Sage of Innocence Saga -OR- Two Links and a Bunch of Authors
By Galaxy Girl

CHAPTER FOUR:

Doseki Musha: WARRIOR OF STONE!

-Or-

"Oh Where Oh Where Has Our Little Link Gone?"

DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters in this fic. Zelda and all related shtuff is property of Nintendo of America. All the cameo authors own themselves, and I own me. All rights reserved. Offer void in Utah.



All right, it's me again. LL. Just to let you know, no Gorons or authors were harmed in the making of this fic. But it is gonna start getting weird soon, so brace up! Oh wait... it can't really get much weirder, can it?



"Hey, lookin' good, LL!" Link said, admiring my new body.
"ROCKS! ROCKS! ROCKS!" I shrieked.
"What's wrong?" Yumi asked. "You look good!"
"WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT IS WRONG? I AM PINK!" I screamed. "I AM SOFT! I AM TALL! I AM A PERSON!"

**WOW... I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT TO HAPPEN!**

"OH DESTINY!" I yelled. "PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO FIX THIS!"

**WELL LL, LET ME GET IN THE IMPORTANT PART FIRST. NOW THAT YOU'VE DISCOVERED THE SECRET OF THE INNOCENCE MEDALLION, I CAN GIVE YOU THE LOCATION OF THE FIRST AUTHOR SAGE TEMPLE.**

"Sorry," I said. "BUT I THINK THIS MIGHT BE A LITTLE MORE IMMEDIATE!"

**OH, HUSH UP. THIS IS THE LOCATION OF THE FIRST TEMPLE:

THE PLACE WHERE SHADOWS REST AND PLAY
CLOSE TO HOME BUT FAR AWAY
WHERE LIGHT IS BORN AND STARS ARE MADE
SECRETS BEHIND A BLUE CASCADE **

"Hmm..." Link said, scratching his head. "I'll remember that!"
"Could you tell me how to fix it now?" I begged.

**LL, THAT FORM IS GOING TO BE AN IMPORTANT PART OF YOU AND LINK'S JOURNEY! YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO USE IT EVENTUALLY. IT'S EASIER TO GET AROUND AS A HUMAN.**

"Well I'll remember that for when I DO need this form!" I said. "Please, just tell me!"

**WELL THAT'S CERTAINLY EASY! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS...**

Suddenly, I heard the voice fizzle out.
"Is what?" Link called. "What does he have to do?"
Then, a new voice came out of nowhere.

BEEEEEP!

**HI, YOU'VE REACHED DESTINY. I CAN'T COMMUNICATE TELEPATHICALLY RIGHT NOW, SO PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AT THE TONE AND I'LL GET BACK TO YOU WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT. OH, REALLY? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, MAKE ME CALL? HEH HEH HEH... WHATEVER. LEAVE YOUR NAME AT THE TONE. **

BEEEEEEEEEEP!

I looked at Link and burst out screaming again.
"OH JEEZ! OH JEEZ! I'M GONNA BE STUCK LIKE THIS FOREVER!" I wailed.
"Calm down!" Link said. "I'm sure we can figure it out!"
A blue light swirled around the three of us, and we began to float in the air. Then everything went black and the light faded.

We were on Death Mountain, right outside of Goron City.
When we landed, Link tapped his boot on the solid ground. "I hate floating," he said.
I took a step forward and slipped on a pebble, falling right on my face.
"OWIEEE!" I cried.
"LL, you gotta take it slow, 'K?" Yumi said. "You don't have your Goron foot traction anymore. It's gonna be a little bit tougher walking on land."
I stood up and noticed the Innocence Medallion, the thing that got me in this mess in the first place, handing off of my neck on the string.
"Well..." Link pondered. "I guess we hafta wait until Destiny calls again before we can change you back."
"But Destiny only talks in the Chamber of Sages!" I cried. "We gotta get back there!"
"Then we have to find the next temple," Yumi said, as if stating the obvious.
"Yo LL, what is with your voice?" asked Link.
"Whaddya mean?" I said. "I sound normal, right?"
"Well sorta," Yumi said. "You have the same little kid voice, but you have sort of an accent. It sounds... like a hockey player!"
"A Canadian accent," Link corrected.
"Oh great," I whined. "THAT makes me feel better."
"And you look a little younger than Link... maybe... 13 or 14?" Yumi commented.
"I'm 14 in Goron years," I said. "Why can't anyone remember that?"
"Come on, let's go," Link said, turning back towards the gate to my home city.
"No way!" I yelled. "I can't show my face in there! I don't wanna go!"
"Don't you wanna tell your dad you're OK?" Yumi queried.
"Well yeah, but..."
"Fine, I'll call Darunia up on Ocarina later. Let's start thinking about that clue," Link suggested.
"Anything to get my mind off of this!" I said.
Link motioned to the lower path that went down the mountain to Kakariko Village. I took a step forward and fell over again.
"This is gonna take some getting used to," I said from my position facedown on the floor.

We had almost reached the bottom of the mountain trail, when Link said, "Ya know LL, we'd better think up another name to call you while you're in that body,"
"Why? I like my name," I said.
"Well yeah, but people all know who Little Link is. They'll get freaked out, ya know?"
"Fine," I said. "What should my name be?"
"How about... Doseki?" Yumi suggested.
"Where did you get that?" Link asked.
"Uh, I don't know. It's just kinda cute!" Yumi said.
"I like it!" I said. "It is cute."
"Doseki... yeah, I guess!" Link admitted.
"Doseki Musha!" I said.
"Musha?"
"Musha?"
"Musha. Like Mushy, but Musha!" I laughed. "I'm not tough anymore, now my skin is all mushy. Or Musha!"
"Yeah, whatever LL... I mean, Doseki." Link said, rolling his eyes.

(A/N: Thanks to Cerena Montanyu for using her Japanese/English dictionary to provide a name for LL. Doseki Musha = "Stone Warrior" in Japanese.)

"Man, I am so stressed out!" I said. I reached down and picked up a rock off of the ground. "I need a bite to eat,"
"No LL!" Link cried. "You..."
CRUNCH!
"OWWWWW!"
"You can't eat rocks now!" Link told me.
"Ya colda sed somting earlier!" I mumbled. "That hurt! What happened to my teeth?"
"You're a person now Doseki! You can't eat rocks, silly!" Yumi laughed. "You gotta eat food."
"But I hate food!" I whined. "I only eat food if it has rocks on it! And even then, I only eat ice cream!"
"Sorry L- Doseki, you gotta get used to it!" Link said.
I sighed. "I miss GG... I miss my old self, too."
"Well, let's go ask some people in the village what Destiny could mean by her clue," Link suggested.
"Fine," I said. "As long as we find it soon."
"Let's think now!" Link said. "'A Blue Cascade' must mean a waterfall. Where is there a waterfall?"
"Not just any waterfall!" I added. "It's gotta be 'close to home but far away'!"
"And what does THAT mean?" Link whined as we passed through the gate leading into Kakariko Village.
"It might mean... OH MY GODDESS!"

We surveyed the village around us. The normal citizens of Kakariko were looking around in confused disarray at a group of people running around through the village.

All of them were authors. I saw Female Mikau arguing with Dekugirl over the price of a fish that she was selling Dekugirl.
Zelda in a Crystal was calling for customers at her own do-it-yourself potion stand, while Granny from the hidden potion shop was yelling at her for infringing on copyright.
Ryo-chan was frantically racing about, searching for any male Gerudos that might be in the premises. She shrieked for joy and tackled the carpenter boss when she saw that he was laughing evilly for some reason or another.
And we heard angry screaming and cursing just around the corner from the regular potion shop.

"I hate to ask," Link said as he surveyed the madness.
Misty Dawn came running by wearing a Bunny Hood. "I AM THE RUNNING GIRL!" she screamed, and she began sniffing the wind like a rabbit and nibbling on some grass.
"Hoo boy..." I said.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Yumi asked. "Everything looks normal to me!"
I just remembered that she was really the Princess of the Pixies, the author.
We stepped just past the potion shop, and we heard a familiar song playing.
"It's... AAAAAAAAAGGGGH!" I screamed.

Matio64 came racing out from behind the potion shop, holding a small music box that played the "Song of Storms" and cranking the handle, while singing, "GO AROUND! GO AROUND!"
And if that wasn't weird enough, the REAL Windmill guy was running after him, screaming "GIVE ME BACK MY MUSIC BOX! GO AROUND! GO AROUND!"

"This day just keeps getting better and better!" I said.
"Really," Link added. "Come on, let's go somewhere quiet so we can think."
"No where is quieter than the graveyard!" Yumi said.
"Sure, whatever." Link said.
"NU UH! I hate graveyards!" I wailed.
"Oh come on L- Doseki!" Link moaned. "You DO wanna be normal again, right?"
"Right. Just as long as it doesn't involve a graveyard!"
"Come on!" he said, grabbing me by the ear.
"OW! OW! OW! HEY, LEGGO!"
I had never missed having no ears until now.

In the graveyard, I shuddered at the invisible chill in the air. Link sat on a tombstone to think.
"'Close to home but far away...'" he pondered. "And where IS home?"
"Goron City," I said simply.
"But how can it be close AND far?" Yumi piped up.
"Also, a waterfall can't happen without a river!" I said.
"And there are no rivers near Goron City!" Link said. "This doesn't make any sense!"
"Only..." I started.
"Only what?" Link and Yumi cried.
"You know that big chasm near the gate to Goron City?" I asked.
"Uh huh? What about it?" Link said. "This could be important!"
"Well, Goron legend says that there used to be a huge river at the bottom of it. It was called the 'River of Stars' because when it was nighttime, you could see all the stars in the sky in the river. The Gorons used to use it for drinking. But when the Sheikah built Kakariko Village, they drained some of the water to dig a well in the village!"
"LL! Er, DOSEKI! THAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT!" Link yelled, jumping off of the tombstone.
"It is?" I asked. "Wow, really?"
"YES! It IS important!" Link said. "This means that the temple must be near that chasm... above the old riverbed."
Yumi zoomed around. "YEAH! YEAH!"
"That makes two of the clues true! 'Where stars are made' and 'Blue cascade'!" Link said. "Good job, Doseki!"
I grinned. "YAY! I THOUGHT GOOD!"
"But how will we get there?" Yumi asked.
"Hmm... that'll take some work!" Link said.
"But we can..." I started.
Suddenly, we fell silent when we heard a voice speaking from the graveyard path from the village.

"That creep! I just got here, and he's already making me work like a dog!"

I gasped. That voice sounded really, REALLY familiar!

"Jerk. I hope no one buys any of his crappy weapons!"

A girl about 14 with long brown braided hair and blazing green eyes appeared on the path. She was carrying a large pack, with a variety of knives and weapons strapped to it.

"LINK!" I screamed as we ducked behind the graves.
"Hush!" he yelled. "She's gonna see us!"
"LIIIINK!" I screamed again.
"What, LL... I mean, Doseki, WHAT?"
"That's Galaxy Girl!" I cried.

Well at least it LOOKED like GG. She was wearing a tattered white dress, and I could still see fragments of her blue headband handing from her hair.
She had heard my yelling, and GG was now looking around suspiciously. "Hello? Is anyone out there?"
"Be quiet!" Link hissed.
"Are you there?" she asked to no one. GG pulled a large knife out of her backpack. "I'm coming... I'm coming! I'm armed and I'm coming!"
Yumi flew out of my pocket. "She's calling for us!"
The tiny deranged author flew out from behind the grave and started waving.
"HEY LADY! WE'RE RIGHT HERE!"
"AAAAAAAAACK!" screamed GG.
"AAAAAAAAACK!" screamed Yumi.
"AAAAAAAAACK!" screamed Link.
"AAAAAAAAACK!" I screamed.
"WHO ARE YOU?" GG yelled.

I popped out from behind the tombstone. "It's OK, it's OK! We come in peace!"
She stepped back and held up the knife. "I AM ARMED, I TELL YOU! ARMED!"
"We do come in peace. We're OK, calm down!" Link said, standing up.
GG looked at us strangely. "Who are you two?"
"I'm Yumi!" Princess of the Pixies said. "I'm his guardian fairy!" she was pointing to me.
"I'm Link," said Link.
"And I'm Doseki," I said. It took all I had not to say Little Link.
"Oh, sorry. I'm a little jumpy, that's all. My name's Fianna!" GG said. "I work for the man who owns the Bazaar. I travel around, and sell weapons and stuff. HEY, YA WANT ONE?"
"I DO! I DO!" Yumi cried.
"Ignore her," Link whispered.
"I want one!" I said.
GG raised and eyebrow and frowned. "Ya know what's funny? I swear... I've met you before! Your voice... it sounds so familiar!"
"Oh, I just got one of those voices!" I said quickly.
"Oh. Well, what do you want?" she asked. She unfolded a backpack and out popped more sharp objects and weapons than I had ever seen.
"OOH... what's that?" I asked, pointing to a large sword.
"That's our latest style. It's called the Huckleberry Bushwhacker." GG said, grinning. "Only 400 Rupees!"
Link's eyes popped open. "Uh, L- Er, Doseki, we don't got that much."
"Oh, OK." GG said, packing it up. "I would prefer you didn't buy stuff from that dweeb anyway."
"Why not?" I asked.
"Well... he's just a big dumb musclehead. Not really good for anything but brute strength. No intelligence at all!" GG explained.
I gulped. Was it just me, or did she just describe ME!?
GG eyed me gently. "Well, from what I've seen, you guys are pretty nice. I think I'll give you a discount!"
"YAY!" I cheered.
GG giggled, and laughed, "Hey, you giggle like a little kid!"
I blushed, and Link burst out laughing.

"All right, which one of these do you want?" GG said, pointing to all of the knives.
She folded back a flap of cloth, and I gasped to see her Galaxy star wand there in the backpack.
"What is THAT?" I asked.
"Oh, this is something I found lying on the ground. I think I'll be able to get a good price for it!" she chuckled.
"Um, I'll take it!" I said quickly. If GG ever DID get back her memory, she would be needing that.
"How about 50 R for it?" suggested GG.
"Sure! Yeah!" I said. Link sighed and shelled out a purple Rupee.
"Thank you!" GG said, and she tucked it in her pocket.
I picked up the wand and put it away before she could go pawn it, or something.
"I'd suggest this one for a weapon," GG said, holding up a small double sided sword with a handle in the center. "It's the Little Giant. Good for small people, like you and me."
I took the sword and eyed it. "COOL!"
Link sighed and shelled out another 50 R.
"Thank you!" I said.
"No, thank YOU!" GG said.
GG looked down at a timepiece on the backpack and said, "Wow, it's almost dark. Why don't you two..."
"AND MEEEEE! AND MEEEEEE!" Princess P- Yumi said.
"... You THREE stay with me tonight?"
"A warm bed? GREAT!" Link said.
"Bed? No, I sleep up on the hill by the Windmill."
"Aw MAN!" Link whined.

THAT NIGHT...

It was late. The campfire was just starting to fade, and I was wide awake. I couldn't sleep in this uncomfortable position on my back. I needed to roll up in a ball and sleep on my face.
I tossed and turned and sat up. GG, or Fianna, slept right to my left, and Link was crashed on the right. Princess of the Pixies... er, Yumi was asleep in Link's hat, which he had removed for once.
"Man, this is uncomfortable!" I whined softly.
I was hungry, too. The stuff that Link had cooked for dinner... I think he called it "soup" was so disgusting, I couldn't stand to eat it.
After the others had eaten, I tried to sprinkle some pebbles in the soup, but I found I STILL couldn't eat. Stupid human teeth... it was annoying.
I stood up. The sky was pitch black, and the stars shined down like tiny little dots in the sky. (OK, I'm not very good with descriptions)
The full moon was right above us. It was too bright! I was too hungry! I couldn't sleep on my back!
All I wanted to do was go home... to Goron City! To my nice, dark, quiet room... with the posters of the Indigo-gos and the Rockheads on the wall and my rock collection.
And when I got there, I would eat something good, too.
It was too quiet.
I saw GG asleep next to me. Did she really remember anything at all? I didn't think so.
And I was worried. What if, when GG finally did get her memory back, she thought I was a dweeb instead of her beloved short, Goron boyfriend?
Oh GG. Why can't you and the other authors remember?
I could hear Matio64 and the Windmill Guy playing their favorite song from inside the windmill.
I decided to think.
I normally wasn't very good at thinking, but I don't think this situation qualifies under the "normal" category.
The one thing I didn't mind about this human body was the hair. I liked having a full head of hair, even though my own red eyes kinda creeped me out when I saw them in the Mirror Shield. But I did miss my beard. A Goron's beard is his pride and joy. And mine was mysteriously left on my other body, wherever it was.
I was beginning to get tired. But I felt lonely.
I had a song stuck in my head, one that GG had taught me.
"Yesterday... All my troubles seemed so far away! Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday!
Suddenly... I'm not half the man I used to be! There's a shadow hanging over me... oh Yesterday came suddenly!"
I looked over at what used to be my girlfriend.
"WHYYYYY SHEEEE HAD TO GOOO I DON'T KNOW, SHE WOULDN'T SAYYYY!" I crooned. "I SAID SOMETHING WRONG NOW I LOOOOONG FOR YESTERDAYYYYAYAYAYYYYYY!"
Link snorted and began to stir.
I hit the ground.
A few seconds later, I sat up again.
"Goodnight, GG... Wherever you are," I said to her.
"Goodnight Little Link," I said in a high voice. For some reason, it was reassuring.
"Goodnight Link. Goodnight Princess... I mean, Yumi. Goodnight Dad, back at home. Goodnight everyone!"
I rolled up in a ball and fell over flat on my face.
"OOF!" I grunted.
AHHHHH... Comfort at last!

THE NEXT DAY...

I woke up to see Link staring at me.
"What?" I mumbled.
"You shouldn't sleep like that. It looks weird," he said, frowning.
"I can't sleep any other way!" I whined.
"Look, we'll both stop whining. Now, where did GG... I mean, Fianna go?"
Yumi was zooming around the village looking for her.
"I can't find her anywhere!"
"Her bags are still here," I said, pointing.
"So where did she go?" Link asked to no one.
"I know where she went..." said a garbled old voice.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH!" I screamed, leaping up off the ground.

I turned around to see another author, Topaz989. She was bent over like an old woman, and dressed in old lady clothes, which looked weird considering she was young and healthy.
"Who... who did you see?" asked Link.
"The young lady, Fianna. I saw her early this morning. She woke up... and something weird happened," Topaz said, in the old voice.
"What?" Link and I said at the same time.
"I saw a soft blue glow fill the sky from next to the mountain, and a chill went through the air. Then, a group of creatures appeared out of nowhere and grabbed her!"
I gasped. "Oh no!"
"Darn near gave me a heart attack, it did!" Topaz hissed.
"Where did the glow come from?" Link asked urgently.
"Right over there..." Topaz said, pointing to the mountain. "A little to the southeast."
"The chasm! The river! THE TEMPLE!" Link screamed.
"Uh oh! This isn't good!" I wailed.
"L- Doseki, come on! We gotta get going!" Link said, throwing all his stuff in a bag.
I stood up and put the Little Giant sword on my belt. Could I use it if I had to?
Then I saw the Galaxy crystal wand in my pocket.
GG... where was she?
Would she ever remember me?
And most importantly, was she OK?



So, L- Doseki, Link and Pri- YUMI are on their way to the hidden temple in the chasm. We still don't know exactly what this Innocence Medallion that LL had can do! What happened to Destiny? And what other weird, wacky authors are they going to see on their quest? Find out in the next chapter...

THE PLACE WHERE STARS ARE BORN

-Or-

FUN IN THE GALAXY TEMPLE!