The Sage of Innocence Saga -or- Two Links and a Bunch of Authors
By Galaxy Girl

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters or places in this fic. Nintendo owns Zelda, the cameo authors own themselves, and I own me. All seven temples are of my own creation, so please ask before using them! Offer expires 5/25/20! Void where prohibited!



Hey all, it's me, LL. Or, um... Doseki, that is. Last time, we found my girlfriend GG, but she thought that she was an overly caffeinated blade salesperson, when she was kidnapped by some weird dudes.



CHAPTER FIVE: THE PLACE WHERE STARS ARE BORN -or- FUN IN THE GALAXY TEMPLE!

Link grabbed me by the arm and pulled me all the way back up the hill through the village and on the way up Death Mountain Trail.
"OW! Link, where's GG?" I wailed.
"I think the creatures took her to the temple by the river!" he said.
"We've gotta help Fianna!" screamed Princess of the Pixies, or Yumi.
"But... we don't know how to get there!" I said.
"You should right?"
"Uh, no! The river has been dried up for years!" I yelled. "Don't you ever listen to me?"
"Well... No."
We reached the hill near Goron City, when we suddenly saw something that made me gasp.
There, next to the chasm, gazing over the side, was my dad, Darunia!

Link tried to duck behind a rock, but my dad saw him first.
"Link! Brother!" he cried, running as fast as he could over to me.
"Oh, uh... hi Darunia!" Link said nervously.
"Where's LL?" Dad asked, "And who is this?"
"This is Doseki Musha, a guy from Kakariko," Link said. "And LL... he went with me to town."
"How was the temple? Why did LL go to town without me?" Dad inquired. "And why didn't you tell me that you were safe? I've been worried to death over my little LL!"
I didn't say anything, because my voice sounded the same.
"We appeared in the village," Link lied. "He decided to stay and look at... bombs."
I elbowed him in the ribs.
"Uh... not bombs, arrows!" Link said quickly.
Dad raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Oh. Well, he should have told me he was leaving for a while. I hope he doesn't starve on those disgusting rocks from the village! YUK!"
Link chuckled nervously.
"Well, see you later Brother," Dad shrugged. He turned and walked back into the city.

Link sighed and stared over the edge of the chasm. "WOOO! That was close!"
"How are we going to get over there? It's impossible, without water and a boat!" Yumi whined.
Suddenly, we were hit with a strange sensation. The mountain landscape faded, and we were in a small white room.
"AAAH! WHERE ARE WE?" I screamed.
"I... don't know," Link said. "Probably a surreal vision. I have them all the time."
A voice boomed out, and echoed through the tiny white room.

LINK... LINK OF THE GORONS...

"Uh, hello Mr. Magic Room Person, uh... Hello?" I stammered. Link rolled his eyes.
"Who are you?" Link called.

WE HAVE MET BEFORE, LINK.

"Yeah, that's great. But who are you?" Link said, getting a little impatient.
A shadow fell across the room, and we spun around.
There stood a man about Link's age, wearing a blue suit and a white turban and veil over his face.
"SHEIK?" Link cried. "Wow! Hey, I thought you were Zelda,"
Sheik groaned and slapped his forehead. "Ya know, there just might be a REAL Sheik, OK?"
"Oh yeah," Link said.
"You are searching for the Author Sages, aren't you?" Sheik said.
"Yeah," I answered.
Sheik cleared his throat, and began a long speech.
"Beyond our earth, beyond our home and our birthplace, there is a wide open area unseen by any man... A realm of mystery and illusion, that no one has ever seen all of. You cannot see all of it, just like the emotion of a human heart..."
I yawned. "And does this speech have a point?"
Sheik scowled and continued. "Each of us has our own realm, our own hidden place that no one can see. It is in our heart. It is our galaxy, hidden deep within the feelings of our hearts."
"Ooooh..." I cooed.
"To rescue the girl, you need to learn the melody that will bring you into the realm of the unseen, the galaxy. This is the 'Legato of Galaxy'."
Sheik pulled a small harp (or was it a lyre? I can't ever tell) out from behind his back and plucked a few notes on it.

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Link pulled out his Ocarina and repeated the notes.
Then, the two played together. It was such a soothing melody... quiet... and calm... and...
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

"Yo, L- Doseki, wake up!" Link yelled, nudging me with his elbow.
I opened my eyes. "Huh? Oh, hi Link..." I looked at my human hands. "Darn... I thought it was a dream..."
Sheik rolled his eyes. "Good job Link, you played the 'Legato of Galaxy'."
He turned to me. "As for YOU, you need an instrument, LL. Or Doseki, or whatever you go by."
He reached behind him and pulled out a small bongo drum with string running down the sides instead of wood.
"Take this talking drum. It should help you two."
"AAAH! A TALKING DRUM?" I squealed.
"Not like that!"
Sheik handed me the drum. I held it under my arm, and pounded the surface. When I squeezed the strings, the drum made different pitches and notes.
"COOL!" I screamed.
"Now you play it!"
My eyes widened and I stared at the drum. "Uh, could you play it again?"
Sheik sighed and played the "Legato of Galaxy" once again. I repeated it, though it sounded a little out of tune on me.
"Good job, you got it." Sheik said.
"What does this song do?" Yumi asked.
"This song will lead you to the hidden temple under the cascade. You must also play another song to open the door."
"Which one?" I asked.
"The song that brings out the innocence in the soul."
"Could you stop talking in philosophical phrases, please?" I begged. "I don't get it."
"He means the 'Ode to Innocence', Doseki." Link explained.
"Oh yeah!" I said. "I get it!"
Sheik nodded and put the harp thingy away. "Good luck rescuing the girl, and awakening the Author Sage of Galaxy. I will send you back to the mountain now, and I will see you near the next temple."

The whiteness faded and we found ourselves back near the entrance to Goron City.
"WHOA! WEIRD!" I cried.
"Come on, let's play the song!" Link said, pulling out his Ocarina.
He played the first four notes, and then stared at me.
"Wow... the... blue... so... pretty... DOOOOOOOO!" I drooled.
Link thwacked me in the head, and I came to.
"Sorry,"
I pulled out the drum, and we played the song.
A silvery blue light surrounded us, and we disappeared into a silvery blue crystal shaped thingy.
The crystal floated up in the air, and sped off over the chasm. The reddish brown rocks and cliffs of the mountains were flying by really, really fast.

"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed, watching the cliffs and hills of the mountains zooming below us.
"Calm down! You're giving me a headache!" Link snapped.
"Hey Link! LOOK!" Yumi cried.
"WHAT?" Link and I both said.
"Check it out! There's water down there in the chasm!"
Sure enough, a raging river was flowing at the very bottom of the chasm. The River of Stars! So it wasn't a legend!
"WOW!" I breathed, and pointed ahead.
Whoa... I never noticed how long and ugly these human fingers were! They were so long... and ugly... and... stuff!
"What?" Link asked. "Why are you staring at your fingers?"
"Uh, never mind. Look! There's a HUGE waterfall!"
Straight in front of us was a (huge) blue waterfall feeding into the river. The waterfall seemed to sparkle in the sunlight, and it appeared to be shimmering in the noonday light.
"OOH, PRETTY!" I cried. "If GG was kidnapped, I'm sure this would be the place to take her! She'd love it!"
"Yeah, yeah." Link said.

The crystal ripped through the flow of the waterfall and stood straight up. We were hovering over a large circular pad on the ground, and the crystal suddenly vanished!
I felt my feet touch the ground. I couldn't hear anything but the roaring of the waterfall, barely a few feet behind us.
The pad was engraved with a swirling galaxy pattern, and a five pointed star was in the center of the swirl.
A few feet ahead of us was a blue stone door, with the same pattern as on the pad on it.
"Let's open this sucker up and go save your girlfriend!" Link said. He pulled out his Ocarina, I pulled out my drum, and we played the "Ode to Innocence".
The door made a loud squeaky noise, and moved back a few inches. Then, the door split into two pieces and slipped away into the sides of the door frame.
It was pitch black inside the temple. I gulped and peeked in the door.
"It sure is dark in there..." I moaned.
"L- Uh, Doseki, if you want to..."
"No. I'm going in there to save my girlfriend and awaken the Sage, so I can turn back into my old Goron self. Let's go!"

We stepped into a long dark corridor. Yumi was the only source of light.
"Um, Doseki?"
"Yeah?"
"Stop squeezing my waist so tight! I can't breathe!"
"Oh, sorry."
"Gee, there might be monsters in this hallway!" Yumi said suddenly. "You'd better watch out where you step!"
I screamed and leaped up into Link's arms. "MONSTERS? WHERE?"
Link groaned and threw me down. "Get off!"
"Sorry... It's really, really scary in here!" I whimpered.
"Calm down, Prince- Uh, Yumi will find them.
Suddenly, I saw something up ahead. I stopped short. "Hey Link?"
"Why did you stop, Doseki? Come on, keep walking! There's nothing- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Link was gone! He had disappeared down some sort of trap door.
"Link! Link, are you OK?" I yelled down.
"WOW! Doseki, Yumi come down here!"
I held my nose and took a step forward.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"OWWWWW!" I screamed.
Then I opened my eyes.
"WOW!"
The room we were in was wide, cavernous, and really, really cool looking! The walls were black and navy blue swirled, with tiny stars and blurs of light all over the walls. It was like we were standing in outer space or some place kind of like that! There was no visible floor, and I was caught just staring at the ceiling.
"COOOOOOOL!" I breathed.
Link stood up and dusted himself off. "Yeah, real nice,"
Yumi started shouting and zooming around the room like crazy. "Holy Purple Dishwashers, Batman! There are five whole doors in this room!"
Sure enough, there were five doors in the galaxy room. One was at the far end of the room at the top of a large marble staircase. There were two doors on each side of the temple, east and west. On the right there was a blue door and a green door, and on the left was a yellow door and a red door.
"Let's go red first!" I suggested, running over to it. The door was locked with a blue and a green lock.
Link ran back to the yellow door, and was about to open it when Yumi started buzzing at him. "HEY!"
He shuddered. "What?"
"This is a one-way door. You can only open it from the inside."
"Oh sure!" Link laughed. "This is one of those tricks to try and make me go the long way!"
He reached over to open the door, but there was nothing to turn. The door was slammed shut.
He stepped back a few feet, and ran towards the door at top speed.
"If I can ram it in, then... AACK!"
He bounced off of the door, grabbing his shoulder in pain.
"OY! THE PAIN! OY!"
"If I was a Goron, I could take this down easy!" I smirked.
"Don't bother trying the green door. It's the same kind."
"So that means we gotta try the BLUE one!" I said, racing over to it.
Sure enough, the door slid open easily.
Link stomped over to the open door, holding his shoulder and grumbling.

The room has the same galaxy patterned walls, with a large blue fountain in the middle. Tiny bubbles were floating all over the room.
"Oh, pretty!" I said, as a bubble popped on my nose. "I forgot... I have a nose now."
Link looked around suspiciously. "Something's not right..."
Yumi squealed and pointed over to a corner of the room. "Holy Purple Dishwashers!"
Four 6 foot tall purple monsters were standing in the corner staring blankly at us. They had small antenna looking things on their heads, and white boxes on their stomachs.
"Oh no! Please say that they're not..." Link gasped.
The purple monsters laughed wickedly. "EH-OH!" they said.
"GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!" Link screamed. "They're TELETUBBIES!"
Yumi flew over to one and turned yellow. "This is a Purple Tubby! It's a monster made totally of evil and hate! It is very cruel and very evil, and it'll do anything it can in order to try and kill you! You need to hit its antenna to kill it!"
The Teletubbies began tiptoeing towards us, chanting "... Kill... Kill..."
I jumped back behind Link. "LINK! SAAAAAVE ME!"
He pulled out his sword. "Ha, try and get past this, you purple scum!"
"HE NOT NICE..." one of them moaned. "He must die!"
The Teletubbies ran forward and leaped upon Link, while he cussed and screamed and wrestled them off.
Yumi and I ran over to the end of the room. "Doseki, they're gonna kill Link!"
Sure enough, they overpowered him and started dragging him over to the fountain.
"Teletubbies... Teletubbies... Say Hello!" they chanted.
"GODDESSES! SAAAAAAAVE ME!" Link screamed in a high voice.
I looked around quickly, searching for some way to dispatch the evil Teletubbies. I saw the Little Giant, the sword GG had given me.
I shrugged and pulled it out of my belt.
"COOOOL!" I said, spinning it around.
"Um, Doseki? Sometime BEFORE they drown him?"
"Oh yeah. HIIIIIIIIIIIYAH!"
I screamed out several Goron curses, and ran up to the big evil Teletubbies, whacking several of them in the antenna. Two of them fell over and disappeared.
The remaining two Teletubbies glared at me evilly and dunked Link in the fountain.
"AAAAAAAAAAAGH! THIS ROLEX IS NOT WATER RESISTANT, YOU $#@#$%^$!" Link shouted.
I decided to try a trick that I learned from my pal Bubba Bo Bob Brian, spinning the sword around by the handle like a baton. I was pretty good at it, even with these ugly fingers, and I swung it around and made ninja noises.
"HIIIIIYAH!"
The other two Teletubbies were smacked in the antenna by the sword, and they disappeared.
Link sputtered and climbed out of the fountain.
"Stupid Teletubby @&$*$$%^!" he cursed. "Hey, good job Doseki!"
He patted me on the back, and I tumbled into the fountain.
"AAAAAAH! LINK! SAVE ME! I'M DROWNING! AAAAAAH!" I kicked my legs and screamed and gargled.
Link stared down into the fountain. "Doseki, you're in about a foot of water."
"Oh."
I stood up and shook off.
"Hey, there's a door in the back!" Yumi said, pointing to it.
Link wrung his hat out, then straightened it on. "Perfect! Now, let's go!"

We opened the door and walked down a long spiral staircase.
"I never realized how much I hate stairs," I grumbled.
At the bottom was a tiny room with a treasure chest in the middle and another door at the end.
"OOH! OOOH! A CHEST! LET US OPEN IT GEORGE, PLEASE LET US OPEN IT!"
"Don't call me George." Link snorted.
I ran over to the chest, opened it and...

LINK AND LITTLE L- UH, DOSEKI GOT THE DUNGEON MAP! NOW THEY CAN STUMBLE AROUND THIS HECK HOLE OF A DUNGEON FOR HOURS ON END, BUT STILL HAVE A BASIC IDEA WHERE THEY ARE!

Link tucked the map into his pocket. "We're in the first basement. Another door, let's go."

The next room was a long hallway, with Technicolor neon lights all over.
"OOOOOH! I like this temple Link!" I said.
"You weren't almost drowned by psychotic Teletubbies!" he snapped.
"You don't have to be so mean!"
"Sorry, sorry. I'm wet, cold, and kinda PO'ed at the time, 'K?"
Against the wall was a small treasure chest. Link kicked it open and I pulled out what was inside.

LINK AND L- $&%*! DOSEKI GOT THE FOUNTAIN KEY! THIS A IS A SPECIAL BLUE SMALL KEY THAT UNLOCKS ALL THE BLUE LOCKS IN THE TEMPLE. AND IT'S REUSABLE, TOO!

"A reusable key. Now there's something they could have made up a long time ago." Link chuckled.
Yumi flew over to another door.
"Doseki, Link, there's something behind this door!"
"No, REALLY?" Link asked, dripping with sarcasm.
"Shut up and listen, meat head! I can feel something really evil behind this door!"
Link shrugged and opened the door. "What can it be? Can't be that..."
"EH-OH!"
Ten Green Teletubbies were standing in the room, another spiral staircase room.
"Me and my big fat mouth!"

Yumi turned yellow. "Those are Green Tubbies! They're kinda like the purple ones, but tougher. You need to hit them in the stomach instead of the head."
"OK then, let's go!" I said, running into the group.
"ARE YOU NUTS?" Link screamed.
I whipped out my sword and started spinning around like a crazy ninja. "HIIIIIYAH! WOOOOOOYAH! BOOOOOOYAH!"
Link slapped his forehead and pulled his sword. "Hiyah. Wooyah. Booyah."
"No, you gotta put some feeling into it! HIIIIIYAH! WOOOOOYAH! BOOOOOOYAH!"
In what seemed like no time, we had dispatched all ten of the evil Teletubbies.
Link sighed and put his sword away. "I hate those things!"
Another treasure chest appeared on the floor near Link.
"COOL!" I said, running over to it.

LINK AND LITTLE- UH, DOSEKI FOUND THE COMPASS! NOW THEY CAN KINDA FIND THEIR WAY AROUND SOME MORE. I GUESS. MAYBE. HEY, I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING... HOW DOES A COMPASS HELP YOU FIND TREASURE CHESTS? IT JUST SHOWS YOU WHAT DIRECTION TO GO! WHAT'S UP WITH THAT, MAN? CRAZY! OOPS, I FORGOT... ONLY ALLOWED TO SAY 65 WORDS IN ONE OF THESE EXPLANITORY THI-

Link started running up the stairs, and I began, but I slipped halfway up and slid all the way back down.
"OWWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWW..."
Link stared down at me from the top of the stairs. "Hey, watch it will ya? I can't have you falling down every time we have to go up stairs!"
"Ow... I think... I broke... my nose..."

The staircase led to a room with galaxy patterns on the wall, and a large electric bubble on a stand in the center. Four more Green Tubbies were in the room.
"KILL THEM!" one of them cried. They began slowly marching towards us.
"Hey, there's no fountains in here! You can't kill us! HA!" Link laughed.
"Actually, smart guy, there's a really big electrified bubble right there. Looks pretty deadly to me." Yumi said.
"Oh." Link pulled out his bow. "I ain't taking chances with these guys!" I pulled out the Little Giant. "This is for my girlfriends, you #*%$&#@!"
Link stared at me. "Little Link! You watch your mouth!"
"Oops, sorry. HIIIIYAH! WOOOOOOYAH! BOOOOYAH!"
Two Tubbies came after me. I kicked one in the stomach, and slapped the other one in the face. Then I stabbed him, and he died.
Link used a little more fancy footwork to get rid of all of the evil green Teletubbies. Then, he put away his bow and a chest appeared on the floor.
I bent down to open it, and...

LINK AND DOESKI GOT THE THUNDER KEY! THIS IS A GREEN SMALL KEY THAT OPENS ALL OF THE GREEN LOCKS IN THIS TEMPLE. HEY, I GOT IT RIGHT THIS TIME!

We opened the door, and found ourselves back in the Galaxy Room. We had just come out of the green door.
"Hey, we can unlock the red door now!" I said happily. "You can have the Thunder Key, Link. Because you like green, right?"
"Well Duh..." he started, but then he smiled and took the key from me. "Thank you, Doseki."
Finally! A little respect!

We each unlocked a lock on the red door, and we were in yet another galaxy patterned room. A huge torch sconce was in the center, and a few red Teletubbies stood at the far end, holding nunchuks.
"That's a Red Tubby. These ones are harder than Green and Purple! You have to dodge their ninja attacks, then hit them in the stomachs to stun them, and THEN you hit their antenna!"
"HOOOOOOYAH!" the Tubbies screamed, then they all ran after us.
"AAAAAAAAAH!" I cried. "I'M AFRAID! I'M AFRAID!"
"Calm down!" Link said, pulling out his sword. "If you panic, they'll get us!"
One of the Teletubbies whacked Link's sword with the nunchuks, and knocked it out of his hand and across the room. The other Teletubbies gathered around us and sneered.
Link stepped back. "Hey Doseki, you know what I said about panicking?"
"Yeah?"
"Forget it."
He stood silent for a second, and then...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"
The Teletubbies came at us, squealing and swinging their nunchuks around.
"HOOOYAH!" I yelled back, smacking one in the stomach with my sword.
Link thought fast and pulled out the hooky thingy. Then he hit the one that I had stunned in the antenna with it.
"AAAAAAH!" the Teletubby yelled, then it fell over and croaked.
The other Teletubbies stepped back, and Link and I hit and killed another one. The remaining two tried to run away, but Link hit them both in the stomach with the hook, and I finished them off with the sword.
"YAAAY!" I cried.
Link recovered his sword, and smiled. "Hey, you did good Doseki!"
"Thank you," I replied, and another chest appeared by the torch.

LINK AND LITT- #&%*! DOSEKI GOT THE EMBER KEY! THIS KEY UNLOCKS RED LOCKS. USE IT WISELY, MI' SONS...

There was another door in the back, so Link led me through it.

Another spiral staircase led down to the bottom, where we found another long neon hallway like on the other side of the temple.
"Hopefully we're done with the Teletubbies," Link said. "UGH!"
At the end of the neon hall was another spiral staircase identical to the ones we had seen earlier.
Link ran up quickly, but I decided to take my time. Slowly, surely, one step, two steps...
"Come on, Doseki! You're taking forever!" Link shouted.
"OK, I think I..." I said, speeding up. "OW! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW- OOOF!"
Link rolled his eyes. "Down at the bottom again, Doseki?"
"I really... think... I broke... my nose... this time..."

The room at the top of the stairs was the final galaxy patterned room. In the center of this room was a large glowing obelisk. Four yellow Teletubbies were standing guards with big sharp sticks. They saw us, and immediately charged.
"AAACK! YELLOW TUBBY!" Yumi screamed. "AAAAGGH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
"What's so bad about the yellow ones?" I asked.
"THEY ARE MEEEEEEAN! They carry big sharp sticks, and they're the most evil ones of all! They are also fully armored, and you can only kill them by hitting their backs!"
The three of us leaped out of the way of the evil vicious Teletubbies, and Link pulled out his sword. I got out the Little Giant, and the Teletubbies started out charging again.
"All right you pathetic... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGH!" Link screamed. He was hit with the stick by one of the Teletubbies, and knocked to the ground.
"AAAAAGH, DOSEKI, HELP MEEEE!" he cried as the rest of them ran over.
"HIIYAH!" I cried, hitting one of them in the back and killing it.
"WOOOOYAH!" I screamed, as I killed another one.
"WOOOOOCHA!" I shouted, smacking out another one.
"BOOOOOOYAH!" I yelled, killing the last one.

Link stood up and fell over again. "OW... %&$* Teletubbies..." he whined.
Another chest appeared by the obelisk, and I opened it up.

LINK AND... DOSEKI FOUND THE BEAM KEY! THIS YELLOW SMALL KEY OPENS ALL THE YELLOW LOCKS IN THIS PLACE!

"Now where do we go, Link?" I asked, as we exited through the yellow door back into the galaxy room.
"Hey, that door at the north side of the room was locked with one of each of the blue, green, red, and yellow locks!" Yumi pointed out.
"Yeah, let's try in there!" Link said.
We ran up the stairs at the north end of the room, and Link unlocked the yellow and green locks with the Beam and Thunder keys. I unlocked the blue and red locks with the Fountain and Ember keys. Then, the large door slid open, and we walked inside.

Inside, there was a long hallway that widened in the center. At the widened part, there was a big treasure chest.
"OOOH OOH! I want to open it!" I cried.
"Help yourself," Link said.

(weird music for when you open a chest)

DUDA DA DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

LINK AND LIT- WHY CAN'T I GET THAT? @$&%! LINK AND DOSEKI FOUND THE SPIRAL BRACELET! THIS BRACELET IS TOO SMALL FOR AN ADULT, SO SORRY LINK, YOU GOT SCREWED OVER ON THIS ONE! THIS BRACELET GIVES WHOEVER WEARS IT THE FIGHTING POWERS OF A NINJA! THEY CAN DO THREE NEW ATTACKS: A SWORD SPIN, RUNNING REALLY FAST AND FLIPPING, AND A MATRIX-ESQUE STYLE FLOAT! COOOOOOL!

I slipped on the bracelet. "SWEEEET! It looks good on me!" I said.
"Shut up, and let's keep going!" Link said.
"There's something important in this next room, I can feel it!" Yumi said.
Link set his hand on the doorknob and turned it.

The next room was wide open and square, with four targets on the wall. One red, one blue, one green, and one yellow target.
But that was no big deal. In the center of the room stood Galaxy Girl!
"GG!" I cried, running towards her.
"Link! Doseki! I'm so glad to see you!" GG said. "I've been stuck here for a long time!"
"There's something not right about her," I said to myself.
Link ran up to her and looked concerned. "Are you OK?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said.
"Link, GET BACK!" I screamed.
Suddenly, GG grabbed him and twisted his arm backwards. "UNFORTUNATELY, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE FINE WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!" Her voice was deep and evil.
"AAAAAAAAAAH! SHE'S GONE BASS!" Link cried, wriggling to escape.
GG then turned him so he faced the floor, and slammed him into the stone floor.
"Ow..." Link mumbled from his position on the ground. "That wasn't nice..."

Yumi flew towards my girlfriend (or who I thought was my girlfriend) and turned yellow. "This is Dark Galaxy Girl! She looks like GG, but she's evil! Something turned her this way!"
Dark GG laughed and flew up in the air, holding Link. Then, she lifted him above her head, and threw him against the wall.
SPLAT!
Link hit the ground and Yumi and I ran over to see if he was all right.
"OW! She is STRONG!" Link said, rubbing his arm.
"She's a superheroine, stupid!" I said, the first time someone besides me had deserved the title of stupid.
Dark GG laughed and held up her hands. A green thunderbolt appeared, and she hurled it at Link and me!
"I can't get to my shield!" Link shrieked.
Suddenly, I felt the Spiral Bracelet pull out my sword and hold it in my right hand.
"What the- The Bracelet!" I screamed.
The thunderbolt was almost hitting us, when my sword spun in my hand. It was spinning so fast, it knocked the thunderbolt away, and almost hit Dark GG.
"That's it!" Yumi cried. "Use the Sword Spin to reflect the attacks back at her!"
Link got up and we ran back to the door where we had entered. Dark GG laughed, and created a fireball in her hands. She threw that at us, and once again, I spun the sword and it bounced off.
This time it hit her. It didn't even make a dent! She just laughed and the fire disappeared.
"OH NO!" Yumi cried. "How- How are we going to stop her?"
Dark GG laughed wickedly. "YOU FOOLS! NO ONE CAN DEFEAT A SUPERHEROINE!"
Then, she created a ball of light and hurled it.
"I got an idea!" I cried. I bounced the light off the spinning sword, but this time, in the direction of the yellow target.
When the light hit the target, it disappeared, and the target began to glow!
"That's it!" I said.
"Of course!" Yumi said happily. "We gotta bounce the attacks back at the targets!"
Dark GG stared coldly at me, and created a glowing blue bubble beam.
"I know your secret!" I called to her. "So watch it! I'm going to get my girlfriend back!"
Dark GG laughed. "YOU IMBECILE! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT GG LIKES YOU AT ALL?"
"Because she's nice to me, and she said she'd go out with me!"
"YOU IDIOT! GG WOULDN'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH A FAT LITTLE MORON LIKE YOU!"
I gasped. "B-B-But that's not true!"
"IT'S TRUE!" Dark GG said eerily. "GALAXY GIRL HATES YOU, AND SHE ONLY IS NICE TO YOU BECAUSE YOUR FATHER IS A SAGE!"
"But..."
"YOU'RE SCRAWNY, AND STUPID, AND UGLY, AND NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD LIKE YOU! EVEN YOUR FATHER IS ASHAMED OF YOU!"
I could feel tears coming on.
"LL! Don't listen to her!" Link screamed from next to me. "She's only messing with your mind!"
"YOU MIGHT AS WELL STAY IN YOUR CURRENT FORM! YOU SHOULD MOVE FAR AWAY FROM EVERYONE, BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES YOU, YOU PRICELESS EXCUSE FOR A DOLT! EVEN IF GG WERE HERE, SHE WOULDN'T LIKE YOU!"
"You... you MEANIE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I said, bursting into tears.
Link ran over. "L- Doseki, don't listen to her! People like you!"
"YOU DON'T!" I wailed.
"What? Of course I like you!"
"Then how come you're always so mean to me?" I choked. "You hate me, and so does my daddy, and everyone! WAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"I don't hate you! I just get frustrated with you, that's all!" Link said quickly.
"YOU DIDN'T WANT TO WORK WITH ME WHEN DESTINY TOLD YOU TO!" I cried. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Suddenly, a flash of blue interrupted my temper tantrum. It exploded near us, and Link and I were thrown back by the force.
I smacked into a wall. "OWIE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I cried.
I looked over at Link, who was unconscious. Yumi was slapping my face. "DOSEKI! DOSEKI! WAKE UP!"
Dark GG was laughing. "AND YOU'RE GULLIBLE TOO!"
Then I realized Link was right! Dark GG was just trying to distract me from killing her!
I jumped up. "COME ON! LET'S GO!"
"WHAT?" Dark GG shouted. "IT DIDN'T WORK? AARRRGH! NOW I'LL FINISH YOU!"
She launched a thunderbolt, and I bounced it towards the green target. It hit the target, and it began to emit a steady green glow.
Dark GG screamed in rage and threw out another fire ball. This one I hit, and it too flew over to the target.
"Now only one more to go!" I said. "Take this, you big brat!"
"I THINK NOT!" Dark GG said. She threw out a blue bubble beam, and it began to spin and turn and spiral all over the place.
"It's time to try out a new attack!" I said. I ran forward, and leaped into the air.
Sure enough, I stayed there, suspended! Dark GG, the bubble beam, everything was moving in slow motion!
I swung my sword at the beam, and with a CRACK!
It flew over to the blue target just as I hit the ground.

All four targets began to glow. Then, they each shot out a beam of yellow, green, red, or blue light.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!" screamed Dark GG as the beams hit her.
She tumbled out of the air and hit the ground, stunned.
Yumi buzzed in my ear, "DOSEKI! QUICK! Take out your Innocence Medallion, and use it to hold her!"
I shrugged and did so.
Yellowish orange light shot out of the medallion, and Dark GG screamed again.
"FOOLS! NO... ONE... CAN... BEAT... MY... MASTER... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
When the light faded, Dark GG stood there, wincing in pain. Then, she gasped and fell over on her face.

I had noticed that there was a black chain around GG's right wrist.
I stepped slowly towards her, lying on the ground.
"... GG?"
The black chain faded, and then disintegrated.
Link moaned and sat up. He saw me standing there.
"Doseki! LL! You did it!" he said. He ran over to join me.
Suddenly, a cold wind blew into the room. A black cloud of smoke appeared above us, and a sinister looking boy about GG and my age appeared.
He had blonde hair, and was wearing a tight black shirt with silver razor blades sticking out. He had two horns coming out of his head, and wore the baggiest pants I'd ever seen. He had what looked like a freaked out saxophone on his belt. But for some reason... he seemed very familiar to me!
"Well, well..." he said evilly. "Looks like she's back to normal..."
"Who are you?" cried Link.
"I'm her master! The rest is for me to know and you to find out!" he laughed. "Well, I can't leave her here like this... she might regain her senses... Heh heh... this virus is a great thing!"
He took out the evil saxophone and played an evil sounding song. Then, he laughed wickedly, and both he and GG disappeared into a puff of smoke.
"HACK! HACK! COFF!" Link and I sputtered.
When the smoke cleared, they were both gone!
"Come on Link! We gotta save GG!" I cried.
Suddenly, a treasure chest appeared next to where Link and I were standing.
Link unlocked it, threw back the lid, and...

LINK AND LITTLE LINK/DOSEKI RECEIVED THE GALAXY KEY! THIS IS A SILVER BOSS KEY WITH A STAR ON THE END. IT OPENS UP THE BOSS KEY DOOR IN THE GALAXY TEMPLE! IT WAS RECEIVED WHEN YOU DEFEATED DARK GALAXY GIRL.

"Come on!" Link said. He pointed to a door in the back of the room. "Let's get moving!"
We opened the door, and we were in a long hallway. At the end was a door locked with a star lock. The walls were patterned with the galaxy again.
"Uh, Link?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you mean what you said back there?"
"About me not hating you? Of course."
"Then why are you always so mean?"
"Because you frustrate me sometimes," he said quietly.
"Oh."
I took the Galaxy Key out of my pocket, and set it in the lock. Then, I turned it.
The lock disappeared from the door, and it slid open.

The room beyond was also patterned with the galaxy, and in the center of it was a chair. In the chair sat the guy we had just seen back in the sub boss room.
"Well, I see you're back to try and rescue her," he said.
"That's right!" I cried.
"Well, it's too late! I got rid of her!"
"Yeah, right!" Link said. "Now, you come on and tell us where she is!"
"I'll do no such thing!" the guy said. He floated up in the air and took out the evil saxophone.

DISCHORD: SINISTER SAXOPHONE HYPNOTIST HOMIE

"That's where I've seen him!" I yelled. "GG made him up! He was one of the homies in her comic book!"
"A what?" Link asked.
"A homie. It's like a youma on the Sailor Moon cartoon."
"That's Dischord!" Yumi said. "He's an evil saxophonist! He can use the power of the sax to cast spells and hypnotize people! You gotta get rid of it as soon as you can, then start the battle with him!"
"Now how did GG and her partners get rid of him in the comic?" I started to think. "AAAH!"
A blast of energy almost hit me. I ducked out of the way just in time.
"We gotta kill him!" Link cried. "Before he can use his saxophone to hypnotize us!"
"Let's watch his attack pattern before we try to kill him!" Yumi suggested.
We figured it out as we ran around the room avoiding him. First Dischord would fire three beams at us, then he would pause for a second to cast a big spell with his saxophone and launch it.

"I got it!" Link said. "We can use that Matrix thing and get him while he's paused!"
We dodged three beams, and then the two of us ran forward and jumped.

We paused in the air, and the two of us flew forward. Then, we kicked the saxophone out of his hands, and it shattered on the ground.
"AAAGH! MYYYYYY SAAAXXXXX!" he said, VEEEEEERY slowly.
Then, the flow of time resumed, and we felt a strong set of hands grab both of us by the neck.
"OWWW!" I choked.
"You fools! Now I will destroy you!" Dischord laughed.
He began to squeeze... HARD! It wouldn't have been a problem if I was a Goron. Unfortunately, now I was vulnerable to strangulation.
I began to lose consciousness, when I heard this:

"GALAXY ILLUSION, SHINE!"

A bright spiral of light hit Dischord, and he fell to the ground, dropping both of us.
I was lying on the ground, with my eyes shut. I heard the following:

"You fool! Now you'll pay!"
"Leave them alone!"
Then I heard an explosion and a scream.
"MUAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! That'll teach you!"
I quickly opened my eyes. I saw Dischord facing away from me, to something on the ground.
I sat up, pulled out the Little Giant, and pitched it at him as hard as I could.
THWACK!
I heard a groan, and Link and I both stood up.
Dischord was standing there, with the sword running him through. He reached down and wiggled the blade.
"OW! Well, it's not so bad..." he said to us.
Suddenly, he turned to the side and saw it sticking out the other side.
"UGGGH... I was wrong!"
Then, he fell over, dead.

We raced over to see what he had been looking at.
THERE WAS NOTHING THERE!
I sighed, recovered my sword, and a warp portal appeared on the ground near where Dischord fell.
"What's wrong?" asked Link.
"I was hoping we'd find GG..." I said quietly.
"Oh. Well, come on, let's go." Link said, pointing to the warp portal.
I stepped into the blue circle, and Yumi flew in after us. A crystal enclosed the three of us. Then, I caught my last glimpse of the Galaxy Temple as we disappeared.

Seconds later, we landed in the Chamber of Sages. I was on the smiley face, Link on the Triforce. Suddenly, we heard a booming voice that was so familiar.

**ALL RIGHT! DESTINY IS ON THE LINE AGAIN! SORRY ABOUT THAT LAST TIME, BOYS.**

"Yeah, really." I said grumpily

**AWW, WHY THE LONG FACE?**

"My girlfriend just disappeared." I said.
"He's kind of upset also that you didn't tell him how to change back," Link added.

**OH. MY BAD.**

"So, could you PUH-LEASE tell me how to change back into myself now?"

**WE'LL GET TO THAT LATER. THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT I HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS. YOU TOO, PRINCE- UH, YUMI.**

"What?" I asked.

**YOUR GIRLFRIEND ISN'T GONE, LL, DOSEKI, WHATEVER YOU GO BY. SHE'S RIGHT HERE!**

A silvery blue light appeared on the silvery blue galaxy symbol to my right. We turned to face it, and...

GALAXY GIRL APPEARED!

She looked perfectly normal, in her old clothes, and with the same old look on her face.
"OW!" she whined, rubbing her arm. "Stupid Homie!"
Then she noticed us. "Hi Link, Doseki. Uh, I just wanted to say, thank you for what you did back there."
"No problem." Link said. "Part of my- uh, OUR job!"
I smiled. "Do... do you know who you are?"
"Uh huh. I'm Galaxy Girl, superheroine and author on Fan Fiction.net, AKA... Hey, I can't tell you that!"

**SEE? I TOLD YOU SHE WAS FINE!**

"Hey, I guess I'm one of the Author Sages!" GG said, grinning. "Cool."
"Um, GG? I hafta tell you something..." I said.
"I already know, LL."
"REALLY?"
"Yeah, really. I know about the Innocence Medallion and the Reality Virus, and everything," she said.
"Oh. And..."
"And LL? I still think you're cool. I don't think you're a dork." GG said.
"What? Huh? How did you know?" I asked.
"I woke up last night and heard you talking about someone thinking you were a dork. I didn't understand until about... ten minutes ago. But you're still my favorite little Goron, don't worry!" GG laughed.
I frowned. "Not anymore... now I'm an ugly old human."
"Nu-uh! You are really, REALLY hot!" GG said quickly.
"HOT?"
"Yeah, you are like, my dream guy!" she said. "Even cuter than Brendan Fraser, and that's saying something!"
Link smiled.
"But WAIT!" I protested. "So does this mean that you won't want me to be a Goron again?"
"Oh NO!" GG said. "I'll still like you as a Goron. In fact, your Goron self has a certain... charm that a human doesn't. I'll like you the same no matter what, LL. Doseki."

**OH YEAH, SPEAKING OF LL... I BET YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW HOW TO TURN BACK INTO YOURSELF.**

"YES!" I screamed. "YES, YES, YESSSS!"

**WELL THAT'S EASY. UM... ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS HOLD UP YOUR MEDALLION AND SAY, "INNOCENCE MEDALLION, RETURN!**

"THAT'S IT?" I cried. "THAT'S IT???? I could have figured that out myself!"

**YOU DIDN'T**
Destiny said, as if that made it all better.

"Oh," I said.
"Thank you, Destiny." Link said appreciatively.
"Well, I'm turning back now!" I said. "See you on the other side!"

"INNOCENCE MEDALLION, RETURN!"

POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFF!

I opened my eyes. I was short!
I took a step. I was heavy!
I tapped my arm. I WAS HARD!
"I'M MEEE! I'M MEEEEE!" I squealed.
"LL! You're back!" Yumi cried.
"All right! Go, my little Goron friend!" Link cheered.

**GOOD FOR YOU. NOW LL, YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO BE DOSEKI AGAIN EVENTUALLY, TO HELP YOU AND LINK SAVE HYRULE. BUT FOR NOW, ENJOY BEING HOME.**

"Oh I will!" I said.
GG smiled. "Here, I figured you'd be wanting this." She threw me a rock.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I yelled for joy. I quickly gobbled it down, and looked at her happily. "Please ma'am, I want some more!"
GG laughed, and then she said, "OK, you can go back to Death Mountain as soon as I give you this. This is the medallion that holds the power of the galaxy. Use it well, LL."
She held up her hands, and a silvery blue medallion engraved with the Galaxy symbol fell from the ceiling.
Link reached up and caught it.

LINK GOT THE-

I hit him in the gut with my elbow. He leaned over in pain, and I caught the medallion when he dropped it.

LITTLE LINK/DOSEKI GOT THE GALAXY MEDALLION! GALAXY GIRL AWAKENS AS AN AUTHOR SAGE AND LETS YOU BORROW HER MEDALLION! YOU CAN USE THE GALAXY MEDALLION TO CALL GALAXY GIRL, AND SHE WILL COME TO HELP YOU WHEN YOU NEED IT. IT'LL BE BILLED ON LINK'S CARD, SO USE IT WISELY. AW HECK, HE CAN AFFORD IT! CALL AWAY!

Link scowled at me, and I tucked the medallion in my pocket. "So GG... I guess you have to stay here... in the Chamber?"
"HECK NO!" GG cried. "There's an Avalanche Playoff game tonight! I'm going back home to Colorado! But I'll be able to come help you whenever you need it, so keep my medallion and use it when you need my help, and I'll appear!"
"Thank you, Galaxy Girl." Link said.
"No, thank YOU!" she said, like she did when I had bought the Little Giant from her alter ego.

**ALL RIGHT YOU BOYS. ENOUGH CHIT CHAT. HERE'S THE CLUE TO YOUR NEXT TEMPLE...

WHERE THE GREENNESS ENDS AND THE SUN BEGINS
SHADOWS AND WINDS ARE BALMY
NEAR THE GODDESS OF THE SAND
INSIDE A CERTAIN PALMY...**

"I'll remember that," Link said.
"I'll see you guys later. LL, come give me a hug!" GG said.
I ran over and hugged her knees. She laughed and patted me on the head.

**ALL RIGHT GUYS. I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. WATCH OUT FOR SHEIK! YOU'LL NEED TO LEARN THE NEW SONG BEFORE YOU CAN ENTER THE NEXT TEMPLE.**

"See ya, GG. Bye, Destiny!" I said.
The blue light shined around us, and I waved goodbye to GG. Then, the blue light enclosed in a crystal around us, and we floated back to Hyrule.



Two mysteries are now solved and behind us. We know how LL turns into Doseki and back, and who the first Author Sage is. But where did Dischord and the evil Teletubbies come from? Where is the next temple, and who is the next Sage? And it seems that someone is causing this virus... but who? Find out when we continue the Sage of Innocence Saga in chapter Six:

THE PLOT THICKENS!

-or-

TEMPLE NO. 2