Sage of Innocence Saga -OR- Two Links and a Bunch of Authors
By Galaxy Girl and Little Link of the Gorons

CHAPTER SEVEN: ENERGY AHOY! -OR- The Weirdest Temple Yet To Be Discovered Is Discovered

DISCLAIMER: Many fine people own Nintendo and the Zelda empire. I am not one of them. Many fine authors write on FanFiction.net and appear in this story. I do not own any of them. A very nice author wrote this story and made up the seven extra temples. Hey, guess what? I DO OWN HER! SHE IS ME!



Link's eyes widened. "A... voice?"
"Yeah," Blossom said. "It was a really creepy voice! Drove shivers down my spine..."
"That proves it!" I cried. "Someone is behind this whole virus thing!"
"SOMEONE started this virus..." Link said quietly. "And Someone is going to sit back and watch as time screws itself up..."
"Ganondorf!" I yelled. "It's him, isn't it?"
"That scumbag!" Link sneered. "Well, we'll make sure he doesn't get his way!"
"WAIT!" Yumi shrieked. "Ganondorf is part of our game too! Why would he want to mess up the flow of time?"
"So he could be an Evil King again, DUHHH!" Link said.
"No, but you killed him too! Why would he want to die again?"
Link was about to say something, then he stopped. He thought for a minute, then grabbed my arm.
"Let's... go find that temple now..." he murmured.

We ran up to the first palm tree we saw. "OK, let's try this one," Link said.
He pulled out his Ocarina and started the song, then stopped. "Doseki... uh, a little accompaniment here is in order."
"Oh, sorry!" I laughed. I grabbed my drum and we played the song.
Suddenly, the sands shifted and...
A large cactus-like thing popped out of the sand and angrily charged us.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCK!" I screamed. I leaped backwards into Link's arms.
"Oh would you get off me?" he cried, throwing me down. I stood up and backed away.
"It's a Leever!" Yumi said. "It'll chase you, but if you're careful, you can avoid it."
"It's s-s-s-scary!" I shrieked.
"Oh, don't be silly!" Yumi laughed. She flew down towards the Leever, made a face, and shouted, "BOO!"
The Leever squeaked and vanished below the sand.
I sighed and shook my head. "I don't like the monsters here! I'd rather see a Dodongo or a big, ugly Keese any day!"
"What monsters? We haven't seen ANY monster yet on our trip to the desert!" Link chuckled. "OK, let's move to the next tree."
We walked over to the next tree. Link and I played the song again, but nothing happened.
Tree after tree, we moved around, playing the Etude of Energy until I memorized it. And I had yet to see even one shred of evidence that there was a temple below the sand.
"This is ridiculous!" I whined. "There are like, a billion palm trees here, and one of them supposedly has a temple near it! We're never gonna find the temple at this rate!"
"But Doseki, what about Meli? Or, Chica, or whatever you're calling her?" Yumi asked. "We have to find her!"
"Oh come on Doseki, one more palm tree." Link said. "Then, we can take a break, all right?"
I shook my head. "Oh, fine."
Link led me to a palm tree directly across from what looked like a statue of a huge Pi symbol in the sand near the Spirit Temple.
"How come all THOSE temples are so easy to see, and we have to go looking for three hours for this one?" I whined.
"Oh, cut it out! You're starting to sound like me!" Link said.
We played the Etude of Energy one more time, and I sat and watched in amazement as nothing happened.
"Well, no temple here. Let's..."
Suddenly, I felt a tremor in the ground.

The sand started to shift, and what felt like an earthquake or my dad rolling down a hill began to toss Link and me around.
"Whoa!" Link cried. "Doseki, hold on to the tree!"
He didn't have to tell me twice! We both grabbed on to the trunk of the palm tree for dear life.
The sand began to move downwards, creating a huge sinkhole in the ground. I could feel myself being pulled downwards. "Whoa Link! I'm slipping!"
"Me too!" he yelled back.
The sand was moving faster and faster, and like a heavy stream of water, it was pulling at us, until finally, we were both holding on by only our fingers.
"Hold on Doseki! Whatever you do, don't let go!" Link called. "If you slip, you'll be sucked under the sand until you suffocate to death!"
"Oh, that makes me feel SO much better!" I groaned.
"Hey, does your dad like you using such sarcasm?" Link grumbled.
"I learned it from you!" I yelled.
"Boys, this isn't the time!" Yumi cried. "I'll see if I can stop you from slipping!"
"Get real Yumi, we weigh 150 pounds each!" Link and I shouted.
Link turned to say something to Yumi, but accidentally slipped.
"AAH!" he cried, as he began to sink into the sand and move in towards the sinkhole.
I quickly let go of the tree and grabbed Link's arm with my left hand.
"Hold on!" I yelled. "I'll save... YOUUUUUU!"
Too bad Link was so heavy and I was so weak in this body. Otherwise, it would have made a great movie sequence.
We both began drifting downwards towards the center of the sinkhole.
"Doseki, hold on!" he said. "Maybe I can reach my Longshot..."
He couldn't.
"Link... I'm sorry I was such a pain!" I yelled over the rumbling of the earth.
"I'm sorry I was so impatient!" Link screamed. "Goodbye, cruel world!"
"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" I cried.
I clutched my Little Giant sword and thought of everyone who would miss me. My Dad... My Mom, wherever she was... The other Gorons... Galaxy Girl...
"GOODBYE LIIIIIIIIIIIIII..."

CLUNK!

"OWWWW!" I moaned.
The rumbling had stopped. I looked up towards the top of the sinkhole. We weren't moving!
I looked behind us. A huge tan stone wall was stopping us.
I stood up and turned around. A stone fortress tower, about 6 by 6 feet and 10 feet tall had risen out of the sand at the bottom of the sinkhole. A small circular stone was sticking out of the side. A tornado was inscribed on the stone, and cut out door led inside the fortress.
"Wow, we're saved!" I cheered.
Link stood up. "Hey... Kinda small for the Energy Temple, don't ya think?"
"Oh well." I said. "At least we found it!"
"Well now... what say we enter?" Yumi asked.
"Sounds good." I said, wiping the sweat off my forehead. "It's too hot out here!"
"I doubt that an ancient temple will have air conditioning!" Link moaned.
"It will still be cooler inside!" I pointed out.

We stepped inside the fortress and were amazed to find... nothing.
"Well, interesting temple!" Link said, rolling his eyes.
"No, something's not right..." I said, scratching my head and looking around.
Yumi flew down near the floor. "Hey guys, this floor has a trap door in it!" she said.
"How do we spring it?" Link asked.
"Let me try something," I said. I sat down on the floor and curled up into a ball.
Link stared at me, then I stood up. "Oops, forgot. INNOCENCE MEDALLION, RETURN!"

~*~*~*~*POOF*~*~*~*~

I opened my eyes as a Goron and sat back down. "OK, THIS is what I wanted to do!"
I curled up into a ball, flung myself in the air, and slammed back down as hard as I could.
Nothing happened.
"Hmm..." I thought. "I wonder what's wrong..."
"Turn back into a person, I got an idea, but you need fingers!" Link said.
I did so.

~*~*~*~*POOF*~*~*~*~

"What?"
"OK, here. Take this bomb, light it with this match, and set it next to my bomb on the floor."
I took the heavy bomb and looked over it. "Hey, it says 'Fresh Homegrown On Death Mountain, Hyrule!'"
"I only buy Goron bombs," Link chuckled.
I set down the bomb, lit the match, and then Link and I ran out of the fortress.
A big BOOM sounded, and we ran inside to see the interior scorched, but no change in the surface of the floor.
"Well sheesh!" Link said. "The temple has to be around here SOMEWHERE!"
"What if we do this?" Yumi asked, smacking into a switch shaped like an eye on the wall above us.
The trap door clicked, and the floor beneath us disappeared.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-OOF!"

I sat up and rubbed my head. I had landed on my keys!
"OWWW! Enough falling, please!" I moaned.
"Doseki, get up!" Link cried.
"Why?" I asked. "I just fell really hard!"
"Just get up!" he said.
I stood up and looked up at the trap door. Link grabbed my shoulder and spun me around to face the room we had landed in.
"What the... WOW!"
The room was wide open and made of tan sandstone. Two doors sat on each side of the wide room, but that's not what caught my attention.
A gigantic, spinning sand tornado was spinning at the far end of the room. Three beams fed into it from below, and the tornado seemed to be blocking an exit out of the room on the south side.
"Wow!" I said. "How... how does the tornado keep going?"
"That doesn't look like it's been here a while..." Yumi said. "Look, the sand around the floor near it has just shifted. And if it had been spinning a while, all of these columns would have toppled over already from the force!"
"Thank you, Bill Nye, the Science Guy!" Link said sarcastically.
"Well, whoever... or whatever sucked Chica into the sand obviously used that tornado to create the whirlpool effect!" I said, having a rare second of genius.
"Right. So, in order to find where Chica went, we need to get inside that tornado!" Link said, charging at it.
"NO, YOU MORON!" Yumi shrieked, flying in his face.
"What?"
"That tornado must be moving at thousands of miles an hour! If you jump into it, you'll be crushed like a bug!"
"Then how did Chica get through?" he protested matter-of-factly.
"Link, THINK!" Yumi shouted. "When Dischord kidnapped GG, he obviously wanted her alive so he could brainwash her so she would protect him! If whatever or whoever it is wanted Chica or Meli to protect him or her or it, Chica or Meli would have to be ALIVE! Capiche?"
"Oh. I get it," he said. "So far, the minions have wanted the authors to serve them..."
"Let's see what's in those doors!" I yelled over the roaring of the tornado.
Link shrugged, and we ran to the right side of the room. The door was barred.
"Oh goody. A detour," Link moaned.
We ran back to the other side of the room. That door was open and ready to enter.
"Let's go!" Yumi said.

The room was small and circular, made with the same kind of stone as the other rooms. There were three doors in this room.
"They're all open. Which one do we go in?" I asked.
"Let's see... how about Door #1?" Link said.
He walked up, opened the door, and revealed a small dead end room filled up with giant, vicious, bloodthirsty, angry and provoked killer...
"Rabid Crayons?" Link said questioningly.
The giant red crayons point towards us and zoomed towards Link and the door.
"YIKES!" he screamed, and he slammed the door shut.
"Those are Rabid Crayons!" Yumi said.
"Gee, ya think?" Link said, holding the door.
"They're stronger than you'd think," she warned.
"Oh yeah Yumi, like a bunch of killer, evil, rabid crayons can 'scribble' through the door!" Link laughed.
Suddenly, the wall began to crumble, and a red crayon tip poked in through a large hole.
"AAAAAAAAGGGHHH!" Link screamed. He pushed up against the door to keep the killer art supplies from getting through, but he was forced to move around to dodge the surfacing crayon tips.
"Yumi, how do we kill them?" I shouted.
"I... I don't know!" she yelled. "I can't tell what their weak point is!"
"SOME FAIRY YOU ARE!" Link yelled, holding the door shut.
"Well let's think here, Mr. Smart Guy!" Yumi sneered. "They are CRAYONS! They are made of WAX! Heat and fire melts WAX!"
"Where are we gonna get fire or heat?" I cried. "I don't wanna be scribbled to death!"
"I can't cast Din's Fire or get to my Fire Arrows in time..." Link yelled.
"But I have a match!" I said.
"On the count of three, I'm going to let the door go..." Link warned. "And then, we run for the next door!"
"I'm not ready!" I wailed, stepping towards the 2nd door.
"1... 2... 3!" Link screamed as he backed away.
Seconds later, the Rabid Crayons breached through the door, just as Link was fumbling to open the 2nd door.
We turned around and watched as the killer crayons approached, growling and snarling and drooling all over.
"Link..." I whispered. "Sometime today with the door!"
"It's stuck!" he hissed.
The crayons got closer, cornering us in the doorway.
I pulled the unlit match out of my pocket and held it up threateningly. "Uh... nice... killer crayons?" I squeaked.
The crayons growled and bared their killer teeth, and just when I was sure they were chewing on my neck, I was grabbed from behind by my tunic and yanked through the door.

Link slammed the door shut, and we heard painful growls as the crayons smacked into the door.
"PHEW!" I said, watching as dents began to appear in the door. "That was pretty scary!" I tucked the match back in my pocket.
Link tapped my shoulder.
"What?" I asked.
"Turn around... slowly..." he gulped.
I turned around slowly, to find the three of us face to face with a group of about 10 tiny brown paper lunch bags, complete with fangs.
"Oh SH... eikah!" Link said quietly.
The paper bags growled and started heading for us. One at a time, they leaped in the air and started spitting ammo at us.
"What is that?" I yelled as I ducked to avoid a bullet.
"It's a Lunch Bag. DUH! They shoot really old rotten grapes at their enemies! But we should be able to get to the other side of the room before they kill us..."
One Lunch Bag jumped up and fired a grape at me. It was too late to duck!
I thought fast, and using the power of the Spiral Bracelet, I leaned backwards and watched as the grape and all of the Lunch Bags whizzed by over my head in slow motion in Matrix-esque fashion.
"TTTTTTTHHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT'SSSSSS IIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!" Link said in slow motion.
"What?" I asked in normal speed.
Time returned to normal and I stood up again.
"There's a switch over there! Maybe if we press it, we can get rid of all the Lunch Bags and Crayons!"
We quickly ran across the room, dodging sprays of grapes, and Link stomped on the switch hard.
A treasure chest rose out of the floor right next to us. A note was pasted to the top.
IN CASE OF KILLER SCHOOL SUPPLIES, OPEN!
I shrugged. It seemed like a good time to use it. Link pushed me out of the way threw the chest open.
Inside was a pair of lovely brand new flame-throwers.
I grabbed one, Link took the other, and together, we burned us up some Lunch Bags.
Three were left after the initial flame blast.
One of them jumped up in front of me and I blew it away.
I lifted the flame thrower, blew across the barrel, and said in my best Austrian accent, "Hasta La Vista, Bay-BEE!"
"LINK! DOSEKI! THE CRAYONS!" Yumi shrieked, as a single red crayon tore through the stone door like a knife through butter that had been sitting in Death Mountain Crater for an hour.
All ten crayons moved into the room threateningly. One charged at Link, and he pulled the trigger on the flame-thrower.
FWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH went the flame-thrower.
"AIEEEEEEK!" went the crayon.
"EWWWWWW!" went Doseki. Er, me. "It got evil red wax on my shoe!"
Link jumped away from me and took care of two more crayons. I was feeling particularly tough, so I kicked one crayon, blasted another, then melted the one I had kicked.
"AAAAHAHAHAHAAA! EAT THIS, YOU CHEESE MONKEYS!" Yumi shrieked.
That author... er, fairy just kept getting weirder and weirder.

In what seemed like no time, there was one large puddle of red wax on the floor, and one large treasure chest emerging out of the floor in front of the flame-thrower chest.
"After you, my good man!" Link said, motioning to the chest.
I opened up the chest and pulled out what was inside.

LINK AND DOSEKI FOUND THE DUNGEON MAP! NOW THEY CAN USE IT AS A FIRE-STARTER IF THEY RUN INTO ANY MORE FLAMMABLE VILLAINS! UH... OOPS. I MEAN, NOW THEY CAN SEE ALL THE ROOMS IN THE DUNGEON. DOESN'T MEAN IT'LL BE ANY EASIER, BUT... HEY, WE CAN'T MAKE IT TOO EASY FOR THEM!

I stuffed the map in the pocket of my tunic, and we walked back out into the hallway. The third door was still unopened, and there was no other place to go.
"We'll try this one," Link said, pulling the door open.
We breathed a sigh of relief to find nothing behind the door.
"PHEW! No more evil things!" I said.
We stepped into the round room, and I noticed another door at the far end.
"Let's go!" Link said. "This looks like an easy... OW!"
"Easy OW?" Yumi repeated.
Link had run out into the room, and crashed into some sort of invisible wall.
"OWWW, my shoulder!" Link howled. "Hey, what's with this room?"
"All the walls are invisible!" I said, stepping slowly out into the room.
Hey Link, where's that little purple thingy you use?"
"The Lens of Truth? Right here," he said, pulling it out.
He clicked it on and peered through it, then pointed to the left. "This way... OK, now this way... and then this way... riiiight, and this way..."
Following him around many twists and turns, we finally reached the door.
"And now we just... BONK!"
When I tried to open the door, I smacked my hand into yet another invisible wall, this one blocking the door.
"D'OH!" Link screamed.
"Now what do we do?" asked Yumi.
"Do what any Goron would do: Bomb it!" I cried.
I grabbed a bomb out of Link's pack, and set it in front of the door.
"And... DUCK!"
We leaped away, the bomb exploded, and scorch marks appeared on the invisible door. (If you can imagine that...)
Link reached for the doorknob, and his hand bounced off. Apparently, the wall was still there.
"Dang!" I yelled. "Well, now what?"
"Hey Doseki, why don't you call up GG?" Yumi suggested.
"What could she do?" Link said.
I smacked him. "DUUUH! She's a superheroine! She's had to take down more than one wall in her life... maybe she can help us!"
I dug in my pack until I finally found the silvery blue Galaxy Medallion.
"Um... how do you work this thing?" I said.
"I don't know... uh... Gee... Well..." Link picked it up and examined it.
"Why don't you... no, uh... you should..." Yumi stared at the Medallion.
Suddenly, it began to glow the same blue as the Medallion itself. In surprise, I dropped the Medallion, and a blue beam of light projected up towards the ceiling. Seconds later, an image that looked like a TV screen appeared. It was GG! She was sitting in her living room, eating a bowl of macaroni and cheese.
"Uh... GG?" I said.
"BWAAA!" she shrieked, and turned towards us. She sighed, clutched her chest, and screamed "DON'T EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!"
"Sorry," I said sheepishly.
GG took a deep breath, set down the mac and cheese, and turned back to the screen.
"So... what's up with you guys? Didja need something?" she asked.
"Yeah, uh, we're in the Energy Temple, and we're stuck. There's a brick wall in the way of the door," Link explained.
"Ohhh... and you wanted to know what to do," she said. "I gotcha..."
"So what do we do?" I asked.
"Well, you just gotta..." Suddenly, she turned away from us. "NO! NO! NOT $22,000! YOU'RE BIDDING OVER! NOOOOOO!"
Link and Yumi raised their eyebrows.
"She's watching the Price is Right," I said.
GG turned back towards us. "Oh, sorry. Well, all you gotta do is apply enough force on the wall to break it!"
"And... HOW do we do that?" Link asked sarcastically. "I already tried a bomb."
GG thought for a minute. "Hey Doseki, you forgot to return my wand when you saw me!"
"Oh yeah. Sorry!" I shrugged.
"It's OK. But that's what you're going to have to do!" she said. "OK, listen to me. Take my wand out of your pocket, or wherever you have it, and point it at the wall."
I did so.
"Now, give me a min- SEE? I TOLD YOU TO GO WITH $15,000! NOW YOU'RE A WORHTLESS LOSER GOING HOME WITH NO PRIZES, WHILE YOUR OPPONENT EDNA TAKES HOME THAT SPEEDBOAT THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR YOU! GOOD ONE, REGGIE!"
She suddenly noticed that she had company, and turned around again. "Sorry. OK, just point the wand at the door, and give me a sec."
I held the wand in place, and I noticed the wand starting to glow.
Suddenly, I heard GG say quietly, "Acid Light... crumble with might!"
A blast of light aimed at the wall, and a steady beam of yellow light began to pump into the invisible wall.
Link gasped. "Wow, it's breaking it!"
Then, the wall burst into pieces and we felt invisible rubble touching our feet.
Galaxy Girl blinked, and opened her eyes again. "Did it work?"
"YEP!" I said. "Thank you SOOOO much!"
"No problem!" she said. "That's my job as an Author Sage! Anything else?"
"Uh... could you send me some cookies?" I asked.
She smiled. "We'll see. Nature Girl and I are going to the Renaissance Festival today, and we gotta meet Ocean Girl in the Turkey Legg Tent in fifteen minutes, so I gotta get going."
"OK, have fun! And bring me something!" I called.
"Thanks GG," Link smiled.
"If you need anything, just give me a ring! Ciao! GG has left the building!" she said, as the image disappeared.

Link reached down and wiggled the door handle.
"Ya know Link," I said. "I'm really proud of myself in this temple so far."
"Why is that?" he asked, opening the door and revealing a long ascending hallway.
We began walking up the stairs. "Well, we've seen lots of scary stuff in this temple, right? And I have to say, I wasn't as scared this time! Those Crayons and Bags were hardly scary at all!"
Link smiled. "Hey, good job! I'm proud of you!"
We reached the end of the hall, and found another door. Link reached to open it.
"A-HAAA!" I laughed. "NOTHING CAN FRIGHTEN THE LIKES OF DOSKEI MUSHA/LITTLE LINK OF THE GORONS: WARRIOR OF STONE AND GORON EXTRAORDINAIRE!" I struck a pose.
Link turned the handle and opened the door.
"Let's see what's in here for me not to be afraid... afraid...... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The door led out to a narrow platform suspended over a gigantic room. It was at least 500 feet tall, 200 feet wide, and there was no end in sight to the cliff that separated the next platform which was 100 feet away. A narrow plank bridge crossed the gap.
I could feel my legs turning to jello, and I sunk to the floor in a heap, burying my head in my arms. "I... can't..."
"Doseki, stand up!" Yumi said, buzzing in my ear.
"I... am NOT... good with heights..." I wailed. "Bad with water... but especially bad with heights..."
Link rolled his eyes. "Doseki, you live on a mountain!"
"I ROLL DOWN IT, I DON'T FALL OFF IT!" I screamed.
Link patted my head. "Come on, you gotta be brave!"
"Oh gee," I said sarcastically. "THE LAST TIME I HEARD SOMEONE SAY THAT, I NEARLY TUMBLED 300 FEET TO MY DEATH IN A RIVER!"
"Oh come on! That couldn't have been more than 299 feet!" Yumi yelled.
I sat up and crawled over to the edge. Then, I made the horrible mistake of looking down.
"AIEEEEEEEEEE!" I leaped up and raced back to the door. "Nu-uh! No way! No how! No way I am going over there!"
Link walked over. He put his arm around my shoulder.
"DON'T TOUCH ME, I'LL FAAAALL!" I squealed.
He jumped back. "Uh, OK... Doseki, just take a deep breath, calm down, and walk slowly right behind me."
"What if I slip?" I wailed.
"You won't slip, and if you do, I'll save you, OK?"
I sighed. "OK... but ONLY for Chica... And you have to SWEAR that if I slip, you will catch me..."
"I will!" he said. "Just do what I do."
He stepped out onto the plank, and took a few steps forward.
"Just like that!" he called.
"Looks easy..." I said. I stepped up to the plank, and stepped onto it.
"Don't look down!" Link said.
I closed my eyes, and took a few more steps forward. Then, I opened them.
"I'm doing it!" I cried. "I'm really facing my fear!"
Link just kept walking.
Finally, he reached the other side of the plank. He jumped up onto the platform. "See? It's simple!"
His boot scraped the side of the wood, and a piece snapped off with a creaking noise.
I was instantaneously reminded of the bridge incident, and the creaking of the wood just before it snapped.
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" I shrieked. "IT'S CRACKING! IT'S CRACKING!"
Link jumped back. "No! That was just me! Calm down! It's OK!"
My screaming startled me and threw off my balance. I started to wobble. "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
Link yelled and leaped off onto the plank. "DOSEKI GRAB HOLD!" he cried, putting out his hand.
I was too freaked out. I slipped, and prepared for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG fall, and then a big KER-SPLAT!

"DOSEKIIII! LITTLE LIIINK! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Link screamed.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-OW!"
Except, instead of a long fall and a big KER-SPLAT, I had a short fall and no KER-SPLAT.
I opened my eyes. Link stood on the plank about, three feet above me. I was lying down on something.
"Doseki! You're OK!" he cried.
I stood up very carefully. Link pulled out his Lens of Truth and looked down into the gap.
"Doseki! There is no gap! Just a three foot drop and more floor!"
I sighed, and stood up. "Link... That was the second scariest thing I ever did..."
He reached down and helped me up onto the platform.
I just kind of lay there for a while, and then sighed.
"I HATE SAVING THE WORLD!" I yelled.
"WOW! Doseki, you like... it looked like you were going to die!" Yumi cried.
"Oh, hush up Yumi!" I screamed.
"Feeling better?" Link asked.
"I need to lie down for a while..." I moaned.
Three seconds later, I stood up. "OK, we can go now."

Link opened up the next door and we descended the circular hallway. "I really, really hope there are no more cliffs..." I moaned.
"Me too!" Link said.
"And no more crayons." I added.
Suddenly, we heard a creak and a scratchy sound from the door we had just entered in.
I turned around. "Did you guys... hear something?"
"Yeah," Yumi said. "It sounded like a scratch..."
We slowly began walking faster and faster.
Scratch... scratch...
"BWAAAAA!" I shrieked. "RUN!"
The three of us sped to the door on the other side of the circular hall. "The door is stuck!" Link yelled, pounding it with his foot.
The scratching grew louder. Soon, we heard a demented little squeak.
"What is it?" I gasped. "Is it a snake? Is it a bat?"
"Don't be ridiculous!" Link said, rolling his eyes.
"IT'S A CRAYON, ISN'T IT?" I yelled.
"No, it's not a..."
A foot-long rabid crayon zoomed down the hallway, appeared in front of us, and turned to face us.
"Meow," it said.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Yumi stole the flame thrower out of my pocket. "TAKE THIS, YOU EVIL..."
"No, stop!" I cried. I kneeled down towards the tiny red rabid crayon and noticed a tag around its neck.
I picked up the tag and read it.
"George the Rabid Crayon. Property of Chica, Tofu Ninja."
"OH!" I said. "This is Chica... er, uh... yeah, Chica's pet crayon, George!"
George meowed, and rubbed against Link's leg.
"Great, a pet crayon. Now, could we please move along and open the door?" Link asked sweetly.
George stepped in between Link and the door and growled.
"Come on George, get out of the way!" Link said, pushing the crayon aside.
George mewed and jumped back in the way.
"Stupid crayon. Come on, you gotta get outta the way!"
I grabbed George and held him back. Link wriggled the handle until he finally opened the door.

The room beyond was large and round. There were three doors in this one too. Only, in the way of them, was a huge group of George's larger rabid family.
They growled maliciously, and charged.
I sighed, set George down on the floor, and faced Link. "Listen to the crayon. ALWAYS listen to the crayon."
Flame-throwers in hand, we faced wave after wave of evil crayons. Until there were only ten left.
Suddenly, I heard a click when I pulled my flame-thrower trigger.
"UH-OH!" I gulped. "I'm out of fuel!"
"Me too!" Link cried.
The crayons growled and moved forward. They were mean, vicious, and ready to eat...
Link pulled his bow out of his pocket, and pulled back to fire an arrow. But instead of a normal arrow, this one glowed red! He fired at a crayon, and it burst into flames.
"WHOA!" I cried. "That's awesome!"
Link quickly shot arrow after arrow at the approaching art supplies, and one by one they melted until only one was left.
He aimed at the first, and fired. The crayon jumped out of the way, then lunged at me, and latched onto my arm with its evil teeth.
"GAAAAAAAAAH! IT'S BITING MEEEE!" I squealed. "GETITOFF! GETITOFF!"
"Doseki, hold still!" Link cried. "I can't get it off if you're flailing like that!"
I waved my arms around and screamed. I could feel it biting me. "STOP IT! AAAGGGH!"
Link ran up to me and aimed an arrow right at my arm. "Hold still!"
"IT'S GONNA HIT MEEE!"
"HOLD STILL!"
"GETITOFF! GYAAAAAAA..."
BAM!
The arrow hit the crayon, and it melted to wax over my arm. The arrow dropped harmlessly to the floor.
George whimpered and hid behind me.
"PHEW!" I sighed. I could see teeth marks on my arm. "That really hurt!"
"I'm sorry," Link said. "If I hadn't missed, it wouldn't have bitten you."
Yumi flew up and landed on my arm. "Let's just hope it doesn't turn you into a were-crayon!"
I gulped. Yumi started laughing. "No, don't worry, they can't do that. The lunch-bags, though..."
A treasure chest appeared out of the floor. Link kicked it open.

LINK AND DOSKEI FOUND THE COMPASS! NOW THEY CAN SEE STUFF INSIDE THE DUNGEON. WELL I MEAN, THEY COULD SEE IT BEFORE, BUT NOW THEY CAN SEE IT ON THE MAP TOO. I THOUGHT YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTOOD THE CONCEPT! OH GOOD GRIEF, YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!

"Now which door?" I asked, rubbing my arm.
"Uh... Well, uh... let's try door #3 again. Last time that was right!" Link said.
He opened up the door, to see a small group of lunch bags.
"All riiight, I was wrong again,"
Using his Fire Arrows, he destroyed all five of them, and a chest rose out of the ground.
"Hmm, I wonder what's in this one?" I said. I opened it up, and pulled out a long, golden sticky kind of thing.

LINK AND DOSEKI FOUND THE ENERGY STAFF! THIS GOLDEN STICKY KIND OF THING IS A SPECIAL WEAPON THAT CAN SHOOT ENERGY BEAMS AND DO ENERGY TYPE STUFF. FUN, HUH? OH, AND IT BELONGS TO THE SAGE OF ENERGY, WHO I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'VE FIGURED OUT BY NOW, BUT HE/SHE WILL LET YOU BORROW IT FOR A BIT.

"Cool!" I said. "Too bad we don't get to keep it."
"Oh well, I have enough cool weapons," Link shrugged.
"I don't."
"OK, when we get back to a store, I'll buy you some more artillery."
I nodded. "OK, let's go try door #2."

Back in the big room, Link opened door #2.
"AHA!" he said. "Another staircase going down! I bet this one goes back to the tornado room!" he said.
We raced down the hall, George close behind, and found a door at the end.
"Let's see, where does this go..." Yumi said quietly.
The door swung open, and sure enough, we were back in the tornado room. This time, on the other side.
Yumi turned green and flew over to a small crystal on the ground. "Look! This is generating one of the beams that is feeding into the tornado! Maybe if you destroy the crystals, you can stop the tornado and get behind it!"
"Good idea," I said. "But break them with what?"
"The Energy Staff!" Link suggested. "We should try to shoot a beam at them!"
I pulled the long golden sticky type thing out of my pack, and pointed it at a crystal. "OK, now what?"
George meowed, and bumped the staff with his nose. Two halves clicked and rotated half way around once, then a lime green beam shot out of the sticky thing.
BANG!
The crystal disintegrated, and the beam stopped.
"COOL!" I said. "Come on, let's hurry!"
I clicked the staff and KERPLOWIE! Another crystal fell.
Now, only one more to go! Link and I ran around the other side and aimed at the crystal.
Suddenly, the tornado's force began to pick up. We could feel ourselves being pulled slowly towards the cyclone.
"WHOA!" I yelled. "We gotta hurry!"
BANG!
The final beam was interrupted, and slowly, the tornado sucked itself away.
Behind the tornado was a small staircase and a door that led to some unknown place.
"Well, we've got nowhere else to go," Link shrugged. "Let's go!"

Inside the door was a large square shaped room. And as in the last temple, there was a figure at the far end.
"Look!" I cried. "Who is that?"
George meowed, and let out a cry.
A pair of green malicious eyes glowed for a second, and we heard a chilling laugh. Then, the figure stepped into the light, and we saw (not to our surprise) that it was our old pal Chica.
Her Gerudo garb had disappeared, and been replaced by a lime green tank shirt with a pair of shorts. She held a black Energy Staff, identical to mine, but... well, black. She laughed, and soared into the air above us.
"Well!" she said. "Intruders in my master's temple... I'll have to take care of that!"
"CHICA!" I yelled. "WAKE UP! YOU'RE NOT EVIL! YOU'RE A VERY GOOD ANGST AUTHOR!"
Link shook his head. "That's not going to work!"
Chica giggled and her eyes flashed again. "You are fools to enter my lair! I will protect my master at any expense! MWEEEEEEEHEEHEEEHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"
Yumi flew toward her and turned yellow. "Obviously, this is Dark Chica. She's been brainwashed by some invisible force! To defeat her, you need to get her to hold still first!"
"Hold still?" I asked. "But she's just standing there!"
"Wait about three seconds," Yumi said.
Three seconds later, she began zooming around the room at top speed, bouncing off of walls and ceilings and laughing evilly.
"Oh."
She waved her Energy Staff, (Well, I THINK she did, she was moving pretty fast) and fired a black beam.
"Duck!" Link shouted, and we ducked.
It smashed into the wall behind us, and the wall completely disintegrated.
"Ouch," Yumi said. "Don't get hit, whatever you do!"
"How will we stop her?" Link asked, ducking another beam.
"Jeez, I don't know!" Yumi screamed. "What kind of weapons do you have?"
"I could SLOW her down!" I said, indicating the Spiral Bracelet on my right arm.
"You can TRY," Yumi said. "But she's going pretty fast!"
The bracelet flashed, and I saw she was moving slow enough to hit her, about the speed of a normal person running at their fastest.
"Well, that didn't seem to work!" I laughed.
"Let's try THIS!" Link said, loading an arrow onto his bow. He fired straight ahead of Dark Chica, and the arrow flashed blue. A sheet of ice appeared in front of her, and she attempted to skid to a halt.
Unfortunately, she crashed straight through the sheet, and the power of my bracelet wore off seconds later.
"DUCK!" I called, and we ducked again.
George whined, and zipped to the middle of the room, watching the evil version of his owner race by. He meowed, and suddenly, she stopped right there.
"What is George doing?" I said.
"I get it!" Yumi yelled. "He's distracting Chica so we can get her!"
Dark Chica stopped and moved slowly towards him. "What is this? A defective crayon warrior... You're too small to be a crayon warrior!"
"Get her!" Link screamed.
I clicked the staff, and fired a beam of energy straight at Chica. It hit her, and she flew backwards and crashed into the wall.
"OOF! You'll pay for that!" she cried. She waved her black Energy Staff around, and suddenly, George turned towards us and growled.
"Get them!" she screamed.
George raced at us, barking and growling.
"AAAH! GEORGE IS EVIL TOO!" I yelped.
Link pulled out an arrow, lit it on fire, and pointed it at George threateningly. "I'll cover the crayon, get her Doseki!"
Dark Chica remained floating where she had stopped. She was watching George and Link fighting intently, and she didn't see me come up behind her with the Energy Staff.
BANG!
POW!
She stood up from the floor, and looked at me angrily. Dark Chica snapped her fingers and George left Link immediately. He snapped in my face, and I swung the Energy Staff to scare him away.
WHOMP!
I hit George like a baseball, and he went flying straight for his mistress. He hit Dark Chica, and she was knocked back to the floor.
"YOU FOOL!" she cried. "You cannot defeat me!"
She aimed her Black Energy Staff right at me, and fired. I leaped out of the way, and a pile of rubble collapsed off the wall, trapping me in my place.
"GULP! Link, HELP!"
Dark Chica laughed. "Now there's no escape for you!"
"Oh, uh... yes there is!" I cried.
I hurled the Energy Staff as hard as I could to the left.
Link dove for it, caught it in mid-air, aimed at Dark Chica, and fired!
POW!
Dark Chica fell to the ground, holding her head in pain. "OY MY HEAD!"
"Get her Doseki!" he yelled.
Knowing what to do, I grabbed my Innocence medallion and let out a beam of yellowish orange light that held Dark Chica in place.
"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEEEEE!"
She gave a grunt and fell to the floor as the light faded.
A black chain on her right wrist crumbled to pieces.
"Chica?" Link said.
I saw a puff of smoke, heard Link coughing, and when I could see again, Chica was gone!

A treasure chest had been left in her place.
"Link, I know who the Sage is!" I cried.
"Yeah, yeah, don't we all?" Link chuckled. "Come on, hurry up. Open the chest and let's go!"
I tossed the chest open and...

(triumphant music)

LINK AND DOSEKI FOUND THE ENERGY KEY! IT'S A GOLD BOSS KEY WITH A TORNADO ON THE END. YOU GET IT AS A REWARD FOR DEFEATING DARK CHICA, THE HYPERACTIVE PERSON GIRL! IT OPENS THE DOOR TO THE LAIR OF HER MASTER THE EVIL... HEY WAIT, I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT!

Yumi gasped. "Look, George is gone too!"
Sure enough, the little red crayon had vanished.
"Come on, let's move it!" Link said.

Heading out the north exit, we saw a large locked door with a tornado shaped lock on it.
"Well, here goes nothing..." I gulped, opening the door.
We jumped through the doorway, looked around for the boss, and... saw nothing.
"Uh... where..."
"YUM YUM EAT'M UP!" I heard.
We looked and at the center of the huge rectangular room was a small paper bag with sharp teeth and red eyes.
"THAT'S the boss?" Link cried. Then he burst out laughing. "Woo, how tough! Boy, isn't the little lunch bag SCARY?"
The little lunch bag opened its mouth, gasped in a huge amount of air, and inflated itself into a huge, 12-foot tall giant, man-eating lunch bag.
"YUM YUM EAT'M UP!" it roared.
"Woo, how tough! Boy, isn't the BIG GIANT HUMUNGOUS MAN-EATING LUNCH BAG SCARY?" I yelled.
The lunchbag jumped into the air and growled.

EATEMUP: REEEEEEEALLY BIG REEEEEEEEALLY MEAN LUNCH BAG

Yumi turned yellow. "OK, this is EATEMUP. It's just like the little lunch bags, only really big with a couple layers of paper!"
The lunch bag opened its mouth and inhaled deeply. I heard a snap, and watched in horror as my Innocence Medallion flew off my neck and right into the lunch bag's gaping mouth.
"MY MEDALLION!" I screamed. "IT ATE MY MEDALLION!"
I frowned and pulled out my sword, running towards the lunch bag.
"DOSEKI, NOOOOO!" Link screamed. He could see where I was going. "YOU'LL BE KILLED!"
"IT ATE MY MEDALLION!" I shrieked. "I'm stuck in this body until I get it back! I don't wanna be a human forever!"
"Doseki, stop! We'll get it back!" he cried.
I faced the lunch bag and scowled at it. "You'll pay for that!" I yelled. I pulled out my sword and started tearing away at its paper.
EATEMUP growled and leaned down close to me. It inhaled, and I felt my feet lifting up off the floor.
"GAAH! TAKE THIS, YOU CREEP!" I yelled. I slashed at its face.
"GRRRRR!"
The lunch bag inhaled again, and I flew up into the air and into its huge cake hole.
"DOSEKI!" Link shrieked.

I landed with a grunt on the ground inside the huge brown paper stomach of the lunch bag. It was hot and horrible, and it stunk really bad.
I could see a little bit of light up at the top of the lunch bag. It opened and closed every couple of seconds.
What could I do? I need to find my medallion first.
It was pitch black. I felt around at the bottom of the bag, and finally, I felt the medallion on the ground. I picked it up and stuck the medallion back in my pocket.
Where was my sword? I dropped it when I fell...
I needed to do something! I could hear Link slashing his sword at the creature, and Yumi shrieking demands.
Suddenly, the lunch bag lurched, and I heard a grunt from Link. The lunch bag had overpowered him!
Now I really had to do something.
I remembered the match in my pocket... maybe I could set the bag on fire!
But what if it collapsed and I burned to death?
Oh boy... decision time, Doseki...
I finally decided that saving the world and getting a posthumous award was a chance I had to take. I took the match in my hand, scraped it on the bottom of my shoe, and held the lit match to the side of the bag.

FWOOOOOOOSH!
"GRRAAAGAGGRHRGGAGGRHHAGGHHHHAHGAGRGGRHGAHHAHHRHRGGAGHHHHHHHHHH..."
It was getting smoky!
OK, I made a mistake this time.
I shut my eyes and prepared for a very hot experience, when I felt a gust of air and an arm pulling me.
I opened my eyes.
I was lying in a pile of ashes, and Link was pulling me out of them.
"Oh Goddesses Doseki, say you're all right..."
"HACK! I'm all right, I'm all right..."
Yumi gasped. "Oh Doseki! You're OK! I'm SOOO HAPPY!"
I sat up. "Link, I did it! I really killed the evil lunch bag!"
Link nodded. "Yes, you did. But don't EVER do that again!"
"I did it all by myself!" I laughed.
A blue warp portal appeared near the ashes. We walked over, and I returned the Innocence Medallion to its place around my neck.
"If you don't mind," I said, holding my medallion up. "I've been waiting all day for this."

~*~*~*~*POOF*~*~*~*~

We stepped into the warp portal, and we gently lifted off the ground. We had completed another temple, but I was just happy to be a Goron again.

As we dropped into the Chamber of Sages, I heard a voice say...

**TWO TEMPLES DOWN, ONLY FOUR TO GO! GOOD JOB, YOU TWO!**

"Oh, Hi Destiny!" I said.

**HEY YOU GUYS, GLAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. IF YOU KEEP GOING AT THIS RATE, YOU'LL SAVE THE WORLD WITH A COUPLE DAYS TO SPARE!**

"So uh... nice to talk again, but we kinda need to get the medallion and get going," Link said.
A blue light appeared on our right, and we turned to see GG appearing in the Chamber. She was in her pajamas.
"Heyyyy, what's up with this?" she whined. "AACK!"
She snapped her fingers and was back in her normal clothes.
"Hey Destiny, could you please tell me next time you decide to pull me in here, so I can get dressed?"

**YEAH, SURE. OK BOYS, AND GG. TIME TO MEET THE AUTHOR SAGE OF ENERGY!**

A lime green light appear from the Sage's Seal next to GG, and Chica appeared from it, back to her normal, nice self.
"Hey, what the... HI!" she said cheerfully. "Hey Link, Little Link, er, Doseki! Thanks a ton for saving me,"
"No problem!" I said. "All in a day's work!"
Chica nodded. "Boy, being evil really kind of sucks. You know... I'm sorry I attacked you and tried to blow you off the face of the earth,"
"It's all right," Link said. "We know you couldn't help it."
"Hey, I'm a Sage now too. Dude, that is really cool. Thanks for that, too." Chica said.
"Is George OK?" Yumi asked.
"He's fine, resting at home. Oh, hey! I need that Energy Staff back now."
Galaxy Girl thought for a second. "Oh yeah, and LL, I'll be needing my wand back now, too."
I dug both of them out of my pocket, and handed the silver star to GG and the golden sticky type thing to Chica.
"Thank YOU!" they both said.
Chica took a small gold pen out of her pocket. "Here you go, this is a mini-pen version of my Energy Staff. It works the same, but it's smaller. I hope it helps you!"
"Thanks!" I said.
"OK, time to get down to business," Chica said. "This medallion represents all of my Energy Sage power. If you ever need help, just use it to call me. I'll be right with you! So, if you need ANYTHING, don't hesitate to call, 'K?"
"OK," I said.
"Sure," Link replied.
"YESSIREE!" Yumi yelled.
Chica raised an eyebrow. "Hey, isn't that Prin..."
GG nudged her.
"Oh, sorry. I remember now. OK, here's that medallion."
Chica held her hands in the air, and the lime green medallion tumbled down into Link's hands.

LINK GOT THE-

"Hey, no fair!" I whined.
He shrugged and took one hand off of it. I put my hand on it too.

LINK AND LL/DOSEKI GOT THE ENERGY MEDALLION! CHICA AWAKENS AS AN AUTHOR SAGE AND LETS YOU BORROW HER MEDALLION. USE IT LIKE THE OTHER MEDALLION TO GET IN TOUCH WITH CHICA IF YOU NEED HER HELP. WEEKENDS AND AFTER 8, BE SURE TO USE 1800-CHICA-HELP TO SAVE A LITTLE MAGIC. EHH, NEVERMIND.

**ALL RIGHTY THEN. YOU GUYS HAVE TRAVELED FROM THE MOUNTAINS TO THE WATERFALL TO THE DESERT TO FIND THE TEMPLES, AND NOW I REGRET TO INFORM YOU YOU'LL HAVE TO GO EVEN FARTHER TO FIND THE NEXT TEMPLE.**

"Awww..." Link and I whined.

**HERE'S YOUR NEXT CLUE. ONCE YOU FIND THE TEMPLE, SHEIK WILL TEACH YOU THE SONG YOU NEED TO GET INSIDE.

IT'S A GAME POPULAR
IN THE USA
IN THE HOME OF ANJU
AND KAFEI**

"Aw man, I don't wanna go all the way to Termina!" Link whined.
"Aw, get over it!" Chica snapped.
He stared at her and she blushed. "Uh, never mind."

**OK, THAT'S ALL MY CONTRACT REQUIRES ME TO DO FOR YOU. SO... CALL UP CHICA OR GALAXY GIRL IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, AND I'LL TALK TO YOU BOYS LATER, OK?**

"See ya later, Destiny!" I said cheerfully.
Chica nodded. "Thanks again, you two. Call me, OK? I mean that."
GG smiled. "Yeah, me too. Keep in touch, Boy-ez."
The warp portal's light shone up around us, and as we rose out of the portal and back to Hyrule, I heard Chica and GG having a nice chat.

"So... Is being a Sage fun?" Chica asked.
GG shrugged. "It's got its good points."
"Hmm. So... uh, you wanna go out for coffee?"
"The iced kind?"
"Yeah, that works. My treat?"
"OK!"
"All right... yeah, iced mocha is good...
"Reeeeal good..."
"Coffee... mmmmm..."
"I want some caffeine."
"Me too."
"Yes, caffeine is good."
"Reeeeal good..."



Two Sages down, and one more to go. But there's even more questions now. Who was the mysterious voice in the sand? Is it possible that Ganondorf is back and causing trouble AGAIN? And... where did Chica get all them Rabid Crayons?

Find out the answers to SOME of these questions next time in chapter eight...

BACK TO TERMINA

-or-

GET YER GROOVE ON, BOY-EEEEE!