Sage of Innocence Saga -or- Two Links and a Bunch of Authors
By Galaxy Girl

CHAPTER TEN: LAKE HYLIA LUNACY -or- AQUAPHOBIA

Disclaimer: GG owns this fic. She owns herself, Doseki, and the seven temples. Nintendo owns Zelda. They own Link, Little Link, and pretty much everything else. Other authors own themselves. All authors who appear in this fic are there in the most respected fashion, and should take no offense.


Hi everyone! It's me, LL again. Last chapter... well, last chapter was pretty weird. Link, Yumi and I went to Termina and explored the Dance Dance Revolution Temple, where we fought Dark Jigglypuff and a big evil cloud thing. Then, we awakened Jigglypuff, the Sage of DDR, and found our next temple clue.


"Ah, it's so nice to be home again!" I sighed, taking a deep breath and looking up at the Hylian sky. The sun had just risen, and it was a beautiful day.
We had to have been less than a mile away from the Hyrule/Termina border.
"No kidding," Link said. "I never want to go back to Termina for as long as I live..."
Yumi stood up from her place on my (Goron) shoulder. "So... where do you think the next temple could be, Link?"
"'Six age-old Zora pillars...' that sounds like Lake Hylia." Link said.
"Ooh! I've never been there!" I breathed. "What's a 'lake'?"
Link laughed and rolled his eyes. "The river dumps into one," he said. "You know what a river is!"
"Uh... I'm confused..." I said.
Link groaned and rolled his eyes. "Never mind, you'll learn when we get there."
"How long is it? Are we there yet?" I whined. "I'm hungry!"
Link patted Epona's nose, and pulled her reins over to the left. "Come on, girl. I would be riding you if this guy would just turn into a human already,"
"I told you, I want a break!" I whined again.
"I'm fine with that, as long as you'll turn into a human when I need you to,"
I shrugged. "OK, whatever."

After hours and hours of walking, I got so tired I decided to whine to Link until we could stop.
"Liiiiink, I'm tired! Let's stop!" I begged him.
"LL, it's only been 10 minutes since the last time you stopped."
"So?"
Yumi laughed. "Don't worry, LL, we're almost there!"
I sighed. "I wish I knew what a lake was. Then I might be a little more excited."
"You'll see," Link said. "Oh hey, there's the gates to the lake right up there!"

Iron gates lined both sides of the path, and there appeared to be no way to get in!
Link led me over to the right, where there was a tiny ladder tucked down against the wall.
"Can you climb ladders?" he asked.
"Oh, sure I can! Every Goron can... well, no."
"You can't climb a ladder?"
"Why do you think there are only ramps in Goron City?" I snapped.
"All right then, I'll climb, and then when I get up, I'll help you. All right?"
"Fine with me," I said.
I watched him go up the ladder, putting one foot up above the other one and then doing the same thing with his hands. I think I understood...
"All right LL, I'm up. Now, just reach up and I'll pull you up.
I reached. He was about a foot too high.
"How about turning into Doseki now?" Link suggested.
"No. I can do it!" I said. "I'm going to try and climb."
I stepped up to the ladder, and held on. Then I took my first step up.
"AGGGH! TOO HIGH! TOOO HIGH!" I wailed.
"LL, you're only six inches off the ground," Yumi giggled.
"I'M GONNA FALL AND DIEEEE!" I screamed. "TELL DADDY I LOVE HIM, LINK!"
Link rolled his eyes. "LL, you're only six inches off the ground. And you'll never get around the gates unless you climb, or turn into Doseki."
"That's not gonna work," Yumi yelled to him. "LL is afraid of heights no matter which body he's in."
"LEMME DOWN! LEMME DOWN! PLEASE!" I wailed. "I AM GOING TO FALL!"
Link rolled his eyes. "Come on, LL. You're being ridiculous."
I stifled another scream, and took another step up the ladder. "I CAN FEEL IT! THE ICY BREATH OF DOOM UPON MY NECK! AGGGGGH!"
"You're high enough for me to reach now, LL. Hold on,"
"HURRY! I'M FAAAAAAALLING!" I wailed.
Link sighed, reached down, and pulled me up to the top. He was wearing his weird golden gloves, and it seemed like I weighed 500 pounds less to him, I guess.
I panted and grabbed Link's leg in terror. "IT WAS SO HORRIBLE! I WAS GOING TO FALL... OH! I WAS GONNA FAAAAALL!"
Link rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm and pulled me up so I was standing.
"Come on, we still have to get down." Link said.
He led me to the edge of the ladder, and pointed at the ground. "Now, just jump."
My eyes almost popped out of my head. "WHAT?"
"JUMP!" Link said. "Like this!"
He stepped up to the edge, and leaped down. I peered over very carefully. He looked OK...
"Come on!" he yelled. "Let's get moving, only four days left now!"
"I need help!" I said feebly.
"Oh jeez, have Yumi help you."
"SHE CAN FLY!" I moaned. "That's no help!"
"That's true, Link." Yumi cut in.
I could hear Link's dejected (Again, thanks for the word, GG) sigh all the way from where I was. Very slowly, he took off the Golden Gauntlets and stuck them in his bag. He climbed back up the ladder, and stood next to me.
"OK, when I say 3, jump!" he said.
"I DON'T WANNA! HOLD MY HAAAAND!" I wailed. Then I started blubbering.
SMACK!
Yumi whapped me on the head. "Get a hold of yourself, man!"
"OK, OK... I'm OK now..." I sighed.
Link grabbed my arm. "OK, now 1... 2..."
"NOOOOO!" I screamed. I leaped into his arms.
"AAGGH! LL, YOU'RE TOO..."
Oops, I forgot. He took off the Golden Gauntlet things...

SPLAT!

"OUUUUCH! GET OFF, LL!" he whined, pushing me off.
"OH LINK! YOU SAVED MY LIFE AGAIN!" I wailed.
"Yeah, yeah..." he said. "Don't jump into my arms anymore, OK?"
Yumi flew down to join us. "THAT WAS SOOOOOO FUNNY!"
"Shut up, Yumi!" Link whined.

A little further along the path, I was trying to apologize to Link.
"I'm just a little afraid of heights, that's all," I said.
"It's all right, LL, I told you," he said. "I don't mind. You can be afraid of a few things."
"Yeah, I know," I said. "I AM afraid of a few things... heights, sometimes... but the one thing that I'm totally and completely afraid of is... WATER!"
Suddenly, Yumi gasped. "Look guys! There's the lake!"
We looked up to see a great, big, gigantic, large, deep, body of... WATER!
"Oh MAN!" I groaned. "I should have seen that coming!"

Link led me down to the surface of the water. I started to notice lots of things around the lake, like a huge building to the left of a small bridge, which led to an island... And to the left of that building were... HEY! SIX PILLARS!
Link splashed some water in his hat. "Woo, it's hot today. Hey, shouldn't Sheik be showing up anytime soon?"
"I already did," said a voice.
"BWAAAAA!" Link screamed. He jumped up, lost his balance, and fell into the lake.
"AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!" I laughed. "That was HILARIOUS! Good job, Sheik!"
Sheik was laughing too, but he helped Link out of the water.
He scowled at Sheik, wrung out his hat, and put it back on.
Sheik gave a bow. "Hello, guys. Long time no see."
Yumi's howling drowned him out. I reached over, and shushed her. "Come on Yumi, he's trying to say something."
"Thank you, LL." Sheik said. "OK... You have traveled very far already. You have gone past the mountains, into the desert, and even into one crazy video game... now, you will travel into the scariest place of all: Somewhere where ANYTHING can happen. Listen to this, the Rhapsody of Randomness..."
He pulled out the stringed-thing, and played the song.

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Link repeated the song on Ocarina, and I dug through his traveling bag until I found my drum. Then, I played it too.
Sheik put away the thing, and said, "Good. Now, you WOULD be ready to find the temple, but... the catch is, you have to wait until the moon is straight over head as you stand in the center of the pillars."
"AWW MAN! That means we have... 10 HOURS to kill!" Link whined.
"Sorry, I didn't make the rules," Sheik said, shrugging. "All right, I'll see you guys later, at the next temple. Ciao."
And then, he threw a marble-type thing and was gone.

"OK, we have 10 hours to spare." Link said. "So... what do you want to do?"
"Let's take a walk!" I suggested.
So, we started walking around, attempting to enjoy the lovely peace of the lake. But unfortunately, a couple of authors I hadn't noticed before were making things tough for us.
Link led me over towards the bridge, and suddenly, a girl in a lab coat pushed past us.
"EXCUSE ME! COMING THROUGH!" she said, as she cradled a small vial of blue lake water in her arms.
"That's Stacie Hawking," I said to Link.
"Um, pardon me, where are you going?" he asked her retreating self.
"No time! I have a very important experiment I'm right in the middle of with my master!" Stacie Hawking said, rushing into the building.
"This could be trouble," Link said. "And we have time, let's go."

Entering the building, which was actually a small laboratory, we saw Stacie presenting the vial to a strange little man with a funny hat.
"Here you are, master," she said.
"Hey, is that you again? I told you, I'm not your master!" the little man said.
"Yes you are! You are the incredibly famous scientist, Dr. Lakeside, and I am your humble apprentice!"
"I don't have an apprentice!" Dr. Lakeside whined. "OK, well I did, but she has her own potion shop now!"
"Oh master, you must be getting senile in your old age."
Dr. Lakeside rolled his huge eyes, and took the vial. "Thanks anyway for the vial, I needed one."
He opened the vial and dropped a few compounds into it until it turned red, and Stacie slunk over to the corner to perform her own experiments.
We were just on our way out, when we heard Dr. Lakeside say, "Hey you, Girl-Who's-Not-My-Apprentice, come over here. I need you to hold this for me."
She ran over, and Link opened up the door to leave.
"Now, I'll just drip this in..."
KABOOOM!
Smoke filled the lab, and Link pushed me outside. "Bleah! Let's get some fresh air,"

Outside, we looked around some more.
"OK, I am about, really sick of it here." I said. "It's boring! We need to do something entertaining!"
Link took a few steps in a circle. "I don't think there is that much more to do here, LL."
Suddenly, we heard two voices screaming at each other from an area near a small garden to the east of the lab.
"No! I am!"
"I am!"
"I am!"
"I AM!"
"What on earth..." Yumi started.
"What's going on over there, Link?" I asked.
"Let's go see," he said.
We walked over the hill near the garden, and saw something weird.
A tall Zora girl was arguing with a normal person. Actually, I recognized that person as the author Myst.
"I AM!" screamed the Zora.
"I AM!" screamed Myst.
"What are you guys doing?" Link yelled.
The Zora girl turned our way, and she gasped. "LINKY-POO!"
Suddenly, Link's eyes widened in horror. "OH SH--! It's..."
Myst turned our way, and howled out, "LINKY-POO!"
Both of them came running over to us. Link started to back away slowly.
"Hi Link! I haven't seen you in FOREVER!" said the Zora girl.
"Oh, uh... Hi, Ruto..." Link said, with a look of absolute horror on his face.
Ruto? Oh yeah, THAT Ruto. Daddy always talked about her. And I had met her a few times before. I wonder why I didn't recognize a Sage... Oh yeah, all them Zoras look alike.
Unlike the GORONS!

Ruto looked at me curiously. "Oh, is that DARUNIA'S SON? He's adorable! I haven't seen you in FOREVER, you adorable little thing!"
"Um, LL." I said.
"Oh yeah, LL." Ruto said, nodding.
"Oh yeah, LL!" Myst repeated.
Ruto groaned and grabbed Link by the shoulder. "Link, you gotta help me! This psycho person ran up to me earlier, claiming that she was Ruto, Princess of the proud Zoras! So, I got really mad, and we got into a fight!"
"You got into a fight because someone claimed she was you?" Link said, raising an eyebrow.
"You have to make her leave me alone!" Ruto said. "It's the least you could do!"
"It's the LEAST you could do!" Myst said.
Link gave a whistle, and sighed. Then he turned to Myst.
"Oh Ruto, it's been so long since I last saw you."
"RAAAAAAAAAAALLY, IT HAS!" Myst said, delighted that someone was finally playing along with her game.
"Say, Ruto... I saw a great big, tasty loach swimming around here... why don't you go after it, and maybe I'll fix it up for dinner. Just for the two of us..."
Ruto threw a look of insane jealousy, and Myst giggled and ran over to the lake, diving in, Zora-style.
She attempted to swish through the water like a Zora, but unfortunately, when you're not a Zora, it just doesn't happen.
Ruto grinned and threw her arms around Link, who gagged. "Oh THANK YOU, you wonderful, beautiful Hylian!"
"Ruto, uh... before you say anything..."
"Oh Link, don't worry. I'm over you, that way. Remember, I'm the Water Sage, and I can't go and get married to the Hero of Time, remember?"
Link sighed. "OK, thanks. Say, Ruto, have you noticed anything... WEIRD going on at Zora's Domain or Lake Hylia lately?"
Ruto scratched her (blue, scaly) chin and then looked up. "Well, actually, yes. All these crazy Hylian-looking people have showed up in Zora's Domain, trying to swim around, and we've already had to rescue like, 5 of them cause they couldn't swim... So I came here to relax for a while, and what do you think happens? Some psycho who thinks she's me, and some gal with a bubble following her..."
Link kind of nervously laughed, and then his eyebrow went up again. "Hey, you said... 'some gal with a bubble following her...' who would that be?"
Ruto shrugged. "She's around here somewhere. Hey Link, do you know why all these weird people are showing up?"
"I do," I said. "Some evil guy who we don't know started a virus that brought all of the authors from Fan Fiction.Net here, and erased their memories. Now they all think they belong in Hyrule, and if we don't find three more Author Sages by Saturday in four days, time will screw itself up, and Link will turn 10 again."
"He's right," Link said. "If we don't stop it, we'll be forced to relive seven years of our lives over and over again."
Ruto's eyes nearly popped out. "Oh my dear fat daddy! That's like... WEIRD!"
"You think that's weird, watch this!" Link said, tapping my shoulder.
I held up my medallion. "Innocence Medallion, Transform!"

~*~*~*~*POOF*~*~*~*~

Ruto's eyes DID pop out this time. "WOW!"
I straightened a wrinkle in my tunic, and held out my hands like a Barker Beauty. "Meet the other me, Doseki Musha. I... LL, that is, am the Sage of Innocence!"
Ruto grinned. "Wow, you're pretty cute as that Doseki guy, LL..."
I retched. "AGH! Ruto, I'm only 14!"
"Oh yeah, and I'm 20..." Ruto said. "Sorry LL, I don't think my dad would like me dating other races..."
Link almost laughed.
Ruto nodded. "Hello from the Sage of Water. Is there anything I can do to help?"
"If you see any other weird people around here, tell us, please!" Link said.
"All right... Hey guys, let's go for a walk," Ruto suggested. "Maybe we'll find that girl then."

A COUPLE HOURS LATER...

"... And that's where my mom met my daddy, and that's where we Zoras go to lay our eggs every year..."
Link yawned. "That's fascinating, Ruto. But when I asked you to show us around, I was hoping you'd tell us about the pillars, or the temple that's around here."
"OK," she said. We were out on the island at the center of the lake, and the sun was about an hour from going down.
Ruto pointed at the pillars all the way across the lake, where Link and I would play the Rhapsody of Randomness to open the next temple, wherever it was. "Those pillars were built ages ago, and if you follow the path they create straight across the lake, you'll find the Water Temple, which is the temple I guard as the Water Sage."
"Not that temple. The other one!" Link whined.
"Don't be so rude, Link!" Yumi yelled.
"Oh... There was a rumor about another temple somewhere around here that was connected to the Water Temple some way..." Ruto said, as if to herself.
"Do you see anyone around here?" I whispered to Link.
"Nope. Just keep looking," he said.
Suddenly, I heard voices arguing from the shore of the lake.
"Zel, come on! Quit playing around! Don't you need to get back home?"
"You silly bubble, whoever you are! I AM home!"
I spun around, and saw a girl at the far end of the lakeshore. She had long brownish hair, and blue eyes, and she was wearing a... tattered sailor outfit?
Hey wait, I knew her! It was Sailor Zel!
But who was the bubble?

"Link, look!" I yelled.
Yumi, Ruto, and Link turned around to see Sailor Zel arguing with the bubble.
"There she is!" Ruto cried. "That's the crazy girl!"
"We have to go talk to her!" Link said. "Ruto, could we be... alone with her for a bit?"
"Oh, I understand..." she said. "Saving the world and all..."
Suddenly, she did something totally strange and unpredictable.
She grabbed Link's shoulders, held his head in her hands, and gave him a big, fat kiss on the lips!
Link screamed even though his mouth was covered up, and Yumi and I gasped, and turned around to avoid watching it.
Ruto's eyes were closed, and she seemed to be enjoying it.
Link was screaming and gagging.
"...MWAAAAA!" Ruto said, finishing the kiss.
Link's eyes were popped out, and he screamed. "AAGGH, RUTO! WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?"
"Oh, sorry Link... Eh heh heh... force of habit!" she giggled. "I'd better be going now... Good bye! Bye Doseki, or LL, or both of you! Good luck!"
And she dove into the lake and shot off towards the Zora shortcut.

Link screamed again, and started spitting all over. Then, he ran over to the side of the island near the lake, hung his head over the ledge, and... well, he threw up.
Yumi and I sat there silently for a minute, listening to Link screaming and gag and retch and say, "Oh the humanity! Oh Great Deku Tree, say she didn't just..."
Finally, when he seemed done, I walked over to him, and said quietly, "Are you OK?"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" he wailed. "WAAAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAAA!"
"Link, what was she doing?" I asked him. "What did she do? It looked like torture!"
He gagged. "Well, with anyone else, it would be sorta fun... but with Ruto, it IS TORTURE!"
And then he burst out crying.
"Pull yourself together!" I cried. "It was just a little kiss!"
"HER TONGUE TOUCHED MY UVULA!" he wailed.
"UGGH!" Yumi gagged.
"What's an uvula?" I asked.
He wailed again, and rolled over, facing the sky, staring, and crying.
I decided that now was not the best time to bring up the fact that Sailor Zel was across the lake, and that she may have some information about the next temple or another author that might be the Sage. Or the fact that he had just made out with a big fish.
After what seemed like a long time, he sat up, blew his nose on his sleeve, and cleared his throat.
"OK... I'm all right now..."

The sky was darkening, not only from the sunset, but from dark clouds that kept moving in from nowhere. The wind was starting to blow a little harder.
As we rushed across the bridge, we could hear Zel arguing with the little bubble.
"You are Sailor Zel, the Guardian of Randomness!"
"I am Umi, and I'm the assistant to Bob the Fishing Pond Guy!"
"Come on Zel, you have to remember! Don't you remember me?"
"I swear, I've never seen you before," Zel said. "You must be mistaken."
"Don't be stupid, Zel! You know me! It's me, your faithful sidekick, Morpha!"
Link nodded. "I know him. He used to be in control of the Water Temple down there."
"He's not very scary!" I commented.
"Eh, well, I did almost kill him," Link said.
As we approached them, the bubble (Morpha) turned towards us, and gasped.
"AACK! IT'S HIM!" he said. "You're on your own Zel, see ya."
He disappeared.
Zel turned towards us too. "Oh, hello!" she said. "How are you today?"
"We're... OK." I said. "Who are you?"
"Name's Umi. I'm working over at the fishing guy's place."
"Hi Umi, I'm Doseki!" I said.
"And I'm Link. This is Yumi," Link said.
"Nice to meet you," she said. "Hey, do you guys know who that goofy bubble was? He was so sure he knew me, but I've never seen him before!"
"Nope, never seen him either," I said coolly.
Zel nodded. "Well... um, I'd better be getting back to work. The fishing guy said it looks like there may be a storm tonight."
"Oh. OK..." Link said.
She turned to leave, but Link quickly brought her back into conversation. "Um... yeah... so... how are you?"
"I'm fine," she said. "How are you?"
"I'm good." Link said. "Are you good Doseki?"
"Yeah, I'm good."
"Me too," Yumi added.
This had to be the most boring conversation ever.

Zel began to admire the pillars that we were standing by. "These are such pretty pillars. Look at all the designs on them! Those Zoras have such an interesting culture!"
"I like Gorons, myself." I said smugly.
"Ah, they're cute." Zel replied.
"Uh, listen, Zel... have you noticed anything strange going on lately?" Link asked her.
"No, not lately. Why?"
He shrugged. "I don't know..."
"Well, besides the bubble, I have noticed the lake water getting a bit more stormy lately."
The wind began to pick up, and the water started getting choppy.
I backed away from the lakeshore. "I hate storms..."
"Oh, I don't know. They're pretty cool sometimes," Zel said calmly.
Suddenly, a figure raced past us from the water headed toward the path away from the lake. It was Myst, soaking wet.
"Oh Linky-Poo, I couldn't catch the fish. I'm leaving! There's a storm coming in!" she said, and she raced off.
Zel watched her go, and raised her eyebrows. "Uh... you... know her?"
"Uh... heh heh, yeah. We were roommates in college," he said.
The wind was howling by now, and debris was blowing all over. Big waves started to wash up on the lake surface.
"I'd better be going now!" Zel screamed above the wind and water. "Wow, who would have guessed that storm could come in so quickly?"
She turned towards a small island with a building on it across the lake a little ways, and started running. "Bye guys!" she screamed.
"BYE Z- ER, UMI!" I cried.
"SEE YA LATER!" Link yelled.
Suddenly, I felt a tugging on my tunic. "DOSEKI! LINK! WAVE!" Yumi shrieked.
"Why, Yumi? We already said goodbye to her!" Link said.
"NOT THAT KIND OF WAVE!" Yumi cried. "I MEAN, WAAAAAVE!"

Turning towards the lake, we saw a gigantic wave, moving from across the lake slowly towards us...
"AAGGGGHHH!" Link screamed.
"DOUBLE AAGGGGHHH!" I screamed too.
We saw Zel shoot off running up higher away from the wave, and we decided it might be a good idea to do the same thing.
Link grabbed my arm and sped off, with Yumi close behind.
"GO! DOSEKI, RUN!" he yelled.
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE!" I yelled back.
We heard the wave crash up behind us, and a strong splash of mist whooshed against us from the aftermath of the wave.
We also heard a scream.
I tried to turn around to see who it was, but Link kept running.
"COME ON, DOSEKI! LET'S GO!" he yelled.
Another crash, and another whoosh, and suddenly, all was quiet.

The wind had stopped, the water was all nice and clear again, and the sun was just starting to disappear below the horizon.
"Hey, wait a sec!" Yumi said. "That's impossible! A storm can't just disappear like that!"
I agreed. It seemed pretty weird... but then again, compared to a Goron prince who turns into a Canadian teenager and a virus that could destroy time, it seemed pretty ordinary.
Link looked around confusedly. "Where... where did the clouds go? And where did the scream come from?"
I looked around too. "Hey, where's Zel?" I cried.
Sure enough, there was no one else to be seen along the lakefront. Oh, except for Stacie Hawking and Dr. Lakeside, who, with charred clothes and smoky faces, ran outside to yell about how the wave had messed up their experiment.
Yumi flew over to an object on the ground. "You guys, look!"
We raced over after her.
There, on the ground in a puddle of water, was a soaking wet tattered sailor headband.



Hey, YEAH! How can a storm disappear like that? Where did Zel go? Didn't Ruto say she was OVER Link? And there is still some confusion as to who exactly is responsible for all of this mess...

Stay tuned for the next chapter of SOIS:

RANSACK ON THE RANDOMNESS TEMPLE

-or-

THE REALLY, REALLY, RANDOM CHAPTER