BABY LOVE by Eggbert

Summary: how would Sirius and Remus cope with the joys of parenthood?

Rating: PG ish

Spoilers: For 'The Prisoner of Azkaban' and most of 'Azkaban's Lair'.

A/N. Despite every slashy hormone in my body trying to revolt, for the purposes of this story, Harry is married to Ginny. Takes place well after 'Wedding Bell Blues'.

Dedication: To Moonflower for starting the thread. I know it's not exactly what you had in mind, but what the heck..



Sirius Black surveyed his new husband through eyes that felt as if they'd been sandblasted. It was three o'clock in the morning. No //sane// person was awake at that time.

" It's your turn. " he croaked.

Remus groaned and tried to hide under the blankets until Sirius pulled them off and nudged him none-too-gently in the direction of the infernal racket that was emanating from what had once been Harry's old room.

As soon as Remus entered the room the row stopped.

" Little git" thought Sirius fondly and snuggled back down under the covers, trying to doze off again. Some time later he felt the bed dip as Remus crawled back in beside him. Sirius gave him a comforting hug.

" Never mind, Moony. Only another day to go. " He smothered his darling's heartfelt groan with a kiss.

" Why, " said Remus in an exhausted tone " Did I let you talk me into this? "

" Me? " replied Sirius in mock astonishment. " I thought it was your idea. "

" Remind me next time to say that we're emigrating. To Guatemala or somewhere."

It was lucky it was dark and Remus couldn't see Sirius's evil grin.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Harry and Ginny had had to leave the country for a month and who better to look after baby James than Harry's godfathers? Harry and Ginny were both Aurors and spent a lot of time apart. Sirius had been convinced that their baby had been conceived as a result of some pretty persuasive handwriting.

Sirius recalled being quite excited at the prospect.

" He's adorable. And he's only little. They don't do much except sleep at that age. We should take him."

Remus had agreed, muttering something about bonding.

The stage had been set. Harry and Ginny had arrived with enough equipment to cater for quads. James had been fast asleep in his Moses basket. The little one had a mop of coppery hair and his father's eyes.

" He's such a good baby. " Harry had reassured the prospective babysitters. " Isn't he, Gin? "

" He's lovely. Mum says we don't know we've got him. Now, you know where we'll be if there's any problems. Don't hesitate to owl my Mum if you think you can't cope. "

Sirius had laughed heartily.

" We'll be fine. If I can cope with Dementors and Death Eaters I'm sure I can cope with a three-month old baby. "

Three weeks later Sirius was beginning to regret his rash words.

James slept all right, but through the day. He delighted in waking them up at either end of their sleeping time leaving them both wrecked for the rest of the day.

Remus had been the first to change on of James's nappies. Sirius had nearly fainted at the stench.

" Dear God. " he had protested. " How can something that small produce something so disgusting? "

He was sure Remus had sniggered when James, delighted with the freedom, had peed copiously, hitting Sirius square in the eye.

They'd grown used to that, Sirius thought. Even he didn't need the clothes peg on his nose any more.

He had gone to chair a seminar about Azkaban at Hogwarts. He wondered why all the students were sniggering throughout until Dumbledore had enlightened him about the large patch of milky vomit on the back of his dress robes entirely due to trying to get James's wind up in a hurry that morning.

He had returned home in a foul mood that wasn't improved by the state of their cottage when he walked through the front door.

The dishes were unwashed, there was a pile of ironing in one corner to rival the North face of the Eiger and that wasn't dust on top of the furniture, it was approaching topsoil levels.

His angry diatribe was cut short by the scene that met him in the living room. Remus was sprawled on the couch fast asleep surrounded by toys and books with James on his chest. Remus's arm was round James in a protective gesture that brought a lump to Sirius's throat and James smiled in his sleep.

Security. That's what the little one was feeling. The same kind of security that Sirius felt every time Remus put his arms around him.

James woke up and gurgled as Sirius picked him up. Bright green eyes surveyed the tall black-haired man. He gave Sirius such a beautiful smile that Sirius felt his heart melt.

" You're only two feet long, you little so-and-so but you rule this house. " he said softly.

Remus had woken up then, muttering profuse apologies for having fallen asleep in the first place. He took James from Sirius in order to feed him and Sirius was touched by the smile on James's face.

He loves you for what you are, he thought. He doesn't see a monster.

Two days later the Potters returned to an ecstatic reunion with their baby.

" Did everything go all right? " asked Ginny anxiously.

" Just fine. " smiled Remus trying to stifle a yawn.

" Would you have him again? " asked Harry.

" Of course we would. " announced Sirius and Remus in tandem. Then they burst out laughing.

" What's so funny?" asked Harry.