Part 8
Outside the hospital Buffy Stopped and slumped against the wall- it was quite early in the morning and there were very few people around. She felt a presence come up behind her- one she had known for a long time.

"Buffy."

"Cordelia."

The pretty dark haired woman stood as tall and as regal as ever- even the loss of all of her possessions and being plunged in to poverty hadn't made her lose her edge. She didn't know why Cordelia was here, but it was likely to be something to do about Xander

"It's good to see you again- how's L.A."

"It's good, I'm working- with a vampire and a strange little Irish Guy but I'm getting by." She said stiffly, she had never forgiven Buffy for driving Xander away and had said so several times over the last fourteen months since Xander had left.

"Why are you here?"
"Angel asked me to do something for him, I had to come back to this dump to do it. Something Doyle saw said that I might be able to do something."

"Doyle?"

"The little Irish Guy I work with."

"Then your not here about..." she trailed off as she saw the look in Cordy's eyes.

"About what- to forgive you for driving him away- the only man who ever felt anything for me or I felt for them. Is that what you were going to say- slayer?"


After a few seconds of silence Willow had finally made her way to Buffy And saw Cordelia looking down at Buffy who had sunk to the floor.

"Cordelia?"

"Hello Willow. It's good to see you."

"How did you know that he was back, is that why you're here. I'll go and tell him. You are here about Xander right..."


"Whoa- babble girl, what are you talking about. Why would I be here about Xander I haven't seen him in over a year. I don't know where he is...." Cordy looked at Willow who had a huge smile on her face.

"He... he's back. Xander's back, he's alive."

"Yes he's in there. He's being kept in overnight but he's back." Cordy ran past the two girls and into the hospital. Buffy just sits on the grass outside the hospital. Willow sits next to her trying to comfort her.

"He only remembers the things I did to hurt him Wills, is it possible that that's all that his mind held after what happened of is there some part of the man I... I.." she trailed off.

"You love him don't you." A voice came from behind them, they turned around to see Gabrielle Harris walk towards them both. Her eyes had a combination of anger at the hurt of her best friend and the sadness that she couldn't help him or this young woman who obviously had feelings for him.

"Yes I do."

"When did you realise you loved him."

"He.." She sniffled "He saved me from an attack by a... a... lets just say a girl who didn't like me." She looked up at Gabrielle, "He looked at me with more feeling in his eyes than I had seen pointed at anyone. I realised soon after he left that was when I fell in love with him."

"I See..." She sighed, "He's one of the only men that ever saw me for who I was, he married me for the wrong reasons though, we were attracted to each other for a while and one day we just got married- I suppose it was when we all graduated..."

"He graduated that's great where from?" shrilled Willow, "He always did badly at school, if he graduated he must have done well."

"We're all Military recruits we all just got through a new type of boot camp- we were given training in military aspects as well as stuff in case we leave the military. Alex was the best of us- he did as much as we had done in four years in fourteen months. It was like he already knew it all- but according to his records he never had ROTC Training or anything else like that. But unfortunately we were all rejected from the army and so we ended up here on a free scholarship from the army"

With that Buffy and Willow looked at each other, they remembered Sgt Harris from Halloween it looks like the Sgt. Had Come back to see them. They thought about Graduation Day.

*If Xander had been there maybe less of the class would have died. *

*Only eight survivors
Buffy Summers
Willow Rosenberg
Daniel Osbourne
Cordelia Chase
Faith
Jonathan Levinson
Amy Madison
Shawn Ozman*

"It's just as well he came along when he did, he saved us all from a fight we were having. We had already lost our commander in the fight, he had his throat slashed and all of a sudden Alex wades in and hits the guys with pieces if wood right across the chest and head. In less than a minute we had them all subdued and that was when we found out he had lost his memory."


Inside the Hospital- Room 316

"Giles"

"Cordelia- why are you here is something wrong in L.A."

"It it true- is he here."

Giles sighed and removed his glasses, when he looked back up he had the biggest smile any of them had ever seen from him. Pure Joy eminated from his face.

"Yes he's here, Xander's in room 316- He might be asleep."

"IF the Geeks' asleep I'll jump on him to wake him up." Tears were pouring from her eyes, "He's back, the man I'm in love with is back" He was unashamedly sobbing now, Willow had just arrived back in and she walked up to Cordelia.

"Cordy..." The Brunette twirled round and hugged her Redheaded friend, the last year before Cordelia had left for L.A. They had become friends- both of them had lost the first man they had ever loved. Gradually, slowly but surely the two of them had changed each other. Willow had eneded up looking older and more feminine by the end of the year and cordy's grades and intellect had increased exponentially. It seemed they both had what was needed in them but it took a little bit of work to get it out.

"He's awake if you want to see him, but I have to warn you he's still got most of his memory missing. He may not remember you at all." Said John

"His memory's gone??"

"I'm afraid so although some of it has returned."

"I don't care I want to see my Xander again."

"Go right in then."
Cordelia ran right past them all into Xander's room. There he was laying back conflicting emotions rolling across his face. He heard her footsteps and as he opened his eyes he saw a brunette goddess- someone that had meant a lot to him, and someone who he could remember from his dreams. Her ong hair, full lips, curvaceous figure and regal bearing.

"Xan... Xander, is it really you."

"I'm, I..." A rush of pain ripped through him and he almost fell out of the bed- memories both good and bad, the valentines spell, the bugman, their trysts in the cupboards, there real love for each other.

"XANDDDEEERRR." She screamed and she ran to him, she barely caught him in time, he looked up at her and saw her eyes a pair that had haunted his dreams along with one other. *NO do not think of that she hurt you more than anyone else you remember this woman one who loves you and who you love the person who saw you for you.*

"Cordelia??" he whispered quizically.

The brunette jumped into his arms and kissed him, after a few seconds he responded deepening it. His memories were getting clearer about this young woman with him the times that they fought the times they made up the enjoyment of their banter over all those years

"Oh god Cordy, I remember you oh I've missed you."

"Xander you're back. Where have you been."

"Around, I'mwith those people out there we're kinda army rejects."

"Wow, I.. I've kinda started working for Angel now."


"Who's Angel?, Wait a minute he was my best mate wasn't he."

Cordelia's eyes widened at that.

"Xander, You are Sick, you didn't like him at all, he had more neuroses than Oedipus and had as much charisma in his body as any other had in their little finger.

"Oh THAT Angel. Why are you working for him you should be a model or an actress."

"I'm at UCLA, studying Fashion I'd like stuff to fall back on if my acting never goes anywhere- and It's kinda thanks to you that I'm doing so well." She said as she held onto him again shifting so she was enclosed in his arms again. Both of them felt right in that position, the two of them felt more secure than they had felt in a long time."


Buffy had never felt more insecure than she did now, she had found the man she loved more than anything and he had rejected her- she had never felt so far from anyone. She had had the chance a long time ago and had blown it for a brooding dark 'man'. She had let her adolescent feelings get in the way of her thoughts and had pushed away one of only two people that had ever seen her for who she was but had still stayed with her. She knew she was and had been a spoilt, stuck up, little bitch but had always assumed that her friends would stick by her- was she wrong or what.

Flashback:
Six months after Xander's disappearence

Buffy had not seen Willow or Oz or any of the others in a while, sure she saw them in class or at school but for all purposes it was just her and Faith. Maybe that's the way it should be just the slayers without any help from anyone, no-one to have to look after, no one to save from death, no-one to...

*to make you feel better when you need help.*
*to save you from overwhelming odds.*
*to love you for who you are no matter what.*


"Hey B."

"Hey Faith."

"Whoa you look bummed what's wrong with you."

"I miss my friends Faith, I pushed them and fought them and in the end it's just me on my own alone."

"Hey you still got me." Faith sat next to her, looking around she saw that redhead and that brunette that always seemed to be avoiding B. She decided to take action about this.

"I'll be back in a minute B I gotta do something."


"OK Faith"


As Faith disappeared she sat there alone and laid her head on her crossed arms, she listened to the music. Oz's Band the Dingoes were playing, she pulled her head up as they stopped and the resident DJ took over.

"Here's a piece of music for all those of you out there who have other halves you miss and for those of you who have found you soulmates.
The music started up and as it went on Buffy started to think of Xander more and more. The song personalised Xander completely and she again realised what she had lost and how again she had lost him.

"Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain
If I see you next to never
How can we say forever"

"Wherever you go Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you"

"I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy"

"Wherever you go Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you
I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance
Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy"

"Wherever you go Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you"


With the end of the song Buffy ran out of the bronze into the pouring rain and collapsed onto her knees outside sobbing,

"Oh god Xander, I'm so sorry. I want you back, I need you back." She sobbed harder and harder and collapsed unconcious on the ground. She never noticed Her best friends run after her out of the club and pull her into a doorway. She had no memory of Giles appearing a few minutes later and pulling her into his car and taking her home, no memory of the whole gang- Willow, Cordy, Faith, Oz, Amy, Jonathan, Giles and her mother crowding around in her room and in the front room of her house waiting to see if she woke up. In her dreams she reran everything he had done for her and a future she wished she could have with him after four days the dreams stopped and she finally woke up