By Nimmy
This one was inspired by the "dairylea saga" involving dufus_ and I. It's totally nuts, so don't even attempt to make sense of it! I'm sure you'll read it anyway... go ahead... if you dare...
Our little tale opens with Seph, Cloud and Aeris sitting on Seph's couch in
his humble little house in the promised land, watching Peak practise... Seph
reaches for another dairylea single, but...
Seph: AAAAAACK!
Aeris:
Wha-whats up??!
Seph: *sob* I'm out of dairylea...
Seris: So? Eat
somethin' else!
Cloud: Uh oh...
Seph:
.....what did you say?
Aeris: I-uh,... said eat somethin'
else...
Cloud: Now she's for it...
Seph: You snivelling little EGIT!! HOW
DARE YOU SUGGEST SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!!
Aeris: B-but, I...
Seph: SHUT
UP! Shut up! Do you want me to kill you again?! Cause yer goin' the right
way about it!!
*Aeris' nose wrinkles up and she starts to cry*
Cloud: Aww,
now look what you did Seph! You made Aeris upset... there there
aeris...
Seph: Shut yer hole ya little dufus!! *slices off two of Clouds
spikes with his masamune and re-sheathes it in the blink of an eye*
Vince:
*enters* Hello. Oh look, some slices of cheese... *bends to pick up what he
thought was cheese* What the- dear God, it's hair! eeuwwoo! *contorts his face
to a picture of disgust*
Cloud: *sob* My hair... *takes spikes from vincent
andcradles them like a dead pet*
Seph: Sod you lot! I'm gonna go get some
dairylea singles!! Come on, mother! *picks up a jenova tentacle from its
ornamental case and storms off*
Cloud: Good riddance!! *attempts to re-affix
his hair by licking it and pressing it on*
Vince: Seph, wait! You forgot your
wallet! *flies out of the window, following Seph*
Seph: Cheese strings... blah blah... strip cheese... bluhblu... Edam cheese...yogurt...*!! hey!! Wheres the dairylea singles!?! What kind of a store is this?!?
Vince: Huff....puff... Phew. finally caught up to you! You forgot your wallet!
Seph: What the hell do I need that for?!!
Vince: To buy the damn cheese!
Seph: I'm not paying for it! I'm just gonna take it! Who's gonna argue with me when I have this? *pats masamune* And Vince, please. It's called dairylea singlewraped processed cheese food slices, not "cheese"! *scofs at Vincent*
Vince: Err,...right...
Seph: OH MY GAWD!!!
Vince: Wh-what?! some evil horror lurking in the shadows?! *shades his eyes with his hand and looks around dramatically*
Seph: You don't half talk about yourself a lot. No, I meant the dairylea is over there!!
*Seph stampedes across the aisle to where the dairylea is, bowling over 7 grannies in the process*
Seph: Ooooh.....aaaah...*reaches out for the dairylea, when a scraggly old woman bats his hand away from it's destination*
S.O.W: Don't touch that dairylea!! It is a portal to a terrible, horrible place!!
Seph: *frowns and sulks* Don't you dare come between me and heavenly cheesiness!!
Vince: Seph, what's up?
Seph: This... this .. HEATHEN won't let me get the dairylea!! She's an evil psycho!! save me Vince!! *cringes away from the old woman, making the sign of the cross with 2 fingers*
Vince: *rolls his red eyes skyward* Seph, she's just an old woman...
Seph: *screams* Yeah!! an eeeeevil old woman!! *scrambles onto Vince's shoulders* Begone, evil one!!!
