Cold
By: Sammie
Warnings: Slight yuri action (Kagome + Kikyou), angst, probably OOC.
Notes: First Inuyasha fic! Kikyou + Kagome! Not that I like the couple, but I haven't seen it on ANYWHERE! Gah, but it really isn't Kagome + Kikyou romance…damn, I should write one, ne? *runs around like a chicken without a head…because that's what she is, speaking figuratively * I don't know why I wrote this…I haven't written anything in, like, forever, so please go easy on me! On with the FIC!
Kagome awoke.
It wasn't a normal kind of awakening. Not the kind in which you simply acknowledge that today was another day…nor was it the kind that brought fear into her heart. She knew both.
The black-haired girl sat up, shivering against the cold tugging of the breeze. Shippou rolled over in his sleep, mumbling something then returning to his light snoring. Nearby, Inuyasha's ears twitched and for a moment a distressed look crossed his face, but that left soon after.
Kagome…sensed something. Not a shikon shard, nor was it a demon. Both stirred a fluttering and heated sense of urgency in her heart.
This was peaceful. A peaceful calling, like how one could almost feel the breeze of the sea call one to touch the turquoise depths of the ocean. Peaceful, yet exciting. Stirring a restlessness that could only be quenched by obeying that call. Kagome shivered again. It was peaceful, but it was cold, sending shivers up and down her spine.
Maybe that was what it was. She could vaguely hear the waves crash against the seashell-speckled shore, white and blue in the midnight moon's glow. She could almost see it; taste the salt wind on her lips.
Carefully, so as not to disturb Shippou or Inuyasha, Kagome stood up and straightened out her skirt. She raised her head to the wind, feeling the cool breeze run its playful fingers through her hair, feeling its cold lips kiss her cheeks.
Without giving it a second thought, Kagome made her way to the ocean.
_
It wasn't a hard walk, if it was Kagome would have abandoned the idea altogether and gone back to bed. Part of her was screaming for her semi-warm blankets and even the hard ground in which she slept in.
But, as Kagome slipped off her shoes and dipped her feet into the little, chilly white-tipped waves of the sea, there was a certain completion that came with that action. Looking out into a vastness of the sea, she couldn't find where the sea ended and the sky began, it was all just an endless clarity that reflected light and beauty wherever she looked. Even the stars reflected off the water so that it was like she was sitting at the edge of a peaceful and cold galaxy.
A splash. That was all.
Not even a splash. A shifting of the tide, so slightly that it wasn't of natural force, but of an intrusion to the natural way the waves came into the shore and fled back to the sea.
Kagome looked up from teasing a whitewashed seashell with her feet, staring instead at the figure. A figure that appeared so clearly in front of her at first she was confused weather it was real, or a dream.
Kagome KNEW that person. That person was unmistakable. Regal, poised, perfect in a frighteningly similarity to Kagome herself.
"Kikyou…" Kagome murmured, putting a hand to her lips. Kagome wasn't quite sure what she felt then. She knew she should have felt fear…maybe even anger…but all that struck her…
Was cold.
It was a cold that didn't touch her skin or bones. It was a cold that tore through her heart, like an ice-made spiritual dagger tearing at her very being.
Kagome narrowed her eyes against the clear, moist sea breeze. Clothed in mystery, lit by sadness. Kikyou had forsaken her bow and arrows, her perfect hands clear but cupped over her chest, on her heart, as if that was the only thing preventing it from shattering into a billion pieces, washed away by time and the sea.
She stared with longing out to the sea, like how a rebel longs for adventure, a mother longs for her children or a lover for her mate. Sadness paled her flawless skin, her ebony-black hair whipping about in the breeze. Finally, her tears came. They weren't in sobs or gasps, they just dripped from her eyes and rolled down to her chin, flying away in the wind. Like the shards of the shikon no tama, seemingly beautiful and pure yet hiding deep and dark secrets, melting into one another.
Kagome gasped. She didn't mean to…but the sorrow that radiated from Kikyou had struck her deep in her heart.
Kikyou's tears somehow slowed as she turned around, dreamlike, and focused her eyes on Kagome.
Now the peaceful spell was slowly dwindling away, and then shattered like a faraway star. The poor schoolgirl was frightened so horribly, frozen not by the wind or the sea, but by fear. Her lungs barely pumped air into her aching muscles, her eyes grew considerably wider as Kikyou started approaching her.
Finally, they were so close. So close that their clothing brushed against each other in the breeze, so close that Kikyou could feel the warmth of Kagome's breath, and Kagome could feel the icy life that came from the dead priestess.
"Kagome…am I correct?" Kikyou asked, finally…her voice sad, but clear. Melodious, and perfect in every way.
Kagome barely managed a miniscule nod. Kikyou continued to stare at the girl rather blankly.
"Tell me, where is Inuyasha?" Kikyou whispered again.
Kagome finally gained enough courage to look into the eyes of her enemy. "Kikyou…uh…I mean…can't you just…Inuyasha loves you. Isn't that enough?"
Kikyou smiled. Kagome stood there, stock-still, as Kikyou smiled. It wasn't a menacing smile, nor was it marred by evil. It was just a smile, forged from sadness and determination. Kagome flinched as Kikyou reached a hand out, tucking a piece of wavy hair behind Kagome's ear and leaving her hand there, on Kagome's cheek.
Kagome opened her eyes, slowly this time. Kikyou's touch was gentle, pleasant. But cold, like ice…so horribly cold.
"Inuyasha…loves me?" She whispered, then managed a half-hearted laugh. "I suppose…in a way. Since he loves you…I suppose he can love me."
Kagome didn't know what to say as Kikyou went on, seemingly not to her, but yet words meant only for Kagome's ears.
"We are alike, you an I." Kikyou whispered, then trailed off, seemingly lost in her own thoughts.
Kagome narrowed her eyes, then finally found her voice. "We're not alike. Kikyou-sama. I…I'm barely anything…I have no poise, no grace, I'm not exceptionally beautiful…we're only alike in looks."
Kikyou refocused her eyes on the younger girl. "And you still speak to me…? I can kill you now, if I wished to." She ran her hand along Kagome's cheek, cupping the girl's face in her icy yet gentle grip, bringing her damp hand to mirror her other hand's actions. "We are alike in our spirit, in determination. We both love Inuyasha."
Kagome's eyes widened.
"And yet I wonder how long it will take you to realize it, Kagome." Kikyou sighed. "Don't waste time, like I did. I'm tired, Kagome. My soul has been brought to its limits, and I'm tired…of being sad, of hating, of lying to myself. I long for my life before I died, and I was supposed to have it…through you."
"Kikyou…" Kagome murmered, a warm tear sliding from her eye to land on Kikyou's soft, pale hand.
"But the ogress destroyed that when she separated my soul from yours…and yet you remain complete, while I wander aimlessly. I can assure you, Kagome. You are yourself now…and I am a lost soul in a fraud body."
"Kikyou-sama…" Kagome slowly put her hands over the cold ones that cupped her face. Kikyou's eyes widened a bit in shock.
"It has been so long since I've felt another's warmth." Kikyou murmured absentmindedly. "I came to say goodbye."
Kagome didn't quite know how to respond to this, so the young girl just continued to stare up at the priestess, admiration and pity shining in her big eyes.
"What will happen to you, Kikyou-sama?" Kagome managed to whisper.
"I only know the here and now." Kikyou admitted. "For once, even though I feel so cold, I am human."
Silence. Silence which was broken by Kikyou's tears, which screamed in their own quite way of fear.
"I give to you my blessings. Find the Shikon no Tama, complete it, and protect it with all your might. And Inuyasha…I finally know that Inuyasha will not forget me…because through you, he will remember…by remembering you."
Kagome thought she barely understood the priestess's logic, but it really was quite simple. A part of them, it wasn't Kagome or Kikyou, rested within her. A part that Inuyasha could love, weather it be in Kagome or Kikyou.
"As my one enemy and also my only friend." Kikyou whispered. "Aishiteru."
Kagome's eyes widened, her lips parted, a question on the tip of her tongue.
Kikyou leaned forward, pressing her icy lips against Kagome's. Kagome, in turn, was shocked beyond anything she'd ever felt before…
But suddenly something happened. Kagome was enveloped in a warmth that could only come from another person, another person's touch and embrace.
It wasn't a passionate kiss, not one that would mark them lovers for eternity. Nor was it a simple farewell…
In those few seconds, only then, did Kikyou become complete, and truly live again.
_
Kagome still stayed there, watching the still horizon. She still held her fingers to her lips, the memory of that night blurring in her mind, yet clear enough for her to replay it repeatedly.
"Goodbye, Kagome. Don't let your love turn into hatred, because as much as I have hated Inuyasha, I pray that you will love him thousand fold more." Kikyou whispered before fading into the ocean's mist. Kagome sensed her soul flare a brilliancy that couldn't be described in words, then a final peace. A peace and reassurance that Kikyou had left with her, that everything was going to be alright.
Kagome barely acknowledged it as Inuyasha stood beside her, trying to see what had already been lost so long ago. His rude comments and loud barks ignored to the point that he finally calmed down.
"Arigato, Kikyou-sama…" Kagome whispered.
"Kikyou!?" Inuyasha barked once again, but a second look at that serine look on Kagome's face taught him better. "Kikyou…" He murmered again, much softer and barely audible.
As the two turned their backs to the sunrise towards the camp, a warm breeze kissed their face and tugged at their hair, then slowly faded into the cool, crisp morning air.
