Shiny Firebolt

A filk by The Hermione Granger Fan Club to 'Greased Lightening' from the motion picture, Grease

Setting: Harry is examining his Firebolt in the company of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

HARRY (looking closely at Firebolt with the team bending over his shoulder): "Why, this broom is automatic-"

Everyone strikes a stupid pose except Harry, still looking at the broom.

HARRY: "Hydromatic-"

Katie Bell and Oliver Wood give each other weird looks, but strike stupid poses like everyone else.

HARRY: "It could even be quadromatic..."

The music grinds to halt. Alicia Spinnet raises her eyebrows at Harry.

ALICIA: "Quadromatic?"

HARRY (defensively): "Hey, why don't YOU try and come up with three words ending in 'atic'?"

ALICIA: "Sorry."

Music starts up again.

HARRY: "It might even be... A SHINY FIREBOLT!"

George Weasley is trying furiously not to crack up, but he manages to keep a relatively straight face.

HARRY, OLIVER, GEORGE AND FRED: "Go shiny Firebolt, racing past the other brooms!"

They look expectantly at Angelina, Alicia and Katie, who glance exasperatedly at each other- they can't believe they got roped into this.

ANGELINA, ALICIA AND KATIE (reluctantly): "Go go Firebolt, gooo shiny Firebolt!"

HARRY, OLIVER, GEORGE AND FRED: "Go shiny Firebolt, leaving them plenty of room!"

ANGELINA, ALICIA AND KATIE (snickering at the absurdly bad lyrics): "Go go Firebolt, gooo shiny Firebolt!"

HARRY, OLIVER, GEORGE AND FRED: "You are supreme, the chicks all scream-"

The Chasers look slightly offended at being referred to as 'the chicks' but sing half-heartedly.

ANGELINA, ALICIA AND KATIE: "GO SHINY FIREBOLT!"

The music ends and everyone stops striking stupid poses.

FRED: "I dunno about you lot, but that was the stupidest thing I've ever had to do. Exactly how much are we being paid?"

HARRY: "Nothing."

FRED (outraged): "NOTHING?"

HARRY: "You know these fanfic jobs. They pay peanuts! But, hey, we need the loose change between books."

FRED (muttering): "I'd take peanuts over nothing any day."

ANGELINA: "Yeah, I sympathise-"

OLIVER: "OH MY GOD!"

Everyone looks at him.

KATIE: "What, Oliver?"

OLIVER: "WE'RE LATE FOR PRACTICE! Come on team, let's go!"

The team exit.

Disclaimer: 'Greased Lightening' belongs to whoever wrote it and the Gryffindor Quidditch team (bless their little fanatical hearts, I do love 'em) belong to their creator, Joanne Rowling.