Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own characters and settings! This story is just something I made up while worshiping at my Biker Mice shrine and is for amusement only.
Setting: B and Ange have been staying with Charley and the bros for maybe three weeks.
Rated: R
Author's Notes: I adore feedback and would love it if you'd send me your opinions at wlnessman@home.com. Constructive criticism is welcome but flamers will be hunted down and fed to my cat.
The Blade and Angel Saga: Chapter Three
By Jcdracon
Copyright Jcdracon 2001 All Rights Reserved
The ticking of the clock in Charley's office and the pounding of the rain were the only sounds Throttle could hear as he paced back and forth in her darkened living room. Everyone else had long since gone home or gone to bed, saying that Blade would probably be back by morning. But Throttle wanted to be here when she got in, he wanted to be the one to tell her that disappearing for days on end with out a word was not what team players did.
At the sound of a motorcycle pulling into the garage he turned and headed for the door.
He glanced at the glowing face of the watch Charley had given him for Christmas as his irritation grew. Gods! It was three AM! What in the hells did she think she was doing? It wasn't enough that she'd just taken off for three days and worried them all sick then just called them from a pay phone only gods know where as though it was no big deal. Now she was going to wake the whole house too.
There was a click as the door was unlocked and opened, a shadowed form eased into the hallway closing the door softly behind it.
"Hello Blade." Throttle said quietly, flicking on the lights.
She stiffened before slowly turning to face him, squinting slightly as her eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness. "Sneaking up on people in the dark huh, never figured you for the type."
"Well I guess there's a lot you didn't figure, like say, the fact that the rest of us might want to know where you are, that we might get worried when you pulled your little disappearing act."
"I can handle myself." She said and started to push past him.
"Don't think you can just walk away from this, we're not through here."
Throttle's fist closed around her arm as she moved anchoring her to the spot, she swung around tearing herself from his grasp and hissed at him "LOOK, Leader Boy when we're in battle I got no problem following you, but outside that you can just piss off! I've been taking care of myself for the past 21 years and the last thing I need is a FUCKING BABY SITTER!"
With that she whirled and stormed up the stairs, wrenching open the bathroom door and shutting it firmly behind her. Locking it and leaving an enraged Throttle staring after her.
"You shouldn't have yelled at her." A quiet voice from upstairs mentioned. Throttle looked up as Angel slowly descended the stairs.
"I didn't know you were still up."
"I wasn't until I heard her pull in, sonar like hearing can be a pain.
"Anyway, you shouldn't have yelled, sometimes she just needs space to brood. Truth is, I'm surprised she didn't bail long before this, she used to do it a lot back home."
"Ya know, sometimes I just don't get you. I mean she treats most of us with indifference at best, disappears without saying a word and in general makes herself a royal pain yet here you are, standing in the dark at three in the morning defending her."
"No, I don't suppose you would get it would you?" She sighed, finger combing her hair in an attempt to straighten it. "Look, I don't think either of us are gonna get any more sleep tonight so why don't you sit down and I'll try to explain."
Throttle started to protest, then shrugged, moved to the sofa and sat. He knew he wasn't gonna sleep after this and at least this way he'd finally get some answers. He hated not having all the answers.
"Okay, I guess I'll start by telling you how B and I met." Angel said, taking a seat in the chair beside him.
" It was about six weeks before the plutarkians nabbed us, I was running away from home, at the age of twelve and after living in the country most of my life I was still real nieve."
"You ran away from home?"
"Yeah, my stepfather didn't like me much, I think he hated having a rival for my mother's attention. Not that I was much of one, she was the type of person who needed a man around and what he said was law. So when he brought up sending me away to some boarding school we'd never heard of, Mama was all for it. I hated the idea of being so far from home, so much that with the logic of a twelve-year-old I decided to run away from it." She said with an ironic smile.
"I realized how stupid I had been the moment I got off the bus, I was wet, cold and hungry and to top it all off I had no place to stay. Looking back I must have looked like the perfect target for those guy's who grabbed me.
"There were three of them, I didn't really know what they were planning on doing to me until later, I just knew that whatever it was it wasn't good. And I remember they were laughing, and I was screaming and people were just walking by like they didn't notice. I don't remember ever feeling as helpless as I was then, even in the lab.
"And then Blade was there, and the guys weren't laughing anymore. I think that's about the only time I've ever seen her really, really angry, its not something I want to see again. Ever. I just sort of sat there shaking and watching her pound the living snot out of those guys and at the time I almost believed in guardian angels.
"And then she pulled me up of the ground, brushed me off and proceeded to give me one of the longest lectures of my life about how stupid it was to wander around alone in this part of the city at night and what had I been thinking, etc. All while dragging my back to the warehouse she was holed up in so she could convince Gun to take me in."
"Gun?"
"Yeah, didn't I tell you about him? He's Blade's brother. They're twins. They were the oldest of the seventeen of us there and were real tight. I think she misses him. They were sort of the older siblings we never had. Gun was out looking for food when they nabbed us, that's the only reason they didn't take him too."
"Okay, so she's been good to you, that doesn't mean she should shut the rest of us out. We'd be good to her if she'd let us."
"I know you would, you're all good people, but it's not that simple. Blade's had trouble trusting people for as long as I've known her. We don't talk about it but I think something happened to her before then, something really…bad." She shook her self slightly and stood up "Anyway that's all I wanted to say. Goodnight Throttle."
And with that she turned and headed back upstairs, leaving Throttle alone in the dark. Thinking.
Meanwhile:
Blade shut the bathroom door, locked it and turned on the shower, anger making her breath come in ragged, shallow gasps.
Turning the heat up as hot as she could stand it she stripped out of her damp clothing and looked in the mirror. Her hair was already wet because of her riding around without her helmet and was unatractavely plastered to her skull but other than that she looked great. Her body had filled out after all the meals she'd forced down her throat over the past few weeks but still remained supple and firm, giving her a body that would make most women green with envy. At least, the front of her would.
Pulling her hair over her shoulder and out of it's braid she turned so her back was to the mirror which was already fogging up with steam and looked at the jagged lines of scar tissue that covered her back from shoulders to hips. She smiled bitterly. Back there she was still ugly.
She stepped into the stall and sighed as the scalding water poured over her. Grabbing the soap and scrubbing hard she let her thoughts drift away into the comfortable numbness she favored.
When the water began to grow chilled she turned it off and got out, snagging a forest green robe and tying it around her waist as she went. She quickly gathered up her clothing and headed into the hallway, walking towards her room.
She paused briefly on her way, head cocked slightly to the side as she listened and grimaced. Angel was downstairs defending her honor. She only hoped Ange wouldn't say anything to damage her Ice Bitch image.
Silently, she entered her room, moving comfortably through the blackness until she reached the small, cheap bedside lamp on her dresser. She blinked as her eyes adjusted to the unfamiliar light flooding the small room. It was Spartan by anyone's standards, just a small single bed, banged up dresser and chair set and an empty closet. The dresser top, the floor, and the walls were all almost completely bare. If you didn't know any different you wouldn't be able to tell anyone lived there at all.
Kneeling by the side of the bed she reached under and pulled a small, plain notebook out from where she had taped it between the boards supporting the mattress. It was completely hidden unless you knew what to look for. The perfect spot.
Book in hand, she sat down at the desk, took out a pen and started to write.
To Whom It May Concern: (I guess that means you Ange)
So here it is, the middle of the night, (or the beginning of the morning depending on how you look at it) and I'm here trying to think of how to explain why I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do. Not excuse, excuses are for the weak, but I just wanna see if I can get you to understand why.
And now you're wondering why I'm writing this down in a book for you to find. You're asking yourself, Why couldn't I tell you about this shit to your face instead of keeping quiet about it before dragging myself out to some alley somewhere and blowing my brains out, or slashing my wrists, or whatever else I do.
The main reason I guess is this. I'm a fucking coward. I don't think I could stand having my shining armor tarnished, seeing the disappointment in your eyes, the pain, the disgust.
But please Angel, ya gotta understand this one thing before I go on, you had nothing to do with what happened. I'm a screwed up waste of space and that's it. These are my problems not yours.
See I know you Ange, and your wondering how I can be so calm, talking about killing myself. But see, that's something most people wouldn't get, cause the thing is I'm not scared of death. No, death an me, we're old buddies. It's life that scares me.
Cause life hurts. It hurts like a sonofabitch. And I'm not into pain. I just want the pain to stop! Why won't it stop hurting?
I sort of figured part of that out, see I never prepared myself for when we moved in here. Robin is a great person, but her first love is her job, any other relationships come second. It was easy to keep her at a distance.
But Charley and the guys, they're not like that, they all put each other first. Which is good for you, they'll be good friends to you and keep you away from emotional wrecks like me in the future. But its very, very bad for me, see good people like them are hard to guard against. If you let them to close they'll slip passed all your defenses and next thing you know they're under your skin. Like I said, very, very bad.
Most of the time I just feel cold, cold and empty. Like someone scooped the inside outta me and froze the shell. And if I let anyone but you close the ice'll melt and there'll be nothing left.
But it's hard; cause Modo and Charley are so genuinely nice. I don't know how to deal with nice people. And Vinnie has a great sense of humor and Throttle… well I like him. No, not like that, although I will admit I find him attractive, and smart, and funny, and one of the greatest people I've ever met and…DAMMIT! Dammit, Dammit, DAMMIT!!!
This wasn't supposed to happen. Not only do I have enough emotional baggage to crush three people but I have to fall for a guy who is completely devoted to his girlfriend. A girlfriend who is currently pressuring him to go back to mars. I've heard them fighting, (Super hearing strikes again) and from the way things are going something's gonna give.
I sure can pick um. But then I already knew that.
Yeah, I guess I shoulda seen this coming. I mean, after Torque any guy would be an improvement. Some times I'll just sit here in the dark staring at the dagger and wish he'd finished what he'd started.
I know you've seen the scars Ange, but I also know you'd never ask about em, you're good to me that way.
But the scars aren't the only flaws in me Ange. I haven't told you about the seizures, how my whole body just sort of knots up so I can't move, almost can't breathe. And then the shaking starts, I hate loosing control of my body like that.
I'm always cold. I said that already, but this time I mean it literally. I have three comforters on my bed and sometimes that's still not enough. And I take hot showers, lots of hot showers, two or three a day. My guess is that all this shit is some weird side affect of that new stuff they pumped into me right before we left.
And I'm not even starting on the dreams; I sound proofed this room so the screaming wouldn't bug anyone. But I've worked out a system; I work odd jobs, drink, party, and get in as many bar room brawls as possible. By the time I'm done I'm either to tired or to hammered to dream. Don't worry, I learned all about avoiding flying beer bottles from mom.
I never did tell you much about mom did I? Well, she OD'd when Gun and I were five and was I guess you could say part of the universe's oldest profession. Gun and I are the result of faulty birth control and the fact that she couldn't afford to get rid of us. Any money she had she drank, smoked, snorted or injected. People used to say I looked like her, lucky me.
But she doesn't matter, not any more. For as long as I can remember It's been just me and Gun and whoever we were hanging around with at the time.
Gods I miss him, sometimes I think he was the only one who ever really got me.
I know I've made you sad Ange, but if you're reading this note then I know that I did what I set out to do and brought the big cheese and Karbuncle down. As long as they still draw breathe so will I, our bros and sises will be avenged that I can promise. No matter what it takes.
And I wish I could think of the words to say what you mean to me. All I can say is this; I couldn't love you more if you were my own sister.
Ride Free Forever
Blade
The book was returned to its hiding place, and the light went out.
