Disclaimer : I don't own Sailor Moon

AN: This fic is based on Jessica Simpson's song,

"I think I'm in love with you" ^_^ I love this song!

It's so cute and sweet =9

E-mail me at emichan9@yahoo.com!

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A Love As Sweet As Sugar

by Artemis

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FIVE

I lay on my bed and stared out the window. The ticking

of the clock was the only sound I could hear. A slight

breeze would occasionaly blow my curtains around. I sighed.

I could feel my eyes were burning from the tears I had

shed since I had gotten home. I didn't want to eat or

talk or do anything. Just lay on my bed and think. I just

didn't know what to do. Why did he kiss me? I could still

remember the kiss so vividly. And it had been my first

kiss too. Wasn't the first kiss supposed to be special?

Something... something.. to be remembered? All I wanted to

do was forget he ever did anything.

"You're wrong shooting star," I whispered, my lips barely

moving. "I will never ever love that guy. Not in this

lifetime."

I rolled over, my back to the window. I had the whole of

the summer break to get over him. For real. No stupid

dreams of shooting star spirits with Mamoru were going

to change my mind. Even though somewhere, I still wanted

to try and see if Mamoru was a decent person, my mind

overrode that. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt slightly better

but not that fantastic. I had a cold shower to wake

myself up. I stood in front of the mirror and saw my

eyes were red. It was obvious I had been crying.

"Stupid! Why did I have to cry so much?" I sighed.

I just didn't have to leave the house, which was

convenient since I didn't want to go anywhere.

No one else seemed to be home. I found a note on the

kitchen table, saying that mum and dad had taken

Shingo golfing. Fun. I scrunched up the note and threw

it in the bin. I wandered around for a bit, wondering

what to do. Then, the door bell rang. I walked quietly

to the door and opened a small gap, enough for me to

see who was there. Mamoru..... I slammed the door shut

before he even opened his mouth. I leaned against the

door and I could feel my heart pounding nervously.

What was he doing here? I was glad dad wasn't home.

"Usagi?" he shouted. "I need to talk to you."

"Well I don't want to talk to you!" I shouted back.

"I don't want to shout at you. Please, open the door

so I can talk to you normally."

"You're not a normal person, you can't talk normally

let alone think like a sane person!"

"Look, I didn't mean to do what I did yesterday and I

can understand why you'd be angry, but will you please

listen to me?"

"I'm listening."

"I mean with the door open."

"No."

There was a silence. I pressed my ear against the door.

Nothing. I opened the door a little.

"I'm listening," I murmured.

Mamoru looked at me. I saw that he had a rose in his hand.

I wondered if it was for me. Was I stupid? Why would he

give me one?

"I'm sorry about yesterday," he told me quietly.

I didn't reply.

"This is for you," he smiled, holding the rose out.

I wanted to take it, but something told me not to.

I gulped.

"I don't want it," I told him.

He lowered his hand and just nodded. I felt cruel, but

what else was I supposed to do? Forgive him for doing

something horrible? No... I had to be mean to him.

"Is that all you came here for?" I asked coldly.

"Well, yes.." he nodded.

"Then bye."

I closed the door on him. I sighed and leaned against

the door. I heard something being placed near the door.

I didn't hear any footsteps so I waited. There was no

sound. Why did I have to accept anything from him?

I walked away from the door, angry at him for doing this

to me.

I sat down to watch TV, but I couldn't concentrate.

I wanted to know if he had left anything at the door.

It had been ten minutes. Would he still be there?

I tip toed to the door and heard no sounds outside.

He couldn't still be there.... I opened the door slowly,

then saw Mamoru. He was sitting there, then looked up.

"Hi," I mumbled.

I was half outside and half inside.

"Hi," he smiled.

He didn't look or act very threatening, so I walked

completely out of the house. He was holding something

in his hands. A small gift wrapped box. I looked at it

curiously. He noticed.

"I suppose I shouldn't even bother to ask you if you

want it," he smiled, teasing me a little.

I sat down next to him and didn't say anything. He took

my hand, then wrapped my fingers around the little box.

"I want you to have it anyway," he whispered. "You don't

have to keep it."

I looked at him, then at the little box. A silver ribbon

decorated the box, all curly and glossy.

"It's for me?" I asked, feeling stupid.

He nodded and smiled warmly. I blinked twice, then sighed.

"I don't want any presents. I just want to know why you..

why you... why..." I stammered.

"Why I kissed you yesterday?" he asked quietly.

I nodded.

"Well... I know it's not going to sound convincing after

I acted like such an idiot yesterday, but... I just..

I just wanted to kiss you. It's all because of this

strange dream I had a couple of days ago..." he tried

to explain to me.

"A dream?" I asked, puzzled.

"You were in it... And I don't remember much, but all

I remember is that you were there with this bright

glowy light and.... Ever since that, I've just noticed

you more and I just..."

"Can't get it out of your head?" I finished off the

sentence for him.

"Yes, that's it," he nodded.

"I know how you feel," I smiled a little, playing with

the ribbon on the box.

"Open it," he nodded towards the box.

"I don't want to... You're just being nice because you

feel bad. You don't have to do this. I'm just some

stupid girl," I mumbled. "It's probably something really

nice and then I'll feel so bad and you'll make me

forgive you.. And I can't do that.... I'm angry."

He looked a little disappointed.

"Why are you so angry? I know I shouldn't have done

what I did, but... I suppose I am being stupid trying

to make things better by just giving you things, but

I really don't know what else to do..." he sighed.

"Mamoru... san..." I murmured. "I've never ever been

or have kissed anyone until you. And I thought you were

just doing it because it was some sick joke.

I know you didn't mean anything by it, anyway."

He looked at me, his blue eyes troubled. He nodded slowly.

"So I can't open this," I whispered, handing the present

back to him.

Our hands touched and I felt my heart beat faster. He took

my hand and held it tight. His hand was warm and I felt

somehow comforted by his action.

"I forgot to tell you one thing," he whispered.

"What?" I gulped.

"About the dream... This voice told me that... That if you

ever came to me, I was supposed to have held you and

never let go. But I thought it was just some stupid dream

that didn't mean anything..."

I felt his hand squeeze mine tight.

"But I couldn't let you anywhere near me because I was

afraid... Afraid that.. That maybe I would want to have

you near me. And then I would be so lost in my desperate

need that I wouldn't be myself. I didn't like the idea of

not being in control. I guess I was just being selfish

and... I don't know..."

He looked at me, his eyes filled with pain, confusion

and helplessness. I didn't know what to do.

"No one's ever wanted to have anything to do with me..

They just accept that I'm not a nice person, and give up.

I thought that if that's the way people are, I don't need

them... But Motoki was different and well, so are you..."

I sat there and let him hold my hand. I told myself to

stay angry at him. This was just an act... I wanted to

believe him, but a little voice in my head told me it

was just something to make a fool out of me. A game with

a little 'kid'. Wasn't it?

"Mamoru san," I whispered. "What am I to you?"

He shook his head.

"I don't know.." he murmured. "But... I just know that

I wouldn't like it if I never saw you again..."

"There was no reason why you kissed me. I'm just something

for you to play with so you're empty life is filled.

The way you acted yesterday makes it hard for me to believe

in anything you've just said," I told him, biting my lip

to stop myself from crying.

I wanted to believe him, but how could I? How could I?

Mamoru let my hand go slowly. Then he suddenly hugged me.

I felt his hands stroke my hair. I tried to pull away, but

then I just gave in. I felt that it was right to be with him.

Something, something locked into place. What would happen if

I pushed him away now? I didn't know.

"I'm sorry," I whispered sadly. "I'm sorry, but I can't..."

I pushed him away and stood up. He looked at me. I couldn't

stand looking at him. I turned away to the door. I didn't

even know what I was doing. Even though it felt so right,

a part of me didn't believe him. Maybe.. I didn't want to

believe him? But why?

"You called me a 'kid'," I told him firmly. "And that's

exactly right. You're wasting your time with me. You're

just affected by a silly dream, just like I was. And now

I'm going to forget about it so I think you should too."

I hurried to the door.

"Wait a second, a dream?" Mamoru shouted. "What do you

mean, 'just like I was'!?"

I closed the door and ran to my room.

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TO BE CONTINUED

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