Darkness. Also why my rating is PG-13. One more chapter left. Can you make it? And I'm not gonna tell you what the translations are. I'll leave that up to your imaginations...
Oh god what have I done? 0.o;;
Chapter
Ten
In which there is a funeral and Aliet makes some decisions.
"Shietaor ie na-pa tzu.
Ora.
Eatusur des Paradio.
Dorro minaewa."
The funeral chant rolled easily off of five tongues. The 6 Council stood in a semi-circle around a blazing funeral pyre, their now-healthy poke'mon faithfully at their sides. Aliet stood before it, just inside the circle. She held Charmander in one arm, her walking stick clasped in the other, Charmeleon clung to her leg, burying her face in Aliet's thick robes. No emotion showed on the fire trainer's face. Her hazel eyes were fixated on the flames leaping up to consume the body of her first. She said nothing, nor had she moved since lighting the fire out of ceremonial duty. That was how things worked. The trainer or relative of the dead lit the pyre and stood before it the whole time. A lump rose in her throat... and she forced it down. Her eyes teared up. Frowning, she blinked them back into obscurity.
Blaine stepped forward, his cheeks glistening. It hurt him to see her like this. She had once been so vibrant, so lively, so young... Now it looked as if she had aged ten years. All light had vanished from her hazel eyes. It was as if she had become one of the ancient Fslami of legend; an emotionless void which only anger could pierce. Maybe that had been one of the reasons why the Fslami had died out... He couldn't believe that stupid emotion rule had dragged his most promising council member into it. "Are you ready for the rites?" he asked gently. This would be the hardest part for her.
"Yes, Council Lead," she muttered, eyes intent on the fire burning her poke'mon. "I am."
The rites. The council leader would speak a question, and the party would reply in a way that was meant to drive the dead from their mind. It never worked. "How was he killed?" Blaine began.
"Murder."
"Will you seek vengeance?"
There was a shaky sigh. "No, I cannot. Eatusur has done this for me."
"Do you deny that he his truly and forever gone from this plane?"
Her lip trembled. "No..." she whispered.
"Do you accept that he has passed on to Paradio?"
She almost cried. He could see that easily. "Y-yes..." the word was so soft it was hard to hear.
Blaine backed up into the circle. "You may have final words now," he told her. He hated how cold and distant his voice was. It was all customs... he hated it.
Aliet moved closer to the fire, almost brushing it with a fingertip. The poke'mon gave a long, eerie cry as she whispered in a language long dead. "Charizard, i set... sen... sen... sen edau slen. Lag't... lag't... lag't sen!" She fell to her knees. A tear the color of blood rolled down her cheek, hardening as she stared. It solidified, then fell to the ground. "Sen edau slen, Charizard i set... oravi sen edau..."
The fire blazed higher, fully devouring the body. Aliet covered her face, trying to hide the look of anguish. Ashes were channeled from the pyre, down to an urn made entirely of Firestone. Charmeleon lay her head against Aliet's shoulder, whimpering while Charmander stared confusedly at the flames. She held them both close as the fire took away all they had left of him.
They stayed there long after the fire had died to embers. Blaine and Magmar stayed as well, watching them. The stars had appeared over the courtyard, Eatusur's bridge winking down reassuringly on the Fslam. Aliet finally moved. She stood, moving towards the urn. Her long fingers brushed the side of it fondly. There was a sad grace in her movements. "Brad worked hard on it," Blaine called from the other side of the pyre.
"Brad?" she asked, scornfully. "Why?"
He joined her. "Even those from Pewter have hearts when they need to," he said with a shrug. "Plus he's the best stoneworker we've got." Blaine watched her pick up the urn, staring blankly at it. "Have Scott seal it whenever you wish."
"Yes," she murmured. Her shoulders hunched suddenly, her head bowing towards the ground. He could see how hard she was trying not to cry. With a sigh and creaking limbs, Blaine walked up to stand by her side. She lay her head on his shoulder, shaking with barely contained sobs.
"I'll have Scott loan you his Pidgeot so you can fly-"
"No!" she shouted. There was a look on her face that scared him, a glint in her eyes that shot fear into his heart. What was this? Aliet Eaton not wishing to fly?
"Oh," he said softly. "I'm sorry, 'Et..."
"I'll take the ferry back..." she murmured slowly. She looked up at him. "I need to go now." Aliet began to walk away, Charmander in one arm, the urn in the other. Charmeleon trudged behind them. "Thanks," she called over her shoulder.
Blaine stood beside Magmar for a long time after she'd left, watching the stars and thinking remorsefully to himself.
-You're WHAT!?- Charmeleon exploded. Fire roared at the back of her eyes, showing her anger better than her aggressive posture did.
Scyther took a step back, startled by the fire type's anger. It had been a month since her mate had died. A month since her trainer had gone into recluse, hiding in her room, not eating or speaking... just lying on her bed staring at a photograph. A month since... since she'd gotten a mate. And the side effect was only now becoming visible. She took a deep breath, leaning against the wall behind her. -You heard me,- she mumbled.
The fire type paced back and forth between Ivysaur and the bug. -How could you?- she snapped.
-It's not like she had a choice, Meleon,- Ivysaur told her.
Charmeleon spun on the grass type now. Flame licked the edges of her jaws as maddened rage threatened to boil over. -Yes she did!- the young fire type shrieked. -She did too!-
A blade separated the two. -We never thought it would work,- Scyther growled. -If we had, we wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have let him.-
This statement seemed to calm Charmeleon. Neither Scyther nor Ivysaur fully understood the reason for her rage. The bug had taken the two females aside, into the bathroom actually, to break the news to them in private. She'd explained everything... leaving out details and going more into reasons why. Ivysaur had taken the news surprisingly well, even going so far as to congratulate her. Charmeleon on the other hand had erupted. She'd already burned several towels and melted one toothbrush. She looked ready to turn both Scyther and the babies on the way to charcoal. Ivysaur, always aware of her fire weakness, had ducked behind the toilet. The fire type took a long, shuddering breath as she regained her calm. -Have you told 'Et, yet?- she asked tersely.
Scyther shook her head miserably. She was feeling hot again. The heat flared up every now and then, from what she only had a vague idea. -Ivysaur... water,- she ordered, sinking down against the wall.
The grass type nodded understandingly, using her vines to fill a glass at the sink. Scyther held up her blades helplessly as Ivysaur passed the cup to her. Her vines tipped it to Scyther's mouth, becoming the hands she lacked. After a moment, the heat subsided, allowing Scyther to feel more like herself.
-You shouldn't,- Charmeleon berated. -It'll just make her worse.-
-How?- Scyther asked, tone dangerous. -I've got living links to her first. And your brother. I think that would cheer the both of you considerably.-
The flaming tail lashed uneasily. She growled, storming out of the room to terrorize someone else. Scyther sighed heavily, thankful the ball of temper and fire had left her without burns for the moment. Ivysaur emerged from her hiding place after glancing around warily. -You feeling all right, Scy?- she asked.
-Other than my fellow teammates hate me, I'm expecting hybrids, and my stomach feels like fire every hour or so,- the bug grunted, laying her head on her knee. One blade was wrapped around her abdomen for emphasis while the other hung at her side. Even her coloring was off, turning slightly gray.
Ivysaur sat up on her haunches, looking up at her teammate. -How much longer do you have until...?- she let her question trail off.
Scyther shook her head. -It usually takes six months in Scythers... I'm not sure about Chars though.- She looked up at Ivysaur. -Wanna walk for a while? I need to think.-
-Sure Scy.-
Grief was all she knew. Sorrow and regret were the only things left in her world. It was as if she were in a trance. A painful, grieving trance. She couldn't sleep, didn't want to eat... her mind refused to make her body do anything other than lie there, half-dead. She was thinner than usual. Her eyes were sunken in, cheekbones standing out prominent against her fair skin. All her bones stood out, hollows between them dark like the shadow of sorrow in her once vibrant hazel eyes.
She had no idea how much time was passing. No clue as to who came and went from her room, urging her to eat, to move, to try and break out of her depression. It was all a haze of faces and a blur of words lost on deaf ears. The picture laying beside her was, at most times, the sole object of her attention. In the world of the photo, she and her first were still together, still alive. Without him, her will was gone. She had nothing left. No one, human or poke'mon.
She was alone. To be alone was what she had always feared. To be alone was to be lost in the world. No one was left to comfort her.
The only thing she knew was that it was night. The sun was gone. Her beautiful, comforting sun had left her too. She stood for the first time in a month, shaking with the effort of walking. The photo slid from the bed, fluttering to the ground like a crippled butterfly. Her eyes were glazed, a strange, haunting purpose filling them. She didn't bother to notice the forms draped around the room, sound asleep to dream of the happier days gone by. Only one noticed her. Her bare feet made no sound against her wood floor. In the same, depressed daze, she found her slow, trembling way to the door and down the hall to the kitchen. Moving stiffly, she yanked open a drawer, staring at its contents with an odd sense of detachment.
There was nothing left. No reason to live. No reason to keep up this charade any longer. She couldn't exist without him. She didn't care anymore. The memories choked at her, daring her to carry out the deed. If she did, the memories would be able to act themselves out. Her pulse quickened, as did her breathing. No one was left for her on earth...
An emaciated finger stroked the edge of one of the blades she had used what seemed like years earlier for chopping Charmander's dinner. The finely honed edge made a small cut beside the nail, spilling a small drop of blood. She stared. When had her hands gotten so bony? It didn't matter, she supposed. Nothing would matter in an hour or so. It was going to hurt; no way she could deny that. But if her first could suffer so, then she would make herself go through the same. Although... it would make a suspicious mess here in the kitchen... The knife couldn't vanish from the house without arousing more suspicion. Perhaps she could do the deed here, then drag herself to the docks before anyone awoke to stop her.
Pleased with her plan, she smiled for the first time in weeks. It was a thin, dry smile, lacking the usual mirth her smiles usually held. She pulled the utensil from the drawer slowly, watching the moonlight bathe it in pure silver light. Her first's voice called to her, daring her to run and chase him. Taunting her to go faster, only to flaunt his aerial prowess. Her heart tore. The already damaged bonds of sanity snapped.
Aliet laid the blade against her thinner, now fragile wrist. She wondered how you were supposed to do things like this. No one told you how to die. A deep breath was altered quickly into a prayer as she pressed the edge against her skin.
Something equally sharp and deadly cut the handle in two, sending the actual blade flying across the room. It landed beside the refrigerator, still gleaming evilly in the cold light. The girl whirled to face the person who dared disturb her, face rigid with anger. Her Scyther's calm blue eyes met her own grief-mad hazel ones. -No, 'Et,- the bug said, dropping her blades sloppily to her sides. -I can't lose you too.- There was a weariness etched in her warrior's face Aliet had never seen before. It frightened her. It was then that the impact of what she had almost done hit her forcefully. She crumpled to the ground, trembling uncontrollably. Scyther knelt beside her trainer, placing a blade-careful to face the business end away from her neck-on her shoulder reassuringly.
The Fslam broke down. Her depression had been thrown off with the sudden realization of how low she had fallen. She threw herself on Scyther, wrapping her bony arms around the bug as tightly as she could. Sobs shook her like convulsions, pulling out the pain and heartache bottled up inside her weakened frame. Scyther held her just as tightly, never trying to stop the flood of tears, just comfort while they spilled. A little of her own grief was dragged to the surface, revealing her own despairing tears. Aliet wept hysterically. Her voice was one to tear even the stoniest of hearts into pieces. They both needed this moment. Heartache could only be suppressed for so long before it burst forth... and both of them had been suppressing this for far too long.
An hour passed before the broken girl showed any signs of relenting. When she finally calmed enough to speak, she allowed Scyther to cradle her like an infant, rocking her slowly back and forth. They sat, crouched together on the hard linoleum in the cold moonlight. "He-he promised, Scy," she whispered, voice breaking even more than the shattered thing it had been. "He promised he-he wouldn't leave me... ever." The words sent more tears gliding down her shimmering face. They were almost invisible with all their brethren shining around them.
-He's not completely gone, 'Et,- Scyther told her quietly. -Not completely.-
Her anger sparked slightly. That was a good sign. "I know," she said. "People never die in memories."
The bug shifted uncomfortably. She honestly didn't want to tell her Trainer until the fact was blatantly obvious. But, there was a chance that if she told, Aliet would keep on living and wanting to. It was with that hope, that she finally spilled the truth. -I'm pregnant,- she blurted, waiting the storm of anger to come... she almost hoped for it.
Instead, Aliet was silent. The bug felt her stiffen slightly, but other than that she remained the same. "When did this happen?" the Fslam asked quietly.
-When this whole mess did,- Scyther explained, blushing a darker shade of green. -We really didn't think anything was going to happen, 'Et. I promise. I never would have done anything if I'd thought this would happen.-
More silence. The minutes ticked slowly by, their only reference to any difference in the darkened kitchen around them. Pushing against Scyther's shoulder, Aliet struggled to her feet. "Well, then," she murmured. "we can't let him go off and die to shirk his fatherly duties..." This was a change. Aliet's humor had returned somewhat. Scyther smiled inwardly. It was more than she could have hoped for. With the knowledge that her first was-in some ways-still living, Aliet could live as well. In time, she might even return to her old, reliable self.
-What are you thinking?- the bug asked, allowing her trainer to help her up.
"I once read something in the book of my people," she began, starting her shaky way back to her bedroom. "It tells everything in Eatusur's power..." She stopped, looking over her shoulder at Scyther. There was a gleam in her eye none had thought to ever see again. "We find the firebird, we find your mate."
-It's cold out,- Ivysaur commented, scanning the sky. She stood in the open doorway, awaiting her Trainer's leave. Her flower swayed in the gentle breeze. -You sure you want to do this tonight?-
The Fslam took another bite out of her apple before answering. Two days had seen her changed for the good. The haunted, tortured look had faded, giving her back some of her spark. She'd finally started eating again-not very much, just enough to keep herself alive. She had begun staying up late, pouring over huge volumes long into the night, the door to her room locked. Her team or her brother always found her asleep on whatever book she'd been reading during the night. It didn't worry them, it was the most like her old self she had been in a long time. "Yes," she muttered, finishing off the fruit. A note sat on the kitchen table. She had to admit that it wasn't the best way to let her mom and Blaine know, but it was the only way she could think of. For what might have been the fortieth time, she re-read the note.
"Mom, Ash, and Blaine," it said. She rarely called Mrs. Ketchum "mom," but now it just seemed right. "By the time you wake up and read this, I'll be off to gods know where. I hope you understand. I needed to get away. There was just too much around here reminding me of before everything happened. I need to find a place that doesn't remind me of anything at all. Please, I beg you, don't worry about me. I don't need anyone worrying about me... And don't come looking for me. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can.
"Don't take this the wrong way. I love you all so much. You don't need me around as I am. Once I find some way to undo all this damage, I'll come back. I will. Please make sure Blaine gets this. Let him know that I will return to my Council duties as soon as possible. And Ash, good luck on your journey. I know I'll be proud of you... I'll come back before you've left on your journey... promise.
"Thank you for all you've done, Aliet."
She put the note next to the apple core, staring at it for a while. Charmander whined in her ear, prompting her to head out. Her team was waiting. She shouldered her pack from her journeying days, feeling its familiar weight. Her worn belt was around her waist, holding six empty balls. The borrowed Lapras sat in her pocket. There was no way she wanted to replace her first on her belt. His ashes were also stored in her pack, waiting the day they would be put back to use as a living thing. She wore jeans, her sandals, a red tee-shirt and her cloak. The hood was pulled up around her face, shielding it from the world. With a heavy sigh, she left her home in Pallet, starting down the road towards the dock.
Charmeleon, Scyther and Ivysaur fell into step beside her, Growlithe taking the lead while her baby rode her shoulder. Every step grew harder. The memories gained a hold on her mind, slowly, steadily driving her closer to insanity. Halfway down the road, she fell to her knees, crying. Red tears streamed down her thin cheeks, hardening as the fell to the road with small puffs of dust. "I-I can't do this..." she sobbed. "I c-can't..."
Someone abruptly yanked her to her feet. Aliet looked up, her eyes frightened. She met Scyther's stern gaze. -Listen to me, 'Et!- she said roughly. -You have to do this! You and me and everyone else knows you can't keep doing this to yourself! You'll die!- The bug shook her gently, trying desperately to get her point across. -If you die, there'll be no one to bring him back, no one to take care of Charmander! Think about that!-
The rest of her team flooded around her, whining, whimpering and doing whatever they could to remind their trainer of their lives. From their touches, their voices, Aliet gathered the strength to rise keep moving. Every few feet she would stop, almost falling, and they would move in to reassure her again. -Keep moving, 'Et,- Scyther crooned. -Someday we won't need to do this for you anymore.-
-Yeah, someday you'll be okay again,- Ivysaur added.
"Someday..." Aliet repeated. She fixed her hazel gaze on the horizon and kept walking. Walking on until morning. Walking until she could live again.
She never looked back.
Oh god what have I done? 0.o;;
Chapter
Ten
In which there is a funeral and Aliet makes some decisions.
"Shietaor ie na-pa tzu.
Ora.
Eatusur des Paradio.
Dorro minaewa."
The funeral chant rolled easily off of five tongues. The 6 Council stood in a semi-circle around a blazing funeral pyre, their now-healthy poke'mon faithfully at their sides. Aliet stood before it, just inside the circle. She held Charmander in one arm, her walking stick clasped in the other, Charmeleon clung to her leg, burying her face in Aliet's thick robes. No emotion showed on the fire trainer's face. Her hazel eyes were fixated on the flames leaping up to consume the body of her first. She said nothing, nor had she moved since lighting the fire out of ceremonial duty. That was how things worked. The trainer or relative of the dead lit the pyre and stood before it the whole time. A lump rose in her throat... and she forced it down. Her eyes teared up. Frowning, she blinked them back into obscurity.
Blaine stepped forward, his cheeks glistening. It hurt him to see her like this. She had once been so vibrant, so lively, so young... Now it looked as if she had aged ten years. All light had vanished from her hazel eyes. It was as if she had become one of the ancient Fslami of legend; an emotionless void which only anger could pierce. Maybe that had been one of the reasons why the Fslami had died out... He couldn't believe that stupid emotion rule had dragged his most promising council member into it. "Are you ready for the rites?" he asked gently. This would be the hardest part for her.
"Yes, Council Lead," she muttered, eyes intent on the fire burning her poke'mon. "I am."
The rites. The council leader would speak a question, and the party would reply in a way that was meant to drive the dead from their mind. It never worked. "How was he killed?" Blaine began.
"Murder."
"Will you seek vengeance?"
There was a shaky sigh. "No, I cannot. Eatusur has done this for me."
"Do you deny that he his truly and forever gone from this plane?"
Her lip trembled. "No..." she whispered.
"Do you accept that he has passed on to Paradio?"
She almost cried. He could see that easily. "Y-yes..." the word was so soft it was hard to hear.
Blaine backed up into the circle. "You may have final words now," he told her. He hated how cold and distant his voice was. It was all customs... he hated it.
Aliet moved closer to the fire, almost brushing it with a fingertip. The poke'mon gave a long, eerie cry as she whispered in a language long dead. "Charizard, i set... sen... sen... sen edau slen. Lag't... lag't... lag't sen!" She fell to her knees. A tear the color of blood rolled down her cheek, hardening as she stared. It solidified, then fell to the ground. "Sen edau slen, Charizard i set... oravi sen edau..."
The fire blazed higher, fully devouring the body. Aliet covered her face, trying to hide the look of anguish. Ashes were channeled from the pyre, down to an urn made entirely of Firestone. Charmeleon lay her head against Aliet's shoulder, whimpering while Charmander stared confusedly at the flames. She held them both close as the fire took away all they had left of him.
They stayed there long after the fire had died to embers. Blaine and Magmar stayed as well, watching them. The stars had appeared over the courtyard, Eatusur's bridge winking down reassuringly on the Fslam. Aliet finally moved. She stood, moving towards the urn. Her long fingers brushed the side of it fondly. There was a sad grace in her movements. "Brad worked hard on it," Blaine called from the other side of the pyre.
"Brad?" she asked, scornfully. "Why?"
He joined her. "Even those from Pewter have hearts when they need to," he said with a shrug. "Plus he's the best stoneworker we've got." Blaine watched her pick up the urn, staring blankly at it. "Have Scott seal it whenever you wish."
"Yes," she murmured. Her shoulders hunched suddenly, her head bowing towards the ground. He could see how hard she was trying not to cry. With a sigh and creaking limbs, Blaine walked up to stand by her side. She lay her head on his shoulder, shaking with barely contained sobs.
"I'll have Scott loan you his Pidgeot so you can fly-"
"No!" she shouted. There was a look on her face that scared him, a glint in her eyes that shot fear into his heart. What was this? Aliet Eaton not wishing to fly?
"Oh," he said softly. "I'm sorry, 'Et..."
"I'll take the ferry back..." she murmured slowly. She looked up at him. "I need to go now." Aliet began to walk away, Charmander in one arm, the urn in the other. Charmeleon trudged behind them. "Thanks," she called over her shoulder.
Blaine stood beside Magmar for a long time after she'd left, watching the stars and thinking remorsefully to himself.
-You're WHAT!?- Charmeleon exploded. Fire roared at the back of her eyes, showing her anger better than her aggressive posture did.
Scyther took a step back, startled by the fire type's anger. It had been a month since her mate had died. A month since her trainer had gone into recluse, hiding in her room, not eating or speaking... just lying on her bed staring at a photograph. A month since... since she'd gotten a mate. And the side effect was only now becoming visible. She took a deep breath, leaning against the wall behind her. -You heard me,- she mumbled.
The fire type paced back and forth between Ivysaur and the bug. -How could you?- she snapped.
-It's not like she had a choice, Meleon,- Ivysaur told her.
Charmeleon spun on the grass type now. Flame licked the edges of her jaws as maddened rage threatened to boil over. -Yes she did!- the young fire type shrieked. -She did too!-
A blade separated the two. -We never thought it would work,- Scyther growled. -If we had, we wouldn't have done it. I wouldn't have let him.-
This statement seemed to calm Charmeleon. Neither Scyther nor Ivysaur fully understood the reason for her rage. The bug had taken the two females aside, into the bathroom actually, to break the news to them in private. She'd explained everything... leaving out details and going more into reasons why. Ivysaur had taken the news surprisingly well, even going so far as to congratulate her. Charmeleon on the other hand had erupted. She'd already burned several towels and melted one toothbrush. She looked ready to turn both Scyther and the babies on the way to charcoal. Ivysaur, always aware of her fire weakness, had ducked behind the toilet. The fire type took a long, shuddering breath as she regained her calm. -Have you told 'Et, yet?- she asked tersely.
Scyther shook her head miserably. She was feeling hot again. The heat flared up every now and then, from what she only had a vague idea. -Ivysaur... water,- she ordered, sinking down against the wall.
The grass type nodded understandingly, using her vines to fill a glass at the sink. Scyther held up her blades helplessly as Ivysaur passed the cup to her. Her vines tipped it to Scyther's mouth, becoming the hands she lacked. After a moment, the heat subsided, allowing Scyther to feel more like herself.
-You shouldn't,- Charmeleon berated. -It'll just make her worse.-
-How?- Scyther asked, tone dangerous. -I've got living links to her first. And your brother. I think that would cheer the both of you considerably.-
The flaming tail lashed uneasily. She growled, storming out of the room to terrorize someone else. Scyther sighed heavily, thankful the ball of temper and fire had left her without burns for the moment. Ivysaur emerged from her hiding place after glancing around warily. -You feeling all right, Scy?- she asked.
-Other than my fellow teammates hate me, I'm expecting hybrids, and my stomach feels like fire every hour or so,- the bug grunted, laying her head on her knee. One blade was wrapped around her abdomen for emphasis while the other hung at her side. Even her coloring was off, turning slightly gray.
Ivysaur sat up on her haunches, looking up at her teammate. -How much longer do you have until...?- she let her question trail off.
Scyther shook her head. -It usually takes six months in Scythers... I'm not sure about Chars though.- She looked up at Ivysaur. -Wanna walk for a while? I need to think.-
-Sure Scy.-
Grief was all she knew. Sorrow and regret were the only things left in her world. It was as if she were in a trance. A painful, grieving trance. She couldn't sleep, didn't want to eat... her mind refused to make her body do anything other than lie there, half-dead. She was thinner than usual. Her eyes were sunken in, cheekbones standing out prominent against her fair skin. All her bones stood out, hollows between them dark like the shadow of sorrow in her once vibrant hazel eyes.
She had no idea how much time was passing. No clue as to who came and went from her room, urging her to eat, to move, to try and break out of her depression. It was all a haze of faces and a blur of words lost on deaf ears. The picture laying beside her was, at most times, the sole object of her attention. In the world of the photo, she and her first were still together, still alive. Without him, her will was gone. She had nothing left. No one, human or poke'mon.
She was alone. To be alone was what she had always feared. To be alone was to be lost in the world. No one was left to comfort her.
The only thing she knew was that it was night. The sun was gone. Her beautiful, comforting sun had left her too. She stood for the first time in a month, shaking with the effort of walking. The photo slid from the bed, fluttering to the ground like a crippled butterfly. Her eyes were glazed, a strange, haunting purpose filling them. She didn't bother to notice the forms draped around the room, sound asleep to dream of the happier days gone by. Only one noticed her. Her bare feet made no sound against her wood floor. In the same, depressed daze, she found her slow, trembling way to the door and down the hall to the kitchen. Moving stiffly, she yanked open a drawer, staring at its contents with an odd sense of detachment.
There was nothing left. No reason to live. No reason to keep up this charade any longer. She couldn't exist without him. She didn't care anymore. The memories choked at her, daring her to carry out the deed. If she did, the memories would be able to act themselves out. Her pulse quickened, as did her breathing. No one was left for her on earth...
An emaciated finger stroked the edge of one of the blades she had used what seemed like years earlier for chopping Charmander's dinner. The finely honed edge made a small cut beside the nail, spilling a small drop of blood. She stared. When had her hands gotten so bony? It didn't matter, she supposed. Nothing would matter in an hour or so. It was going to hurt; no way she could deny that. But if her first could suffer so, then she would make herself go through the same. Although... it would make a suspicious mess here in the kitchen... The knife couldn't vanish from the house without arousing more suspicion. Perhaps she could do the deed here, then drag herself to the docks before anyone awoke to stop her.
Pleased with her plan, she smiled for the first time in weeks. It was a thin, dry smile, lacking the usual mirth her smiles usually held. She pulled the utensil from the drawer slowly, watching the moonlight bathe it in pure silver light. Her first's voice called to her, daring her to run and chase him. Taunting her to go faster, only to flaunt his aerial prowess. Her heart tore. The already damaged bonds of sanity snapped.
Aliet laid the blade against her thinner, now fragile wrist. She wondered how you were supposed to do things like this. No one told you how to die. A deep breath was altered quickly into a prayer as she pressed the edge against her skin.
Something equally sharp and deadly cut the handle in two, sending the actual blade flying across the room. It landed beside the refrigerator, still gleaming evilly in the cold light. The girl whirled to face the person who dared disturb her, face rigid with anger. Her Scyther's calm blue eyes met her own grief-mad hazel ones. -No, 'Et,- the bug said, dropping her blades sloppily to her sides. -I can't lose you too.- There was a weariness etched in her warrior's face Aliet had never seen before. It frightened her. It was then that the impact of what she had almost done hit her forcefully. She crumpled to the ground, trembling uncontrollably. Scyther knelt beside her trainer, placing a blade-careful to face the business end away from her neck-on her shoulder reassuringly.
The Fslam broke down. Her depression had been thrown off with the sudden realization of how low she had fallen. She threw herself on Scyther, wrapping her bony arms around the bug as tightly as she could. Sobs shook her like convulsions, pulling out the pain and heartache bottled up inside her weakened frame. Scyther held her just as tightly, never trying to stop the flood of tears, just comfort while they spilled. A little of her own grief was dragged to the surface, revealing her own despairing tears. Aliet wept hysterically. Her voice was one to tear even the stoniest of hearts into pieces. They both needed this moment. Heartache could only be suppressed for so long before it burst forth... and both of them had been suppressing this for far too long.
An hour passed before the broken girl showed any signs of relenting. When she finally calmed enough to speak, she allowed Scyther to cradle her like an infant, rocking her slowly back and forth. They sat, crouched together on the hard linoleum in the cold moonlight. "He-he promised, Scy," she whispered, voice breaking even more than the shattered thing it had been. "He promised he-he wouldn't leave me... ever." The words sent more tears gliding down her shimmering face. They were almost invisible with all their brethren shining around them.
-He's not completely gone, 'Et,- Scyther told her quietly. -Not completely.-
Her anger sparked slightly. That was a good sign. "I know," she said. "People never die in memories."
The bug shifted uncomfortably. She honestly didn't want to tell her Trainer until the fact was blatantly obvious. But, there was a chance that if she told, Aliet would keep on living and wanting to. It was with that hope, that she finally spilled the truth. -I'm pregnant,- she blurted, waiting the storm of anger to come... she almost hoped for it.
Instead, Aliet was silent. The bug felt her stiffen slightly, but other than that she remained the same. "When did this happen?" the Fslam asked quietly.
-When this whole mess did,- Scyther explained, blushing a darker shade of green. -We really didn't think anything was going to happen, 'Et. I promise. I never would have done anything if I'd thought this would happen.-
More silence. The minutes ticked slowly by, their only reference to any difference in the darkened kitchen around them. Pushing against Scyther's shoulder, Aliet struggled to her feet. "Well, then," she murmured. "we can't let him go off and die to shirk his fatherly duties..." This was a change. Aliet's humor had returned somewhat. Scyther smiled inwardly. It was more than she could have hoped for. With the knowledge that her first was-in some ways-still living, Aliet could live as well. In time, she might even return to her old, reliable self.
-What are you thinking?- the bug asked, allowing her trainer to help her up.
"I once read something in the book of my people," she began, starting her shaky way back to her bedroom. "It tells everything in Eatusur's power..." She stopped, looking over her shoulder at Scyther. There was a gleam in her eye none had thought to ever see again. "We find the firebird, we find your mate."
-It's cold out,- Ivysaur commented, scanning the sky. She stood in the open doorway, awaiting her Trainer's leave. Her flower swayed in the gentle breeze. -You sure you want to do this tonight?-
The Fslam took another bite out of her apple before answering. Two days had seen her changed for the good. The haunted, tortured look had faded, giving her back some of her spark. She'd finally started eating again-not very much, just enough to keep herself alive. She had begun staying up late, pouring over huge volumes long into the night, the door to her room locked. Her team or her brother always found her asleep on whatever book she'd been reading during the night. It didn't worry them, it was the most like her old self she had been in a long time. "Yes," she muttered, finishing off the fruit. A note sat on the kitchen table. She had to admit that it wasn't the best way to let her mom and Blaine know, but it was the only way she could think of. For what might have been the fortieth time, she re-read the note.
"Mom, Ash, and Blaine," it said. She rarely called Mrs. Ketchum "mom," but now it just seemed right. "By the time you wake up and read this, I'll be off to gods know where. I hope you understand. I needed to get away. There was just too much around here reminding me of before everything happened. I need to find a place that doesn't remind me of anything at all. Please, I beg you, don't worry about me. I don't need anyone worrying about me... And don't come looking for me. I promise I'll be back as soon as I can.
"Don't take this the wrong way. I love you all so much. You don't need me around as I am. Once I find some way to undo all this damage, I'll come back. I will. Please make sure Blaine gets this. Let him know that I will return to my Council duties as soon as possible. And Ash, good luck on your journey. I know I'll be proud of you... I'll come back before you've left on your journey... promise.
"Thank you for all you've done, Aliet."
She put the note next to the apple core, staring at it for a while. Charmander whined in her ear, prompting her to head out. Her team was waiting. She shouldered her pack from her journeying days, feeling its familiar weight. Her worn belt was around her waist, holding six empty balls. The borrowed Lapras sat in her pocket. There was no way she wanted to replace her first on her belt. His ashes were also stored in her pack, waiting the day they would be put back to use as a living thing. She wore jeans, her sandals, a red tee-shirt and her cloak. The hood was pulled up around her face, shielding it from the world. With a heavy sigh, she left her home in Pallet, starting down the road towards the dock.
Charmeleon, Scyther and Ivysaur fell into step beside her, Growlithe taking the lead while her baby rode her shoulder. Every step grew harder. The memories gained a hold on her mind, slowly, steadily driving her closer to insanity. Halfway down the road, she fell to her knees, crying. Red tears streamed down her thin cheeks, hardening as the fell to the road with small puffs of dust. "I-I can't do this..." she sobbed. "I c-can't..."
Someone abruptly yanked her to her feet. Aliet looked up, her eyes frightened. She met Scyther's stern gaze. -Listen to me, 'Et!- she said roughly. -You have to do this! You and me and everyone else knows you can't keep doing this to yourself! You'll die!- The bug shook her gently, trying desperately to get her point across. -If you die, there'll be no one to bring him back, no one to take care of Charmander! Think about that!-
The rest of her team flooded around her, whining, whimpering and doing whatever they could to remind their trainer of their lives. From their touches, their voices, Aliet gathered the strength to rise keep moving. Every few feet she would stop, almost falling, and they would move in to reassure her again. -Keep moving, 'Et,- Scyther crooned. -Someday we won't need to do this for you anymore.-
-Yeah, someday you'll be okay again,- Ivysaur added.
"Someday..." Aliet repeated. She fixed her hazel gaze on the horizon and kept walking. Walking on until morning. Walking until she could live again.
She never looked back.
