"So...you don't remember us?" Lina asked again for maybe the tenth time. She was extremely irritated at her lack of magic. She figured if she could get Xelloss to remember that maybe she could get her magic back.
"No, we don't." Both of them said at the same time.
"You don't remember the fight with Dark Star?"
"No."
"You don't remember the marriage temple?"
"No."
"You don't remember anything we went through together?"
"No."
Lina sat down on the deck cross legged and thought some more. "What if they are tricking us?"
"Filia would never play part of it...at least willingly." Zelgadis mentioned. "He's not behaving like a mazoku...but there must be a way to find out." Zelgadis thought some more.
Shyphiel stepped forward. "I could find out." She clasped her hands in front of her and smiled softly. "I have a way."
"Eh? What, Shyphiel?" Lina asked, curious at what the shy maiden could do.
Shyphiel walked up to Xelloss. "Would you mind doing something for us? We are sure that you two are the friends that we used to travel with, but for some reason you do not remember us. I have a way to find out these things, if you are willing to let me. If you are who I think you are, then I can help you to remember your true past, Xelloss-san."
Xelloss looked at her for a moment and frowned. "I don't think that is a good idea."
"Why not?"
"How am I supposed to trust you and your friends?"
Shyphiel smiled slightly and tilted her head to one side. "There is no way I can make you trust us. All I can give you is my promise that all I am trying to do is help you to remember yourself."
Xelloss was quiet for a moment and turned his back to the preistess. "To be honest, I think I do know all of you somehow."
Lina put her hand on her hip and tilted her head just like Shyphiel. "Oh? And why is that?"
"Because you alll have been in my dreams."
Filia brightened and pointed at Lina. "Your right! She looks just like that painting you did! And so do the others come to think of it. Wow, she really is as small chested as you painted her..."
*WHACK!*
"Ow!" Filia glared at the sorceress as she rubbed her head.
Xelloss was quiet again before he turned to Shyphiel. "Alright. Maybe this will make my nightmares go away if I am lucky. What do you want me to do?"
"Somehow, I doubt this will make any nightmares go away for him." Zelgadis muttered.
Gourry leaned to Lina. "You know Lina, I might be wrong, but do you think Filia should be around for this in case he does remember?"
Lina blinked in surprise and looked at the swordsman for a moment. "Good point....Amelia, come here, would you?"
"Hai?"
"Take Filia to eat lunch, would you? I think she should be elsewhere for this."
Amelia nodded and after a few exchanged words, Filia and Amelia left to the lower decks.
Xelloss was sitting in a chair, and across from him was Shyphiel, also sitting in a chair.
"All right, Xelloss-san. You need to relax compleately. It's like all the energy is leaving your body......you feel warm....and content...." Shyphiel when on talking, nonstop and rythmically, and Xelloss followed her instructions until his eyes closed and finally his head hung from his shoulders.
"What are you doing?" Zelgadis whispered.
Shyphiel turned her head to look at him. "It's called hypnotism. I put him into a totally relaxed state so he is entirely open to the power of suggestion."
Gourry thought for a moment. "I think I say this in a city once. A man made some other guy think he was a chicken."
Shyphiel nodded. "Yes there is a lot you can do to a person who is in this state. But we are just trying to make him remember." She turned to Xelloss. "Xelloss, can you hear me?"
"Hai..."
Spyphiel turned to Lina and frowned slightly. "Lina-san. I am not sure this is a good idea for me to do."
Lina glowered and folded her arms across her chest. "Oh? Why is that?"
"Well...some people are better off not remembering some things. I think this would be one of those cases."
Lina's frown deepened as she looked upon the shy maiden. "That doesn't matter. He is the only key for us to use to get our powers back. I'm sure he'll be fine, Xelloss is a tough boy."
Shyphiel frowned and whispered mostly to herself, "That's not what I was getting at." She sighed and turned to Xelloss to continue.
"Xelloss, how old are you?"
"Twenty five..."
"Are you sure?"
"Hai...."
"How long have you and Filia-san been married?"
"Almost seven years..."
"What do you do for a living?"
"I run a tavern and inn. I paint. I write music. I play instuments. I trade...."
"Is Tsunami your's and Filia's daughter?"
"Hai...she is our daughter..."
"Tell me about her."
Lina stepped up to Shyphiel. "What are you doing? I thought you were going to make him remember?"
"I am Lina-san. Have patience. I am making him remember things, it's like a warm up." The priestess smiled at the sorceress.
"She is six years old. My father helped me name her. She is very smart but..." He trailed off.
"Go on, Xelloss-san." Shyphiel prodded.
"She is mute. She refuses to speak. Something scared her."
Shyphiel nodded and looked at Lina. "Are you sure you want to go on? If he remembers being a mazoku, who knows what he might do. This is the sort of thing that damages people.
Lina looked at Shyphiel and sighed. "You know, he's nuts either way so it doesn't matter. Besides, he's the only way I am going to get my powers back. I don't care how that jerk feels."
Shyphiel closed her eyes for a moment and turned to Xelloss.
"Xelloss, I want you to remember who you are."
"I know who I am."
"No, I mean your other self. Remember me. Remember Lina Inverse. Remember Gourry Gabriev. Remember Zelgadis Greyword. Remember Amelia Wil Telsa Saillune."
Xelloss started twictching slightly. His mouth became a frown, and his eyebrows knitted together.
"Remember the war of the Monsters Fall. Remember Ju-uuo-sama. Remember Xelloss Metallium, the mazoku."
The twitching increased.
"Remember you life, Xelloss? Who are you?"
"......I....am......?"
"You are Xelloss Metallium the mazoku."
".....I...." The images were flooding in. Lina and her friends, the blood he spilt, the horrors he caused, his master, everything was comming in a mind numbing wave.
His eyes suddenly came into focus, and he looked at Shyphiel and screamed, then passed out.
Shyphiel sighed. "That is never a good sign." She started to help the purple haired man off the ground, Gourry helping her to lift him.
"What is never a good sign. Why isn't he awake?" Lina asked irritably.
"He broke the trance. That is only possible under a few situations. Either the person was not far under, someone jostled him, or his mind went under sever stress. I think it's the last." They were walking to the entrance to the lower decks when his eyes snapped open again and he struggled free of their grip.
"Get away from me!" He yelled, backing off into a corner.
Zelgadis eyed him a bit and leaned to Lina. "I don't think you should get too close to him..." He whispered, noting the look in Xelloss' eyes.
Xelloss' mind was racing. They put those memories in my head...I never did those things....but....they feel true....it's the truth, isn't it? You're a monster... He clutched his head and the words kept playing in his mind. I'm a monster...I'm a monster.....I'm a monster....
"Xelloss-san?" Shyphiel stepped toward him worriedly.
You're a monster....
"Are you alright?"
You're a monster...
"Please, Xelloss-san...say something..."
You're a monster...
"I'm not a monster." He whispered to himself. He leaned up against the wall and started to sink to the floor, still clutching his head.
You're a monster.
"No..no..stop saying that..."
You're a monster....
Lina looked at Shyphiel. "What's wrong with him?"
You're a monster...
"No...please...I...don't want...." Xelloss voice dropped to a whimper.
You're a monster....
Shyphiel shook her head sadly and looked at Lina. "I warned you. This was dangerous. Put yourself into his position. Lina, I know you want your powers back but I feel that I think I just assisted you in destroying a good man's life."
You're a monster....
"WHAT? HIM, GOOD?" Lina snarled, pointed at him. "This is probably one of his stupid pranks."
You're a monster....
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Xelloss yelled and huddled even tighter.
Shyphiel starred at her hard. "Picture this. You live your life happily. You have a father that loves you and raised you since you were little. You lived a heathy happy childhood. A boy you grew up with is handsome, loving, and sweet. You love him. You marry him. Your life is wonderful and in bliss, and you have a beautiful child together that you love more than anything in this world...."
You're a monster....
"Yeah, so?" Lina asked, not getting it. Zelgadis and even Gourry understood though, looking at the huddled man with pity.
You're a monster....
"Then a bunc of people come into your home, your home is destroyed, your child almost dies, and these strange people insist that they know you. They put you under a trance and make you remember who you are. You are not this domesticated man with a loving wife, a beautiful daughter, and a wonderful life, you were a creature meant to destroy, to kill....you've split innocent blood for thousands of years. You demolish cities, like the one you lived in....you kill people....like the ones you know and live with, you murder families...like your own."
You're a monster....
Lina's eyes got a little wide as she turned to Xelloss, who by now had tightened up so much that he could have been mistaken for a child. He was whispering over and over..
"What's he saying?" Gourry asked.
Zelgadis was looking away from him, trying hard to not feel sorry for Xelloss after everything he had put them through in that past. "I'm not a monster...I'm not a monster...I'm not a monster..." Zelgadis' ears were much more sensitive.
Gourry was the only one to move, surprisingly. He knelt down and firmly set his hands on Xelloss' shoulders. "Xelloss....ne, Xelloss..." The blonde man shook him slightly. "Come on..."
Xelloss' head snapped up as he looked at Gourry, but his eyes were unfocused. Gourry shook him some more, calling his name over and over again. Lina's eyebrows knit together as she looked at him attempt to bring Xelloss out of whatever trance he had placed himself into.
His eyes came into focus once again, his eyes locking onto Gourrys for a long time as they stared at eachother. Somehow, Gourry knew not to move yet, no matter how long the man stared, he didn't say anything.
"......Gourry?" Xelloss asked suddenly.
"Hey, are you alright?" Gourry asked quietly.
Xelloss looked at him for a little bit longer. "Honestly...I've felt better." He smiled slightly. The voices are gone... He thought with much relief.
"So....you do remember?" Zelgadis half asked, half assumed.
Xelloss weakly placed a forefinger by his mouth and quietly stated: "Sore wa himitsu Desu."
Lina SNARLED. "So GLAD to see that you are feeling like yourself, you JERK! Now give me back my powers!"
"Uh..Lina-san..." Shyphiel started to plead.
Xelloss glared at the redhead for a moment. Slowly, he stodd up, a little wobbly on his feet. He approached Lina, looking at her hard. "Look at my eyes for a moment."
"Yea, so?" Lina said quietly, not sure at what he was getting at.
"Notice, they look human, don't they?" He pushed.
"What are you trying to get at, Xelloss?"
SMASH!
Xelloss punched her square in the face, sending her reeling back.
"HEY!" Both Zelgadis and Gourry yelled in usion.
"SO THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SCREW WITH SOMEONES HEAD!" He screamed at her. Lina sat up, too shocked to be angry.
"What....?"
"Did you even THINK about this? Making me remember? Sure, I consented, but how the hell was I supposed to know I used to be a mazoku? And don't you DARE do this to Filia! It would kill her!" He stomped off, leaving the others on deck.
"I think we went too far Lina." Gourry said quietly as he gently helped her up. "Even if he was a mazoku, it doesn't give us the right to do something like that."
"But it is also not fair of him to demand of us to not tell Filia. She has a right to know." Zelgadis added. "It's her decision, not his."
"Well figure it out tomorrow." Lina muttered, still not all together. "Shyphiel, could you heal this so it doesn't bruise?"
***** Filia enjoyed her meal with Amelia, parting with her after a long conversation that followed after they finished. She walked alone in the hall, turning to the room that once belonged, and now again, to Xelloss and Filia. She smiled to herself as she stepped it, quickly recalling some fond memories of this place. Xelloss was lying down on the bed, his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.
"Xelloss?" She called to him softly, walking to him and sitting down next to him on the edge of the bed.
Xelloss turned to look at her and two thoughts came to mind at the same time.
I love her.
I hate her.
He sighed. This is so confusing. I have no idea what my feelings are anymore...what am I going to do...?
"Xelloss?" She asked again, a worried frown crossing her face. "What's the matter?"
He looked at her. She is beautiful....but the things I did... A flash memory of the war of the Monster's Fall came to mind. He looked away from her. "I just don't feel like myself."
"So....do you remember them? Did they wake up this so called repressed memory?" Filia inquired.
".....I remember who they are. They're old traveling companions of ours. We dissapeared a month ago...and something happened to where our pasts were altered. We have another life beyond this."
Filia leaned forward. "I'm part of this? Maybe I should ask Shyphiel-san to bring my memory back."
Xelloss sat up strait and grabbed on to her arms. "No! You are better off not remembering. What you have now is much better." He hugged her tughtly and buried his face in her hair. Please...I do love her...I love her far more than I hate her.....but she will hate me more than anything else if she remembers who she is. She'll think this is all my fault....that I tricked her...and I didn't.... He kept his thoughts quiet so she wouldn't hear them.
Filia was surprised by his reaction and held onto him. "Well, can you at least tell me what you remember? Who are you really?"
Xelloss pulled back slowly and searched her eyes, trying to find out what she was feeling right now. She's scared... "Who am I?" He laughed a little. "I'm not too much different from what I used to be...my personality is the same...minus the sadist/massocistic attitude and the homocidal tendencies."
Filia's eyes widened. Her mouth fell open and her mind went blank for a moment. She got her composure back and glared at him. "You're kiddng me, right?"
"No...I'm not. I wasn't a nice....person." Tell her everything except that I was a mazoku...be honest though.... He kept that thought VERY quiet.
"What...about me? What was I like?" She turned away, trying to absorb what he said. He killed people....for pleasure....he's not like that at all....
Xelloss looked at her for a long moment, thinking. Then he started to laugh.
"What's so funny?" She snapped, not getting what he found so amusing.
"You...haven't changed! Well, you aren't as religious, and you are not all out against me..." oops.
"Against you? Why would I be against you?" She inquired.
"Well, lets just say our personalities clashed, but to be honest I don't want to talk about it."
"No, tell me! Why would I hate you?"
"Becuase I was a homocidal maniac with sado-massocistic tendencies accomanied with a strong desire to make everyone around me suffer from migrains." He grined.
"The migraine thing you do already..." Filia was quiet for a moment. "Xelloss. I want to remember."
He looked at her, then nodded. "I understand. Can we wait until tomorrow though?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"I want one more night...that you still love me." He sighed and looked down at the bed.
He's never like this. "Oh, quite being so melodramatic...no matter what kind of a person you once were, I'll still love you. Because that's the thing: what you ONCE were. You are a good, loving person. That is the Xelloss I know. I'm not worried, and neither should you be."
"Don't make a promise you can't keep."
"Xelloss, please..." Filia pleaded. He suddenly reached over and held her again.
"You'll understand tomorrow. Just...sleep for now. Alright?" He smiled and brushed away the hair that strayed to her face. "Forget that those people are even out there. Is Tsunami asleep?"
Filia yawned and stretched out on the bed, reaching for him to lay down with her. "Hai....snug as a bug in the next room."
Xelloss complied and lay down next to her, kissing her on the lips softly.
