"How did the patrol go?" Willow asked as Buffy walked slowly through the library doors.
The blond haired girl didn't reply, just walked numbly to the book cage and put away her materials. Willow eyed Buffy strangely as she walked to the table and took a seat. She was completely unsure of what to do around her. They'd never really spoken. Only a few shared bits and pieces of talk that could somewhat resemble a conversation, but nothing real. She looked back to her computer continuing the research on Lothos. She assumed Xander had gone to the bathroom or was getting a snack from the vending machines when he didn't come in right away. A few minutes passed before she looked up from her computer to see that Buffy hadn't moved an inch. She opened her mouth to ask a question, but Buffy asked first.
"Where's Mr. Giles?"
"At home," Willow replied. "After three nights of sleeping on the couch in his office he said that he wanted to sleep in his real bed for a change." "Oh," was all Buffy replied.
"Is something wrong?" Willow asked. "Where's Xander?"
Willow frowned when Xander's name caused Buffy to shiver and she knew that something was definitely not right.
"Where's Xander?" She asked more urgently. "Did something happen? Is he hurt?"
Buffy still didn't reply, causing a frustrated groan from the redhead. She stood up from her chair, folding her arms across her chest. She tried to look tough, even put on her famous resolve face, but the slayer remained stoic.
"Is Xander okay?" She asked again with a little bit more force behind her words.
"Depends on your definition of okay," Buffy muttered.
"What does that mean?"
"He..." Buffy began. "Nevermind."
"Tell me," Willow said flatly. "Please."
"How long ago did Xander try to kill himself?" Buffy asked.
Willow couldn't stop her jaw from opening just a little bit. She stared blankly for a few seconds wondering how exactly she had found out about Xander's little... incident. He wouldn't have just told her something like that. Would he?
"S-seven months ago," she answered. "But he's better now. I mean we got him some help and... Oh god he didn't try again did he?"
"No," Buffy assured her. "No he didn't but he told me something tonight that just... Well, I didn't know what to think of it. I mean, we fight together and that's about it. We don't know all that much about each other."
"Where is he?"
"Home, I think. He kind of left after we were done with the demons."
"He's all right though?"
"Physically?" Buffy asked. "He got slashed a little bit but it's not to bad. A little alcohol will clean it up and it'll be fine."
"But you think that he's emotionally hurt or something?" Willow wondered aloud.
"I wouldn't doubt that," Buffy replied. "Look Willow I know we're not friends or anything..."
"We are," Willow assured. "Well kind of."
"I know we both... Um, care about Xander." Willow took note that Buffy seemed to struggle with the word care. The girl had her own boatload of emotional problems. "And I think he's a little, I don't know. But it isn't good. We should talk to him." Willow was actually surprised that Buffy suggested that they help Xander. When she first arrived in town, Willow thought they hated each other. But something must have happened, something she didn't know about.
"We could go look for him at his house," Willow offered. "But I doubt he's there. His parents are kind of well; well they don't pay much attention to him."
"I know," Buffy replied. "He told me," she said off of Willow's look.
"Well let's go then," Willow said shutting down her computer.
They both started to walk out when Willow remembered a package that had come for Buffy a few hours ago. She turned back and went into Giles' office where they had put it. Buffy stared at Willow with a confused look on her face when she handed her the package.
"This came for you a few hours ago," Willow filled in.
"From who?"
"Didn't say."
Buffy shook the package near her ear like a kid with a present on Christmas day. She moved over to the counter and ripped away the paper and string. Lifting the top off the box she gasped at the sight of content inside. Willow looked over Buffy's shoulder to see a black leather jacket neatly folded and wrapped in tissue paper with a little note taped to one of the lapels.
"What is it?" Willow asked.
"It's mine," Buffy replied quietly.
"Why would someone send you your own jacket?"
"Because," she said lifting up the note to show it to Willow. "They want to let me know that they know I'm here."
Willow took the note, surprised by Buffy for the umpteenth time that night. She never actually thought she would have handed the note to her, or even told her that the jacket was hers. She read the note and gasped herself.
"Soon," it said.
"Lothos?" Willow asked.
"The one and only," Buffy muttered. "Whatever, I doubt he's going to attack now. He probably just wanted to scare me the bastard." She looked to Willow, and any trace of shock she'd had was gone. "Let's go find Xander."
Willow looked at her, the realization striking slight jealousy within her but even more astonishment at Buffy's lack of concern for herself, and more for Xander. There'd been no signs to speak of. If anything she thought they would end up killing each other. Not this.
"You..." Willow began, the words feeling strange on the tip of her tongue.
Buffy turned back, eyebrow raised.
"You really like him don't you?" She asked.
She flinched when Buffy's gaze turned cold and her brows creased together. She thought for a second Buffy might hit her, or at least, yell at her. But she just folded her arms and glared.
"I'm sorry," Willow blurted. "It was a dumb thing to say and I didn't think. I sometimes do that, and if you hang around me long enough you might see it but..."
"Forget it," Buffy said flatly. "And forget about looking for him. He's a big boy; he can take care of himself."
Willow looked on helplessly as Buffy grabbed her package from the counter and stormed out of library. She sighed. One of these days she'd have to learn to keep her mouth shut.
***
She trudged into her bedroom on tired feet. The clock on the side of her bed read two-thirty. Another night of staying at the library way too long. Removing her coat and kicking off her shoes, she threw her backpack on the floor next to her desk and flopped backwards onto her bed. All she wanted right now was to forget what she had discovered about Buffy and go to sleep. A tapping on her French doors made her fall off the bed, but she scuffled to her feet and moved to open them.
"Xander," she said opening the doors. "Didn't go home again?"
He brushed past her and sat on the edge of the bed. He still had the sword he'd taken from the library, which he let drop to the floor with a thump. Willow sat next to him and rubbed his back gently as he hung his head in his hands.
"I had to think," he whispered. "You know I can't do it there."
"Are you thinking about Buffy?" She asked.
His head shot up, an astounded look plastered across his face.
"She came back to the library earlier," she said. "She was acting kind of funny, I mean, she wasn't being mean or anything. She actually answered me when I asked her stuff. And she asked about you. Trying to... Well how you got your scars and..."
"She asked about that?"
"Kind of," she admitted. "She seemed really concerned for you Xander."
"Really?"
Willow nodded, bending over to pick up the sword from her floor. She looked and the Bat Demon blood splattered all over the scabbard and put it back down. She put her arm around his shoulders and pulled his head into her lap, softly petting his hair and offering small comfort.
"What happened tonight?" She asked.
"Nothing," he replied.
"You seemed pretty down about nothing."
"I'm always down."
"Did you two get into another fight?"
"I wouldn't call it that," he said.
"Then what is it?"
He sighed and wrapped his arms around her waist, squeezing slightly and getting as much contact as he could. She continued to stroke his head and waited patiently for him to go on. It was only a matter of time. He kept very little from her.
"I told her something," he mumbled.
"Told her what?"
"Something I shouldn't have."
"Like?"
"Like something I shouldn't have."
Willow sighed and kissed the top of his head hoping to coax it out of him, but he kept quiet for a few minutes more, leaving her to wish for sleep once again.
"You didn't tell her you liked her did you?"
She felt him tense in her arms and for the second time that night she wished she could take her words back. Xander didn't try to move away but she could tell that he wasn't enjoying the comfort of her arms like he normally did.
"What makes you say that?" He asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "Just the first thing that came to mind. Really, I just blurted it out."
He lifted his head to look at her but his face held no expression. She reached a hand to graze his cheek and he let her. She honestly wanted to take her words back because she could see the questions forming in his mind as to why she would have said what she did.
"Did Buffy say something like that?" He questioned. "About liking me?"
"No," she replied. "Not exactly."
"Tell me," he said.
"Well, she came in tonight all dazed about whatever you said. And she was being nice, kind of, and that is strange behavior for her. She asked about your... Incident. And seemed really concerned about you. Even the package she got from Lothos didn't seem to phase her."
"Wait," Xander said sternly. "She got a package from Lothos? Why didn't you say something about that first?"
"Well, I wasn't thinking of it. You came in here looking like you needed me and it slipped my mind. I was kind of too busy thinking about what could be going on between the two of you."
"There's nothing going on," he said.
"Well, how do I know that? The way she reacted when I asked if she really liked you just screamed denial. And the way you reacted when I asked you did too."
"There's nothing going on," he said again.
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. What was in the package?"
"A jacket," she answered. "She said it was hers, and it came with a note that said 'soon.' So we both kind of assumed Lothos was telling her he knew she was here."
"Where did she go?"
"I don't know, she kind of stormed out on me."
"Why?"
"Cause that's when I asked if she really liked you."
"Oh." He paused. "What did she say?"
"Nothing, she just kind of gave me that glare of death of hers and left."
"I should go find her," he said standing up.
"And do what?"
"I don't know, but if Lothos knows she's here he's bound to go after her and she shouldn't be alone."
He grabbed the sword off the floor and kissed Willow softly on her forehead.
"Thanks for being here," he said seriously.
"Always," she replied.
He smiled at her and opened the doors leading to her balcony.
"Xander," she called after him.
He stopped and turned back to her.
"Be careful," she said, the words carrying different meanings.
He saluted and disappeared into the night.
The blond haired girl didn't reply, just walked numbly to the book cage and put away her materials. Willow eyed Buffy strangely as she walked to the table and took a seat. She was completely unsure of what to do around her. They'd never really spoken. Only a few shared bits and pieces of talk that could somewhat resemble a conversation, but nothing real. She looked back to her computer continuing the research on Lothos. She assumed Xander had gone to the bathroom or was getting a snack from the vending machines when he didn't come in right away. A few minutes passed before she looked up from her computer to see that Buffy hadn't moved an inch. She opened her mouth to ask a question, but Buffy asked first.
"Where's Mr. Giles?"
"At home," Willow replied. "After three nights of sleeping on the couch in his office he said that he wanted to sleep in his real bed for a change." "Oh," was all Buffy replied.
"Is something wrong?" Willow asked. "Where's Xander?"
Willow frowned when Xander's name caused Buffy to shiver and she knew that something was definitely not right.
"Where's Xander?" She asked more urgently. "Did something happen? Is he hurt?"
Buffy still didn't reply, causing a frustrated groan from the redhead. She stood up from her chair, folding her arms across her chest. She tried to look tough, even put on her famous resolve face, but the slayer remained stoic.
"Is Xander okay?" She asked again with a little bit more force behind her words.
"Depends on your definition of okay," Buffy muttered.
"What does that mean?"
"He..." Buffy began. "Nevermind."
"Tell me," Willow said flatly. "Please."
"How long ago did Xander try to kill himself?" Buffy asked.
Willow couldn't stop her jaw from opening just a little bit. She stared blankly for a few seconds wondering how exactly she had found out about Xander's little... incident. He wouldn't have just told her something like that. Would he?
"S-seven months ago," she answered. "But he's better now. I mean we got him some help and... Oh god he didn't try again did he?"
"No," Buffy assured her. "No he didn't but he told me something tonight that just... Well, I didn't know what to think of it. I mean, we fight together and that's about it. We don't know all that much about each other."
"Where is he?"
"Home, I think. He kind of left after we were done with the demons."
"He's all right though?"
"Physically?" Buffy asked. "He got slashed a little bit but it's not to bad. A little alcohol will clean it up and it'll be fine."
"But you think that he's emotionally hurt or something?" Willow wondered aloud.
"I wouldn't doubt that," Buffy replied. "Look Willow I know we're not friends or anything..."
"We are," Willow assured. "Well kind of."
"I know we both... Um, care about Xander." Willow took note that Buffy seemed to struggle with the word care. The girl had her own boatload of emotional problems. "And I think he's a little, I don't know. But it isn't good. We should talk to him." Willow was actually surprised that Buffy suggested that they help Xander. When she first arrived in town, Willow thought they hated each other. But something must have happened, something she didn't know about.
"We could go look for him at his house," Willow offered. "But I doubt he's there. His parents are kind of well; well they don't pay much attention to him."
"I know," Buffy replied. "He told me," she said off of Willow's look.
"Well let's go then," Willow said shutting down her computer.
They both started to walk out when Willow remembered a package that had come for Buffy a few hours ago. She turned back and went into Giles' office where they had put it. Buffy stared at Willow with a confused look on her face when she handed her the package.
"This came for you a few hours ago," Willow filled in.
"From who?"
"Didn't say."
Buffy shook the package near her ear like a kid with a present on Christmas day. She moved over to the counter and ripped away the paper and string. Lifting the top off the box she gasped at the sight of content inside. Willow looked over Buffy's shoulder to see a black leather jacket neatly folded and wrapped in tissue paper with a little note taped to one of the lapels.
"What is it?" Willow asked.
"It's mine," Buffy replied quietly.
"Why would someone send you your own jacket?"
"Because," she said lifting up the note to show it to Willow. "They want to let me know that they know I'm here."
Willow took the note, surprised by Buffy for the umpteenth time that night. She never actually thought she would have handed the note to her, or even told her that the jacket was hers. She read the note and gasped herself.
"Soon," it said.
"Lothos?" Willow asked.
"The one and only," Buffy muttered. "Whatever, I doubt he's going to attack now. He probably just wanted to scare me the bastard." She looked to Willow, and any trace of shock she'd had was gone. "Let's go find Xander."
Willow looked at her, the realization striking slight jealousy within her but even more astonishment at Buffy's lack of concern for herself, and more for Xander. There'd been no signs to speak of. If anything she thought they would end up killing each other. Not this.
"You..." Willow began, the words feeling strange on the tip of her tongue.
Buffy turned back, eyebrow raised.
"You really like him don't you?" She asked.
She flinched when Buffy's gaze turned cold and her brows creased together. She thought for a second Buffy might hit her, or at least, yell at her. But she just folded her arms and glared.
"I'm sorry," Willow blurted. "It was a dumb thing to say and I didn't think. I sometimes do that, and if you hang around me long enough you might see it but..."
"Forget it," Buffy said flatly. "And forget about looking for him. He's a big boy; he can take care of himself."
Willow looked on helplessly as Buffy grabbed her package from the counter and stormed out of library. She sighed. One of these days she'd have to learn to keep her mouth shut.
***
She trudged into her bedroom on tired feet. The clock on the side of her bed read two-thirty. Another night of staying at the library way too long. Removing her coat and kicking off her shoes, she threw her backpack on the floor next to her desk and flopped backwards onto her bed. All she wanted right now was to forget what she had discovered about Buffy and go to sleep. A tapping on her French doors made her fall off the bed, but she scuffled to her feet and moved to open them.
"Xander," she said opening the doors. "Didn't go home again?"
He brushed past her and sat on the edge of the bed. He still had the sword he'd taken from the library, which he let drop to the floor with a thump. Willow sat next to him and rubbed his back gently as he hung his head in his hands.
"I had to think," he whispered. "You know I can't do it there."
"Are you thinking about Buffy?" She asked.
His head shot up, an astounded look plastered across his face.
"She came back to the library earlier," she said. "She was acting kind of funny, I mean, she wasn't being mean or anything. She actually answered me when I asked her stuff. And she asked about you. Trying to... Well how you got your scars and..."
"She asked about that?"
"Kind of," she admitted. "She seemed really concerned for you Xander."
"Really?"
Willow nodded, bending over to pick up the sword from her floor. She looked and the Bat Demon blood splattered all over the scabbard and put it back down. She put her arm around his shoulders and pulled his head into her lap, softly petting his hair and offering small comfort.
"What happened tonight?" She asked.
"Nothing," he replied.
"You seemed pretty down about nothing."
"I'm always down."
"Did you two get into another fight?"
"I wouldn't call it that," he said.
"Then what is it?"
He sighed and wrapped his arms around her waist, squeezing slightly and getting as much contact as he could. She continued to stroke his head and waited patiently for him to go on. It was only a matter of time. He kept very little from her.
"I told her something," he mumbled.
"Told her what?"
"Something I shouldn't have."
"Like?"
"Like something I shouldn't have."
Willow sighed and kissed the top of his head hoping to coax it out of him, but he kept quiet for a few minutes more, leaving her to wish for sleep once again.
"You didn't tell her you liked her did you?"
She felt him tense in her arms and for the second time that night she wished she could take her words back. Xander didn't try to move away but she could tell that he wasn't enjoying the comfort of her arms like he normally did.
"What makes you say that?" He asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "Just the first thing that came to mind. Really, I just blurted it out."
He lifted his head to look at her but his face held no expression. She reached a hand to graze his cheek and he let her. She honestly wanted to take her words back because she could see the questions forming in his mind as to why she would have said what she did.
"Did Buffy say something like that?" He questioned. "About liking me?"
"No," she replied. "Not exactly."
"Tell me," he said.
"Well, she came in tonight all dazed about whatever you said. And she was being nice, kind of, and that is strange behavior for her. She asked about your... Incident. And seemed really concerned about you. Even the package she got from Lothos didn't seem to phase her."
"Wait," Xander said sternly. "She got a package from Lothos? Why didn't you say something about that first?"
"Well, I wasn't thinking of it. You came in here looking like you needed me and it slipped my mind. I was kind of too busy thinking about what could be going on between the two of you."
"There's nothing going on," he said.
"Well, how do I know that? The way she reacted when I asked if she really liked you just screamed denial. And the way you reacted when I asked you did too."
"There's nothing going on," he said again.
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. What was in the package?"
"A jacket," she answered. "She said it was hers, and it came with a note that said 'soon.' So we both kind of assumed Lothos was telling her he knew she was here."
"Where did she go?"
"I don't know, she kind of stormed out on me."
"Why?"
"Cause that's when I asked if she really liked you."
"Oh." He paused. "What did she say?"
"Nothing, she just kind of gave me that glare of death of hers and left."
"I should go find her," he said standing up.
"And do what?"
"I don't know, but if Lothos knows she's here he's bound to go after her and she shouldn't be alone."
He grabbed the sword off the floor and kissed Willow softly on her forehead.
"Thanks for being here," he said seriously.
"Always," she replied.
He smiled at her and opened the doors leading to her balcony.
"Xander," she called after him.
He stopped and turned back to her.
"Be careful," she said, the words carrying different meanings.
He saluted and disappeared into the night.
