Chapter 9 ~ Last Minute Plans
No one has truly been under stress until she has had to plan her dream wedding in eight days. Jessie was under stress.
"Do you think the top of this is too frilly? I don't know. I think it's too frilly," Jessie ran her hands over the collar. "Yes, it's much too frilly." She paused and glanced to the saleslady. "Right?"
The saleslady just smiled and nodded. All she wanted was her commission.
Jessie hurried back into the dressing room, ripped off the too-frilly dress (adding it to the pile of 73 other too-something dresses), and pulled on another dress. She came out and, after examining herself in the mirror, said, "Mmm… it looks too… white to me. How about you? I – I mean… does – does it look too white to you?"
"Well, miss," the saleslady explained, "Most wedding dresses are white."
"No no no no no. This one's too white."
The saleslady smiled and nodded again.
James and Meowth, meanwhile, were searching for wedding rings.
"Why don't ya just get simple gold bands?"
James examined a diamond-inlaid ring. "Jessie won't like that."
"You already got her a fancy-shmancy engagement ring!"
"And not she needs a 'fancy-shmancy' wedding ring."
Meowth sighed. "Are you getting' an inscription too?"
"Of course!"
Meowth fell sideways.
"Hey Meowth, what do you think of this one?" James inquired. He held up a platinum, gold, and diamond band.
Meowth's mouth fell open. "How much is that?! $1,000,000?!"
"No, $999,999," James corrected him, "We can't carry more than that, remember?"
Meowth fell sideways again. "Ya need to buy two, remember?"
"Oh yeah." He put down the ring.
Back at the wedding dress store, Jessie stared at the saleslady. "What do you mean there are no more dresses?"
"Just what I said. You tried on all of the dresses in the store."
"ALL of them?!" Jessie looked faint.
"Well… you haven't tried on that one yet." The saleslady pointed towards a dark corner of the store, where a single dress hung in the shadows.
Jessie's eyes lit up. "Okay!" She ran and snatched the dress from the hook, then raced into the dressing room. Coming out in the "hidden" dress, she gazed into the mirror, scrutinizing her reflection. The top of the dress resembled Princess Jasmine's shirt (from Aladdin) – a strapless style, but with sleeve-like bands resting on the arms, just below her shoulders. The rest of the top was tight, with a low waist. The skirt looked almost exactly like Belle's (from Beauty and the Beast), except that it was white. The whole dress was shimmery white and sparkled when Jessie turned. Matching gloves went up slightly past her elbows. She ran her fingers through her hair until she couldn't reach anymore and smiled. Spinning in a circle and watching the skirt billow out around her, she cried, "It's perfect!"
Coincidentally, at the exact same moment, James also cried, "It's perfect!" He held his perfect "ring" above his head and struck a pose.
"It's… uh… not a ring, Jimmy boy."
James looked down at the contents of his hand, then at Meowth. "So?"
"You don't get married by exchanging pens!" Meowth jumped up and scratched James's face.
"Ouch! Meowth, that hurts!" He rubbed his face and the cuts disappeared. "This is the two piece pen set. Haven't you seen that commercial on television? The boy and the girl are dancing strangely. Then, they boy kneels and asks the girl, "Will you marry me?" and she says, "Can I touch it?" and he says, "It's your ring," and the girl happily takes the pen as she says, "I'll write my marriage with it." In the next scene, they get married. Finally, the girl is leaning on the boy's shoulder as he holds the two piece pen set in front of the camera and the boy says, "Buy the Two Piece Pen Set and have your honey attached to you… LITERALLY!" See, Meowth, that's even their slogan!" James pointed to the side of the pen case, where it read, in sparkly gold letters: "Have Your Honey Attached To You… LITERALLY!"
Meowth blinked. "You watch too much TV, James."
"And me can get an inscription and have a stone set into the top! Jessie will love this! And it's only…" He paused to check the price tag. "$2,000! For a pen with an inscription?!" He looked closer. "No wait. There's a decimal point here. So it's $20! We can afford this!" He danced in a happy little circle.
At the bridal shop, Jessie was also spinning in happy little circles. "I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!" she sang in a strange Puerto Rican accent, "I feel pretty and witty and bright! And I pity any girl who isn't me tonight!"
Jessie continued to sing the next charming verse. Previous to the song, she had donned white platform sandals and a shimmery lace veil. She had pulled James's rose out of nowhere and suddenly burst into song.
The saleslady was somewhat frightened. "Uh, Ma'am? If you're going to sing, you should sing the song playing on the store radio which is Bro-"
"See the pretty girl in that mirror there?" Jessie asked, interrupting her. The only mirror was in another department.
"What mirror?" The saleslady was confused, "Where?"
"Who can that attractive girl be?" Jessie continued, referring to her "reflection" in the imaginary mirror.
"Which? What? Where? Who?" The saleslady continued to try to find the mirror.
"Such a pretty face, such a pretty dress, such a pretty smile, such a pretty me!" Jessie spun in more circles.
The saleslady gave up searching for the mirror and just sighed.
Jessie sashayed from side to side while continuing to sing, "I feel stunning and entrancing! Feel like running and dancing for joy! For I'm loved by a pretty, wonderful boy!" She struck a Spanish-style pose.
Clapping slowly, the saleslady led Jessie back to the changing rooms. "All right. Beautiful. Change back to your normal outfit now. If you wish to purchase this dress, it's $500. Okay? Okay." She pushed Jessie into the room and closed the door. Holding her head in her hand, the saleslady sighed a mushroom cloud.
Finally, having made their "perfect" purchases, Jessie, James, and Meowth all met at the Restaurant for lunch. Unfortunately, the cook was taking a break, so they had to leave.
"Haven't they been on break for three years? Since the release of Pokémon Red and Blue?" Jessie pondered.
James thought about this. "Yes. I think you're right." They all sighed. There is much sighing in this chapter.
The trio decided to go out for pizza. They ordered a plain pie and took seats at the table by the window. James sat actually facing the window, while Jessie and Meowth had their backs to it. While they were all happily munching away, James suddenly spat his mouthful of pizza back onto his plate. Jessie looked at it with disgust as James stared wide-eyed out the window, pointed, and screamed, "Oh my God, a walking keyboard!"
This was a shock to Jessie and Meowth. It wasn't every day that there was a keyboard walking down the street. They whirled around, hoping to catch a glimpse of this fascinating event. A truck drove by. There was no keyboard in sight. They turned back around.
Jessie whacked James with a frying pan. "You big retard! There's no walking keyboard!"
"But there was!" James protested, rubbing his head, "I swear!"
"You got some serious issues, Jimmy boy," commented Meowth.
After finishing lunch, they spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around Celadon City – shopping capital of Kanto. They bought dinner, ice cream, cake, and bubbles (instead of the usual rice). Then, they went back to their hotel. Since they had one of those suite-ish rooms, there was a stove there. James decided he would cook.
"But you don't have any cooking skill points!" Jessie pointed out.
"So?" James shrugged. He turned to the stove with the pot of food.
Two minutes later, the stove was on fire. The fire alarm shrieked loudly. Jessie, James, and Meowth all stood three feet away from the bonfire, waving their arms above their heads and screaming, "FIRE!" in unison.
After the garbage can next to the stove had also caught on fire, a yellow-jacketed fireman burst through the door. He sprayed the fire and it went out. The stove had been reduced to a pile of ashes. The garbage pail was perfectly fine. The fireman left. Jessie, James, and Meowth calmed down.
During the chaos, another guest in the hotel had come over to see what was going on. Jessie greeted her at the door and, after explaining that they were okay, attempted to befriend her. After Jessie had finally achieved a mere 25 percent of the points needed for friendship, James walked over, slapped the lady on the face, walked down the hall to her room, took food out of her mini-fridge, ate it, and returned to their room. The woman cried and left.
Jessie was very angry. "James! We could've made a family friend there!"
James just yelled that he had a very low comfort level and went to sit down.
Since they hadn't yet had their meal, Jessie made some microwave dinners. As they ate, they chatted about peace, robbers, and flowers, and gained social points.
Next, the trio decided to watch some TV. They only got four stations at this hotel: Action, Horror, Romance, and Cartoons. The Romance Channel was chosen and they all watched it together.
After the second hour in front of the television set, James was singing along with the repeating commercials and Jessie's sides hurt from laughing so hard at the shows. "Spa-duh-spa-duh-zoobeedoobeedoobeedoobee-spaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" James chorused with the ad.
Jessie suddenly sat up. "Ohmigosh! Do you know what I just realized, James?"
James sat up too. "The meaning of that commercial?!" He was excited. He had been trying to figure that out for the last hour-and-a-half.
"No." James was disappointed. "I realized," continued Jessie, "That we don't have any family friends!"
Now James was confused. "What? What does that mean?"
"It means that, no matter how much we prepare, nobody is going to come to our wedding!"
James gasped.
"So," Jessie went on, "We could get married whenever, because we don't have to wait for our guests…" Her eyes were shining as she looked at James. "So let's get married right now!"
James choked on his spit. He coughed and his throat became clear again. "Now?! But it's 11 o'clock at night!"
"So?"
