"Fine, be that way," said Harry, and he, Hermione, and Ron marched off to Dumbledore's office. But just before they reached the stone gargolyes marking the entrance to Dumbledore's quarters, they heard a strange, loud, squishy noise. It was Professor Flitwick, who, along with the other staff members at Hogwarts, wasn't in his right mind today and was screaming, "I'M GONNA GO ROTATE THE TIRE ON MY UNICYCLE! WHO WANTS TO GO SQUEEZE THE GREEN AMOEBA?"

"Harry, what's the password? Hurry," said Hermione, frightened, as she should be of Professor Flitwick, who was beginning to foam at the mouth a little.

"Last time I checked it was naughty horticulture, but now I'm not sure," replied Harry.

"No, he changed it," replied Ron.

"Well...what is it?" asked Harry and Hermione in unison.

"Bridget Jones's Diary!" exclaimed Ron as entrance to Dumbledore's office opened.

"How did you know that?" asked Harry.

"You don't want to know..." Harry, Hermione and Ron walked up the stairs to Dumbledore's office. They heard music from the office. Harry quickly identified it as Crash Test Dummies. They entered the office to the sight of Dumbledore singing, "I think I'll Disappear now..." while disappearing and re-appearing.

"Professor Dumbledore?" asked Harry. Dumbledore suddenly reappeared, quite surprised to see Harry and Co. there. He quickly turned off the music and sat down at the desk.

"Harry! What can I do you for?"

"We must know about the Golden Toothpick of Thebes," said Hermione, Ron nodding beside her and Harry looking oddly confused. "We need to know who wants it, and why it's here," she added.

Dumbledore looked at it, cocked his head to the side the way birds do, took the toothpick, and promptly ate it. He then commenced to explode.

"WHY MUST THIS BE!!!??" shouted Harry.

Ron walked over and picked the toothpick up out of the Dumbledore goo. Suddenly, the wardrobe in the corner burst open and out jumped Dumbledore.

"Hey Harry! How's that for a cool trick?!" exclaimed Dumbledore.

"It's...um...messy," replied Harry.

"Excuse me, but has everyone around here gone completely insane?!" exclaimed Hermione.

"Not completely," replied Dumbledore, who followed that statement with a little softshoe dance.

"If I could interrupt, what's all the hoopla over the Golden Toothpick of Thebes?" asked Ron.

"Beats me," replied Dumbledore. "But it seems to be a hot collectors item. Why don't you go to the library and look it up?"

"We tried that," said Hermione.

"Then look harder. I'm only one man. I can't have all the answers. Now scoot...I'm busy," replied Dumbledore.

"Um...okay. Guys, let's go," replied Hermione.