"Didn't I tell you to LEAVE MY EYE THINGIES ALONE!!!" screamed Zim suddenly.

His voice came from the Great Hall, where GIR had quit jamming to the Doom Song and was once again, drooling and trying to eat Zim's eyes.

"Should we help him?" said Hermione.

"The green guy? Zim can fend for himself..." said Harry. "As for you, if we don't restore the deceased, we might have to shave your head bald, and rip off your eyelids." "Oh, right...."

Harry and Hermione ran past Zim and GIR and to Gryffindor Hall. They ran into the bunk room and threw open Neville's trunk. Harry and Hermione dug around until they found it. The book of the dead. Harry opened it. There was a sudden gush of wind. Harry looked up.

"That happens a lot around here, doesn't it?" asked Harry.

Hermione didn't answer. Instead, she flopped the book open on her lap and began to read. At this point, Neville burst into the common room.

He looked at Hermione reading, and yelped, "You must not read from the book!"

Hermione stopped and looked up. Another crisp breeze floated about the area. Harry looked skyward and announced, "Here comes the first plague."

He was correct; Snape burst into the room wearing the bridal gown. "IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU GOTTA GET WITH MY FRIENDS...." he was singing quite loudly.

"RUN!!!" screamed Hermione.

Harry and Hermione ran out of the Gryffindor house and promptly bumped into Hagrid.

"Hagrid! You have to help us! Everyone's exploding and we don't know what to do!" exclaimed both Harry and Hermione in unison.

"Relax. The solution to all your problems is in the forbidden books section of the library. I probably shouldn't have told you that..." replied Hagrid.

"Back to the Library..." said Harry.

"Thanks Hagrid."

"No problem," replied Hagrid.

As Harry and Hermione raced as fast as they could back to the library (AGAIN), they heard Hagrid shout from behind them, "Chunks ahoy, Mr. Pansies!"

They spun around to look at Hagrid, who promptly exploded. Hermione couldn't take it anymore.

She fell to the floor screaming in hysterics. "WHY MUST THE DEMENTED WRITER DO THIS TO US!!!???"

Harry couldn't think of an answer, so he tried to console Hermione with the first thing he could think of, which was actually somewhat disturbing. "I love sea otters! They're so mutant and delicious that I'm going to lick the whirling blades!"

Hermione stared. "What?"

Harry blushed. "Forget it."