**Spoilers up to 'Quickening!** (except no Darla…)

Title: Hot and Heavy Training 1/1

Author: Me (Krysta)

Rating: PG-PG13, I'm not good at the rating thing.

Distribution: Just take it, but please e-mail me once you do, so I know where it is.

Disclaimers: Not for profit, yada yada, I don't own anything.

Authors note: Okay, this is my lame attempt to make a humorous fic. This is what happens when you put me alone in a house with nothing to do. Like I said, lame. And, technically the idea isn't even mine. It was "inspired" by the thread over at: http://www.phoenixflare.com/forum/viewtopic.php?topic=2183&forum=1&13
And Rio's hilarious little idea. Hope she doesn't mind..

Feedback: I'm a feedback whore, and I live for it! Nuff' said.

Dedication: To all those lovely *snickers * people on msn, Cal, Miss G, and Katia. Thanks for the quality 'bitching' time guys.



"Like that?"

"A little lower."

"Lower? Angel, I don't think that's really a possibility."

"Try."

"Fine, but when I wake up hurting like hell in the morning, we all know who's to blame."

"Almost, yah, right..almost..there…good."

"Ow..ow!"

"Come on Cordy, flexibility is one of the most important factors here."

"Don't even get me started, I've been doing dance forever. I'm flexible! I just don't bend this way-ow!" she gritted through her teeth.

"One more second..okay, you can stop."

Cordelia fell back in a heap. "Now, that was painful."

"It'll get better, tomorrow we'll go lower."

"LOWER?! Angel, there is only so far someone can go doing the splits, and frankly, I think I've met that point, and passed it."

Ignoring her Angel continued, "Now lets work on your punches."

"Finally."

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"Anything?"

"Not yet."

"So how long do you think it will take?"

Sighing, he continued, "I'm not sure. But we have a bet going, if you want to join in. Popcorn?" The taller man with messed up hair asked while shoving a handful into his mouth.

"Thanks. " The short man with large black-rimmed glasses replied taking a handful and staring intently at the screens. "What'd I miss?"

"Well, around nine there was some breakfast action, then they started "training" again..hehe.."

"heh, "training"..right…What was it today?"

"Flexibility.." The taller man replied with a huge smile forming on his face.

"Was it-"


"Touchy? Oh yeah…oh yeah..heh heh heh.."

"Wait! Did you see that?" The shorter man asked as he jumped and pointed at the screen.

"What?"

"That look! The look, he gave her..nevermind."

"Whatever man. If you want to talk about looks, you should have seen the one she gave him earlier. Not to mention all the touching.."

"But they're always touching..heh heh….When will they get a clue?"

"I'm hoping November 24. But the Phil down in mail is guessing December 1."

"Come on man! Just say it already!" He screamed at the screen.

"Not till November 24 though.." The other man corrected.

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"Good." Angel said as she continued to punch at him.

"Angel, can we just take a break? I'm getting tired."

He was about to protest, but stopped himself, "Sure."

"Thanks." Cordelia gave him one of her huge smiles, and he couldn't help but smile back.

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"Did you see that smile?!! The dude never smiles, and her, well she never smiles like *that* at anyone! Do you think there is still time to change my bet?"

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She sat there drinking her water as Angel cleaned up the basement when something caught her eye.

"Angel?"

"What?" He mumbled still distracted as he attempted to organize his weapons.

"What is that?" Cordelia asked pointing to a corner on the ceiling.

"What?"

"That."

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"Uh Earl?. I don't think changing your bet will matter."

"Why not?" he asked turning away from the cabinet.

"Because I think they know."

"What?!" he screeched running to the screen.

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Angel grabbed a chair to stand on to get a better look. Immediately, he knew what it was. Without saying anything, he stepped down off the chair.

"What was it."

"Nothing."

"Are you sur-"

"It was nothing." He said sternly with his back to it. He then mouthed 'camera' to her and held his finger to his mouth indicating for her not to react.

"Okay." She shrugged, playing along. Positioning herself so that whoever was watching couldn't see her face she mouthed 'play along'.

She had that look. That mischievous look, and frankly, Angel was a tad bit worried as to what she had in mind. That look was never good. As if knowing what he was thinking she mouthed 'trust me'. He reluctantly nodded.

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"That was close." Earl sighed, plopping back down into his swivel chair.

"Too close." The other man agreed shoving another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

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"Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?" Cordelia asked suggestively as she took off her thin sweatshirt revealing a very small tank top.

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"Oh, it's not just you sweetheart…heh."

"Heh heh.."

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Angel gaped as she seductively took off her sweatshirt, starting to understand what she had in mind.

"Angel?" He shook his head slightly and brought his eyes back up to hers. "Umm..yah?"

"Isn't it hot?" She emphasized the 'hot' and rose an eyebrow at him. It took him a second to register what exactly she was trying to get across. "Oh! Hot, yah," he gulped as he took his shirt off and discarded it near Cordelia's sweatshirt.

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The two men stared at the screen; their jaws had dropped down to the floor. "Phil has got to see this." Earl said leaping for the phone. Seconds later Phil rushed into the room.

"What's happening!?" He asked out of breath.

"*It's* happening!"

"You sure?"

"Take a look for yourself." Earl said motioning to the screen. Just then there was a knock on the door.

"Crap." Earl mumbled as he rushed to get it. "This better be-" he stopped to see a lot of people standing on the other side of the door. "-good…..What's going on?" he asked innocently.

"Phil said that there was some vamp-on-hot seer action going on!" The man closest to the door said, trying to get a view of the room.

"What's going on Earl?" The men from inside the room asked.

"Get over here." They got up slowly not wanting to turn away from the screens. "What?..Who are all these people?"

"Apparently PHIL let them in on this." He said glaring at him.

"Sorry…" He mumbled.

"This isn't a free peep show here, people!" The second the words came out of his mouth, Earl had a brilliant thought. "Well, free, anyway." He added.

"Ahem..$10 to be exact." His partner added putting his open hand out. Within seconds the room was filled with people, and their pockets with money.

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"I was wondering if we could work on that kick you were teaching me?" Cordelia asked, with a smile growing on her face.

"Uh, sure. Get into the position I taught you." He told her as he put his hands on her shoulders from behind. Angel gulped again. He was shirtless..Cordelia was in a very very small tank top…and they were…touching, very closely.

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Everyone in the room sat there, completely still, with their eyes as wide as saucers. And, if you looked closely enough, you could see drool starting to form.

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"Right, like that." He whispered. "Now."

She turned to kick him and purposely lost her balance. He caught her, leg in one hand, her back in the other. They stood there, not moving from their position. After a few moments Cordelia cleared her throat and he let her leg down turning her towards him. She motioned with her eyes towards the camera and he immediately understood. Cordelia then started to lean in to kiss as Angel unnoticeably pulled something out from behind him. He leaned in, and just as they were about to kiss he threw the object and broke the camera.

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"This is it!" Someone shouted as they all leaned in to get a closer look at the screen. Just as they were going to kiss the screen went fuzzy causing the biggest uproar.

"FIX IT!!!!" people were screaming as some people fumbled with the cords trying to get the picture back.

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Cordelia started laughing, and even Angel chuckled a little. After a few minutes she cleared her throat and said, "Umm..Angel..could you…let me go.."

"Oh, right." He mumbled, a little too fast as he pulled his hands from her waist quicker than humanly possible, causing her to loose her balance.

He caught her right before she was about to hit the ground and steadied her. Pretty much putting them back into the same position they were previously in. "Sorry."

"It's okay." She whispered. Then it happened. They kissed, passionately. Maybe they were just lost in the moment…well, at least that would be what they would try to tell themselves later. After a few minutes they pulled way and stood there, shocked, and confused.

"I-I shou-should..ummm…go." She mumbled moving towards the stairs, and then running up them, leaving Angel standing there. And that's where he stood a good hour later, still wondering what just happened.



-Fin-