These Twisted Lives We Lead, Part 3, by Lea

Summary: When we last left off, Leo had explained to Piper what he thinks the motivation for Cole's killing of the witch was; Phoebe had just found Cole in the mausoleum attempting to commit suicide and stopped him.

Disclaimer: None of the characters used belong to me, no profit is made from this story and no infringement is intended.

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"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he repeated brokenly, over and over again as he bawled like a baby, his shoulders heaving with each wracking cry. Phoebe rocked back and forth holding him with her arms wrapped tightly around him as if by keeping him within the circle of her arms she could prevent anything bad from reaching him. Eventually, some time later, his tears died down and he managed to mostly get himself together. He moved back out of her embrace so he could talk to her. "I never meant for things to get so out of hand." he choked out, "It was just so damned hard!"

He closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath, then looked at her and started speaking again, "You have no idea how-" he broke off mid-sentence, his eyes shifting from her face to a point above and to the left of it. It was the demonic bounty hunters whom he had managed to outrun earlier. One of them looked down on Phoebe and smirked. Cole blanched as he realized the bounty hunter's intentions, a look of abject terror filling his face. A matter of seconds stretched into an eternity for Cole as he lifted his hand and called upon every single last bit of energy he had left in him. He muttered a fervent prayer, "Please. Let this be enough!" he whispered as he formed it into an energy-ball and threw it at the bounty hunter. Phoebe spun around and saw it hit, for a moment it appeared as though Cole's best wasn't going to be good enough, but then the bounty hunter dissolved into flames and disappeared and his companions shimmered away.

Phoebe quickly turned back to Cole and found him lying, unmoving, on the concrete floor. "Cole!" she shouted as she ran to his side. "Don't do this to me. Don't you do this to me, Cole." she said, kneeling next to him and picking up his hand, his skin was pale and felt clammy. "Come on, Cole." she whispered as she leaned over his face.

Finally his eyes fluttered open, "Phoebe! You're all right!" he exclaimed smiling weakly at her in relief, though he didn't move from his position on the floor of the mausoleum and his breathing was still shallow. "I was so worried... I thought I might not be strong enough..."

Phoebe helped Cole up so he could sit, leaning against one of the tombstones. She then sat next to him, resting her head on his shoulder, grateful for the contact between them. "You saved my life, Cole," she said, turning towards him and smiling.

"Yeah, well, you saved mine first." he replied in a low voice, looking away from her eyes.

"Cole," she said as she gently, yet forcefully turned his head back towards hers, "Don't you ever scare me like that again. I mean it. When we were apart it was bad, really bad, but at least I knew there was always the hope that things would get better, that somehow we could be together again." Phoebe paused and inhaled deeply then continued "But if you were to..." she trailed off, not wanting to say the awful words. "Cole, if that happened I don't think I could go on." she finished in a small voice.

Cole pulled her tighter against him and she could feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest. "I am so sorry Phoebe. I didn't want to cause you any pain," he rasped out in an anguished voice, his breathing still shallow. "I just... I couldn't deal with the hell my life had become! Being without you just hurt so much... I mean, at least you have your sisters. Me, I have no one!" suddenly he barked out a short humorless laugh, "That is unless you count the couple hundred bounty-hunters who are out after my blood." he quickly sobered up and his expression became somber once again, "Dammit Phoebe, I missed you so much!" he paused, as if unsure as to whether or not he should continue, then added softly, "I love you, Phoebe." He fell silent again and the only sound to be heard was his breathing, grating harshly, against the comparative silence in the dim light of the mausoleum.

Phoebe turned so she faced him. She reached up and cupped his cheek in her palm. "I missed you too Cole," she said, caressing his skin, then deliberately, she added, "And I will always love you." Slowly, she tilted her head up and her lips found his. The kiss was light at first, like a gentle breeze over the sea. Phoebe had seen how much a small energy ball had taken out of him and didn't want to push too hard, but Cole found he couldn't keep the flood of emotions within him suppressed any longer and kissed her back hungrily, moaning her name against her mouth. He ran his hands down her back as they kissed, expressing without words the depth of their feelings for each other. When the kiss finally ended, she was unable to tell if his heavy breathing was due to the attack on the demon or the kiss they had just shared.

After a few minutes, Phoebe spoke up again, realizing something, "Cole, do you have enough energy to shimmer?" she asked.

"Well, as long as we stay in this dimension and it's just once, I should be fine. Why?"

"I just was thinking about those demons, the bounty hunters from before, we should get out of here before they return, they aren't just going to forget about you are they?"

"No, they'll be back." he replied somberly, "So, where do you want to go? Your place?"

"No, I don't think either of us are up to dealing with my sisters right now." she said, smiling wryly.

"Well then, a seedy hotel?" he asked, wriggling his eyebrows and smiling devilishly.

Phoebe playfully smacked his arm. "No, silly, besides, I don't think you have enough energy for that either!"

"Ouch! Hitting a man when he's down! That's no fair!" said Cole, pretending to be hurt.

Phoebe smiled, "Come on Cole, be serious! Is there anyplace you can think of?"

Cole thought for a minute, "Oh wait! Yeah!" he exclaimed, "I know the perfect place!" he stood up to shimmer. "Lets go!"

Phoebe got up too, but stepped away from him, though his boyish enthusiasm did make her smile, "Oh no we don't, not until you tell me where this wonderful place of yours is!"

"Aww, come on! You'll love it!" when she made no move towards him he added, "What is it? Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you Cole, it's just... You know what? Never mind." she said, stepping into his embrace, "It's not worth fighting over, but, Cole Turner, if you bring me to some seedy hotel..." her voice trailed off as he shimmered them off together.

~End chapter 3~

Lifehouse - Hanging By A Moment

…Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That could change my mind

I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and I'm not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you
Just hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment
Hanging by a moment here with you