Part Two
INTRODUCTIONS ARE IN ORDER
The next day, not so far from the ogre's house, there was a lot of commotion. The captain of the guards, along with many guardsman were in a field. There along with them were many many cages and carriages set up like jails.
To fill them, were fairy tale creatures. There were seven dwarves being lead off in chains, a unicorn being stuffed into a carriage along with other creatures of different sizes and races.
There was a table set up in the centre of all the commotion, where the captain of the guards sat with bags of money around him. At the moment he was dealing with a man who had brought in a witch.
"Right, that'll be 20 pieces of silver for the witch." He exclaimed as a guard snapped the witches broom in half. "Take her away." Came the order.
The man walked off grumbling about the silver pieces, and passed an old woman who had a donkey with her. The donkey was observing the place, he saw the witch thrown into a carriage and hauled away. Then he spotted two cages besides each other. In one were two bears, one a Father (he had a pipe in his mouth), the other was the Mother (a bow in her hair). Besides them in a smaller cage sat a cub, who was crying.
"This cage is so small!" he cried. The donkey gulped as he glanced behind him and saw a young boy with a cage which contained a little yellow fairy. Behind him stood a tall man who had three pigs, two under one arm, the other under the other.
"Please don't turn me in, I'll never be stubborn again! I can change, gimmie another chance please!" cried the Donkey, speaking up. The woman frowned at him and raised her hand as if to hit him.
"Shut up!" he declared, and he whimpered and 'shut up'.
"Next!" came the voice of the captain. An elderly man wearing a smock walked to the table, and set down a puppet he had been holding.
"Whaddya got?" asked the captain.
"Dis little wooden puppet." Said the man. The puppet looked from the man to the captain.
"I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy!" he declared, but with that, his nose suddenly grew at least two feet. The captain of the guards, as well as the two guards besides him stared for a moment.
"5 shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away." He ordered. The man was given his money, and he walked off as the puppet was taken in another direction.
"Father please! Don't leave me! Help me!" came his cries, which were soon gone. Next is was the woman with the donkey.
"Whaddya got?" came the same voice of the captain.
"Well, I have a talking donkey!" exclaimed the woman, yanking on the donkey forward by the rope around his mouth.
"Riiigghht... well that's good for 10 shillings, if you can prove it." Said the captain, since that day he had been given a lot of strange creatures. Like a stalk and a spinning top.
"Oh-ho, go ahead little fella." Said the old lady, now sounding sweet and innocent as she took the rope off the donkey's mouth. But the donkey just looked from her, to the guards, and remained quiet.
"Well?" asked the captain.
"Oh he's just a little nervous, he's really quite a chatter box! Talk you miserable beast!" she raised her hand to slap him again, and the donkey stepped away.
"That's it I've heard enough." Said the captain, getting impatient.
"No, he can talk really!" said the old lady, she then grabbed the donkey's mouth and moved it, speaking herself.
"I can talk! I love to talk! I'm the talk-iest damn thing you ever saw!"
There was a pause.
"Get her out of my sight." Said the captain. The guards, on his word grabbed the old lady who began to struggle.
"No he can talk! Really!" she kicked here and there, and her foot then connected with the small cage of the young boy behind her. It soared into the air, that with it's small cargo being a fairy. It then landed on the donkey's head, and fairy dust sprinkled down upon him.
Suddenly he began to rise into the sky, the donkey glanced around, shocked.
"Hey, I can fly!" he declared.
"He can fly!" cried the young boy,
"He can fly!" declared the three little pigs,
"He can talk!" cried the captain a the donkey soared into the air.
"Haha! That's right fool! Now I'm a flying talking donkey! You may have seen a dragon fly, maybe even a super fly, but you ain't never seen a donkey fly!" cheered the donkey as he soared away, but suddenly lost his altitude.
"Uh... oh." He said, and then fell to the floor and landed on his rear.
"Seize him!" screamed the captain.
The donkey panicked as he was grabbed by two guards, but he wiggled loose and ran as fast as his little stubby legs could go. The guards, as well as the captain was in hot pursuit. The donkey kept on running as fast as he can, when he came to an abrupt halt.
He had ran into something, or, someone. He shook his head and looked up, and there stood the ogre, who had been putting up a 'Keep out' sign on a tree. The ogre turned and looked down at the donkey, who just stared back.
"This way! Hurry!" came the voice of some guards, the donkey looked behind him and then took cover behind the huge ogre as the captain and the guards ran up, and soon stopped when they saw the tall ogre stood there.
"You there... ogre." Said the captain,
"Aye?" came the reply from the ogre, hands how on his hips, annoyed that his day has been ruined again by company.
"By the order of Lord Farquaad... I am authorised to place you both under arrest.." the captain's voice was shaking and nervous, due to the fact the ogre was walking towards him slowly.
"..and transport you to a designated resettlement... facility..." the ogre was now stood right in front of him, and there was a deafening silence.
"Oh really?" asked the ogre, leaning down so he was now face to face with the captain. "You 'n what army?" he asked, glancing behind the captain.
The captain of the guards looked behind him, and noted how his guards had retreated. He took a leaflet out of their book and rocketed out of there as fast as he could after his men. The donkey chuckled to himself, and the ogre turned and walked away, hoping this would be the last he saw of both the guards and the donkey.
The donkey watched his new hero walk off, then trotted after him.
"Can I say something to you?" he asked, the ogre still walked on.
"Listen you were really something out there." Said the donkey who was stood behind the ogre to his left. The ogre frowned and looked to his right, but found no donkey. He glanced to his left, but now the donkey went to his right. "Incredible." Claimed the donkey.
The ogre, already annoyed turned around fully.
"Are you talking to-" he stopped, there was no more donkey. "…me?" he blinked and shrugged, then turned back to where he was heading and was shocked to see the donkey now stood in front of him, giving off a started yell.
"Yes I was talkin' to you!" declared the donkey as the ogre walked past him again. "You see you were really great back there! I mean you 'n those guards? They thought they were really somethin' then you came along-"
The donkey hurried after the ogre, and stopped in front of him and reared onto his back hoofs and make an action move with one of his hoofs, making the ogre stop again. "And bam! They were trippin' over themselves like Babes in the wood! I loved seeing that, made me feel happy seeing that." declared the donkey.
The ogre groaned and kept on walking, hoping the donkey will get the hint and leave, but he didn't.
"Man it's good to be free!" added the donkey.
"Oh that's great really." Said the ogre, speaking for the second time, and turned to the donkey. "So why don't you go celebrate with your own friends, hmmm?" he asked leaning down to the donkey. With that said, he walked off again as the donkey stood there.
"But... I don't have any friends. An I'm NOT going out there by myself." Then he had a flash of inspiration. "Wait a minute I got a great idea! I'll stick with you!"
The donkey hurried after the ogre, walking besides him happily, not seeing how annoyed the ogre was.
"You're a mean green fighting machine! With you we'll scare the spit out of anybody who crosses us!" continued the donkey. The ogre came to a halt, then turned and gave off an all mighty roar right into the donkey's face, hoping this would scare him off and give him nightmares for weeks. The donkey stared, now an impressed look came across his face.
"Oh wow! That was really scary!" he declared. The ogre, shocked, frowned and stomped off. "Now if that don't work your breath will certainly do the trick cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something cause your breath STINKS!"
The ogre continued walking, and not hearing the donkey talk for about five seconds made him believe the donkey was gone. Once again he was wrong, the donkey suddenly looked down at him from above, it seemed a tree had fallen near the fallen earth the ogre was walking in, and the donkey was stood on it.
"Man you almost ran my hair up my nose! Just like the time-" the ogre then grabbed the donkey's mouth with his hand, and held it there. The donkey kept talking either way, but it was muffled. The ogre removed his hand... "-I ate some off berries, man I had some strong gas seeping outta my butt that day!"
"WHY are you following me?!" asked the ogre, now annoyed that nothing could shut the donkey up, then continued on his way home.
"I'll tell you why." Said the donkey, who leaped off the tree. As he followed the ogre, he suddenly broke into song!
"Cause I'm all alone, there's no one here besides me!" he came to a stop in front of the ogre, who stopped too. He continued singing, "My problems have all gone, there's no one to derive meee! But you gotta have friends!-"
"STOP SINGING!" yelled the ogre, and the donkey actually did. "Dah, it's no wonder you don't have any friends!" declared the ogre as he grabbed the donkey by the ears and tail, and moved him out of his way.
"Wowww... only a true friend would be that truly honest!" claimed the donkey. The ogre groaned.
"Look, little donkey, take a look at me, what am I?" asked the ogre, opening his arms out. The donkey looked from the ogre's feet to his head.
"Uuuummm... really tall?" was his first guess.
"No! I'm an ogre! You know, grab your torch 'n pitchforks! ...doesn't that bother you?" asked the ogre after the donkey's poor guess.
"Nope!" came the response.
"...really?" asked the ogre, a little bit surprised.
"Really really." Said the donkey happily.
"Oh." Replied the ogre, not sure what to say.
"Man I like you, what's your name?" asked the donkey. The ogre looked a little surprised, no one had asked him his name for a very very long time. It was almost as if he had forgotten it himself.
"Uhh... Shrek." Replied Shrek after a moment, then went on his way again.
"Shrek?" echoed the Donkey, seeing if he got it right, then followed Shrek. "You know what I like about you Shrek? You got that whole, 'I don't care what nobody thinks me' of thing, I like that I respect that."
The donkey continued after Shrek as they headed up a flower filled meadow, then came to a stop. The small grassy meadowy hill over looked Shrek's swamp. Donkey stared.
"Hoo! Look that that! Who'd wanna live in a place like that!" Donkey declared, with some disgust in his voice. Shrek put his hands to his hips.
"That... would be my home." He claimed, then headed down the other side of the small hill. Donkey blinked, he really had put his hoof in it.
"..and it is lovely! Really beautiful! It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget!" Donkey clambered on, then stopped as he saw a boulder.
"I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder." Donkey claimed, then continued after Shrek again, but stopped when he saw the 'Keep Out' signs.
"I guess you don't.. uh, entertain much." Donkey commented.
"I like my privacy." Shrek claimed as he kept walking to his front door, and Donkey trotted after him.
"You know what I do to! That's another thing we got in common! Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face 'n you try to give em a hint and they won't leave! Then there's that big awkward silence.. you know...?"
There was a big awkward silence as Shrek looked back at Donkey. More silence.
"Can I stay with you?" Donkey suddenly asked out of the blue, which shocked Shrek.
"W-what?" he asked, taken back.
"Can I stay with you, please?" Donkey added the magic word.
"Oh of course!" Shrek declared sounding light-hearted.
"Really?" Donkey asked.
"No." Shrek said strictly, and turned again.
"PLEASE don't leave me alone out here! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak!" Donkey hurried up and had now pushed Shrek onto his front door with his hooves. There was a pause as he remembered what Shrek was.
"Well... maybe, ya do... but that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay PLEASE!" cried Donkey, getting hysterical.
"OKAY! Okay!" Shrek finally gave in as Donkey dropped to the floor. "But for one night only." He added as he opened his door.
"Oh yay!" declared Donkey, and he suddenly shoved past Shrek and leapt onto Shrek's recliner of crocodile skin.
"No-no!" cried Shrek.
"Oh man this'll be great! We can stay up late, swapping manly stories and in the mornin'... I'm making waffles!" declared Donkey as he sat on the recliner. Shrek groaned and held his hands out, as if to strangle the noisy intruder.
"Where do uh, I sleep?" Donkey asked.
"OUTSIDE!" screamed Shrek, pointing outside. Donkey blinked, and his ears drooped.
"Oh... I see, I mean you don't know me and I don't know you..." Donkey said sadly as he leapt to the floor and began to walk out. "Here I go..." he walked past Shrek, and was now outside. "Goodnight." He said sadly, but was replied with a slammed door. He let out a sign.
"You know I do like it outside, I was a donkey I was born out side." He claimed. Shrek, inside sighed to himself and walked away from the door.
"I'll just sit by myself outside... I'm all alone, there's nobody here besides me...
INTRODUCTIONS ARE IN ORDER
The next day, not so far from the ogre's house, there was a lot of commotion. The captain of the guards, along with many guardsman were in a field. There along with them were many many cages and carriages set up like jails.
To fill them, were fairy tale creatures. There were seven dwarves being lead off in chains, a unicorn being stuffed into a carriage along with other creatures of different sizes and races.
There was a table set up in the centre of all the commotion, where the captain of the guards sat with bags of money around him. At the moment he was dealing with a man who had brought in a witch.
"Right, that'll be 20 pieces of silver for the witch." He exclaimed as a guard snapped the witches broom in half. "Take her away." Came the order.
The man walked off grumbling about the silver pieces, and passed an old woman who had a donkey with her. The donkey was observing the place, he saw the witch thrown into a carriage and hauled away. Then he spotted two cages besides each other. In one were two bears, one a Father (he had a pipe in his mouth), the other was the Mother (a bow in her hair). Besides them in a smaller cage sat a cub, who was crying.
"This cage is so small!" he cried. The donkey gulped as he glanced behind him and saw a young boy with a cage which contained a little yellow fairy. Behind him stood a tall man who had three pigs, two under one arm, the other under the other.
"Please don't turn me in, I'll never be stubborn again! I can change, gimmie another chance please!" cried the Donkey, speaking up. The woman frowned at him and raised her hand as if to hit him.
"Shut up!" he declared, and he whimpered and 'shut up'.
"Next!" came the voice of the captain. An elderly man wearing a smock walked to the table, and set down a puppet he had been holding.
"Whaddya got?" asked the captain.
"Dis little wooden puppet." Said the man. The puppet looked from the man to the captain.
"I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy!" he declared, but with that, his nose suddenly grew at least two feet. The captain of the guards, as well as the two guards besides him stared for a moment.
"5 shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away." He ordered. The man was given his money, and he walked off as the puppet was taken in another direction.
"Father please! Don't leave me! Help me!" came his cries, which were soon gone. Next is was the woman with the donkey.
"Whaddya got?" came the same voice of the captain.
"Well, I have a talking donkey!" exclaimed the woman, yanking on the donkey forward by the rope around his mouth.
"Riiigghht... well that's good for 10 shillings, if you can prove it." Said the captain, since that day he had been given a lot of strange creatures. Like a stalk and a spinning top.
"Oh-ho, go ahead little fella." Said the old lady, now sounding sweet and innocent as she took the rope off the donkey's mouth. But the donkey just looked from her, to the guards, and remained quiet.
"Well?" asked the captain.
"Oh he's just a little nervous, he's really quite a chatter box! Talk you miserable beast!" she raised her hand to slap him again, and the donkey stepped away.
"That's it I've heard enough." Said the captain, getting impatient.
"No, he can talk really!" said the old lady, she then grabbed the donkey's mouth and moved it, speaking herself.
"I can talk! I love to talk! I'm the talk-iest damn thing you ever saw!"
There was a pause.
"Get her out of my sight." Said the captain. The guards, on his word grabbed the old lady who began to struggle.
"No he can talk! Really!" she kicked here and there, and her foot then connected with the small cage of the young boy behind her. It soared into the air, that with it's small cargo being a fairy. It then landed on the donkey's head, and fairy dust sprinkled down upon him.
Suddenly he began to rise into the sky, the donkey glanced around, shocked.
"Hey, I can fly!" he declared.
"He can fly!" cried the young boy,
"He can fly!" declared the three little pigs,
"He can talk!" cried the captain a the donkey soared into the air.
"Haha! That's right fool! Now I'm a flying talking donkey! You may have seen a dragon fly, maybe even a super fly, but you ain't never seen a donkey fly!" cheered the donkey as he soared away, but suddenly lost his altitude.
"Uh... oh." He said, and then fell to the floor and landed on his rear.
"Seize him!" screamed the captain.
The donkey panicked as he was grabbed by two guards, but he wiggled loose and ran as fast as his little stubby legs could go. The guards, as well as the captain was in hot pursuit. The donkey kept on running as fast as he can, when he came to an abrupt halt.
He had ran into something, or, someone. He shook his head and looked up, and there stood the ogre, who had been putting up a 'Keep out' sign on a tree. The ogre turned and looked down at the donkey, who just stared back.
"This way! Hurry!" came the voice of some guards, the donkey looked behind him and then took cover behind the huge ogre as the captain and the guards ran up, and soon stopped when they saw the tall ogre stood there.
"You there... ogre." Said the captain,
"Aye?" came the reply from the ogre, hands how on his hips, annoyed that his day has been ruined again by company.
"By the order of Lord Farquaad... I am authorised to place you both under arrest.." the captain's voice was shaking and nervous, due to the fact the ogre was walking towards him slowly.
"..and transport you to a designated resettlement... facility..." the ogre was now stood right in front of him, and there was a deafening silence.
"Oh really?" asked the ogre, leaning down so he was now face to face with the captain. "You 'n what army?" he asked, glancing behind the captain.
The captain of the guards looked behind him, and noted how his guards had retreated. He took a leaflet out of their book and rocketed out of there as fast as he could after his men. The donkey chuckled to himself, and the ogre turned and walked away, hoping this would be the last he saw of both the guards and the donkey.
The donkey watched his new hero walk off, then trotted after him.
"Can I say something to you?" he asked, the ogre still walked on.
"Listen you were really something out there." Said the donkey who was stood behind the ogre to his left. The ogre frowned and looked to his right, but found no donkey. He glanced to his left, but now the donkey went to his right. "Incredible." Claimed the donkey.
The ogre, already annoyed turned around fully.
"Are you talking to-" he stopped, there was no more donkey. "…me?" he blinked and shrugged, then turned back to where he was heading and was shocked to see the donkey now stood in front of him, giving off a started yell.
"Yes I was talkin' to you!" declared the donkey as the ogre walked past him again. "You see you were really great back there! I mean you 'n those guards? They thought they were really somethin' then you came along-"
The donkey hurried after the ogre, and stopped in front of him and reared onto his back hoofs and make an action move with one of his hoofs, making the ogre stop again. "And bam! They were trippin' over themselves like Babes in the wood! I loved seeing that, made me feel happy seeing that." declared the donkey.
The ogre groaned and kept on walking, hoping the donkey will get the hint and leave, but he didn't.
"Man it's good to be free!" added the donkey.
"Oh that's great really." Said the ogre, speaking for the second time, and turned to the donkey. "So why don't you go celebrate with your own friends, hmmm?" he asked leaning down to the donkey. With that said, he walked off again as the donkey stood there.
"But... I don't have any friends. An I'm NOT going out there by myself." Then he had a flash of inspiration. "Wait a minute I got a great idea! I'll stick with you!"
The donkey hurried after the ogre, walking besides him happily, not seeing how annoyed the ogre was.
"You're a mean green fighting machine! With you we'll scare the spit out of anybody who crosses us!" continued the donkey. The ogre came to a halt, then turned and gave off an all mighty roar right into the donkey's face, hoping this would scare him off and give him nightmares for weeks. The donkey stared, now an impressed look came across his face.
"Oh wow! That was really scary!" he declared. The ogre, shocked, frowned and stomped off. "Now if that don't work your breath will certainly do the trick cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something cause your breath STINKS!"
The ogre continued walking, and not hearing the donkey talk for about five seconds made him believe the donkey was gone. Once again he was wrong, the donkey suddenly looked down at him from above, it seemed a tree had fallen near the fallen earth the ogre was walking in, and the donkey was stood on it.
"Man you almost ran my hair up my nose! Just like the time-" the ogre then grabbed the donkey's mouth with his hand, and held it there. The donkey kept talking either way, but it was muffled. The ogre removed his hand... "-I ate some off berries, man I had some strong gas seeping outta my butt that day!"
"WHY are you following me?!" asked the ogre, now annoyed that nothing could shut the donkey up, then continued on his way home.
"I'll tell you why." Said the donkey, who leaped off the tree. As he followed the ogre, he suddenly broke into song!
"Cause I'm all alone, there's no one here besides me!" he came to a stop in front of the ogre, who stopped too. He continued singing, "My problems have all gone, there's no one to derive meee! But you gotta have friends!-"
"STOP SINGING!" yelled the ogre, and the donkey actually did. "Dah, it's no wonder you don't have any friends!" declared the ogre as he grabbed the donkey by the ears and tail, and moved him out of his way.
"Wowww... only a true friend would be that truly honest!" claimed the donkey. The ogre groaned.
"Look, little donkey, take a look at me, what am I?" asked the ogre, opening his arms out. The donkey looked from the ogre's feet to his head.
"Uuuummm... really tall?" was his first guess.
"No! I'm an ogre! You know, grab your torch 'n pitchforks! ...doesn't that bother you?" asked the ogre after the donkey's poor guess.
"Nope!" came the response.
"...really?" asked the ogre, a little bit surprised.
"Really really." Said the donkey happily.
"Oh." Replied the ogre, not sure what to say.
"Man I like you, what's your name?" asked the donkey. The ogre looked a little surprised, no one had asked him his name for a very very long time. It was almost as if he had forgotten it himself.
"Uhh... Shrek." Replied Shrek after a moment, then went on his way again.
"Shrek?" echoed the Donkey, seeing if he got it right, then followed Shrek. "You know what I like about you Shrek? You got that whole, 'I don't care what nobody thinks me' of thing, I like that I respect that."
The donkey continued after Shrek as they headed up a flower filled meadow, then came to a stop. The small grassy meadowy hill over looked Shrek's swamp. Donkey stared.
"Hoo! Look that that! Who'd wanna live in a place like that!" Donkey declared, with some disgust in his voice. Shrek put his hands to his hips.
"That... would be my home." He claimed, then headed down the other side of the small hill. Donkey blinked, he really had put his hoof in it.
"..and it is lovely! Really beautiful! It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget!" Donkey clambered on, then stopped as he saw a boulder.
"I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder." Donkey claimed, then continued after Shrek again, but stopped when he saw the 'Keep Out' signs.
"I guess you don't.. uh, entertain much." Donkey commented.
"I like my privacy." Shrek claimed as he kept walking to his front door, and Donkey trotted after him.
"You know what I do to! That's another thing we got in common! Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face 'n you try to give em a hint and they won't leave! Then there's that big awkward silence.. you know...?"
There was a big awkward silence as Shrek looked back at Donkey. More silence.
"Can I stay with you?" Donkey suddenly asked out of the blue, which shocked Shrek.
"W-what?" he asked, taken back.
"Can I stay with you, please?" Donkey added the magic word.
"Oh of course!" Shrek declared sounding light-hearted.
"Really?" Donkey asked.
"No." Shrek said strictly, and turned again.
"PLEASE don't leave me alone out here! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak!" Donkey hurried up and had now pushed Shrek onto his front door with his hooves. There was a pause as he remembered what Shrek was.
"Well... maybe, ya do... but that's why we gotta stick together! You gotta let me stay PLEASE!" cried Donkey, getting hysterical.
"OKAY! Okay!" Shrek finally gave in as Donkey dropped to the floor. "But for one night only." He added as he opened his door.
"Oh yay!" declared Donkey, and he suddenly shoved past Shrek and leapt onto Shrek's recliner of crocodile skin.
"No-no!" cried Shrek.
"Oh man this'll be great! We can stay up late, swapping manly stories and in the mornin'... I'm making waffles!" declared Donkey as he sat on the recliner. Shrek groaned and held his hands out, as if to strangle the noisy intruder.
"Where do uh, I sleep?" Donkey asked.
"OUTSIDE!" screamed Shrek, pointing outside. Donkey blinked, and his ears drooped.
"Oh... I see, I mean you don't know me and I don't know you..." Donkey said sadly as he leapt to the floor and began to walk out. "Here I go..." he walked past Shrek, and was now outside. "Goodnight." He said sadly, but was replied with a slammed door. He let out a sign.
"You know I do like it outside, I was a donkey I was born out side." He claimed. Shrek, inside sighed to himself and walked away from the door.
"I'll just sit by myself outside... I'm all alone, there's nobody here besides me...
