Part Three
INTRUDERS

Shrek sat at his table after making his dinner. He looked down at his dinner after sipping his drink which contained an eyeball on a stick. These were the time he enjoyed most. He was home, nice and warm, and not bothered by anyone at all. But he paused, and glanced at his front door.

He had mixed feelings about this new acquaintance. Sure, it was the first creature not to judge him by his looks or what he was, but he sure was a talkative little creature.

Meanwhile, Donkey was sat outside, trying to fall asleep on the front step which was hard to do seeing how it was cold, and he had no blanket.

Back inside Shrek was now tucking into his slug, when he heard the front door creak open. Oh boy, annoyance during his dinner. He put his fork and knife on the table.

"I thought I told ya to stay outside!" he cried as he stood up and headed to the door, hoping to shove Donkey back outside.

"I am outside!" came Donkey's voice from outside.

Shrek stopped dead. If Donkey was outside, then who had opened his door, and who was now moving around near his table? He headed back to his table and observed it, everything was normal. Shrek knelt and looked under, then heard voices from his table!

"Well gents, it's a far cry from the farm, but what choice do we have?" he spotted them. Walking amongst his food, were three white mice. Not only that, they were three blind mice! One tripped over his knife, while one knocked over his eye bottle.

"What choice do we have? We've lost our home!" cried one. Shrek then spotted the third sat on his slug dinner.

"What a lovely bed!" claimed the blind mouse, Shrek swatted at him.

"Gotcha!" he declared, but when he opened his hand, the mouse wasn't there. Instead, it was now stood on his shoulder, sniffing his ear.

"I found some cheese!" he declared, and bit Shrek's ear.

"OW!" cried Shrek, and grabbed at the mouse again, who was now on his other shoulder.

"Ergh, awful stuff." Commented the mouse as he leapt onto the dinner.

"Is that you Gordan?" asked one mouse,

"How did you know?" replied Gordan. Shrek, loosing his patience grabbed all three mice by their legs, since they had no tails.

"Enough! What are you doing in my house?!" he asked, but he was stopped short by a blow to the side, and he dropped the mice. He turned and saw seven dwarves stood on the other side of his table, and on the table now was a coffin which had a see through lid. The girl inside had snow white skin, black hair, red ruby lips and was well.. dead.

"Hey! Oh no no no no!" Shrek began to push the coffin off his table which was now a mess due to his squashed dinner, "Dead broad off the table!" he declared. The dwarves shoved it back.

"Well where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken!" declared one dwarf. Shrek stopped short.

"Huh?" he asked. He hurried to his bed and opened the curtain which kept his bed hidden from sight, there, laid comfortably and in granny clothing ,was a wolf!

"...what?" came the irritated voice of the wolf. Shrek, now on the verge of anger grabbed the wolf and dragged him through his house, where the dwarves were getting comfortable.

"I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I'm a terrifying ogre!" Shrek shoved his door opened and hauled the wolf up in the air. "What do I have to do to get a little privacy?!" he screamed as he threw the wolf out of his house. But then he stopped.

"Oh no… oh no!" Shrek screamed.

His home. His lovely, quiet, peaceful swamp was no longer the way he wanted it. It was now swarming with creatures, there was many many beings now there. In the short distance he saw a large shoe, which seemed to have many children running around it, while an old lady was hanging up washing. Near that was two elves who were helping to navigate about four witches to land safely.

Elsewhere there was a man in red clothing, playing pipe and surrounding him there hundreds upon thousands of rats all mesmerized by the song. Sat around a fireplace was two bears, one the Father and his cub sat next to him fast asleep. Elves, lepricons, witches, fairies, unicorns, pigs, wolves, stalks.. any magical creature you can think of, it was there in Shrek's swamp.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?!?!" Shrek suddenly screamed, his voice echoing over all the noise of his swamp. Everyone and everything came to an abrupt halt, all looking at him. Those who were receiving soup from a lady dropped their bowls, elves huddled next to each other in fear.

Shrek eyed everyone, then walked to some elves and dwarves.

"Go on get outta here! Shoo!" he waved his hands, trying to scare them off. But this resulted in them running into his house!

"Oh no no!" he ran after them, but they slammed the door on him. He stopped, and turned to face the large group, his eyes landed on Donkey and he frowned, rather viciously.

"...hey don't look at me I didn't invite em!" Donkey replied.

"Well gee, nobody invited us!" said the small puppet whose nose was now normal again.

"Wh, what?" Shrek asked, walking towards him.

"We were force to come here!" said the puppet, backing away.

"By who?" Shrek asked, he wanted to get to the bottom of this, whoever had ruined his happy home will have a lot to answer for.

"Lord Farquaard." Said a little pig, who had a brick layers hat on. "He huffed und he puffed und he... signed ze eviction notice." He said in a slight German accent.

Lord Farquaard was gonna have a lot to hear from Shrek, that's for sure.

"All right, does anybody know where this... Farquaard guy is?" Shrek asked the group. The creatures seemed to cringe at the mentioning of the Lord's name, he obviously was an evil blighter if he'd done this.

"Anyone at all?" Shrek was desperate to get his swamp back.

"Oh I do, I do!" came the voice of Donkey, happy that he knew where his friend Shrek wanted to go.

"Does anyone ELSE know where to find him?" Shrek was basically pleading, he didn't want to go with Donkey of all people.

"Pick me! Pick me! I know!" Donkey cried happily. A small cub waved his arm, but his father quickly put his arm down.

"Anyone at all...?" Shrek asked again.

"Me me me!" screamed Donkey, "Oh I know!"

"All right... fine." Shrek finally gave in, it was either Donkey, or he'd have to ask a human for directions. Something he'd never do.

"Attention, ALL fairy tale... things." Shrek addressed his huge audience, who was listening to his every word.

"Do NOT get comfortable! Your welcome is already worn out. In fact I'm gonna go and see this Farquaard guy right now and get you ALL off my land and BACK where you came from!" Shrek exclaimed, thinking he was telling them things they didn't want to hear, he got the response he wasn't prepared for.

Cheers. Applause. The creatures were giving him a standing ovation and were cheering loudly about him being their saviour and they were as good as save.

"Urgh." Shrek groaned as he began walking, but suddenly found four little birds had draped him in a flower cloak. He pointed directly at Donkey.

"You. Your comin' with me." He said darkly, and shoved the cape off him and started walking. The birds returned and dropped a flower crown on Donkey's head.

"All right man that's what I like to hear! Shrek 'n Donkey! Two star ward heroes on a mission!" Donkey started after Shrek, who had grabbed a torch from an elf, which still had the elf attached, but with a few good shakes from Shrek, the elf was off.

"On the road again," Donkey began singing again, "I can't wait ta get on the road again!" Shrek turned sharply and pointed at him.

"What did I say about singing?" he asked.

"...well can I whistle it?" Donkey asked as they started off again.

"No."

"Can I hum it?" Donkey asked again.

"Ugh, all right..." Shrek replied. So Donkey began humming a song Shrek had never heard off, and the two would be heroes marched off into the swamp land while being waved off by all the creatures.