Chapter 7
DRAGON EYES
The castle was long ago forgotten by anyone, that was plain as rain. It laid in ruins, most of the towers had crumbled, only one still standing tall. But within the castle itself, alters had crashed, statues ruined and scattered all over the place were the remains of would-be heroes. Such as burnt armour, and skeletons.
Donkey would jump out of his fur any moment if he heard anything, and was sticking close to Shrek, who didn't seem bothered at all by his surroundings.
"You scared?" Donkey asked as he glanced around nervously.
"No... but SHHH!" Shrek put his finger to his lips, hoping to get some quiet even in this place.
"Oh good me neither..." Donkey replied as Shrek walked off. Donkey glanced at a fallen alter and saw a flattened knight under it, yelped, and hurried after Shrek.
"Not like, there's anything wrong with being afraid... Fear is a natural reaction to a certain predicament... like a dragon that breaths fire and knights, it's not bad about being afraid of that, no.. I'm not afraid." Donkey suddenly tripped and fell into a heap of remains that used to be a few knights, one of the knights helmets ending up on his head.
"Donkey, two things." Shrek turned to Donkey, and counted on his fingers. "Shut... up." He then pulled the helmet off Donkey's head, "Now go over there and see if you can find some stairs."
"Stairs? I thought we were looking for the Princess?" Donkey asked after glancing in a direction.
"The Princess will be up the stairs, in the tallest tower." Shrek put the helmet on, then put on the shoulder armour, knee and gloves.
"How do you know she'll be there?" Donkey enquired.
"I read it in a book once." Shrek replied, slamming the hood part down over the helmet, and walked away.
"Well cool. You deal with the dragon, I'll handle the stairs." Donkey trotted off, "I'll find those stairs, I whip their butt too! They don't know which way they'll going!"
Soon Donkey pushed a giant door opened, and entered what used to be a huge dance hall.
"I'll kick em to the curb! Don't mess with me I'm the stair master!" he stopped after he climbed a small set of stairs, unaware that a huge green eye had just opened and was looking at him. A low rumble was heard, which froze Donkey in his tracks and thoughts.
Meanwhile Shrek had entered a square and saw a light on in the tallest tower at the top.
"Well... least we know where the Princess is. But where's the-"
"DRAGON!!!" Donkey's voice screamed out suddenly from within the castle, Shrek turned and saw Donkey running as fast as his stubby legs could carry him, and behind him he saw a long shot of flame shoot out from somewhere. Suddenly there was a large crashing sound, and a huge, red, very angry dragon emerged and was chasing Donkey.
Donkey kept on running and was soon near Shrek when the Dragon opened it's wings and blasted out another fire shoot, Shrek saw what trouble Donkey was in, and shoved him to the side.
"Donkey look out!" he then ducked himself to avoid being flamed, but Donkey kept running and had nowhere to go, and feeling the dragon's hot heavy breath on his hind legs he sprawled out onto the ground and covered his face in fear. The dragon breathed fire again, lighting Donkey's tail, causing him to scream out.
The dragon, eyeing Donkey as a meal walked up and was about to chomp down on him when it felt something grab a hold of it's tail, it turned it's powerful head around and saw Shrek, who had a hold of it's tail.
"Gotcha!" Shrek cried out, the dragon turned it's attention to Shrek as Donkey ran into the base of the tall tower.
The dragon was obviously peeved at having something like Shrek a hold of it's tail, the dragon then began to wave it's tail around, shaking and trying to get Shrek off, but Shrek held on. But suddenly with a mighty swing, Shrek lost his grip and went soaring into the air, and crashed through the roof of the tallest tower, being knocked out by his landing and laid unconscious on the floor, unaware of the red-haired Princess who was laid on the bed.
Meanwhile back on the ground, the dragon suddenly breathed a great deal of fire into the base of the tower, which flushed the Donkey out. Donkey was now running along a bridge that connected the tower with another, but with one swipe of the dragon's tail soon Donkey couldn't go further or backwards.
He shook with fear as the dragon reared up and spread it's wings to their full wingspan, and let out a humongous roar.
"AHH! Oh... Oh my what large teeth you have!" Donkey cried out, the dragon roared in response. "I mean large white sparkling teeth!"
The dragon paused, and stared at Donkey.
"I'm, I'm sure you hear this from your food often but you must bleach or something, cause that's one dazzling smile you got there!" Donkey tried to buy some time, for him to think of something. The dragon seemed very flattered by Donkey's comments on it's teeth, and let out a soft rumble.
"And, and you know what else? You know what else?" Donkey tried to think up something, until the dragon's head bowed down closer to him and he noticed the dragon had pink lipstick on, and eye shadow as well as long eyelashes.
"Your.. a girl dragon! Oh I mean, of COURSE you're a girl! I mean it's so plainly obvious because your reeking of feminine beauty!" The dragon, obviously smitten by Donkey's kind words fluttered her eyelids at him,
"What's the matter with you, you got something in your eye?" Donkey asked, wondering why she was batting her eyelids. The dragon replied with blowing a small ring of smoke into Donkey's face, which to her, formed the shape of a heart.
"Uh-oh... whoa... you know I'd really love to stay," Donkey waved away the smoke with a hoof, "But I'm an asthmatic and I don't think it'll all work out with you blowing smoke rings..." Donkey turned away from her, wondering where his friend was, "SHREK!" he cried.
Seeing her chance, the dragon picked up Donkey by the tail!
"WHOA!! NO NO!!" Donkey screamed as the Dragon happily left the square and back into the castle with Donkey.
"SHREK! HELP!" Donkey's voice soon vanished from ears length.
~*~
Meanwhile up in the tower, Shrek was regaining consciousness. He slowly got to his knees, still unaware of the Princess, still on the bed. She looked the bulky figure of the, to her, man as he got to his feet.
He had finally come, her knight in shining armour had come to rescue her! An idea came to her, and she laid out on the bed, then grabbed a bunch of flowers and laid there again, eyes shut.
Shrek then turned around and saw her, light was penetrating through the only window, making the Princess look like she was some heavenly vision of wonder, well to a human anyway. He made his way up to her bed, and stoped at the bedside, and looked down upon her.
The Princess Fiona could sense the knight being closer to her, and she slowly puckered her lips up ready to be kissed. Shrek's hands went to her shoulders and...
"Wake up!" he suddenly shook her roughly, 'awakening' her.
"What?!" asked Fiona, shocked by the awakening.
"Are you, Princess Fiona?" Shrek asked, the helmet still over his face, covering his ogre appearance.
"I am, awaiting a Knight so bold as to rescue me." She replied, smiling at her saviour.
"Oh that's nice, now let's go." Shrek turned to leave, Fiona sat up on her bed.
"Wait sir Knight! This be'th our first meeting, should it not be a romantic occasion?" she threw herself back onto the bed, with the back of her hand to her forehead.
"Hmm, yes. But no time." Shrek grabbed her by the hand, hauled her to her feet and lead her to the door.
"But this is all wrong! Your supposed to swoop in, sweep me off my feet then out yonder window onto your noble steed!" Fiona cried out as Shrek tried his hand at the door handle, which promptly fell off. He turned to her.
"You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?" he asked, she nodded in reply. Shrek, annoyed at the door put all his weight into it and smashed the door down. Once outside, he ran down the stairway, lugging Princess Fiona with him.
"But we have to savour this moment!" Fiona cried as Shrek grabbed a torch.
"Sorry no time." He replied.
"But you can recite a romantic poem to me! A sonnet? A limerick?! Or something!" They had finally reached the base of the tower, and Fiona freed her hand from his.
"I don't think so." Shrek replied.
"Well, can I at least know the name of my champion?" she asked, since he had never introduced himself.
"Uhmmm... Shrek." Shrek replied as he looked around, wondering where Donkey was.
"So Shrek," Fiona held out a handkerchief to Shrek, "I pray that you take this favour, as a token of my appreciation." Shrek took it from her,
"Uh, thanks." He wiped his grotty brow and handed it back to her.
Suddenly the roar of the dragon echoed through the castle, Fiona turned to Shrek in surprise.
"You didn't slay the dragon!?" she asked.
"It's on my to-do list, now COME ON!" Shrek grabbed her hand and began pulling her through the castle, after the dragon's roar.
"This isn't how it's supposed to happen! Your supposed to charge it, battle the dragon! That's what all the other Knights did!" Fiona exclaimed,
"Yeah, just before they burst into flame!" Shrek eyed a knight's skeleton in it's armour, and on the wall was the imprint of the flame an the knight.
"That's not the point!" Fiona cried.
They had entered a room, where there was a giant cooking pot and besides it a cook book with a Knight's picture on it. Shrek released Fiona from his grip and headed off.
"Wait where are you going? The exit's over there!" she pointed.
"Well I hafta save my ass." Shrek replied, as he headed to a door leading to the dragon's keep.
"What kind of knight are you?" Fiona asked, since this knight was obviously not like any other she'd met.
"One of a kind." Shrek replied, and vanished into the room. He could hear Donkey's voice, but couldn't make out what he was saying. He looked down from the balcony and saw the dragon sat on a large pile of gold, her tail wrapped around Donkey, cooing whenever he spoke. As Shrek came closer, he could hear.
"...I'm no ready for a... physical relationship of this uh.. magnitude, yeah that's the word I was looking for." Dragon was listening to his every word, then ran her claw along his back.
"Hey that is unwanted physical contact!" Donkey declared, then Dragon raised her head hight and lighted the chandelier that hung in the air above the two. "Hey what are you doing?!"
Shrek then noticed the chandelier was round, like a collar and the chain was connected to the ceiling, and an idea formed in his green oddly shaped head. He grabbed onto the other end of the chain and began climbing up it.
"Hey what are you doing?! That's my tail, that's my personal tail aw your gonna tear it off!" Donkey was in some distress since the dragon was now playing with his tail, with her mouth!
Above them Shrek looked up at the reel which had the chains all rolled around it, and began to pull on the chain he was hanging from, then it began to move and then Shrek lost altitude, at the same moment the female dragon was leaning down to give Donkey a smooch on the lips, Shrek lands directly on Donkey, shoving Donkey through the dragon's tail onto the ground, but the dragon ended up kissing Shrek's rear!
And the dragon was obviously angry about this, her head reared up and roared, the moment Shrek let go of the chain. The chandelier fell over her head, like a collar and chain. At that moment Shrek and Donkey ran from the room, up the stairs that surrounded the room.
Dragon lifted her head up and roared, and spat fire out at the being who was stealing Donkey away from her, but the two dodged easily. Up on the balcony Fiona had entered, Shrek, who now had Donkey under one arm raced towards her and carried her under his other arm while running quickly.
"Hi Princess!" Donkey declared happily,
"It talks!" Fiona cried out in surprise,
"Yeah it's gettin' him ta shut up that's the trick!" Shrek replied.
Shrek stopped sort, there wasn't anywhere left to run, only to slide down what used to be a stone alter, and with the dragon in hot pursuit, and I mean hot, he had no other choice but to slide down, hitting bumps and cracks in his sensitive area along the way. They finally landed, and what ensured was a classic chace. Shrek, carrying Donkey and Princess Fiona ran throughout the castle, zig-zagging through the alters, and as the dragon followed, the chain from the new collar weaved around them.
Soon Shrek came to a halt and let go of the two,
"You to, head for the exit!" he cried, Donkey and Fiona didn't have to be told twice and the two were soon running and soon out of sight, "I'll take care of the dragon." Shrek claimed as he picked up a sword, then jammed it down between two chain locks which intervened with each other.
Shrek then high tailed it out of there, and turned the corner to see Donkey and Fiona still going, and knowing the dragon was behind him, he ran fast as he could.
"RUN!" he screamed as he bolted along, and the three reached the wooden bridge, but no time to stop and go slowly, they ran as fast as they could an the dragon paused to breath out another long flame at them, setting the bridge on fire.
The three screamed as the bridge collapsed, but grabbed onto the wooden planks that were still intact, but Donkey having no hands, lost his grip and fell, but was caught by Shrek in time. Fiona screamed as she saw the dragon take flight, but suddenly it couldn't move any more! The chains had been caught up in the sword, which had tightened around the alters, so the dragon couldn't fly any further.
Donkey fainted with relief as Shrek hauled him to safety, leaving the dragon, who looked very upset about the loss of her love.
DRAGON EYES
The castle was long ago forgotten by anyone, that was plain as rain. It laid in ruins, most of the towers had crumbled, only one still standing tall. But within the castle itself, alters had crashed, statues ruined and scattered all over the place were the remains of would-be heroes. Such as burnt armour, and skeletons.
Donkey would jump out of his fur any moment if he heard anything, and was sticking close to Shrek, who didn't seem bothered at all by his surroundings.
"You scared?" Donkey asked as he glanced around nervously.
"No... but SHHH!" Shrek put his finger to his lips, hoping to get some quiet even in this place.
"Oh good me neither..." Donkey replied as Shrek walked off. Donkey glanced at a fallen alter and saw a flattened knight under it, yelped, and hurried after Shrek.
"Not like, there's anything wrong with being afraid... Fear is a natural reaction to a certain predicament... like a dragon that breaths fire and knights, it's not bad about being afraid of that, no.. I'm not afraid." Donkey suddenly tripped and fell into a heap of remains that used to be a few knights, one of the knights helmets ending up on his head.
"Donkey, two things." Shrek turned to Donkey, and counted on his fingers. "Shut... up." He then pulled the helmet off Donkey's head, "Now go over there and see if you can find some stairs."
"Stairs? I thought we were looking for the Princess?" Donkey asked after glancing in a direction.
"The Princess will be up the stairs, in the tallest tower." Shrek put the helmet on, then put on the shoulder armour, knee and gloves.
"How do you know she'll be there?" Donkey enquired.
"I read it in a book once." Shrek replied, slamming the hood part down over the helmet, and walked away.
"Well cool. You deal with the dragon, I'll handle the stairs." Donkey trotted off, "I'll find those stairs, I whip their butt too! They don't know which way they'll going!"
Soon Donkey pushed a giant door opened, and entered what used to be a huge dance hall.
"I'll kick em to the curb! Don't mess with me I'm the stair master!" he stopped after he climbed a small set of stairs, unaware that a huge green eye had just opened and was looking at him. A low rumble was heard, which froze Donkey in his tracks and thoughts.
Meanwhile Shrek had entered a square and saw a light on in the tallest tower at the top.
"Well... least we know where the Princess is. But where's the-"
"DRAGON!!!" Donkey's voice screamed out suddenly from within the castle, Shrek turned and saw Donkey running as fast as his stubby legs could carry him, and behind him he saw a long shot of flame shoot out from somewhere. Suddenly there was a large crashing sound, and a huge, red, very angry dragon emerged and was chasing Donkey.
Donkey kept on running and was soon near Shrek when the Dragon opened it's wings and blasted out another fire shoot, Shrek saw what trouble Donkey was in, and shoved him to the side.
"Donkey look out!" he then ducked himself to avoid being flamed, but Donkey kept running and had nowhere to go, and feeling the dragon's hot heavy breath on his hind legs he sprawled out onto the ground and covered his face in fear. The dragon breathed fire again, lighting Donkey's tail, causing him to scream out.
The dragon, eyeing Donkey as a meal walked up and was about to chomp down on him when it felt something grab a hold of it's tail, it turned it's powerful head around and saw Shrek, who had a hold of it's tail.
"Gotcha!" Shrek cried out, the dragon turned it's attention to Shrek as Donkey ran into the base of the tall tower.
The dragon was obviously peeved at having something like Shrek a hold of it's tail, the dragon then began to wave it's tail around, shaking and trying to get Shrek off, but Shrek held on. But suddenly with a mighty swing, Shrek lost his grip and went soaring into the air, and crashed through the roof of the tallest tower, being knocked out by his landing and laid unconscious on the floor, unaware of the red-haired Princess who was laid on the bed.
Meanwhile back on the ground, the dragon suddenly breathed a great deal of fire into the base of the tower, which flushed the Donkey out. Donkey was now running along a bridge that connected the tower with another, but with one swipe of the dragon's tail soon Donkey couldn't go further or backwards.
He shook with fear as the dragon reared up and spread it's wings to their full wingspan, and let out a humongous roar.
"AHH! Oh... Oh my what large teeth you have!" Donkey cried out, the dragon roared in response. "I mean large white sparkling teeth!"
The dragon paused, and stared at Donkey.
"I'm, I'm sure you hear this from your food often but you must bleach or something, cause that's one dazzling smile you got there!" Donkey tried to buy some time, for him to think of something. The dragon seemed very flattered by Donkey's comments on it's teeth, and let out a soft rumble.
"And, and you know what else? You know what else?" Donkey tried to think up something, until the dragon's head bowed down closer to him and he noticed the dragon had pink lipstick on, and eye shadow as well as long eyelashes.
"Your.. a girl dragon! Oh I mean, of COURSE you're a girl! I mean it's so plainly obvious because your reeking of feminine beauty!" The dragon, obviously smitten by Donkey's kind words fluttered her eyelids at him,
"What's the matter with you, you got something in your eye?" Donkey asked, wondering why she was batting her eyelids. The dragon replied with blowing a small ring of smoke into Donkey's face, which to her, formed the shape of a heart.
"Uh-oh... whoa... you know I'd really love to stay," Donkey waved away the smoke with a hoof, "But I'm an asthmatic and I don't think it'll all work out with you blowing smoke rings..." Donkey turned away from her, wondering where his friend was, "SHREK!" he cried.
Seeing her chance, the dragon picked up Donkey by the tail!
"WHOA!! NO NO!!" Donkey screamed as the Dragon happily left the square and back into the castle with Donkey.
"SHREK! HELP!" Donkey's voice soon vanished from ears length.
~*~
Meanwhile up in the tower, Shrek was regaining consciousness. He slowly got to his knees, still unaware of the Princess, still on the bed. She looked the bulky figure of the, to her, man as he got to his feet.
He had finally come, her knight in shining armour had come to rescue her! An idea came to her, and she laid out on the bed, then grabbed a bunch of flowers and laid there again, eyes shut.
Shrek then turned around and saw her, light was penetrating through the only window, making the Princess look like she was some heavenly vision of wonder, well to a human anyway. He made his way up to her bed, and stoped at the bedside, and looked down upon her.
The Princess Fiona could sense the knight being closer to her, and she slowly puckered her lips up ready to be kissed. Shrek's hands went to her shoulders and...
"Wake up!" he suddenly shook her roughly, 'awakening' her.
"What?!" asked Fiona, shocked by the awakening.
"Are you, Princess Fiona?" Shrek asked, the helmet still over his face, covering his ogre appearance.
"I am, awaiting a Knight so bold as to rescue me." She replied, smiling at her saviour.
"Oh that's nice, now let's go." Shrek turned to leave, Fiona sat up on her bed.
"Wait sir Knight! This be'th our first meeting, should it not be a romantic occasion?" she threw herself back onto the bed, with the back of her hand to her forehead.
"Hmm, yes. But no time." Shrek grabbed her by the hand, hauled her to her feet and lead her to the door.
"But this is all wrong! Your supposed to swoop in, sweep me off my feet then out yonder window onto your noble steed!" Fiona cried out as Shrek tried his hand at the door handle, which promptly fell off. He turned to her.
"You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?" he asked, she nodded in reply. Shrek, annoyed at the door put all his weight into it and smashed the door down. Once outside, he ran down the stairway, lugging Princess Fiona with him.
"But we have to savour this moment!" Fiona cried as Shrek grabbed a torch.
"Sorry no time." He replied.
"But you can recite a romantic poem to me! A sonnet? A limerick?! Or something!" They had finally reached the base of the tower, and Fiona freed her hand from his.
"I don't think so." Shrek replied.
"Well, can I at least know the name of my champion?" she asked, since he had never introduced himself.
"Uhmmm... Shrek." Shrek replied as he looked around, wondering where Donkey was.
"So Shrek," Fiona held out a handkerchief to Shrek, "I pray that you take this favour, as a token of my appreciation." Shrek took it from her,
"Uh, thanks." He wiped his grotty brow and handed it back to her.
Suddenly the roar of the dragon echoed through the castle, Fiona turned to Shrek in surprise.
"You didn't slay the dragon!?" she asked.
"It's on my to-do list, now COME ON!" Shrek grabbed her hand and began pulling her through the castle, after the dragon's roar.
"This isn't how it's supposed to happen! Your supposed to charge it, battle the dragon! That's what all the other Knights did!" Fiona exclaimed,
"Yeah, just before they burst into flame!" Shrek eyed a knight's skeleton in it's armour, and on the wall was the imprint of the flame an the knight.
"That's not the point!" Fiona cried.
They had entered a room, where there was a giant cooking pot and besides it a cook book with a Knight's picture on it. Shrek released Fiona from his grip and headed off.
"Wait where are you going? The exit's over there!" she pointed.
"Well I hafta save my ass." Shrek replied, as he headed to a door leading to the dragon's keep.
"What kind of knight are you?" Fiona asked, since this knight was obviously not like any other she'd met.
"One of a kind." Shrek replied, and vanished into the room. He could hear Donkey's voice, but couldn't make out what he was saying. He looked down from the balcony and saw the dragon sat on a large pile of gold, her tail wrapped around Donkey, cooing whenever he spoke. As Shrek came closer, he could hear.
"...I'm no ready for a... physical relationship of this uh.. magnitude, yeah that's the word I was looking for." Dragon was listening to his every word, then ran her claw along his back.
"Hey that is unwanted physical contact!" Donkey declared, then Dragon raised her head hight and lighted the chandelier that hung in the air above the two. "Hey what are you doing?!"
Shrek then noticed the chandelier was round, like a collar and the chain was connected to the ceiling, and an idea formed in his green oddly shaped head. He grabbed onto the other end of the chain and began climbing up it.
"Hey what are you doing?! That's my tail, that's my personal tail aw your gonna tear it off!" Donkey was in some distress since the dragon was now playing with his tail, with her mouth!
Above them Shrek looked up at the reel which had the chains all rolled around it, and began to pull on the chain he was hanging from, then it began to move and then Shrek lost altitude, at the same moment the female dragon was leaning down to give Donkey a smooch on the lips, Shrek lands directly on Donkey, shoving Donkey through the dragon's tail onto the ground, but the dragon ended up kissing Shrek's rear!
And the dragon was obviously angry about this, her head reared up and roared, the moment Shrek let go of the chain. The chandelier fell over her head, like a collar and chain. At that moment Shrek and Donkey ran from the room, up the stairs that surrounded the room.
Dragon lifted her head up and roared, and spat fire out at the being who was stealing Donkey away from her, but the two dodged easily. Up on the balcony Fiona had entered, Shrek, who now had Donkey under one arm raced towards her and carried her under his other arm while running quickly.
"Hi Princess!" Donkey declared happily,
"It talks!" Fiona cried out in surprise,
"Yeah it's gettin' him ta shut up that's the trick!" Shrek replied.
Shrek stopped sort, there wasn't anywhere left to run, only to slide down what used to be a stone alter, and with the dragon in hot pursuit, and I mean hot, he had no other choice but to slide down, hitting bumps and cracks in his sensitive area along the way. They finally landed, and what ensured was a classic chace. Shrek, carrying Donkey and Princess Fiona ran throughout the castle, zig-zagging through the alters, and as the dragon followed, the chain from the new collar weaved around them.
Soon Shrek came to a halt and let go of the two,
"You to, head for the exit!" he cried, Donkey and Fiona didn't have to be told twice and the two were soon running and soon out of sight, "I'll take care of the dragon." Shrek claimed as he picked up a sword, then jammed it down between two chain locks which intervened with each other.
Shrek then high tailed it out of there, and turned the corner to see Donkey and Fiona still going, and knowing the dragon was behind him, he ran fast as he could.
"RUN!" he screamed as he bolted along, and the three reached the wooden bridge, but no time to stop and go slowly, they ran as fast as they could an the dragon paused to breath out another long flame at them, setting the bridge on fire.
The three screamed as the bridge collapsed, but grabbed onto the wooden planks that were still intact, but Donkey having no hands, lost his grip and fell, but was caught by Shrek in time. Fiona screamed as she saw the dragon take flight, but suddenly it couldn't move any more! The chains had been caught up in the sword, which had tightened around the alters, so the dragon couldn't fly any further.
Donkey fainted with relief as Shrek hauled him to safety, leaving the dragon, who looked very upset about the loss of her love.
