~.~Sure~.~
Touya sat staring at his chemistry homework. He slammed down his pen and fell back on his bed. He couldn't think straight. Every time he tried to focus all he saw was Yukito's face. The hurt look in his eyes. Touya knew he was the cause. He had been purposely avoiding his best friend and even took a new route home now. It had almost been too much for him when he had seen Yukito sitting alone and dejected at lunch. In the short time Touya watched him, several people went up to the grey haired youth and asked if he'd like to join them, but he only politely declined. He was waiting for him. Touya knew that Yukito valued their 'private' time emmensely and as he saw the tears brim in his friend's eyes he knew he had hurt the other deeply. A part of him wanted to reach out and comfort the boy, but he just couldn't do it. They had classes together, as usual, but he never looked at Yukito now, though he could often feel the boy's gaze upon him. Mystified by Yukito's continued inattentiveness the teacher abusively reprimanded the frail boy, and Touya felt his heart break as he observed the broken and hurt look plainly evident on the snow bunny's face. All his fault. People asked if they'd had a fight. If only. At least that would have been easier to figure out and solve.
So what exactly happened? Well at first all had been right with the world. He could scarcely believe he had found a friend who understood him so well. He had always closed off his emotions to those around him, but with Yukito he felt like he could be himself. It was perfect. Then, several weeks ago Touya sensed a change in Yukito's attitude towards him. He had noticed the boy gazing at him sometimes, with a serene look in his eyes. Yukito seemed to find any excuse to touch him. The little genki was always hugging him for no real reason or brushing their hands softly together. So it probably shouldn't have been such a huge surprise when Touya finally figured out his friend's true intentions. But, as it was he was so unnerved that he couldn't bear to be around Yukito anymore. All too clearly did he remember the lost look on the other's face as he had turned and half ran away when the boy had called to him cheerily in the halls that day.
What was he so afraid of? Why couldn't he just talk to Yukito? This was getting ridiculous. They were best friends, and friends should be able to talk about anything. He made his decision and left the house in a whirl. He walked with pure determination, but once he got to Yukito's door his breath caught in his throat. He began breathing heavily, but knocked on the door anyway, somehow resisting the urge to ran away. He heard quiet footsteps approaching the door. 'Do not run. Do not run.' It opened with a pleasant,
"Konichiwa!"
The face that accompanied the warm greeting visibly paled when Yukito saw it was Touya who graced his door step. They stared at each other for a moment before Touya realised that he had been holding his breath and he let it out in an awkward cough. Yukito showed no signs of moving however, obviously lost in his own toughts, so they simply stood under the stars in uncomfortable silence. Finally remembering his manners Yukito invited Touya in, tough it was clear that both teens would have rathed been anywhere other than their current position.
Touya could see Yukito was nervous, so he decided to begin,
"Yukito..." he paused at the downcast look on his friend's face following the use of his full name. No more pet names. It was things like that which had obviously confused Yukito. He continued,
"I know how you feel about me."
Touya clamped his hand over his mouth immediately. He hadn't meant to just blurt it out like that! Yukito's eyes widened, he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. However he didn't need words for his eyes spoke volumes as they allowed Touya to see all the emotion they held within. They pleaded with Touya to understand and accept. The light brown orbs sparkled with a sadness that touched Touya at the very core of his being. He almost hated himself, but he had to do this. Yukito had to know where they stood. As they stared into one another's eyes Touya made his own feelings clear and before he even moved to speak again he knew Yukito understood.
"I'm sorry, but I just can't return your feelings." Yukito's face was ashen. He cast his eyes downward without a word and the pair stood in discomforting silence.
Finally Yukito looked up and his expression was almost unreadable.
"Mo suki desu." , three simple words and yet Yukito's voice held so much emotion that Touya wanted nothing more than to comfort him. But he knew couldn't, he was doing the right thing. Yukito continued softly after a moment,
"I love you so much..." Touya could see the tears now as his ex-best friend struggled to continue.
"I'm certain of what I feel for you, but unforetunately that's not what matters here. What does matter is how you feel, and regardless of how much I hope and dream, you're just not sure. Why can't you..."
The other trailed off again, silvery tears now running freely down his face. His voice trembled as though it were requiring every particle of his being to talk,
"Anyway, so when you sort through your feelings give me a call, kay." he smiled weakly though Touya could plainly see the pain thinly veiled beneath the smile.
Touya felt nauseous, his stomach was in knots and his head spun. He knew what Yukito meant, but he could never admit it. He could never admit to that and still be the same person. It was too much for him. He couldn't handle it, he had to get out. Shaking violently he turned and made to leave the house. They had been so good together, maybe... No. This was as it should be. He had made his decision and he was sticking to it. But as he stopped at the door listening to the falling tears he really had to wonder if he had done the right thing. Yuki was devastated and he was no better off. But he convinced himself that it was all for the best and whispered a, "I'm sorry." before stepping out into the darkness. Behind him Yukito callapsed, crumbling to the floor as he watched his one and only, his love, his life, walk away from him forever.
After rewriting this I liked it a lot so I decided to post and see what others think. Of course, if you want a sequel you have only to ask and I shall deliver.
Touya sat staring at his chemistry homework. He slammed down his pen and fell back on his bed. He couldn't think straight. Every time he tried to focus all he saw was Yukito's face. The hurt look in his eyes. Touya knew he was the cause. He had been purposely avoiding his best friend and even took a new route home now. It had almost been too much for him when he had seen Yukito sitting alone and dejected at lunch. In the short time Touya watched him, several people went up to the grey haired youth and asked if he'd like to join them, but he only politely declined. He was waiting for him. Touya knew that Yukito valued their 'private' time emmensely and as he saw the tears brim in his friend's eyes he knew he had hurt the other deeply. A part of him wanted to reach out and comfort the boy, but he just couldn't do it. They had classes together, as usual, but he never looked at Yukito now, though he could often feel the boy's gaze upon him. Mystified by Yukito's continued inattentiveness the teacher abusively reprimanded the frail boy, and Touya felt his heart break as he observed the broken and hurt look plainly evident on the snow bunny's face. All his fault. People asked if they'd had a fight. If only. At least that would have been easier to figure out and solve.
So what exactly happened? Well at first all had been right with the world. He could scarcely believe he had found a friend who understood him so well. He had always closed off his emotions to those around him, but with Yukito he felt like he could be himself. It was perfect. Then, several weeks ago Touya sensed a change in Yukito's attitude towards him. He had noticed the boy gazing at him sometimes, with a serene look in his eyes. Yukito seemed to find any excuse to touch him. The little genki was always hugging him for no real reason or brushing their hands softly together. So it probably shouldn't have been such a huge surprise when Touya finally figured out his friend's true intentions. But, as it was he was so unnerved that he couldn't bear to be around Yukito anymore. All too clearly did he remember the lost look on the other's face as he had turned and half ran away when the boy had called to him cheerily in the halls that day.
What was he so afraid of? Why couldn't he just talk to Yukito? This was getting ridiculous. They were best friends, and friends should be able to talk about anything. He made his decision and left the house in a whirl. He walked with pure determination, but once he got to Yukito's door his breath caught in his throat. He began breathing heavily, but knocked on the door anyway, somehow resisting the urge to ran away. He heard quiet footsteps approaching the door. 'Do not run. Do not run.' It opened with a pleasant,
"Konichiwa!"
The face that accompanied the warm greeting visibly paled when Yukito saw it was Touya who graced his door step. They stared at each other for a moment before Touya realised that he had been holding his breath and he let it out in an awkward cough. Yukito showed no signs of moving however, obviously lost in his own toughts, so they simply stood under the stars in uncomfortable silence. Finally remembering his manners Yukito invited Touya in, tough it was clear that both teens would have rathed been anywhere other than their current position.
Touya could see Yukito was nervous, so he decided to begin,
"Yukito..." he paused at the downcast look on his friend's face following the use of his full name. No more pet names. It was things like that which had obviously confused Yukito. He continued,
"I know how you feel about me."
Touya clamped his hand over his mouth immediately. He hadn't meant to just blurt it out like that! Yukito's eyes widened, he opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. However he didn't need words for his eyes spoke volumes as they allowed Touya to see all the emotion they held within. They pleaded with Touya to understand and accept. The light brown orbs sparkled with a sadness that touched Touya at the very core of his being. He almost hated himself, but he had to do this. Yukito had to know where they stood. As they stared into one another's eyes Touya made his own feelings clear and before he even moved to speak again he knew Yukito understood.
"I'm sorry, but I just can't return your feelings." Yukito's face was ashen. He cast his eyes downward without a word and the pair stood in discomforting silence.
Finally Yukito looked up and his expression was almost unreadable.
"Mo suki desu." , three simple words and yet Yukito's voice held so much emotion that Touya wanted nothing more than to comfort him. But he knew couldn't, he was doing the right thing. Yukito continued softly after a moment,
"I love you so much..." Touya could see the tears now as his ex-best friend struggled to continue.
"I'm certain of what I feel for you, but unforetunately that's not what matters here. What does matter is how you feel, and regardless of how much I hope and dream, you're just not sure. Why can't you..."
The other trailed off again, silvery tears now running freely down his face. His voice trembled as though it were requiring every particle of his being to talk,
"Anyway, so when you sort through your feelings give me a call, kay." he smiled weakly though Touya could plainly see the pain thinly veiled beneath the smile.
Touya felt nauseous, his stomach was in knots and his head spun. He knew what Yukito meant, but he could never admit it. He could never admit to that and still be the same person. It was too much for him. He couldn't handle it, he had to get out. Shaking violently he turned and made to leave the house. They had been so good together, maybe... No. This was as it should be. He had made his decision and he was sticking to it. But as he stopped at the door listening to the falling tears he really had to wonder if he had done the right thing. Yuki was devastated and he was no better off. But he convinced himself that it was all for the best and whispered a, "I'm sorry." before stepping out into the darkness. Behind him Yukito callapsed, crumbling to the floor as he watched his one and only, his love, his life, walk away from him forever.
After rewriting this I liked it a lot so I decided to post and see what others think. Of course, if you want a sequel you have only to ask and I shall deliver.
