All Over Again... Squall/Chichiri
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FY/FFVIII crossover.
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It hurts, why... why did I lose my temper again? Shouldn't I have learned from my last life what it does? I already know that Kouren loved me, and never meant to hurt me, and I know that Hikou forgave me. So, why did I become so enraged?
Was it... my memories as Squall? The hatred I developed in this life towards my best friend? Hikou! I'm sorry!
I know now, that life is a horrible cycle for those that don't learn. It hurts to know that I have that scar again. Two scars, two errors, two lives. It's like a disgusting reminder of what I've done. If I'm reborn again, will I make the same mistake? Get another scar?
I groan, and open my one good eye. I stay in Squall's from. It'll be easier that way. I won't have to explain anything to Dr. Kadowaki. I almost turned into Chichiri while I fought to save Seifer's life. I was knocked out before it happened completely. It was certainly a way to rush into my memories as Chichiri again. I wonder, if the others are suffering like this.
"Squall, I'm afraid you'll be blind in one eye," she explains.
I shrug, expecting it. The pain is familar, like an old friend. I reach up and touch my eye bandaged in thick gauze.
"Try not to irritate it."
"I won't Doc." I smile and make is seem like I'm comfortable with the scar. In a way, I think I am.
"By the way," she adds, "You have an old friend here to visit you. I'm not quite sure who he is since I don't recognize him, but he insists that he needs to see you."
I sit up. "Let him in," I say, not quite sure who wants to talk to me.
She nods and heads out of the room. I hear some muffled talking and soon a familar red-haired boy bounds into the room. He's cries, "Chichiri!"
My good eye wideneds and I cry, "Tasuki!"
He hugs me, maybe a little too hard, but I miss him so much I don't care. He's sobbing and going off in ancient Chinese about how he couldn't stop the log. I caress his hair, wondering at the same time who he really is in this life. "Ooi, Tasuki," I say, "Don't feel bad. It's my fault anyway."
~*~
Tasuki pulled away and shook his head angerily. "No! No way Chichiri! It's all fate! Like a horrible cycle!"
"So what? We're supposed to find the Miko again?" Squall replied, frowning.
The firey haired boy's eyebrows form a question mark. He stares at me. "What are you talking about? This isn't the same world."
Squall looked down at his hands. "It's not even Miaka's world." He held up a hand and stared at it. "We don't even look the same... who are you anyway?"
Tasuki grinned and made motions of punching. "The name's Zell Dincht!"
~*~
I'm taken aback. The loud, obnoxious boy is Tasuki? I start to cry. I knew I had feelings for him, even before I remembered who I was.
He's trying to console me. I'm smiling, crying... my emotions are confused, but I don't care. I'm happier than I'd ever been, and sadder than I could understand. "Tasuki," I murmur as I'm taken into a hug again. "I'm so happy... yet so sad..."
"C'mon Chichiri! I know you love Rin- erm... Kou- That girl, but you gotta get over it! Accep-"
I slap him. He always talked to much. He looks at me like I'm crazy. I touch his head gently. "Tasuki, I loved Rinoa, and I loved Kouren, but I also loved you, remember? They're all differnt kinds of loves." I'm speaking with Squall's low, quiet voice. "That's not what's made me sad... it's just... I couldn't help myself. I lost Hikou for the third time, and I lost Kouren for the second."
"Hey, come on Squall," he says with Zell's higher, more excited voice. "It'll be alright. You'll come to accept it again."
"It'll still be with me," I insist.
"Like that scar will," he says, and touches the scar upon my nose. Then he brushes his fingers against the gauze over my eye. "Don't think of it as a nasty reminder of what you did, but instead... it's a gift from your two dearest friends. A lasting memory of how you feel about them."
His hair is lightening, his eyes no longer amber. I know he's turning back into Zell, but I can tell by his warmth that he'll still have his memories. "It's better if we stay in these forms," he says with a smile.
I nod.
~*~
Zell pushed Squall to the bed and pulled the sheets over his friend. "You gotta rest. I gotta funny feelin' you can't conjure up that mask anymore."
"Don't be so sure Tasuki." He held up a hand and made motions of casting a spell.
"Hey now! I don't want ya hidin' for me again!" He made a grab for Squall's arm, pinning it to the bed. "No mask, ya hear?"
"No mask!"
"Alright then!" Zell grinned and bid a quick goodbye as Dr. Kadowaki appeared tapping at her wrist. She had a bewildered look on her face as the now blonde haired boy ran past.
Squall laughed, and the doctor sighed saying something about not getting enough sleep. She shook it off and went to change his bandages. She cut the gauze free and examined the scar, sewn up and no longer bloody. "This is-"
"Going to take me a while to heal?" Squall suggested, finishing her sentence.
Dr. Kadowaki blinked for a moment and nodded. "Yes, it will, and it will leave a scar like the one near the bridge of your nose."
Squall sighed and nodded. "I know," he said glumly.
"But, you should be out of here by next week at the rate you're healing."
He smiled.
~*~
I suppose coming back just induced my near human ability to heal as a Sichiseishi. The doc seems almost bewildered. I'm wondering right now, if Mitsukake was around, would I have this scar? Maybe I'd be blind... but would I have the scar?
I'm packing up the stuff I got during my stay in the infirmary. I learned just earlier that they found Rinoa and Seifer's bodies. Suzaku must be smiling down on me in this life. I never got to pay my respects to them when they died last time. Still, I wonder what it'd be like if she was still alive. I don't feel the same way anymore. I'd have to break up with her.
I laugh at the thought, realizing that she had alreading broken up with me because she can't be insincere. "You were never insincere Kouren," I whisper as I leave the sick bay, my arms filled with flowers... mostly from Tasuki.
Quistis is outside to greet me. I back off slightly as she waves at me. Why didn't I notice be-- oh right, I didn't remember who I was before. Suddenly she looks like Chiriko. I start to cry. Chiriko, the youngest Seishi was now older than me... and hell, I was the oldest before.
"Oh Squall," I hear her say, "You look horrible... and why are you crying?"
~*~
Squall blinked back the tears in good eye. "Oh, I'm just glad to see not everyone I care about died."
Quistis stared at him. His voice was slightly higher, happier. It was a change that was unexpected but it seemed to be a good thing. She smiled and gave him a gentle hug, as to avoid crushing the gifts. "Squall... the funeral will be tommorrow," she whispered into his ear.
He nodded as she took some of the items into her arms. "Zell's been bouncing around all day hearing about your release. I swear, I've never seen him so happy!" She laughed and the two of them headed towards the dormitory. "And, to be perfectly honest... you don't look as broken up as I would have assumed," she added quickly.
"Past experiences told me to move on. I can't dwell on these things again. I have to understand that Hi- Seifer apologized and forgave me, and that Kou- Rinoa really, trully loved me. She never meant to betray me." Squall stopped short and looked up at the sky adding, "Suzaku made sure of it. He made sure I learned from my wrongs."
"Suzaku?"
"The oriental god of the south, the pheonix."
"Yeah, I know! Genbu the turtle, Byakko the tiger, Suzaku and Seiryuu the dragon.
Squall smiled. "Good! You know!"
Quistis stared at him in confusion. "What are you ta-"
"Squall!!" Zell bounded down the hall way and jumped on his friend. He started babbling off in ancient Chinese, while Squall started to scold him in the same language.
The young woman backed off, placing the gifts carefully on the floor. "Well.. I better go," she said slowly before running off.
Was it... my memories as Squall? The hatred I developed in this life towards my best friend? Hikou! I'm sorry!
I know now, that life is a horrible cycle for those that don't learn. It hurts to know that I have that scar again. Two scars, two errors, two lives. It's like a disgusting reminder of what I've done. If I'm reborn again, will I make the same mistake? Get another scar?
I groan, and open my one good eye. I stay in Squall's from. It'll be easier that way. I won't have to explain anything to Dr. Kadowaki. I almost turned into Chichiri while I fought to save Seifer's life. I was knocked out before it happened completely. It was certainly a way to rush into my memories as Chichiri again. I wonder, if the others are suffering like this.
"Squall, I'm afraid you'll be blind in one eye," she explains.
I shrug, expecting it. The pain is familar, like an old friend. I reach up and touch my eye bandaged in thick gauze.
"Try not to irritate it."
"I won't Doc." I smile and make is seem like I'm comfortable with the scar. In a way, I think I am.
"By the way," she adds, "You have an old friend here to visit you. I'm not quite sure who he is since I don't recognize him, but he insists that he needs to see you."
I sit up. "Let him in," I say, not quite sure who wants to talk to me.
She nods and heads out of the room. I hear some muffled talking and soon a familar red-haired boy bounds into the room. He's cries, "Chichiri!"
My good eye wideneds and I cry, "Tasuki!"
He hugs me, maybe a little too hard, but I miss him so much I don't care. He's sobbing and going off in ancient Chinese about how he couldn't stop the log. I caress his hair, wondering at the same time who he really is in this life. "Ooi, Tasuki," I say, "Don't feel bad. It's my fault anyway."
~*~
Tasuki pulled away and shook his head angerily. "No! No way Chichiri! It's all fate! Like a horrible cycle!"
"So what? We're supposed to find the Miko again?" Squall replied, frowning.
The firey haired boy's eyebrows form a question mark. He stares at me. "What are you talking about? This isn't the same world."
Squall looked down at his hands. "It's not even Miaka's world." He held up a hand and stared at it. "We don't even look the same... who are you anyway?"
Tasuki grinned and made motions of punching. "The name's Zell Dincht!"
~*~
I'm taken aback. The loud, obnoxious boy is Tasuki? I start to cry. I knew I had feelings for him, even before I remembered who I was.
He's trying to console me. I'm smiling, crying... my emotions are confused, but I don't care. I'm happier than I'd ever been, and sadder than I could understand. "Tasuki," I murmur as I'm taken into a hug again. "I'm so happy... yet so sad..."
"C'mon Chichiri! I know you love Rin- erm... Kou- That girl, but you gotta get over it! Accep-"
I slap him. He always talked to much. He looks at me like I'm crazy. I touch his head gently. "Tasuki, I loved Rinoa, and I loved Kouren, but I also loved you, remember? They're all differnt kinds of loves." I'm speaking with Squall's low, quiet voice. "That's not what's made me sad... it's just... I couldn't help myself. I lost Hikou for the third time, and I lost Kouren for the second."
"Hey, come on Squall," he says with Zell's higher, more excited voice. "It'll be alright. You'll come to accept it again."
"It'll still be with me," I insist.
"Like that scar will," he says, and touches the scar upon my nose. Then he brushes his fingers against the gauze over my eye. "Don't think of it as a nasty reminder of what you did, but instead... it's a gift from your two dearest friends. A lasting memory of how you feel about them."
His hair is lightening, his eyes no longer amber. I know he's turning back into Zell, but I can tell by his warmth that he'll still have his memories. "It's better if we stay in these forms," he says with a smile.
I nod.
~*~
Zell pushed Squall to the bed and pulled the sheets over his friend. "You gotta rest. I gotta funny feelin' you can't conjure up that mask anymore."
"Don't be so sure Tasuki." He held up a hand and made motions of casting a spell.
"Hey now! I don't want ya hidin' for me again!" He made a grab for Squall's arm, pinning it to the bed. "No mask, ya hear?"
"No mask!"
"Alright then!" Zell grinned and bid a quick goodbye as Dr. Kadowaki appeared tapping at her wrist. She had a bewildered look on her face as the now blonde haired boy ran past.
Squall laughed, and the doctor sighed saying something about not getting enough sleep. She shook it off and went to change his bandages. She cut the gauze free and examined the scar, sewn up and no longer bloody. "This is-"
"Going to take me a while to heal?" Squall suggested, finishing her sentence.
Dr. Kadowaki blinked for a moment and nodded. "Yes, it will, and it will leave a scar like the one near the bridge of your nose."
Squall sighed and nodded. "I know," he said glumly.
"But, you should be out of here by next week at the rate you're healing."
He smiled.
~*~
I suppose coming back just induced my near human ability to heal as a Sichiseishi. The doc seems almost bewildered. I'm wondering right now, if Mitsukake was around, would I have this scar? Maybe I'd be blind... but would I have the scar?
I'm packing up the stuff I got during my stay in the infirmary. I learned just earlier that they found Rinoa and Seifer's bodies. Suzaku must be smiling down on me in this life. I never got to pay my respects to them when they died last time. Still, I wonder what it'd be like if she was still alive. I don't feel the same way anymore. I'd have to break up with her.
I laugh at the thought, realizing that she had alreading broken up with me because she can't be insincere. "You were never insincere Kouren," I whisper as I leave the sick bay, my arms filled with flowers... mostly from Tasuki.
Quistis is outside to greet me. I back off slightly as she waves at me. Why didn't I notice be-- oh right, I didn't remember who I was before. Suddenly she looks like Chiriko. I start to cry. Chiriko, the youngest Seishi was now older than me... and hell, I was the oldest before.
"Oh Squall," I hear her say, "You look horrible... and why are you crying?"
~*~
Squall blinked back the tears in good eye. "Oh, I'm just glad to see not everyone I care about died."
Quistis stared at him. His voice was slightly higher, happier. It was a change that was unexpected but it seemed to be a good thing. She smiled and gave him a gentle hug, as to avoid crushing the gifts. "Squall... the funeral will be tommorrow," she whispered into his ear.
He nodded as she took some of the items into her arms. "Zell's been bouncing around all day hearing about your release. I swear, I've never seen him so happy!" She laughed and the two of them headed towards the dormitory. "And, to be perfectly honest... you don't look as broken up as I would have assumed," she added quickly.
"Past experiences told me to move on. I can't dwell on these things again. I have to understand that Hi- Seifer apologized and forgave me, and that Kou- Rinoa really, trully loved me. She never meant to betray me." Squall stopped short and looked up at the sky adding, "Suzaku made sure of it. He made sure I learned from my wrongs."
"Suzaku?"
"The oriental god of the south, the pheonix."
"Yeah, I know! Genbu the turtle, Byakko the tiger, Suzaku and Seiryuu the dragon.
Squall smiled. "Good! You know!"
Quistis stared at him in confusion. "What are you ta-"
"Squall!!" Zell bounded down the hall way and jumped on his friend. He started babbling off in ancient Chinese, while Squall started to scold him in the same language.
The young woman backed off, placing the gifts carefully on the floor. "Well.. I better go," she said slowly before running off.
