ok, I finished the compainion piece to "The Absence of reason" from Frodo's
point of view, but im warning y'all, its a big tear jerker, (I hope)
***
Title: For I can no longer call you lover.
Author: Missy not morbid today even though the story is
Pairing: F/S
Archive: yes please
Feedback: YES PLEASE! feedback yummy yummy!
can you bend spoons: what spoon? there is no spoon!
Warnings: ANGST(like I'd write much else), and not a happy ending. (I know
half of you just ran away now, but oh well.)
SUMMERY: Companion piece to "The absence of reason", but from Frodo's POV.
You don't have to read that story to read this one, it will make sense on its
own just fine.
_______________________________________________________________
Frodo trembled, reaching out and touching Sam's lips. A thumb, seemingly of
it's own accord, rubbed the lower lip gently. Sam gasped as tears ran down
his face; his lips had always been extraordinarily sensitive. At any other
moment this would bring pleasure to him.
The secret Sam had kept from Frodo was too much though, and he told Sam that
he would be going to the Havens by himself, that he was too wounded to be
around him any longer. The brown eyes begged Frodo for an alternative answer;
an answer that Frodo could not give.
"Master..." he sobbed, "Frodo, please don't do this. Don't do this to us! I
promise, it will never happen again--"
Frodo ached to pull Sam into his arms as his friends shoulders shook. But he
restrained himself sternly, moving his hand from Sam's lips to slap him
across the face.
"Do not accuse me for this." He said calmly, "I certainly didn't...Sam, but
how could you? With Rosie?"
Sam's cries increased in volume and he looked as though he were about to fall
to his knees.
"I understand you had feelings for her, but that didn't mean you had to act
on them! Did you not tell me the "wedding" was just a sham to please her
father? He wanted her wed by the time she was of age, and you agreed to step
in and help. But, damnit man it wasn't intent on being real! Did you once
think of *me* when you kissed her? Of *me* when you said out loud that you
loved her? Of *us* when you climbed into her bed??" Although he started out
softly, his anger built as he recalled his Sam's deception, until the words
struck at him like daggers.
"Please Frodo, don't leave me! I'm sorry my dear, oh my dear, dear Frodo
please forgive me, I'm so sorry! I...I...I wasn't thinking..."
At that the emotional young man broke and collapsed to the ground, shaking as
if the world were going to end. Frodo's heart finally softened, and he knelt
by Sam and took the tear-streaked face in his hands, raising the tender brown
eyes to meet his.
"It hurts," he stated bluntly, "You know I love you Sam..." Frodo stroked
down Sam's cheek, the other man nuzzling into the touch. His sobs had calmed
now to little hiccups.
"I know, I'm ever so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. Ever." Sam took
Frodo's fingers and kissed them.
"Yes," Frodo said gently, allowing his fingers to be held, "But I am hurt in
a way I can not mend from, I am afraid."
He allowed himself one last, lingering caress on the face of the one he
loved, then pulled away. Sam's sharp cry cut though his heart, but it hurt
no more than the damage that was already made, that threatened to overwhelm
him.
"I've made my decision," he said firmly, "I'm passing over to the Havens.
Alone."
**********
The day had come, and Frodo stood on the shore with his three dearest
friends. Behind them towered the enormous gray ship that was to carry him
away to the Havens, the resting place of Heroes and elves and kings.
The good-byes were short and slightly teary with Merry and Pippin; although
they were obviously distressed by his departure, they at least had each other
to hold to.
As he came to stand in front of Sam, Frodo had to force himself to stand
still and not fall into those strong arms and tell him he was forgiven. For,
in his heart, Frodo *had* forgiven Sam, but his dignity, his *pride* would
not allow any mercy to show through. What was done, was done, he reasoned,
and there was no changing it. Anyway, he no longer felt safe and comfortable
in Sam's arms as he used to. Sam was like a stranger to him.
There was not a word said between them, just the intense lock of two pairs of
brown eyes, one dark and chocolate colored and the other soft and light and
filled with tears. Sam's lips trembled and Frodo had the urge to soothe them
with is own.
'No!' his dignity spoke up, 'Remember what he did to you. He deserves this!'
Deciding to listen to the harsh, abused part of himself that seemed to speak
it's mind too frequently lately, he kept his lips away from Sam's mouth, and
restricted himself to the sorrow lined forehead.
'Goodbye.' His heart whispered.
As soon as he turned his back to Sam, he allowed the salty betrayers of his
pride to fall to the sand.
He boarded the elven ship regretful, and achingly hollow inside for some
reason.
point of view, but im warning y'all, its a big tear jerker, (I hope)
***
Title: For I can no longer call you lover.
Author: Missy not morbid today even though the story is
Pairing: F/S
Archive: yes please
Feedback: YES PLEASE! feedback yummy yummy!
can you bend spoons: what spoon? there is no spoon!
Warnings: ANGST(like I'd write much else), and not a happy ending. (I know
half of you just ran away now, but oh well.)
SUMMERY: Companion piece to "The absence of reason", but from Frodo's POV.
You don't have to read that story to read this one, it will make sense on its
own just fine.
_______________________________________________________________
Frodo trembled, reaching out and touching Sam's lips. A thumb, seemingly of
it's own accord, rubbed the lower lip gently. Sam gasped as tears ran down
his face; his lips had always been extraordinarily sensitive. At any other
moment this would bring pleasure to him.
The secret Sam had kept from Frodo was too much though, and he told Sam that
he would be going to the Havens by himself, that he was too wounded to be
around him any longer. The brown eyes begged Frodo for an alternative answer;
an answer that Frodo could not give.
"Master..." he sobbed, "Frodo, please don't do this. Don't do this to us! I
promise, it will never happen again--"
Frodo ached to pull Sam into his arms as his friends shoulders shook. But he
restrained himself sternly, moving his hand from Sam's lips to slap him
across the face.
"Do not accuse me for this." He said calmly, "I certainly didn't...Sam, but
how could you? With Rosie?"
Sam's cries increased in volume and he looked as though he were about to fall
to his knees.
"I understand you had feelings for her, but that didn't mean you had to act
on them! Did you not tell me the "wedding" was just a sham to please her
father? He wanted her wed by the time she was of age, and you agreed to step
in and help. But, damnit man it wasn't intent on being real! Did you once
think of *me* when you kissed her? Of *me* when you said out loud that you
loved her? Of *us* when you climbed into her bed??" Although he started out
softly, his anger built as he recalled his Sam's deception, until the words
struck at him like daggers.
"Please Frodo, don't leave me! I'm sorry my dear, oh my dear, dear Frodo
please forgive me, I'm so sorry! I...I...I wasn't thinking..."
At that the emotional young man broke and collapsed to the ground, shaking as
if the world were going to end. Frodo's heart finally softened, and he knelt
by Sam and took the tear-streaked face in his hands, raising the tender brown
eyes to meet his.
"It hurts," he stated bluntly, "You know I love you Sam..." Frodo stroked
down Sam's cheek, the other man nuzzling into the touch. His sobs had calmed
now to little hiccups.
"I know, I'm ever so sorry, I never wanted to hurt you. Ever." Sam took
Frodo's fingers and kissed them.
"Yes," Frodo said gently, allowing his fingers to be held, "But I am hurt in
a way I can not mend from, I am afraid."
He allowed himself one last, lingering caress on the face of the one he
loved, then pulled away. Sam's sharp cry cut though his heart, but it hurt
no more than the damage that was already made, that threatened to overwhelm
him.
"I've made my decision," he said firmly, "I'm passing over to the Havens.
Alone."
**********
The day had come, and Frodo stood on the shore with his three dearest
friends. Behind them towered the enormous gray ship that was to carry him
away to the Havens, the resting place of Heroes and elves and kings.
The good-byes were short and slightly teary with Merry and Pippin; although
they were obviously distressed by his departure, they at least had each other
to hold to.
As he came to stand in front of Sam, Frodo had to force himself to stand
still and not fall into those strong arms and tell him he was forgiven. For,
in his heart, Frodo *had* forgiven Sam, but his dignity, his *pride* would
not allow any mercy to show through. What was done, was done, he reasoned,
and there was no changing it. Anyway, he no longer felt safe and comfortable
in Sam's arms as he used to. Sam was like a stranger to him.
There was not a word said between them, just the intense lock of two pairs of
brown eyes, one dark and chocolate colored and the other soft and light and
filled with tears. Sam's lips trembled and Frodo had the urge to soothe them
with is own.
'No!' his dignity spoke up, 'Remember what he did to you. He deserves this!'
Deciding to listen to the harsh, abused part of himself that seemed to speak
it's mind too frequently lately, he kept his lips away from Sam's mouth, and
restricted himself to the sorrow lined forehead.
'Goodbye.' His heart whispered.
As soon as he turned his back to Sam, he allowed the salty betrayers of his
pride to fall to the sand.
He boarded the elven ship regretful, and achingly hollow inside for some
reason.
