Waking Up The Evil Dead

by Random

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DISCLAIMER:  "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and all its characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox and the WB Network.  "Evil Dead," "Evil Dead 2," "Army of Darkness" and all their characters and names are property of Sam Raimi and Renaissance Pictures.  "Splattermania" written by Ginger, published by Warner Chappel Music Ltd.  "Far Beyond Metal" written by Devin Townsend, Gene Hoglan, Jed Simon, Byron Stroud and John Paul Morgan, published by Bucket of Nothing Music.

DESCRIPTION:  Buffy/Evil Dead crossover.  A mysterious book surfaces in Sunnydale and soon people start getting possessed by an evil force.  Now it's up to the gang to get things under control, all with a little help from a certain S-Mart clerk with a chainsaw for a hand.

RATING:  R

FEEDBACK:  Yes, please!

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  This was my very first Buffy fanfiction that I wrote way back in 1999.  It takes place towards the end of season three.  Thanks to Kent for pointing out my glaring omission of the term "boomstick."  And thanks to Devin, Ginger and Jason for all the music.

NOTE:  This fic's original title was "There's Something Evil In The Parking Lot".

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PART II

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"You did what?" Giles asked wide-eyed.

                      "We cut the sucker up and buried it," Ash answered setting down a heavy bag of supplies on the library table, next to the bags that Buffy and Xander had hauled in and the shopping bag that Cordelia had retrieved from the parking lot.

                      "And it was dead then?" the watcher inquired.

                      "Not quite," Xander said wiping some sweat from his brow.  "One of the disembodied hands tried to strangle me while the other one was feeling Cordelia up."

                      Giles turned and looked at the cheerleader who promptly turned a bright shade of red.  This time she didn't care that the color clashed with her clothing.

                      "It was very much like a demented Addams Family episode," Buffy added.

                      Ash unzipped the duffel bag before him and started unloading several handguns and shotguns onto the table.  The second bag revealed an arsenal off ammunition of all kinds, while the third held a Bazooka, an AK-47 and Ash's beat up chainsaw.

                      Giles looked on in disbelief as his library was turned into an armory.  "Buffy?" he muttered.  "Why all the guns?"

                      Ash answered for her.  "Blondie says that she is some sort of vampire killer."

                      "Slayer," Buffy and Giles said in unison.

                      "Yeah, sure," Ash said derisively.  "Look, if you wanna believe in vampires suit yourselves.  But the deadites are tough suckers, those little wooden sticks ain't gonna do nothing to them."  Ash held up his sawed off shotgun and added, "But my boomstick here has gotten me out of many a fix.  So we 'borrowed' the merchandise from S-Mart.  Unfortunately the tank we have on order hasn't come in yet."

                      "And what's in the bag at the end," Giles asked pointing at Cordelia's shopping bag."

                      "Nothing," Xander answered, "just Cordy indulging her shoe fetish."

                      The cheerleader shot him a dirty look for that comment which he chose to ignore.

                      Ash took a look around the library then turned back to Giles.  "Fluffy also said you've got the book."

                      "For the millionth time: my name is Buffy," Buffy fumed.

                      "Yeah," Ash laughed, "like that's any more of a name!"

                      "The book?" Giles muttered, still confused by the present state of things.  "Oh, the Necronomicon!  Yes, it's in my office."  He ran off to retrieve it.

                      Xander picked up the AK-47 and an ammunitions clip and loaded the rifle with a few quick moves, making it look like he had practiced it a million times before.  He drew some raised eyebrows from his cohorts.  "What?" he asked sheepishly, when he noticed everybody looking at him.  "Remember Halloween?"

                      "Soldier Boy, thinks he's all cool cause he's got a big gun now," Ash muttered to himself.

                      A moment or two later Giles reemerged from his office, Necronomicon in hand.  "Now, Mr…-" he gave Ash an inquisitive look.

                      "Name's Ash," he answered.  "Housewares."

                      "Quite," Giles muttered.  "So, Mr. Ash, you say you have come across these demons before?"

                      "Yes, several years ago," Ash said sitting down in one of the chairs around the table.  "I had traveled out to a cabin in the middle of nowhere with my girlfriend Linda.  There I found the book and a tape recorder with the translated spell.  I played the tape and it unleashed that thing on us.  I took Linda.  Then it got my hand."  He looked down at the metal glove on his right arm.  "I had to cut it off at the wrist."

                      Cordelia shuddered slightly as she thought about that.

                      "With a little help I was finally able to push the dark spirit through a rift in space and time.  But it swallowed my car and me too.  I ended up medieval England.  There I had to fight a whole army of those deadites.  Finally one of the wisemen was able to send me back to this time.  I was back at S-Mart living my life in peace.  And now you morons come along and set that spirit free again."  Ash was gradually getting angrier and finally he just yelled, "Don't you people ever think about what you are translating and what the spell can cause if you recite it out loud?"

                      "I wouldn't dream of doing that," Giles answered.  "Unfortunately somebody, presumably one of the vampires, did it before we were able to get to the book."

                      "Pffft," Ash scoffed, "there you go with your freaking vampires again."

                      "You said that you were able to push the evil spirit through a rift in time and space?"  Giles asked and Ash nodded in response.  "How were you able to do that?"

                      "It's all in the book," Ash replied.  "There's two passages.  One to make the spirit appear in the flesh and another one to create the rift.  But this time figure out how to close the rift beforehand.  Can you translate the text?"

                      "Yes," Giles mused.  "But I'll need help.  Buffy, page Willow and Oz and get them over here.  It's gonna be a long night."

                      "You have no idea," Ash muttered to himself.

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