Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, Fanfiction.net, or any of the authors.....except Ash.

Notes: First, you all notice that poor Felp is no longer with us? Interesting, to say the least, I wonder why they took him down? On to ranting. Ok, this'll be a longer one, I want to respond to some reviews and point out some things. First off, I love Ashy boy (not that way you sick pervs, we're past the romance chapter) and his fics (though they make me queasy. No, if you haven;t read them, think Stephen King, or maybe a toned down Silence of the Lambs.) so I'm not trying to insult him. HE (hopefully) knows this is all a big joke, so it doesn't matter. But I do pick on him a lot. Oh yes, possible more than Acyla.....ok maybe not. Now, the author's I KNOW I'll put in are A) Ladydarkness, because she's been real patient and I haven't given her any time yet. B)Gohan Hugger, because she thought I was a girl. C) Maddog, also because he thought I was a girl, D) Jevena, because she's told me quite subtly *cough* that she wants in. E) Dyani, because she's my most faithful reader. F)SSJ4, because....I feel like it, G) Vegita's little Girl, just because she's so damn cute at her little altar, and H) Chelsee, because she's my favorite writer. (If you like Gohan, and haven't read Contradicting Mission, kiss your family goodbye and go read it, right now.) Yeah, I'm prejudiced, so what, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Anyway, that's the list I've accumulated, but if I've missed anybody, please E-MAIL me at Dieffenb@Prodigy.net. I know this is going to sound ego-tistical, but I do get a good number of reviews, and when I skim through them, I might miss someone's request. Anyway, on to the chapter, (*audience audibly snoring* WAKE UP!) This is the horror section, but I'm not really going to describe it, since most of the horror is kinda-sorta violent. Now, Ash calls his stories by different categories (Consuming Madness is an Action-Adventure), but since most of the fics I'm focusing on are super-violent and scary (I had to read all of it), I'm dubbing them horror. On to the story......

Gohan's Journey: The Horror Section




"Get away from me, you....Whatever!"

"Pika?....PIKAPIKAPIKAPIKACHUUuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!"

Steve grimaced as he continued strutting through the poorly-drawn forest. That.....thing had been following him for a good while now, and he was getting VERY tired of it. "PIKA PI--KA PIKA... PI-KA PIiii....PIKA! PIKA-CHU!!!!!!!! PIkaaaaa! Pikachu!"

"WILL you shut UP!"

"PIIIIKA!"

"SQUIRTLE!" (Doing research on this subject, by the way, was more painful than reading the Gohan-Lime fic. Much more.)

Oh no, another one?. Pikachu suddenly went demonic, and the background swirled. "PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A tiny, poorly animated bolt of lightning hit the turtle and did absolutely nothing. "Squirt?" Then, true to the nature of the show, they become great friends and love eachother, and started following Steve again. Then out of completely nowhere, two complete idiots dressed in white outfits with R's on the back stroll into the scene Could this possible get any wierder?

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Meowth! Give us that Pikachu!" (Uhuh. Yup. It's a talkng cat. So innovative.)

"Oh shut the hell up, I'm not one of your-"

"We want that Pikachu, even though it horribly electrocutes us every episode we try, or one of it's new-found friens saves it!"

"Then have it!"

Pikachu sits down and patiently gets captured, but the squirtle suddenly gets newfound strength, and 'Water Gun's' them all into the distance. Everything's happy now, right?

A weird boy with a decidedly girlish voice jumps in. "The moral of this story is that it's important to treat your POKE'MON with care. When you do, POKE'MON will love you back, even though their entire lives consist of sitting around waiting to fight other POKE'MON to the finish, which is technically the worst kind of animal cruelty. Good thing I'm such a role model for kids everwhere, being an egotistical, moron who makes his pets fight, after all."

The boy leaped high into the air. "I, ASH KETCHUM, AM GONNA BE THE BEST TRAINER EVER, EVEN THOUGH MY ARCH-RIVAL GARY BEATS MY ASS DOWN EVERY WEEK!!!!! Now, I'm going to stuff the POKE'MON into cold balls about the size of my hand, and let them sit there like the evil POKE'MON torturer I am. Then, I'll go get my POKE'MONS' asses kicked by strange trainers that are much better than I am, then have my Pikachu blast everything at the last minute wuth the same attack over and over again. Then I'll give myself ALL THE CREDIT! MWHAHAHAHA!!!" (If anyone says POKE'MON to me again, there's gonna be trouble.)

Pikachu and Squirtle both try to run away, but Ash (Ketchum, not the wanderer, I'll get to that later) zaps them in, and runs away, laughing. A brown haired boy (BROCK) and a red-headed girl (MISTY) follow behind him. "God I hate him. " Brock mutters. "I could beat him everwhere with my big, biologically impossible rock-snake, but I have to be his friend because he beat me by accident."

Misty snorted. "At least you have something. All I have are two starfish that in the real world couldn't eat because they don't have a mouth, and a 'Psyduck' that's about as useful as a dead horsey." (ha ha, get it? Horse, horsey. Ha ha. Ok.) They walked away, muttering to themselves.

Steve stared after them. That was completely random, and had nothing whatsoever to do with the story.......



"Hold on a second, Gohan, do you want to stop at the poetry section real quick?"

Gohan thought hard. "It can't be that bad, how big is it?"

Dot chuckled. "It's not very large, so you won't have to see too much."

"All right. I need a break anyway." And he did. After the insanity and pointlessness of the Humor section, and the wishy-washy corniness of the Romance section (he still doesn't remember the NC-17 section), he really needed a break.

The room they walked into was quite small, and aside from a few people writing song-fics, there was basically no one there. They walked up to the familiar computer screen, and sat down. "Well now, let's see here. 'Ode to Perfect Ce---'never mind."

Gohan's eyes flashed, "What was that?"

"I..I don't like that one, let's skip it. Uh....here we go."

The voice blurted out. "Bulma's luv poem: by ******* Rating: PG. Summary: well, ths is mie furst poem guys, hope u liek it! It tuk me 2 hours!"

Gohan groaned, "Oh, come on, I don't want ANOTHER one!"

Dot chuckled again, "Don't worry, it's pretty short."

Bulma walked on to a stage. "Hi everybody! This is for my cute little prince."

"Roses are red,
Violet's are blue,
I want to start screwing you,
Hard and True." (*Audience roars in applause* Thank you, thank you. Bask in the glory of my poetry skills.)

The fic ended. Gohan was confused, "Huh? That was really strange and made no sense!....Screwing?"

Dot recoiled, "Never mind, uh, do you want to see another one?"

Gohan shook his head. "No thanks. I suppose we should go on to the horror section."

Dot sighed. "Alright. Be prepared though, it'll test your anger again."

"Aw kami, what is it this time. Will someone insult Otousan again?"

"....no. There's someone ruling over the section, a cruel and iron-fisted author who seized control of the area."

Gohan sighed. If it wasn't raving lunatic writers, it was tyranical leaders. "Can I go home after this is all over?"

Dot did not reply, but set off towards an impeding castle that had appeared from nowhere. "HALT!"

Gohan looked up. An author by the name of Maddog was dressed up in a ridiculous suit of armor. "You are not allowed to pass! This is the territory of his Majesty, Ash the Wanderer! Only Pokemon trainers or people of......"

Gohan growled, "I've had enough of this." He created a small ki shot and blasted it up to Maddog. "And therefore, only by consent of hi---GAAAAAAAAaaaa..hh....." Maddog was engulfed in fire, and blasted off the wall, and fell to the ground 15 feet below with a loud clatter. Then Gohan walked up to the gate and literally kicked it down, and it fell down on top of the author. Dot gasped, "You're supposed to go through the procedure first! You'll get us in all sorts of trouble."

Gohan sighed, "I'm sorry, it's just so irritating the way people treat eachother around here. Let's go."

They walked over the broken gate, ignoring Maddog's groans of pain. "I'm not dead, I'm just very badly burned! (see austin powers.)"

They walked up to a regal palace, and moved on to the throne room.

Sitting on top of a throne encased in gold was a man with spiky black hair, dressed all in black. His face turned outraged, "Who let these two into the glory of my presence!"

Dot spoke politely, "Sir, I'm the guide of this realm, Dot, and my geust here is Son Gohan, the son of Son Goku. (Lots of sons.)"

Gohan bowed politely, "Hi."

Ash scoffed, "Oh yes, the saiyajin half-breed. You know in real life you can't exist right? I wrote an essay that dove deep into that subject, and explained things about sex that most normal males shouldn't know."

Gohan was stunned, "Are you implying that I don't exist?"

"Yes, but that's ok. Allow me to fully introduce myself, I am ASH THE WANDERER (booming voice), the greates---I mean a normal, hard-working author just trying to do his best. Allow me to show you my profile."

The now-all-too-familiar-and-getting-annoying-voice blurted out, "Some have called me the greatest author they have ever read, I'll leave that up to you to decide."

The perfectionist inside him coming out, Gohan noted, "You can't read an author, but...."

"Some of my more famous works include 'Consuming Madness' 'Bloodthirst' 'Seven Deadly Sins' and 'Atrocities'"

"Pleasant sounding stories," Gohan muttered. The door opened again with a boom, and a young Pokemon trainer, dressed like all young pokemon trainers (wierd hat, tight jeans, and a vest) walked in. "I challenge you to a POKEMON MATCH! (voice echoes across the room in ridiculously dramatic fashion)

Ash stood up, smirking, "Challenge accepted."

As the two moved to the center of the room, Gohan whipsered to dot, "Pokemon match? What's that?"

Dot spoke quietly, "Another world, much like yours, exists in this realm. Pokemon are animals that trainers capture. These animals end up fighting eachother until one passes out."

Gohan gasped, "That's HORRIBLE!!!"

"Yes, and what ash is about to do is probably more so."

Background swirls dramatically, "Jigglypuff, Machoke, GOOOOO!!!!!" The trainer threw the strange balls. One opened to reveal a small, pink puff with huge eyes and a tiny mouth. "JIGGLYPUFF!" JIgglypuff, what kind of a name is that? The other ball revealed a huge, muscular creature that had muscles so big that they were ripping through the skin (*audience thinks Paladone is exagerating again* No, I'm serious, look a picture of it up, it's really, really nasty.) "MACHOKE!"

Ash threw his balls, (that....sounded....wrong) "Agony, Scuba Steve, GO!"

From one ball a small action figure popped out, and fell to the ground with a clatter. ??? (A/M Scuba Steve was the toy of choice for Adam Sandler's 'son' in Big Daddy.)

From the other came a demon-woman straight out of hell, and it proceeded, without warning, to tear up Jigglypuff and Machoke ala Consuming Madness style (I will NOT go into greater detail, this will stay pg-13). The young trainer fled, and Agony ran back up to Ash, purring. Ash just sat down as if finishing breakfast.

Gohan ran over to the window and retched, right on top of Maddog, who was slowly trying to get up. "W-what is that horrible monster!"

Ash smiled fondly at Agony, who was grinning evilly at Gohan. "This is my best creation, the one that got me into power. She's actually quite affectionate, and she kills things for me, don't you dearie." He reached over to get scuba steve, "And this is my favorite toy, aren't you Stevey."

Gohan reasoned by now that Ash was quite mad. "Are there any other authors in this section?"

Ash growled, "Not if I can help it. Those fools couldn't write a good horror story if their lives depended on it (which is probably true.) Anyway, let's go on into the viewing room. Agony, scuba steve, return!" They returned to their little POKE'balls, and they walked on. Gohan and Dot walked some distance behind.

Gohan shuddered, "He's insane, ins't he."

DOt replied, "Yeah, but that doesn't really matter around here, as you've probably noticed. He had quite the journey to the 'throne.' BAsically, after an interesting story only minorly related to DBZ, and a couple humorous tidbits, he started writing horror stories. He wrote consuming madness, which he'll show you soon. AFter that, he rose to power over other horror writers, and the ash wars started."

"Ash wars? Huh?"

They entered a strange staircase that spiraled downward. Dot continued, "Yeah. Basically, pricks with nothing better to do than bitch and moan started piling flames on all of Ash's stuff, his personality, the way he dresses, and even his mother's dental habits, because they generally couldn't write stories themselves worth a damn, and were annoyed that other people could. They even devoted fics to maiming and torturing him." (Aren't you all impressed with the amount of research I did? No? *grumble*)

"Why is he getting so much attention?"

"Probably because he bothered your author so much that if he didn't put Ash in, he'd have gone stark raving mad."

"....oh...ok." Gohan had by now given up understanding what dot meant by that.

Maddog came tumbling down the stairs, soiled and smelling like...never mind. He tripped mid-way down, and fell to the ground with a crash. Ash chuckled, "Hey watch it, this is a NO-FLY ZONE! HAHAHAHAHAHA...hahah...uh...let's keep going." (see Atrocities)

They finally entered a rank-smelling computer room, where strange knives and torture equipment lined the walls. Acyla would love this place. Ash fired up the computer, and after the usual bleating, the story started.



Dyani ran through the halls of the complex DBZ section. Where IS he? He's always in the humor section, working on that strange and mysterious fiction of his, and now he's gone! While she thought about Paladone, that kind, quiet, non-insinuating author, she ran smack into the ONE known as Jevena. (In your next review, tell me if your male or female, it'll make things easier.)

"Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry."

Jevena jumped up and down. "Oh that's ok, that's ok, I'm just looking for Paladone so he can put me in his fiction. HAve you seen him anywhere? I really really really reall-"

"Um, I'm looking for him, could you help me? He's supposed to be in the humor section, but last I heard he left to the....DEAR GOD!"

Jevena was left speechless. The entire humor section was completely destroyed, and even the untouched section was now being torn apart by Acyla. "WHERE IS HE! He's SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! How am I going to try out the new things I learned if I can't find him!"

Dyani crouched behind a rock, "Acyla's trying to kill/torture/hurt/destroy/mutilate Paladone, and I'm trying to stop her, so he can finally get a move-on in the Earthling Saga."

Jevene looked confused, "Huh, what was that, cause you know I didn't understand you and when I don't-"

"Never mind. Come on, let's move on to the horror section, he avoids romances like the plague, or at least after he was forever traumatized by the Lemon section."

The two authors crept away, while Acyla started breaking things with rocks.



Gohan had no trouble with the premise, or the story, or the new characters, depsite the fact that Erik was named after the Author himself (Erik Mansereau, or however you spell that name).

It was when Agony started killing people as violently as possible, ripping them in half, smashing their legs, tearing them to peices, eating their heart, that sort of thing was just a tad harder for him to stomach. He constantly fought down rushes of extreme queasiness. Almost everyone he had ever known, and some he didn't, died terribly.

About half-way through, Gohan couldn't keep his mouth shut. "This is absolutely HORRIBLE! Why the hell do you take so much joy in death scenes? It's perverted!"

Ash laughed, "I dunno, I've never had any trouble with it. People like this kinda stuff, it's different."

Gohan gagged, "How on earth do people enjoy this sort of stuff?!"

Ash shrugged, "Who cares, it's good for 'business'."

Gohan saw a somewhat older version of himself carrying out a good plan, only to have it fail miserably. Gohan's eyes widened in absolute horror as he saw himself get mauled. (Once again, I'm leaving out all SORTS of nasty details for the kiddies.) Finally, Agony died a very unsatisfying death, especially since she enjoyed it and all. Finally, Erik goes back to his 'dimension' and the story ended.

The boy sat there, shaking uncontrollably. "I...can't believe...you put my family...and friends....through that."

Ash backed away a little, "Now now, you know I'm a sucker for a happy ending, even though the last line mentioned a laugh of Consuming Madness by an evil demoness that refuses to die."

"Well....at least there aren't any more of THOSE. I'm getting out of here, this place is beginning to sicken me, literally."

Ash popped up brightly, "Oh, but I'm making a sequel! It's where I have an evil scientist capture your dad and make him slaughter and destroy everyone! ^_^"

".........what." Gohan said flatly.

"A sequel, except I added in humor....uh...yeah HUMOR! Um....are you ok?"

Gohan slowly got up from the chair, and advanced on the Wanderer, who was backing away, trying to reach his Poke'balls, which were, unfortunately, on the other side of the room.....



Bulma finished reading the story in absolute horror. "V-vegeta....I think you should read this......"

VEgeta stomped into the room, still grumpy about the whole phone incident. As surprisingly intelligent as he was, or the fact that he couldn't read very well, and skipped many paragraphs altogether, he finished reading the story in under 15 minutes. "This baka made me out to be a 'sensitive' crying little.......BAKA! How dare he!"

Bulma stared at Vegeta, "You mean you're not upset that your son was killed! THAT I WENT INSANE!!!!! *voice screeches to octaves unheard of ever before* WHY YOU!!-"

Vegeta saw his deadly mistake a little too late, "Now, wo..I mean Bulma, uh, I was joking, joking, no this is real hor-"

"NO 'MATING' FOR A WEEK!!!!!"

Vegeta sulked off. "Ah....kuso. If you need me, I'll be breaking things." He stomped back out, dragging the tattered remains of his pride behind him.

Bulma turned back to her work. She was obviously closing in on Gohan, but she always seemed to be missing something. As she read over the reviews, all of which said the same thing, everything suddenly started CRACKING and jumping around, and she could have sworn she had heard yells of pain. Then the site crashed again. "Dammit! Why does everything keep crashing? And why can't I review or post? They do this just to torture me!"



Gohan and dot walked away from the ruins of the palace. Dot was shaking, but Gohan had a self-satisfied little smirk on his face. "Don't you think you were a bit harsh back there?" Dot asked

"Aw, I only destroyed the building. I didn't hurt him THAT much....well....."

"But the business with the legs..." Dot winced, "I couldn't even watch! Amd then swinging him around with that rope."

Gohan smiled innocently at dot, "Just making sure he doesn't write those kinds of stories too often. Well.....ok, maybe I went a bit too far with those self-heated hot irons. But hey, I left him next to Maddog, so they can keep eachother company, right? THat was pretty nice of me, huh?"

Dot shuddred, "Right, whatever you say."

"Ok, what's next."

"Well, we gotta swing by the General and Mystery sections, then the discussion board."

"Let's go then."


To be continued....

The final plot is set in motion. Will Steve Savage stop Gohan before he can make his way home? Will Acyla find Paladone and tear him into miniscule little peices? Or will Dyani and Jevena find him first? Will Ash the Wanderer ever walk again? Stay tuned! Oh yes, by the way, I spent a good deal of time looking up the Pokemon stuff, and if I ever have to do it again, I think I'll kill myself. If you honestly thought the DBZ dub was bad, you ain't seen NOTHING. If I here Ash say "I'm gonna WIN!" one more time, somebody in the story's gonna get hurt...oh wait, nevermind..... Oh yes, and has anyone else had trouble reviewing and/or posting on the message board? It's driving me absolutely insane. Anyway, R/R! ^_^