Disclaimer: YEAH, I OWN DBZ! GO ON, SUE ME! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Notes: READ THIS, I KNOW IT'S LONG: Once again, sorry for the delay, 'real life' is busy. If you didn't already know, Funi's actually going back to do Dragonball! First! (Oh darn, we won't see GT until 2003) By september, they're gonna start dubbing, and the first season will go until the end of the 21st Tenkachi Budokai. Kick ass. Here's another scoop, new cast, and you can vote for the ones you want! (I don't know the site, go look it up.) Right now, I think GOhan's voice actor is going back to do Goku, which is fine by me (she's good). I'm not really sure about the music, so I'm staying pessimstic about it so I don't get all dissapointed. Seriously for those of you that haven't seen Dragonball, you're gonna love some of the stuff in it. Watch Kururin as he puts up one hell of a fight throughout the series (Next to Goku, and possily Tien, he's the best). Watch Kamesemnin (Master Roshi) be an incredible fighter and useful instructor (though he's still a pervert. Oh yeah, he created the Kamehameha, for those of you who care.) Watch Yamcha actually put up a really good fight (god he is so screwed in DBZ, it's sickening.) Watch Tien really, really kick ass (and beat Goku once. YES!) Watch Yajarobe (yes, he can fight too) slice a demon in half. KICK ASS! Watch Karin do something useful. Watch Chao-zu beat on Kururin. And LUNCH EXISTS!!! Isn't it great? Oh, yeah yeah, and watch Goku win a whole lot more, though it's nicer becasue he's a kid now, not a pumped up adult. Basically, for many of you that feel the human characers are shunted back, this series'll be a real refresher. What makes it the greatest, I think, is that it's a light-hearted sort of show, and there isn't much killing or anything until real late in the series (where Toriyama becomes obsessed with blood and gore). You know, it's really sad that the audience demaned more bloody fighting than comedy, or else this could've been much, much different.

Ok, enough Dragonball. This chapter is general #1, but really it is more the "I'm pissed at Funi and this is my way of venting my anger" chapter. So, let's take a trip down the yellow brick road of blunder boys and girls! Hey, by the way, Ash, I'M NOT THAT UNORIGINAL AND LOUSY! For god's sake, I'm not going to just let Gohan beat them up! Did I have him beat Agony up at first sight? NO! *grumble grumble* I'm gonna pick on you a lot for that. No one but him understands what that means. Now, I think I've realized why some people are saying this story is wierd. First off, it IS wierd, but I didn't explain who Steve Savage was. NO really, some people don't know. He's one of the original creators of this website. I thought, with such a great name, why not use him as a semi-villain? Finally, I still accept submissions for General fics. Ok, explanations done. On to the show....

P.S. Question: Who has been the only friendly character to really humiliate and defeat Goku, without Goku beating him up later (you know, like he did with Yamcha.)? I'll mention the right answer and the people who got it right in my next random notes chapter.


Gohan's Journey: The General Section, Part 1.



Gohan was stunned at the area before him.

It wasn't much bigger, or brighter than the other rooms. It didn't have any more people than normal. The fact was, it was pure chaos, no order at all.

Tables were upside down, people were throwing pencils and badly written compositions all over the place. GOhan was nearly hit between the eyes with what appeared to be Acyla's second "Gohan's Journey: Acyla's revenge". "She wrote another one? And why is it here in the general section?"

"Yup. I dunno, maybe Paladone is using a bad excuse to make fun of her more."

"But you've told me before that no one really knows where he is. How can she possibly write a story about him if he isn't there.

Dot nodded solemnly, "It's sad what power writers have. Heck, she put the misguided notion through people's brains that Paladone Products LTD. (A real company yes. Isn't it great?) is a pure Sex Toy Manufacturer, ignoring the other products it sells. Besides all the 'sex toys' are gag toys." (I LOVE shooting her down. Oh, but wait until the last chapter, whoooo boy, she'll be clawing at my throat.)

"What're sex toys? DO you mean boy and girl toys? That's a wierd name for it."

"Erm....well....sorta....never mind."

"Well, ok. Anyway, why is this section so...*ducks from flying manuscripts*....crazy?"

"Well, this is the general section. Most people that put stories here can't deide on another section. So basically, they can be anything from bizzare and wierd stories to works of Art. The majority of stupid stories end up here."

"Aren't...all the stories wierd and bizzare around here?"

"yeah but....."

Dot and Gohan entered the next room, and Gohan gasped. The ENTIRE ROOM was covered in little dolls, wallpaper, figurenes, and videos of...HIMSELF! A decent-sized group of people were listening to a nerdy girl in huge glasses talk (no Chelsee, it's not you, don't worry. I'm not THAT evil. *Acyla snickers* Besides, you need to finish that chapter. ^_^) Dot grabbed Gohan and pulled him under the draped table. "What?"

"SHHH! Be quiet, or you'll never get out of here!"

"W-why?"

"This is the center for GLAD."

"Glad?"

"Gohan Lovers Anonymous Debate."

Gohan turned red, "...m....me?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised. Hell, there are people trying to KILL Videl to get you for themselves! (coughcough005coughcough)"

"....who's Videl? You mean the cute daughter of Mr. Satan?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot, you're only 12 right now. Anyway..."

"Wait a minute! What's the 'debate?' Shouldn't it just be Gohan Lovers Anonymous?"

"Yeah, but that would be GLA. Glad sounds better. Oh dear *snicker* listen to this."

The girl with specs could be heard now. "....and then I started watching DBZ, and thought, like, Goku was such a jerk for, like, STEALING GOHAN'S GLORY!!!"

"YEAH!"

"Uh heeheeheeehee! So then I started, like, collecting all the movies, downloaded crappy Realplayer episodes, like, off the internet, and even bought, like, minuture action figures! It's wierd, how my friends treat me like I'm wierd and obsessed and stuff, but...heehee, it's FUN!"

"YEAH!"

"Oh! And I fell in LOVE with Movie #9 Gohan! I dreamed about making insane, wet and sticky love to him every night!"

Gohan could not believe what he was hearing, "What do they mean Movie #9 Gohan? What, are there different types of me now? And what does she mean by 'wet and sticky?'"

Dot wisely ignored the last question and quietly whispered, "Keep it down! They mean the time when you fought Bojack."

"Oh yeah, " Gohan's eyes went flat, "Him."

"But then, like, my dad said I couldn't get a stuffed life-size model to hug and kiss!"

"BOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Gohan whispered, "Let's get out of here, this is freaky."

They both turned and crept towards the door, inch by agonizing inch, while the girl started talking about her first Gohan dream in more detail than is neccesary to describe here. (Here, Paladone decides to build a nice healthy brick wall around his house to keep out the madwomen with pitchforks and torches.)



"All right, so what's the plan."

Majin Vegeta looked up, "Maybe we should just go into the General Room and grab him."

Steve sneered Savagely (oh wait, crap, a joke repeat) angrily. "Too easy. BEsides, the boy'd beat the snot out of you weaklings. ME, on the other hand-"

Gohan Hugger piped up, "Oh, he's my HERO. How about this, as long as you just ban him, and don't hurt him or anythign, I'll hug him still."

"And how do you propose you'll get that close? Apparently, he can fly."

Mistress Storm Crow spoke up, "I can keep him transfixed with my 'Women's Arsenal'."

Steve smacked his head, "He's a total and complete innocent! He wouldn't understand what you were doing! Besides, he doesn't remember any of the NC-17 section."

Majin looked confused, "How do you know that?"

"Um...er...I...don't know. That's wierd." Steve sighed. "Look, it's obvious that Paladone is somehow linked to the boy getting inside. We have to locate either him or Gohan. But splitting up is too dangerous."

ASh quietly spoke, "Why don't we send my Poke-made-up-characters-mon. Besides Scuba Steve, which remains faithfully by my side *others look confused* I have Agony and Eric. I'll send Agony in search of Paladone, and Eric for Gohan."

The background swirled dramatically, and Ash struck a pose. I am SO cool "Agony! Eric! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The familiar demon woman known as Agony ran off in search of Paladone. Eric popped out of the ball, and Maddog gasped. "He looks exactly like you!"

Ash blinked, "Of course! I basically inserted myself into the story, just with a nifty morphing arm!" (Ok, ok, I don't KNOW this, but his e-mail is Eric Mansereau, so, I'm taking a geuss, k?)

Eric turned to Ash, and gestured dramatically, ".....ASH!"

The others fell down Anime-style. "Yes?"

"What do you want me to do.......ASH?!"

"Find Gohan and beat him senseless." Ash stated flatly.

Gohan Hugger stood up, "Wait a second, how do you expect Eric to-"

"SILENCE! That boy has insulted me! He tied me up next to MADDOG! I will not TOLERATE this! I'll bend him over backwards and smack him like my biotch! HA!"

"Oh shut up." Steve muttered, "You'll do nothing of the sort. All I want is to teach him a lesson, then send him back out of the net. If we provoked him like that, the whole website would fall apart, and the visitors here would have to go out and get a life, or even a date!" (I AM being insulting today. But admit it, we're writing Dragon Ball Z FANFICTION. Of course, I'm an exception, I'm just too cool ^_^)

"Ok, fine then. ERIK! Beat him senseless, than return him to me, where we cam ban him.

Erik struck another dramatic pose, "....GOHAN!....this is the mechanicism....OF YOUR DOWNFALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

His arm morphed into a helecoptor rotor, "THIS STORY ENDS.....NOOOOOOWWWWWWwwwwww........"

Majin Vegeta shook his head, but remained silent. (You know, of all the people, he's the only one I haven't insulted yet. I'll have to think on that....)



Gohan and Dot walked into the familiar computer room, and opened up the incredibly large list of General fics.

"Well now, let's see what we've got here......hmmmmm....."

Gohan looked at one selection for a second. "The worst moments of Funimation. What is that?"

Dot stared at him, "You don't know what Funimation is?"

"Uh......no."

Dot sighed, "Ok....where to start. You probably know by now that you're lives were recorded in Japan. What you DON'T know is that another country, the *dun dun dun* United States decided to translate and....change it a little."

Gohan naively asked, "How much?" (You poor child. I'm really putting you through hell, aren't I?)

"Oh dear. Well, you might as well find out."

The computer started droning. "The worst moments of Funimation: by SUPERFUNIHATER. Rating: G Summary: GOD I HATE FUNIMATION! *Gohan falls out of his chair, again* They are the DEVIL! THE SATAN of ANIME! AAAAARGH!"

Gohan looked up, dazed. "Wow, that guy really doesn't like them, does he?"

Dot explained, "It varies. Some people won't even give them half a chance (to be honest, I loved the Cell Games, except for the SSJ2 scene.) Some people don't care."

The title flashed on screen, then blasted to where Vegeta and Nappa landed in the city. Gohan snarled as he saw Nappa again, a figure he very much wished to put out of his memory forever. As they talked and Nappa started to blow up the city, Gohan noticed strange and dull music in the background. "What is that, 80s techno funk?"

Dot winced at the explosion. "Yeah, a bunch of real crappy musicians make music that doesn't fit at all to the scene. It's amateurish, but we all assume that they were hired cheap."

Gohan muttered, "If they have the indecnecy to film our lives, at least do it to some good music..."

Nappa spoke up, sounding really crappa (I will not pretend that was funny, or original.) with his pseudo-tough voice. "The area may have been EVACUATED, but it will give them something to think about!"

Vegeta spoke in a decent but unusually soft voice, "Yeah, it's too bad it's sunday, those building's would've been full tommorow!"

The scene started to switch, but Gohan was confused. "Are they stupid or something? What kind of moron would believe that all those people Nappa vaporized somehow 'evacuated?'"

Dot explained, "Well, Funimation's trying to make money, so they don't want to offend any over-protective or whiny parents. Believe me, it isn't going to get better for a while."

"What HAVE I gotten myself into?"

The scene switched to where Nappa blew up a Helicopter. Gohan snarled again, he HATED it when innocent people died and didn't deserve it. Then Tien, sounding like a real wuss (I HATED his first voice actor, and his second isn't all that much better.) spoke up, "Look, I can see their parachutes! They're OK!"

Gohan grimaced, "I see what you mean. Boy, they REALLY think we're stupid, don't they?"

The scene flashed again. Kururin was holding his trademark Kienzan in the air. Good old Kururin. "Destructo Disk! Here, CATCH!"

Destructo Disk? What kind of a name is THAT?

As if he had read Gohan's thoughts, Dot responded, "Well, there are worse names. Tri-beam, Special Beam Cannon...."

The disk cut Nappa's cheek, and split a small mountain in half. The weird thing was, the cut didn't bleed. "....I've never had a cut that doesn't bleed."

Dot spat, "Censoring. WEll, to be honest, it gets better later. Oh well."

THe entire scene flashed forward to Planet Namek. Gohan blinked, "Wow, that was fast."

Vegteta blasted Kewi, "Time to send you....TO THE NEXT DIMENSION!"

What the heck is the next dimension?

"If I cross you're new dimension."

"TIme to be blown away....to ANOTHER DIMENSION!"

"....to the NEXT Dimension!"

Gohan yelled out, "ENOUGH!!!! Dear Kami, what is this DIMENSION crap?"

But the scene had already changed. Kururin was talking to Dende, "Don't worry, we'll take you back to you're dad and brother later dende!"

Gohan stood up, outraged, "Why the hell would he want to see corpses of his family? What kind of sick-"

Dot drew back, "Um....they're trying to hint that Dodoria DIDN'T kill Dende's family."

"....oh....they're stupid."

Kururin was speaking again, "Now I lay me down to sleep....."

Gohan snorted sarcastiacally, "Oh, so Kururin is now a member of the non-existant Christian-Buddhist sect?"

More such strange lines were thrown at Gohan, and the whole thing dragged along like a Batan Death March. Oh, but the worst had to be Rikuum, "Hey guys, can I take care of these two?"

Burter replied, "Ok, but if you don't finish in five minutes, no TV for a week!" (Insert stupid 'goofy' music here)

"Ok! I like to watch soap op-er-as."

Gohan groaned, and was relieved as the screen faded. Dot looked sad, "Well, now for the hard part."

"Um.....the hard part?"

"Yeah. While there was a lot of censoring, covering up death, and cuts, from here on, there are so many corny jokes it drove people like Acyla insane."



Dyani and her group crept along through the remains of the horror section. The blasted throne room was nearly the only room standing. "Why is it that every section we come to is destroyed?"

Vegeta's little Girl mused for a second, "Well, Ash CAN be irritating, and Gohan has a bit of a temper problem. *snicker* I imagine he blew up after watching what Ash put his family through."

Jevana piped up again, "Yeah, becasue he's so strong and stuff, and OOOOOOH, look here, this must be the branding iron Gohan used, and wowie yipperskippers (???) , look at the huge hole in that wall-"

SSJ4 interrupted, "Yo, what's going on here, the general sectio is blaring with screaming!"

Dyani noticed it too. "Oh NO! Dot wouldn't! He's....he's"

"He's what?"

"He's....showing the worst moments of our English Dub."

The other three gasped in horror, "How TERRIBLE! Making that poor boy sit through all that! *a mass stampede flees out of the section screaming* LOOK OUT!"



The next season got off to a riproaring start with Jeice and the australian accent that made Gohan want to strangle things. After a lingering pan of his rear-end, JAce hollered, um, unenthusiastically, "AAAAA! That does it mate! No one makes a fool of the GINYU FORCE!"

Oh, but it got worse too. Gohan cringed as he heard his father power up a kamehamaha. "DEAR GOD! It sounds like he's constipated.....I have never used that word in my life. Why DO I keep saying these things?"

Dot laughed, "Yeah, this one's famous. We all call it the Kamehamedump."

Gohan tutted at the fighting scenes too, "What's with all the 'uh uh er ah uh oooh er'ing'? Lord, if we yelled that much, we'd tire in minutes. Boy, it really gets annoying after a while too." (Once again, this was fixed in the Cell Saga.)

The next scenes were more bearable (some people overeact over stupid things,), though hearing Kururin say "Mondo Cool," was difficult. Then.....the horror.

Gohan on screen jumped up and down, "YEAH! GOOD OL' NAMEK, where BALLS are BORN!!!!!!!!!!"



".........I...did...not...hear myself...say that."

Then, the scene flashed to 'King Kai's' ("Who's king kai? You mean Kaiou?") Yamcha started talking, "Yeah Piccolo, You da bomb man! This is wack!"
Tien: "Yo dude, you rock! I'm going NUTS!"
Kaiou: "And remember 10 cents a minute! I still got it! HEEHEHEHEHE *snort**honk*otherfakeandmoroniclaughing*"

Gohan frowned, "Why are they talking like that? I don't get it, is that supposed to be funny?"

"Oh, you haven't heard ANY of the jokes yet."

The young saiyajin winced at the new voices. "Why does Furiza sound like a gay old lady? And, dear god, poor Mr. Piccolo."

"Just watch, we're getting closer to the end."

Oh, and Frieza had all sorts of wierd lines. "This way I won't break a nail. Oh yes, now I'm STOKED." But GOhan noticed a whole bunch of REALLY strange lines directed at Goku. "We coudl have been so good together...ohhhh. This CUNT be! (yeah, I checked the tape just to make sure)"

Then Gohan heard the new worst line ever, one that would haunt him in nightmares FOREVER.

"ALL RIGHT BIG GUY! Whatever TURNS YOU ON!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" GOhan curled up into a little ball and rocked back and forth, shaking. "No, the horror, the pain, the IMAGE! Dot, please make it STOP!"

Dot sighed, "Don't worry boy, the worst is over. That was the climax, it gets better from here....a little."

Gohan wimpered as the next scene rolled by. AFter more stupid lines, Furiza FINALLY died, but Gohan looked questioningly at Dot, "Did they say, 5 minutes? No, the planet took 3 hours to blow up. WHy does everyone think it was five minutes?"

The black dot paled, "Don't say that to anyone else, or the whole DBZ community will go into uproar. (oops)"

They zipped thorugh the next parts, and, aside from #19's helium-pumped voice, it was getting better. But then, to his dismay, Piccolo started jamming on the jokes again.

"What's the matter android, forgot to recharge you're batteries?"
"WELL, It's not over until it's OVER."
"*talking endlessly to Dr. Gero about good and happiness and 'the more you hurt others, the more it hurts you'*"

GOhan groaned, "Why are they picking on Mr. Piccolo? I've never heard him come even close to saying any of that....EVER!"

#16 sounded like someone talking lifelessly into a metal drum, with the "You guys are COOL!" line.

TO put the finishing touches on the whole ordeal, Kururin spouted off random nonsense lines.

"Glad I'm not a lightning rod."
"Mama-mia"
"COWABUNGA!" (I KNOW he said that somewhere.)

Gohan stood up, anger in his eyes. "How DARE they do that to Kururin." SO he HUFFED and he PUFFED and he blew the computer screen down. "That's terrible! Why don't they just translate it normally, what's with the stupid music, strange censoring, and god-awful punchlines?"

Dot sighed, "No one really knows, son. No one knows. Anyway, let's move on to some REAL stories now."

Gohan sat dejectedly, wondering what would come next.......



Steve and crew started moving again, stopping only when Agony returned. Growls and snaps indicated she hadn't really found anything, and she always took her anger out on Maddog (oh, I haven't forgotten you). Of course, the scenes are too hideous to describe, but Maddog always lived through it, due to the influence of her master.

Ash spoke sinisterly, "Well, MY sinister crew, Erik hasn't returned yet, maybe he found our little hero."

Steve smacked Ash upside the head, "MY sinister crew, not yours. Well, maybe you're right. If we find Gohan first, we wont NEED to get Paladone for Atyla....Acryla....what was her name again?"

"Atylla the Hun!"

"Oh yeah. I can find Paladone whenever I want, but this boy stalks the website like a natural disaster."

MAddog groaned from his latest heart-being-ripped-out-than-stuffed-back-in procedure from Agony. "Isn't that Erik over there?"

The others sat in disbelief as they watched Erik strut about, "Everything that is wrong in this world is becasue of...ME! I'm the worst excuse for a human being that ever.....LIVED! I'LL GET YOU AGONY, YOU'll!!.....um, oh sorry master."

Ash buried his face in his hands, "Oh come ON now. You knwo we don't write the next chapter until the crisis passes over, you can practive your lines later."

"I'll do my best....ASH! GOHAN! I'm COMING!!!!!!"

Erik sped off into the distance, while Steve went amd started banging his head against the wall.

To Be Continued....

What will happen next? Will Eric find and defeat Gohan, or be too distracted by....himself? Did Dyani and crew survive the stampede? Will Agony get anywehre near finding Paladone? (hint hint, no.) Stay tuned! Well, I'm REALLY not looking forward to the next chapter, that one's gonna be a doozy. I've kinda strayed from the original make-fun-of-stories sort of thing, but I'll get back to that in due time, once I get through this particular section. Ja Ne! ^_^ I'll try to get the next chapters out sooner than I have been lately.