Notes: Well, for the six of you that answered my question, only two were right. Henry, and ETERNAL BOB. YEs, now I can mock
you all. Mr. Popo was the only friendly character to absolutely humiliate and kick Goku's ass without retaliating later in
the series. Some said Kururin, Kururin has never won a fight against Goku, sadly enough. One said Tien, he won, but
only barely, but that was a good geuss. You'll all note that MORE sections have been added, and I refuse to do them. I mean, ANHST? SCI-FI? Stupid.
Well, as you all know, I'm late. Again. I've simply been busy with the forum and chat wars, and, you know, REAL LIFE. I
must admit, with the current state of the "Generation X" of DBZ fanfiction, and swarm of crappy flamers (not you, ITYG), I
was seriously considering leaving. However, due to the nice number of reviews, and, more importantly, a very ego-boosting e-mail from some anonymous person,
I've decided to stay at least until I finish this fic. K? Let's begin
Dyani and crew truged along down the dusty path. Jevena struck up "The yellow brick road," despite protests and groans
from SSj4, Dyani, and Vegeta's Little Girl. SJJ4 muttered, "Sounds like a crow dying in a sand storm...." (A/N: I decided
not to torture you Jevena, only bellitle you a bit ^_^)
Dyani was half-asleep while walking, thinking about the sad, depressing state of fanfiction on the net, when she realized JEvean
had stopped squak--er--singing. Ahead of them was one strange man, holding a poor little girl with big, puppy dog eyes, by the hair.
"...VEGGIECHICK!"
"Quit shouting at me. Please let me go mister! *gives sad, puppy-dog eyes*"
"....NO! I MUST make things RIGHT again! Where IS gohan."
"I don't know sir....*gives sad, puppy-dog eyes*"
"TELL MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"I really, really don't konw! I'm sorry. *gives sad, puppy-dog eyes*"
"WEll then....you will PAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Eric's arm morphed into a Really Nasty Looking Object (copyright) and the others could only stare in horror. A vortex opened
on the spot. 'I banish thee....TO THE CROSS-OVER SECTION!!!!!!!"
Veggie chick cried out *giving sad, puppy dog eyes*, and was sucked into the vortex. Then everything was still, and Eric
ran off, spouting Shakespear.
Everyone was silent. It all happened too quickly.
Jevena: "......Let's Follow the YELLOW BRICK ROA-"
"SHUT UP!" (I can hardly wait for the torture fic)
Gohan blinked, looking at the unusual surroundings, "I thought we were in the General Section last chapter?"
Dot looked confused too. "....the author must want us to see something. Oh, THAT must be it"
Gohan stared, new buildings had appeared, marked Angst, Sci-fi, Parody, and more. Then, a terrible, horrible, ugly thought
came to him. 'N-NO! W-we're not going to have to go THROUGH those are we?"
Dot shuddered. "No, I don't think so. Do you REALLY want to read a parody called, 'Pimpin' Goku?'" (Oh yes, I saw it in the just-in's earlier today)
Gohan stared incredulously, "What?"
"Exactly. Come on, let's go back inside." But before they could walk back in, a blinding nimbus of pure light appeared,
and Chelsee, the certifable GOD of action/adventures on all of ff.net, fell to the ground with a not so god-like crash. "Huh? Wha-?"
Gohan looked at her, "Um, are you ok? Your eyes look all dialated." (^_^)
Chelsee's eyes widened. "GOHAN! MOVIE #9 GOHAN!!!!!!!!!!!" She flew over to him with her Magic Writing Powers of Goodness and clasped him in a Magic Bear Hug, lifting him up.
Gohan choked, "*crack, pop* clkkkk, ow, think I broke a rib...."
Chelsee had a big grin on her face. "SO, he let me in after all! (A/N: TOLD YOU, TOLD YOU I WOULD) Great! I-" THen
the light flashed again, and she dissapeared to the crossover section along with Veggiechick, for no good reason at all. (Course, I never said WHAT I would do to you *evil grin*)
Gohan blinked, ".......huh?"
Dot shook it's head, "Come on, let's go back. I think I know where all the second generation authors have dissapeared to."
"Crossovers?"
But they were back in the General Section, and the next story started, called "Gender Swap" Gohan sighed and put
his hands behind his head. "Well, this should be interesting."
DOt chuckled, "Oh yes, it's VERY interesting."
Steve was pissed.
Very pissed.
"MAddog, I SWEAR TO GOD, if you fall into one more mud puddle, I think I'll scream."
"I-I'm sorry sir. It's just.....I-I can't stop thinking about Jevena."
Everyone stopped and stared at him. Mistress Storm Crow retorted, "Huh, she doesn't have the Arsenal that I do"
"I don't know. She's only a 6th grader but, I-I think I'm
in love."
Gohan Hugger looked very confused, "Where in the Home for Infinite Losers did that come from? You haven't even seen her yet, and you haven't mentioned
anything like this before!"
Ash looked perplexed, "Is this supposed to be funny?"
Steve snapped, "NEVER MIND!!!! Jeez, stay focused you people. Now then, here's the plan. Eric probably won't be able
to beat-"
Ash cried, "Now hold on, he's MY pokemon, he can handle that little wussy pussy. HA! Wussy pussy!"
"Shut up, ash. Now, Eric won't be able to completely beat him, but he'll keep the boy occupied. Gohan Hugger runs
up and traps him in a hug, while Mistress Storm Crow disorients him with her-"
Majin Vegeta looked up, "Yeah, yeah, you've said that enough already, paladone."
Fine. "Fine!" FINE!
"I'll get Gohan in a headlock and ban him, and Majin'll capture dot with his brute strength."
Ash yelled, "And I beat it sensless with SCUBA STEVE!"
Steve ".....no. And keep a leash on Agony, for god's sake."
Maddog looked worried, "Why do I have the feeling this plan is going to somehow backfire? I mean-" A loose brick fell on his head, knocking him out.
Savage looked concentrated, "What do you mean?"
MAddog's eyes opened, glazed. "Nrl....It seems like ever since Paladone dissa-" A boulder fell on top of his head, KNOCKING HIM OUT.
MAjin Vegeta blew up the boulder, "Keep going."
"UUrgghhhh.....I've bn tortured-ed-ed...ugh...and things haven't" A randomly placed building falls on top of him, KNOCKING HIM OUT.
Ash stood up, "THIS ISN'T FAIR, PALADONE! You're not even giving us a chance!"
No I'm not, you're right.
Ash screamed, "How DARE you say this to m-"
Ahem, back in the general section, the final scenario ended. Gohan stood trembling, trying to decide if he should be awed, terrified,
or start bursting into insane, maniacal laughter.
Dot looked at Gohan. "You look kinda frazzled."
Gohan spoke, voice shaking, "It...it was just us...just as the opposite sex. I don't really understand the point! Vegeta must have been the ugliest woman I have ever seen in my entire life
A-and, dear god, I NEVER want to see my mom look like a guy again."
"Well, we only have one to go, then we'll move on to DRAMA!"
Gohan sat down, "Oh GOODY. Drama. What, will we see fics where I'm going crazy or something, like I am right now."
Dot ignored Gohan, "The other story we're watching is by GALAXY POLICE AGENT 005!"
The boy blinked "o_O. Yeeeeaaaaaah, ok. Let's just start watching."
"My Unusual Journey, by Galaxy Police Agent 005. Rating: G Summary: In an unusual turn of events, a genie from a toaster
grants me a wish."
The voice finished speaking, while Gohan pondered over that. "Ok....so....a police agent makes a story about herself, involving
a genie, from a....toaster. Okaaaaaay. Great."
The story started up, except, strangely enough, everything is hapening from a first person point of view. The author seemed
to have problems deciding if she was talking in the past or present tense, but Gohan decided to look past that. She was
fixing a TV. Now she was fiddling with wires.
Gohan felt drowsy, "Gee, this is exciting, but what does this have to do with us.
"Just wait....."
Then, the girl used metal and pinesol and created a big TV.
Then she created a remote.
Then the TV didn't work.
Gohan sighed, "Dot, how long is this?"
"Bout 6 more chapters."
"GAH!"
Suddenly, out of nowhere, the TV started working, and a voice called, "YOU HAVE SUMMONED THE GENIE OF THE TOASTER!" The screen
warped, pink cows flew by, and the girl blacked out in a grassy field. The chapter ended.
Gohan blinked, "Huh? What? What happened? Where, when, how?"
The next chapter was already beginning. The girl's voice had changed, and she now had a tail, and she was a child again (were you ever an adult? ^_^)
"....What?" The strangness continued,
where she climbed trees and ate apples. T-Rex's mysteriously popped out of nowhere to chase her.
Gohan was snoring, but woken up by a familiar yell by dear Mr. Piccolo. "You're a saiyan."
"uh, yeah."
"Prepare to DIE!"
Gohan was getting more and more bewildered by what was happening. She and Mr. Piccolo argued, and then she saw Gohan, on screen. "Me again?"
She blushed, lowering her head. "Uh, why is her face red?"
Dot laughed, "She has a REAL big crush on you."
Gohan went red, "But I'm only 5 during this story! How could she have a crush on me?"
"Love know no age."
"5!?!?!"
Piccolo suddenly started to trust the girl, and trained her, all this from her point of view. Gohan sighed, "You know, Piccolo
doesn't ALWAYS train."
Then, the fight with Nappa began again, much as Gohan remembered it, except this time Celey kicked Nappa a few times, and the poin
of view switched to 3rd for a whole PARAGRAPH.
Gohan looked quizically at dot, "What was the point of that?"
"Uh, I don't know."
As the fight moved on, Celey became the main fighter, instead of Goku, fighting as an ape and getting the snot beaten out of
her. POV changes were happening all over the place now. Gohan was getting dizzy, "M-make it stop." The battle suddenly finished, and then....
"Huh? Wait a sec, what happens next?"
"That's it, for now. The story isn't finsihed."
Gohan felt like tearing peices of hair out of his head. "What do you MEAN it isn't finished. I HATE stories that aren't finished!"
"Aw well, come on, let's get out of here."
Gohan brightened up. "I forgot about that! Only two more sections, and I can leave? Gee, I wonder how Bulma and my Mom
are doing.......
Bulma tenderly rubbed the huge bump on her head while she and chichi read through the stories, in an attempt to find Gohan.
Chichi was still angry, swishing her Evil Cliched Frying Pan of Death back and forth. "I can't
believe you....so immature....my poor gohan. Oh, he's going to get so far behind on his studies....HEY! Now why does
everyone make me out to be such a tyranical mother! I'm not THAT bad.
Bulma looked on, "I dunno, everyone makes ME out to be an incredibly weak-willed woman. I never get any good stories...."
A voice roared from the training room, "WOMAN, the MINUTE I get out of here, I'm going to tear you apart and..."
Chichi looked confused, forgetting Gohan for a second. "What did you do to Vegeta?"
Bulma snorted, "He was being a baby, and trying to get back at you for hitting him on the head. I threw him in the gravity
room and set the power to 5000. Even at Super Saiyajin, he can't move."
Chichi looked down, "I hope what ever Gohan's doing, it's educational and informative......Darn it, I am NOT THAT obsessed
over studying! BULMA, I SWEAR, NEVER LET GOHAN EVER READ ANY OF THESE STORIES AGAIN!"
Gohan relaxed as he and dot finally exited the General section. He had finally made it through a whole section, and had
not blown up. Furthermore, he was only two sections away from his family, his friends, it would
even be nice to see Vegeta again, at this rate.
As they walked, a low, sinister, melodramatic laugh sounded, and a wall exploded in front of them. Eric made a Vegeta-style entrance,
a smirk on his face. Gohan's eyes widened in recognition, as Eric floated near him. "Heh heh heh.....time to pay, Gohan. Time
to-"
Then he remembered he couldn't fly, and fell to the ground, clanking like a tin can. "Ouch! DAMMIT ash, why couldn't
you make me fly during Consuming Madness!" (A/N He can't fly in Consuming Madness, I think he can in Atrocities, though,
so I'm going to pretend Atrocities hasn't been written yet, work with me here)
Gohan's eyes narrowed. "What do you want?"
Eric dusted himself. 'What, oh yes. GOHAN!!!!!! Time for you, to PAY!"
".....for what?"
Eric looked confused, "Um....for.....hold on."
The strange man looked through a script "Lesee, death, no, um, oh, was it for people everyhwere? Um."
Gohan looked bewildered at dot, but before Dot could say anything, Eric shouted, "FOR INSULTING MY MASTER!"
Without another word, his arm morphed into a chain gun, and he started blazing away at Gohan. While the bullets bounced and
ricoched off the boy (Hey, even MAster Roshi was nearly immune to bullets, and his power's hardly 134). Gohan looked quizically
at dot, "Why are people after me? I've hardly done anything here!"
Dot shouted over the roar, "Well, you DID destroy the humor section. And the Romance section. And the horror-"
Eric stopped, "Why won't it work! AARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" He launched himself at the boy from atop the wall, and threw a metal-fisted
punch. Gohan stepped back a little, and Erik smashed into the ground face-first in front of him, leaving a nice hole in the
ground.
Eric gasped melodramtically. "Wh-what is this? Why can't I WIN! NO, my injuries are too HORRIBLE, look at the size of this
scratch! GGAAQAAHHHH!" He attempted to morph his arm into a rocket launcher, but it malfunctioned, and changed to a
staple gun, which shot him in the foot.
The young saiyajin simply stared in bewilderment. This guy's an....idiot.
Once again, the arm morphed, this time into the Really Nasty Looking Object. "YOU SHALL PERISH.....in the CROSSOVER SECTION!!! If
I must be defeated...SO WILL YOUUUUUUUU!!!!"
Dot cried out, "NO! You're a madman! DON'T!!!!!!" (The drama is just overpowering, isn't it?)
To be continued.....
Sorry for being late. You're probably geussing what's going to happen next, so I need crossover submissions. BAD crossovers,
I mean the most generic, worst you can find, cause some of them aren't that bad. Oh yeah, they have to involve DBZ in some
way. K? Thanks!
