YAY! JOY TO THE WORLD! A DAY WITH NO HOMEWORK! PAISE THE SAINTS! Hehehe... yup's, Im'a happie. In celebration of this most glorious day, I've decided to write chapter four. This chapter isn't gunna be much, I don't think, just sum more development. Just bear with me, kay? It'll make the ending all the more sweeter, promise! ^_~
Disclaimer- My name ain't Craig. You know what that means.
Understanding Helga
Chapter Four- Don't you?
We kept on talking, and somehow, I think we covered almost every topic imaginable. Then, about an hour into it,
we finally got to a VERY touchy subject--for both of us....Lila.
"I don't see why you don't like her." Arnold says,
"I have my reasons." I say shortly,
"Like...?"
"LIKE...stuff that's none of your bussiness." I say,
"But, she's nice, smart, funny...pretty" I bite my toungue when I hear this. You know, to keep from screaming
something I may regret later. I narrow my eye's at Arnold,
"Yeah, yeah, I know, everybody loves her...you especially." the second that slips out, I clamp my hand over
my mouth and Arnold turns bright crimson. He looks down at his feet,
"Is it really that obvious?" he asks me. Oh great, now I'm sitting here talking about the Love of MY Love.
"Well, everyone knows, so how do you expect it not to be?" I scold him.
"I guess--"
"Especially when you let her drag you along like a little slave-boy! Carrying her lunch, going along with whatever
she says! Heck, if she strapped a collar on you, the only difference would be that people would be able to SEE
the leash she's got you by! And--uh..." I stop and look up at Arnold's horrified face. Babbling is not a good thing...
not when you're doing it about little-miss-perfect.
"Helga, I don't do that!" He defends. Oh please! Just who is he trying to kid? But that's when it clicks.
He doesn't know he's doing it.
"You don't know you're doing it." I breath in awe.
"What do you mean?" He asks. Of course! It's just like me! Sometimes, when I follow Arnold, I don't know what
I'm really doing until I'm standing there in a back alley. I've even found myself in the middle of one of my locket-
sonnets, not really remembering how I got started! Or the way I can just get out of bed and automaticly go to
my closet, even though I'm still basicly asleep! I wonder if ALL of humanity has a brain shut-off feature for when
they fall in love. Wait, Love? Arnold...Loves Lila? Not just like-like's her? If he's doing the same thing as me...
does that mean Arnold's in love with Lila? Arnold loves Lila... it might be the truth...
"Helga...Helga? HELGA?!" His voice snapped me out of my dream state, and I look at him.
"Um, what?" I say, stalling for time. Could he love her? Is it possible? What am I talking about?! Of coure it's
possible. My one true Love has fallen for the Human equivilent of Mary-Sue Sunshine.
"What did you mean by 'you don't know you're doing it'?" he asks me. Maybe I can convince him that I should go,
this little epihphoney has gone far enough. I just want to go home so I can contemplate over why this life is worth
living...I'm having trouble thinking up reasons right now. Arnold loves Lila, and It's all my fault. If I hadn't
written that stupid message on the wall, everything would be fine. Or--at least as fine as it ever was.
"Uh--Nothing, don't worry about it." I mumble. He looks at me strangly. Oh well, now or never,
"Look, Arnold," I said, looking up at his sky-light ceiling, "It's cleared up... maybe I should go home...or something.
I mean, I could always sneak in my window if they won't let me back in..." I didn't bother telling him that my
window was locked. It wasn't that important. He took my hand and I inwardly swoon. I give myself a good
mental slap. Let's remember Helga, he loves Lila, not you. Lila, not Helga.
"You're not going anywhere, Helga." he says with....what is that tone? I scoff, my defences renewed,
"You're not the boss of me, Footballhead!" I hiss, taking my hand back by force. My realization a few moments back
has given me just the boost of anger I need. I'll get myself out of this house, one way or another. I always have.
I watched as emotions flashed across Arnolds face. First hurt, then confusion, then frustration. His eyes narrow,
"Stop it, Helga! You can't possibly expect me to beilieve that anymore!" he says hotly. Okay, getting a bit edgy here,
"Believe what?" I say, trying to sound caulous and disjointed.
"Whatever you're doing right now! Why are you getting so mad because I Liked Lila?!" Oh, jeez, I wonder why...
Wait a second here... Liked? LIKED?! 'Liked' as in; 'I used to but don't anymore' Liked?!
"Liked?" I say, and regret it the second it's out of my mouth. In that one word, I let hope trickle into my tone. I can
only sit here and pray he didn't notice. Luckily, he was to caught up in his own confusion over what had been said,
"I mean...still--I think...It's almost..." he was saying to himself, trying to work something out in his mind. He sighed,
"I need some air." he stated, and then looks at me, "C'mon," he says, taking my hand again and pulling me off the bed,
"Where're we going?" I ask. As if I didn't already know.
"Up to the roof--If you want to." He says, smiling. I smile back. So much for my anger. Gone as fast as it came.
You know what? Good ridence.
He leads me up and I take a look at the view. I've always liked it up here, for all the times I've traveled to this place
in the secret of night. You can watch people run by-- and they don't know you're here. It's like looking at the the world
from a cloud. You're some neutral being, never interfearing, only watching the world unfold. It's makes you realize
how small you are--that all these people that you see walking by have lives that have nothing to do with you. There's
a full moon tonight, and it actually had a tinge of blue in it-- which to me had such laughable symbolism and irony that
I didn't even bother to name it. I stared up at it and smiled. The moon had always made me feel better. To think that
somewhere, far away, this little silver piece of perfection has taken it upon herself to provide the tides, a light
for the inky night skies and an everlasting source of Romance. I sigh out loud dreamily. Now the only thing that's
missing is...
Here.
Once again, I'm hurled into a rush of realization. Romantic full Moon in a quiet place away from people and
anything that disturbs. I've dreamed of this a hundred times. Each time I'm with Arnold, and He's the one with something
to confess. He would say those three small words to me, and I would admit everything. Thus, it would end with
a promise of Happily Ever After. If only that could be true. But still, I have to be strong. Strenth is all I need.
My mind suddenly informs me that he's watching me, and I turn around to face him. He's leaned against the raised
part of the glass cieling, smiling. I felt my knees go weak and prayed that I wouldn't collapse,
"What?" I say, laughing nervously.
"What are you thinking about?" he asks, smile still intact. Oh, you know, just how much I love you.
"Nothing, really." I lie, rubbing the back of my arm.
"That's not true." he informs me. I laugh,
"So you read minds now?" I joke, and he shrugs,
"I wish. It would help a lot when I'm talking to you."
"So I'm mysterious?" I say. He gives me a sideways glance. Like he's trying to figure something out,
"It's just like you're always trying to hide something from me." he concludes. My stomach turned upsidown and I
jumped a little. He was getting too close...every fiber of my being was telling me so.
"I--I'm not hiding anything." I squeaked. He closed his eyes and shook his head,
"The way you said that, you just proved that you are."
"No, no! I have nothing to hide, what could I possibly have to hide? Nothing!" I backed away a little.
"Tell me." he demanded in a friendly tone. I looked at the ground. I'm so tired of running circles around him to
keep my secret just that. But it's too late, I'm too used to boarding up my feelings. He'll never know.
"Can't." I reply gloomily. He approaches me,
"Why not? If it's really that bad, maybe I can help." I almost laugh. You, help me Arnold? Not unless you're secretly
hiding the fact that you're madly and desperatly in love with me.
"You can't." I tell him,
"But--"
"Just leave it, ok?" I cut in. I tilt my head up and look at the moon. He stands beside me and does the same,
"You're right about Lila." I hear him say out of the blue. I look at him, but he's still got his eyes on the sky,
"What do you mean?"
"When I'm around her--I've just been thinking about it-- I carry her lunch tray, her bag, her books... I do
whatever she tells me. Come to think of it, I don't really ever get a 'thank you' from her. Just an 'Anold, you know
I like you, but I just don't like-you like-you.'" he sighs confusedly, "I think I'm getting tired of it."
"No you're not." I assure him. He can't be tired of it, that's impossible. He looks back at me and grins,
"So now you can read MY mind?" he teases. I shake my head,
"You have to like any attention she gives you. Good or bad, otherwise it's not Love." when I say this, his eyes
widen and he raises an eyebrow at me.
"Love?" he questioned, "You think I...Love her?" I shrug nervously,
"Don't you?"
"No." He answers simply, not even thinking twice. Something in me finally relaxed and I was able to calm down. I
wanted to jump into his arms and hug him with every ounce of streanth I have. Bless the day! He doesn't love her! Wait,
this means I have to say somthing to him now...somthing that isn't along the lines of 'Oh my Footballheaded love God,
Happy be the day that you do not see the green-eyed snake, Lila, as your Love! Can you not see, my dearest? It is I
who am intoxicated by your being! I who...'
I should REALLY learn to stop doing that.
"Oh, well..." I start to say, but Arnold starts again,
"I mean, we're only in grade four...who do you know who's in love in the fourth grade?"
I bit my lip to keep my jaw from hitting the floor. Who do I know?! Let's think hard here. I feel a tinge of annoyence fizzle up inside me, and I look at Arnold stubbornly,
"There could be people, you don't know for sure!" I say. Gee, that didn't sound incriminating at all.
He shrugs and laughs, "Yeah, I guess." he agrees. I roll my eyes.
Once again, I will repeat what I have said numorous time in the past.
Dense. Absolutly lovable, but Dense.
"Helga?"
"Hmmm?"
"Why can't it stay like this?" Okay, that threw me for one. What is he talking about? I give him a dull look and he smiles sadly,
"Why can't you always be like this?" he elaborates. I look down and begin memorizing the collar of his shirt. I want it to stay like this, too. Why was I born a Pataki?! If he only knew how much I want to be able to talk to him like this every day. But I can't. I can't have people thinking I'm weak. Can you imagine what would happen if I suddenly became nice? People would walk all over me! Use me, abuse me and throw me away. That can't happen. I'll never give it the chance to.
"Arnold--"
"No, just listen." he inturrupts, "Helga, you're like this huge puzzle. I'm only working with so many pieces, but there's this one, gaping hole I'm missing in the most important place, I can tell."
I gulp and pray for the power to breathe.
"...I don't know what it is, and I wish I did. But Helga, you're...you're...I can't believe you can just cover yourself up like you do! You're...wonderful. Friendly, kind, soulful..." I keep on looking down. No, that isn't true, I'm none of that, am I? I'm glad it's night, because I'm sure my cheeks are burning a deep, crimson hue. His hand brushed against my arm and our eyes connected. Strange swirls of emotion pass through his eyes as he swallows hard and allows his lips to part,
"Beautiful..." he whispers. My arms have subconsiouly been placed on his shoulders,
"Arnold..." I'm not sure whether I said that aloud. His breath pushed little tendrils of hair away from my face. The heat is almost stifilling, the temption's unbearable. He leans in closer, and I begin to mouth the words 'I love you' but he shakes his head, siliencing me,
"Beautiful," he says again with conviction, "Helga..." Please, let it happen. Please...
I close my eyes. I can still feel his closness. His arms circle my waist.
I hope.
I pray.
I wait.
~~End of Chapter Four~~
MUWAHAHAHA!!! How be 'dat for a cliffhanger, huh? Gotta let you people dangle, see if I can get someone bashing thier head against the screen in agony for the next chapter. By the way....WOWIE!!! I have almost a hundred reviews! Thanks to everyone who's writtin' them in, I'm REALLY flattered! :::Blushes::: I'll try and get chapter's out sooner!
Untill soon, wishin' u...
Luv
Life
Luck
n' Lafta'
~*~C.D~*~
Disclaimer- My name ain't Craig. You know what that means.
Understanding Helga
Chapter Four- Don't you?
We kept on talking, and somehow, I think we covered almost every topic imaginable. Then, about an hour into it,
we finally got to a VERY touchy subject--for both of us....Lila.
"I don't see why you don't like her." Arnold says,
"I have my reasons." I say shortly,
"Like...?"
"LIKE...stuff that's none of your bussiness." I say,
"But, she's nice, smart, funny...pretty" I bite my toungue when I hear this. You know, to keep from screaming
something I may regret later. I narrow my eye's at Arnold,
"Yeah, yeah, I know, everybody loves her...you especially." the second that slips out, I clamp my hand over
my mouth and Arnold turns bright crimson. He looks down at his feet,
"Is it really that obvious?" he asks me. Oh great, now I'm sitting here talking about the Love of MY Love.
"Well, everyone knows, so how do you expect it not to be?" I scold him.
"I guess--"
"Especially when you let her drag you along like a little slave-boy! Carrying her lunch, going along with whatever
she says! Heck, if she strapped a collar on you, the only difference would be that people would be able to SEE
the leash she's got you by! And--uh..." I stop and look up at Arnold's horrified face. Babbling is not a good thing...
not when you're doing it about little-miss-perfect.
"Helga, I don't do that!" He defends. Oh please! Just who is he trying to kid? But that's when it clicks.
He doesn't know he's doing it.
"You don't know you're doing it." I breath in awe.
"What do you mean?" He asks. Of course! It's just like me! Sometimes, when I follow Arnold, I don't know what
I'm really doing until I'm standing there in a back alley. I've even found myself in the middle of one of my locket-
sonnets, not really remembering how I got started! Or the way I can just get out of bed and automaticly go to
my closet, even though I'm still basicly asleep! I wonder if ALL of humanity has a brain shut-off feature for when
they fall in love. Wait, Love? Arnold...Loves Lila? Not just like-like's her? If he's doing the same thing as me...
does that mean Arnold's in love with Lila? Arnold loves Lila... it might be the truth...
"Helga...Helga? HELGA?!" His voice snapped me out of my dream state, and I look at him.
"Um, what?" I say, stalling for time. Could he love her? Is it possible? What am I talking about?! Of coure it's
possible. My one true Love has fallen for the Human equivilent of Mary-Sue Sunshine.
"What did you mean by 'you don't know you're doing it'?" he asks me. Maybe I can convince him that I should go,
this little epihphoney has gone far enough. I just want to go home so I can contemplate over why this life is worth
living...I'm having trouble thinking up reasons right now. Arnold loves Lila, and It's all my fault. If I hadn't
written that stupid message on the wall, everything would be fine. Or--at least as fine as it ever was.
"Uh--Nothing, don't worry about it." I mumble. He looks at me strangly. Oh well, now or never,
"Look, Arnold," I said, looking up at his sky-light ceiling, "It's cleared up... maybe I should go home...or something.
I mean, I could always sneak in my window if they won't let me back in..." I didn't bother telling him that my
window was locked. It wasn't that important. He took my hand and I inwardly swoon. I give myself a good
mental slap. Let's remember Helga, he loves Lila, not you. Lila, not Helga.
"You're not going anywhere, Helga." he says with....what is that tone? I scoff, my defences renewed,
"You're not the boss of me, Footballhead!" I hiss, taking my hand back by force. My realization a few moments back
has given me just the boost of anger I need. I'll get myself out of this house, one way or another. I always have.
I watched as emotions flashed across Arnolds face. First hurt, then confusion, then frustration. His eyes narrow,
"Stop it, Helga! You can't possibly expect me to beilieve that anymore!" he says hotly. Okay, getting a bit edgy here,
"Believe what?" I say, trying to sound caulous and disjointed.
"Whatever you're doing right now! Why are you getting so mad because I Liked Lila?!" Oh, jeez, I wonder why...
Wait a second here... Liked? LIKED?! 'Liked' as in; 'I used to but don't anymore' Liked?!
"Liked?" I say, and regret it the second it's out of my mouth. In that one word, I let hope trickle into my tone. I can
only sit here and pray he didn't notice. Luckily, he was to caught up in his own confusion over what had been said,
"I mean...still--I think...It's almost..." he was saying to himself, trying to work something out in his mind. He sighed,
"I need some air." he stated, and then looks at me, "C'mon," he says, taking my hand again and pulling me off the bed,
"Where're we going?" I ask. As if I didn't already know.
"Up to the roof--If you want to." He says, smiling. I smile back. So much for my anger. Gone as fast as it came.
You know what? Good ridence.
He leads me up and I take a look at the view. I've always liked it up here, for all the times I've traveled to this place
in the secret of night. You can watch people run by-- and they don't know you're here. It's like looking at the the world
from a cloud. You're some neutral being, never interfearing, only watching the world unfold. It's makes you realize
how small you are--that all these people that you see walking by have lives that have nothing to do with you. There's
a full moon tonight, and it actually had a tinge of blue in it-- which to me had such laughable symbolism and irony that
I didn't even bother to name it. I stared up at it and smiled. The moon had always made me feel better. To think that
somewhere, far away, this little silver piece of perfection has taken it upon herself to provide the tides, a light
for the inky night skies and an everlasting source of Romance. I sigh out loud dreamily. Now the only thing that's
missing is...
Here.
Once again, I'm hurled into a rush of realization. Romantic full Moon in a quiet place away from people and
anything that disturbs. I've dreamed of this a hundred times. Each time I'm with Arnold, and He's the one with something
to confess. He would say those three small words to me, and I would admit everything. Thus, it would end with
a promise of Happily Ever After. If only that could be true. But still, I have to be strong. Strenth is all I need.
My mind suddenly informs me that he's watching me, and I turn around to face him. He's leaned against the raised
part of the glass cieling, smiling. I felt my knees go weak and prayed that I wouldn't collapse,
"What?" I say, laughing nervously.
"What are you thinking about?" he asks, smile still intact. Oh, you know, just how much I love you.
"Nothing, really." I lie, rubbing the back of my arm.
"That's not true." he informs me. I laugh,
"So you read minds now?" I joke, and he shrugs,
"I wish. It would help a lot when I'm talking to you."
"So I'm mysterious?" I say. He gives me a sideways glance. Like he's trying to figure something out,
"It's just like you're always trying to hide something from me." he concludes. My stomach turned upsidown and I
jumped a little. He was getting too close...every fiber of my being was telling me so.
"I--I'm not hiding anything." I squeaked. He closed his eyes and shook his head,
"The way you said that, you just proved that you are."
"No, no! I have nothing to hide, what could I possibly have to hide? Nothing!" I backed away a little.
"Tell me." he demanded in a friendly tone. I looked at the ground. I'm so tired of running circles around him to
keep my secret just that. But it's too late, I'm too used to boarding up my feelings. He'll never know.
"Can't." I reply gloomily. He approaches me,
"Why not? If it's really that bad, maybe I can help." I almost laugh. You, help me Arnold? Not unless you're secretly
hiding the fact that you're madly and desperatly in love with me.
"You can't." I tell him,
"But--"
"Just leave it, ok?" I cut in. I tilt my head up and look at the moon. He stands beside me and does the same,
"You're right about Lila." I hear him say out of the blue. I look at him, but he's still got his eyes on the sky,
"What do you mean?"
"When I'm around her--I've just been thinking about it-- I carry her lunch tray, her bag, her books... I do
whatever she tells me. Come to think of it, I don't really ever get a 'thank you' from her. Just an 'Anold, you know
I like you, but I just don't like-you like-you.'" he sighs confusedly, "I think I'm getting tired of it."
"No you're not." I assure him. He can't be tired of it, that's impossible. He looks back at me and grins,
"So now you can read MY mind?" he teases. I shake my head,
"You have to like any attention she gives you. Good or bad, otherwise it's not Love." when I say this, his eyes
widen and he raises an eyebrow at me.
"Love?" he questioned, "You think I...Love her?" I shrug nervously,
"Don't you?"
"No." He answers simply, not even thinking twice. Something in me finally relaxed and I was able to calm down. I
wanted to jump into his arms and hug him with every ounce of streanth I have. Bless the day! He doesn't love her! Wait,
this means I have to say somthing to him now...somthing that isn't along the lines of 'Oh my Footballheaded love God,
Happy be the day that you do not see the green-eyed snake, Lila, as your Love! Can you not see, my dearest? It is I
who am intoxicated by your being! I who...'
I should REALLY learn to stop doing that.
"Oh, well..." I start to say, but Arnold starts again,
"I mean, we're only in grade four...who do you know who's in love in the fourth grade?"
I bit my lip to keep my jaw from hitting the floor. Who do I know?! Let's think hard here. I feel a tinge of annoyence fizzle up inside me, and I look at Arnold stubbornly,
"There could be people, you don't know for sure!" I say. Gee, that didn't sound incriminating at all.
He shrugs and laughs, "Yeah, I guess." he agrees. I roll my eyes.
Once again, I will repeat what I have said numorous time in the past.
Dense. Absolutly lovable, but Dense.
"Helga?"
"Hmmm?"
"Why can't it stay like this?" Okay, that threw me for one. What is he talking about? I give him a dull look and he smiles sadly,
"Why can't you always be like this?" he elaborates. I look down and begin memorizing the collar of his shirt. I want it to stay like this, too. Why was I born a Pataki?! If he only knew how much I want to be able to talk to him like this every day. But I can't. I can't have people thinking I'm weak. Can you imagine what would happen if I suddenly became nice? People would walk all over me! Use me, abuse me and throw me away. That can't happen. I'll never give it the chance to.
"Arnold--"
"No, just listen." he inturrupts, "Helga, you're like this huge puzzle. I'm only working with so many pieces, but there's this one, gaping hole I'm missing in the most important place, I can tell."
I gulp and pray for the power to breathe.
"...I don't know what it is, and I wish I did. But Helga, you're...you're...I can't believe you can just cover yourself up like you do! You're...wonderful. Friendly, kind, soulful..." I keep on looking down. No, that isn't true, I'm none of that, am I? I'm glad it's night, because I'm sure my cheeks are burning a deep, crimson hue. His hand brushed against my arm and our eyes connected. Strange swirls of emotion pass through his eyes as he swallows hard and allows his lips to part,
"Beautiful..." he whispers. My arms have subconsiouly been placed on his shoulders,
"Arnold..." I'm not sure whether I said that aloud. His breath pushed little tendrils of hair away from my face. The heat is almost stifilling, the temption's unbearable. He leans in closer, and I begin to mouth the words 'I love you' but he shakes his head, siliencing me,
"Beautiful," he says again with conviction, "Helga..." Please, let it happen. Please...
I close my eyes. I can still feel his closness. His arms circle my waist.
I hope.
I pray.
I wait.
~~End of Chapter Four~~
MUWAHAHAHA!!! How be 'dat for a cliffhanger, huh? Gotta let you people dangle, see if I can get someone bashing thier head against the screen in agony for the next chapter. By the way....WOWIE!!! I have almost a hundred reviews! Thanks to everyone who's writtin' them in, I'm REALLY flattered! :::Blushes::: I'll try and get chapter's out sooner!
Untill soon, wishin' u...
Luv
Life
Luck
n' Lafta'
~*~C.D~*~
