:::Ahem::: Drumroll, please. :::Drumroll::: Chapter Five! Yup, you people finally made me write it!!! :::Grumbles::: with all those please's (and a couple a' threats that got me a lil' more motivated.) So here goes, I'm guess you'd be wanting the story right about now. Could I have another drumroll? ^_^
Disclaimer- FAN-Fiction. Note the word *FAN*
~*~Understanding Helga~*~
Chapter Five- Indescribable /Cry into the Night
So close. She smells perfect. She IS perfect. I put my arms around her waist mindlessly. I'd love to say that I have some control over what's happening right now. But I don't, and I'm glad. Her lips brush against mine, and I've never felt anything so soft. But the energy! It sends a jolt through my body, and I pull away to make it stop. I have to, I'm not sure where all this raw power is coming from,
"Helga!" I say, a little alarmed, when I've disattached myself from her. I already miss how warm she was...wait! No I don't! Hold on, what just happened?! Did I...Did I almost kiss Helga? Wait a minute, no! Our...we...against mine...touched. So--we kissed?! I kissed Helga G Pataki?! Or, did she kiss me? It feels like pure energy is pulsing through my viens, and even though I don't like it, I have to admit...I DID like it. Her cheeks are glowing and she studies the ground shyly. She's not the only one.
"I....Arnold...What just....I..." she throws up her hands in exsaperation. I catch her eye and we stare at eachother. Her
eyelashes flutter and I find myself hypnotized by the crystal-blue gaze that holds my own so steadily. I smile at her to
try and dissolve the akwardness between us. And it works, a little. She smiles back weakly, and I clear my throat,
"Maybe...we should go back inside." I say, not taking my eyes off hers for a second. Yes, that's a good idea. This
evening setting wasn't do much to help calm these wierd feelings that suddenly threatened to spill over. Why haven't I ever
noticed how...how...how completly captivating, how perfectly mesmorising she is until tonight? You'd think a personality
like her's would show though anything, but she kept hers buried under all those things she hated so much. Her family,
her life, her...self. Yes, she had said she was nothing. How could she think that? She was Nothing?! She was more
then I ever thought she could be! She looks at me and nods, agreeing to what I had said. She brushes by me as she
heads for the entrance back into my room, and I acciedently catch the scent of her. I think I may just go insane now.
What's happening to me? Helga never had any affect on me before. She's just a girl. Actually, she's more like one of the
guys with a pink dress. But the dress was gone, and she was DEFFINITLY not one of the guys. Ok, I just gotta
snap out of it. It's just Helga. Just Helga who wrote that poem, who smelled so great, who had that pretty smile...
ARGH! This is going nowhere! At least, nowhere I want to go...I think. What am I doing?! It was just an acciedent!
Helga's proably forgot anything happened by now! And even if she didn't, she wouldn't care! Would she?
I climbed back down to my room and found her lying nonchalantly on my bed, gazing up intently at the stars,
"Nice, arn't they?" I comment, sitting down next to her casually. She looks at me and smiles,
"Yeah, but I wish I knew something about the constalations...I don't even know where the Big Dipper is!"
"You don't?" I ask. I thought most people knew that. Grandpa taught me the name of every constalation and its position.
Helga shook her head, "Nope."
I smiled and pointed at a set of stars, "That's the Big Dipper." I say. She followed my hand with her eyes and looked
at the constalation, "Really?" she asks curiously.
"Yeah, and that's the Little Dipper, and that's Cassiopia..." I begin, pointing to the other constelations in turn. I showed
her more constelations, and she listened and watched me closly. I could only show her a few, because there was alot of
'light pollution', as Grampa calls it. We talked more after that. I didn't know I could talk to a person this long without
getting bored. Maybe it's because there's nothing boring about her. You know, she really is...well she's...she's...
indescribable. And I thought Lila was amazing.
Lila, oh yeah.
I can't really think of what I saw in Lila to make me Like-Like her anymore. I mean, sure she's polite, but so are airline stewardesses. She's just so... permenetly happy. No one can be so satisfied with everything all the time. And she DOES
drag me around all the time getting me to do things for her, like Helga said. I think that's what annoys me the most. I mean,
if she doesn't like-me like-me, then why does she lead me along? Aw well, it doesn't matter now. I tried to
keep my distance from Helga. I was actually afriad I would do something stupid like I did on the roof. But then...maybe
it wasn't THAT stupid...It did feel...
Ever wish you could shut your brain off?
But it was kind of hard. I mean, we were sitting on the same bed! I caught myself a couple of times, holding her hand
and sort of mindlessly playing with her long, slim fingers. She actually didn't seem to mind, so niether did I. Slowly,
Helga's steady stream of conversation seems to end, and soon it's gone completly. I'm looking away from her, at a
wall. Believe it or not, it's a good thing this happened, because a question has been at the back of my mind, bothering me
for some time now,
"Helga?" I call, but get no responce. I continue anyways,
"Helga, you know when I asked you if I thought you were nothing? You never gave me an answer. I hope that's not
what you think. You're one of the most amazing people that I've ever met, and I think I---" I turned around to face her
at that moment, and I realised why she wasn't answering me.
She was curled up next to me, fast asleep.
I smile down at her, "I think I--" I whisper, but my thoughts stop there. You think you what, Arnold? I was about to tell
her something in that one moment, but I waited too long and now I've forgoten what it was. I search my mind for the
forgoten sentance, but I only come up with that familiar jump in my chest that comes from looking at her too long.
I feel myself grin gently as I watch a smile play over her face. She must be dreaming. She looks so peaceful, so calm,
so happy. Her hair spills down over her shoulders and my bedsheets while her chest rises and falls rythmaticly. I
wonder if this is what Angels look like. It'd be a shame to wake her up now just so she can move to the couch. It won't
kill me to sleep there for one night. I carefully get off the bed, making sure not to wake her. Cautiously opening my
closet door, I take out a pillow and some sheets I keep on reserve for when Gerald sleeps over. While I'm setting up
a makeshift bed, I glance at the clock. 2:06am?! No way! I wasn't talking to her for that long! Or at least...it didn't seem
like it. Before I go to sleep, I cheeck on Helga one more time. She still has that sweet smile. I touch her cheek with
my hand, to make sure she's really here. I feel her warmth on my fingertips and I sigh. This was real, this was Helga.
"Goodnight, Helga." I whisper to her sleeping figure. She stirs a bit in her dream and breaths somthing inaudible.
I turn off the lights and climb under the sheets on the couch.
I fell asleep, not able to get the smile off my face.
My last thoughts were of her.
Helga.
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I wake up with a warth that I had only dreamed about glowing inside of me. I'm laying on somthing soft, and I feel my
cheeks burn when I realise what it is.
Arnold's bed.
I sat up and rubbed under my eyes. It's still nighttime outside. When I check the digital clock, I see that the neon
indigo digits are beaming '3:27am' at me. What am I doing up?! What am I doing in his bed?! But most importantly...
Where is he?!
I hear someone sigh softly near me. I turn around, and find Arnold, sillouetted in the dark of the night, sleeping on the
couch. I smile. Of course, he's much to gentelmanly to wake a sleeping girl up. Even if it is me. I hug my knees and tilt
my head in thought, focusing on something I hadn't been able to when I was with him...
That one...worderful...kiss...
ARNOLD KISSED ME!
...or, I kissed Arnold...Oh, who cares! The point is it happneed! No school play, no forced-into-it-because-it's-in-the-script,
it was just because it happened! It was the most fantasic moment of my life! I don't think my feet touched the ground! I couldn't have told you what my name was! And it would've lasted longer if he haden't...if he haden't...
pulled...away...
He pulled away.
He HAD, the second we touched, I remember it now! And then he had shouted my name to get me out of my trance.
How could I have not have seen it earliar?! How stupid can a person be?! That's why it ended so fast! What a fool I am!
He was proabaly thinking about Lila! Naturally, the only one worthy of his affections is the one he would picture!
He didn't want to kiss me! He probably didn't want to be near me! How could I have thought anything different?!
What am I doing here? Why did I stay? How could I let myself be lulled into this moronic dream. To think, I had
myself believing that Arnold liked-me liked-me! Criminey! I'm an idiot! How could a person like Arnold LOVE me?
I can't believe it took me until now to re-remember who I am!
"I'm Helga G. Pataki." I whisper to the Dark, "The fourth-grade bully. I'm Helga G. Pataki, the one everyone loves to
hate. The one no one is ever satisfied with. I'm nothing good, I'm nothing at all..." It was all true. They all saw right
through me and let me pass them by. They never saw who I was. Only the Blonde Angel who sleeps near me now has
every fully seen the true me. But even that wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to make him love me. I was never good
enough for him! Oh Arnold, how dare you! I hand over my heart to you, and this is all that comes of it! But I know it's not
his fault. Why should he care about me? I'm just the girl who treated him like trash for six years. He has no attachment to
me whatsoever. I feel something wet slide down my cheek. Great, does the roof leak? I touch the wet spot with my
fingers and find it's warm. Drops of water from outside arn't usually warm, to my knowledge. I touch the wetness to
my toungue. It's salty. I finally feel the strange senstation in my eyes. No, it can't be...
I'm crying?
I thought I'd fogotten how to cry. But I am. I remember this feeling from so long ago. When I was small, this happened
often. And I thought that the last of my tears had dried up forever when I was five. Why can nothing ever be forever?
Why couldn't Arnold have left me where I was in the park? Why couldn't he have just let me suffer there, instead of
letting me fall to pieces in his room? I try to get the steady stream of salty wet to stop, but to no avail. It only comes faster,
more pronouced then before. That's because I know now. All my doubts from before are gone. Throughout our
conversation he had held my hand, and it had made me hope. It had made me doubt the lonliness that I had and would
assuredly spend my years in. But the doubt dissolved, and now there is only the knowledge of misunderstanding. Their
misunderstanding for me, because truly, who could ever undestand Helga? I look into the darkness of the room, which
reminds me so much of my state in life that I'm almost forced to smirk. I close my eyes painfully and breath,
"I am Helga G. Pataki..." I annouce quietly to the silence, "...and nobody loves me."
I continue to sob, the sound of my crying choked out by the nothingness that surrounds me.
This would be the time I would wish for somthing.
But I can't find anything worth wishing for, except what I cannot have.
Love.
Arnold.
Hope.
But what's the point of wishing, if all you'll ever do is wish?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wake up when I hear the noise. It sounds so sad, but where is it comeing from? I turn myself over on the couch and
look around the room. It's the sound of someone crying, and it's breaking my heart to hear. But there's only one other
person in this room with me....
No, it couldn't be Helga...
Could it?
I let my eyes adjust the the lack of light in the room and I see her, sitting up from my bed. The sound emminate's from her
and I'm struck by the fact. I never thought she could, but she is.
She's crying. Softly, and to herself, with no intention of waking me up. But she did. And there's no way I'm letting
her go through this kind of pain herself.
"Helga?" I say to her, hoping she'll answer me. I see her head move in the dark.
"Arnold?" she replies hoarsly, and I get off the couch, walking blindly before turning on a nearby lamp. Softly diffused
light spilled into the room and I she her face fully again. Her eyes are red and swollen, but still beautiful. Her salt-streaked
face looks at me sadly as fresh tears melt in her eyes, rolling down her flushed cheeks.We look at eachother, and niether
one of us knows what to say. I can't stand seeing her like this, and all I want to do is to make all of her problems go away.
But I don't know how.
So, what do I do now?
~*~End of Chapter Five~*~
Yay! Next stop, Chapter Six! I know this was probably crap to you guys, but I've been going through some major
writer's block, plus I've been sick :::sniffle...::: So what did you guys think of it? Don't forget to R&R ^_~ If
you didn't like this chapter, I promise a better Chapter Six soon, promise!
Till soon, Wishin you
Luv
Life
Luck
n' Lafta
~*~CD~*~
