Final Part! Final Part! Gonna be a very LONG final part...but FINAL PART! Sorry this took SO
long, guys. My homeworks building up on me again :::Pouts::: Anyways, here goes, the last
chapter (and I hope you don't hate it) Of Understanding Helga...
Disclaimer- If I own Hey Arnold, then I've also gotta dance club hiding under my bed.
~*~Understanding Helga~*~
Chapter Six- Understanding Helga
I bury my face into my hands, hoping that he would leave me alone. Please, just make him go away. Without
warning, he sits down on the bed and puts his arms around me. I'm so dizzied by his presence that I feel like
I'm falling. I snap myself out of it. Yeah, Helga, this would be impressive IF he liked you. But I don't want to
move. I won't move. I don't care if he doesn't feel anything for me. I still love him, and I'm going to drain
every last drop of closness from this moment that I can. I rest my head on his shoulder and he smooths down
my hair. I want to look up at him, but the meer sight of his innocent face brings me to tears,
"Helga..." he whispers into my ear tenderly, like he would do for anyone, "What happened? What's wrong?"
I have to stop crying, he doesn't want to see this, this has to be uncomfortable for him. Besides, I'm Helga G.
Pataki! Crying is beneeth me! What's wrong with me?!
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." I sob into his neck, I can feel my tears falling from me onto him. Please let him forgive
me, I didn't mean to cause all this trouble for him...What am I on about? Helga LIVES to cause trouble
for Arnold. Oh, come on Helga! Suck it up, you braindead Brat!
"Shhh...you have nothing to be sorry for. Please, Helga, tell me, what's the matter?" he comforts, hugging my
tighter until I finally put my arms around his neck and hug him back. If only this didn't feel so good.
I let out a ragged sigh and spoke,
"Arnold...please, just... I don't want you to see me..." I break into tears again and pull myself closer to him.
"Helga, it's okay to cry...But Helga, I need to know why." I kept on crying, tears flooding down my red-hot
cheeks. My temples pound like a drum and my heart aches like never before, But I stay quiet.
There's something going on in my head. Some sort of power control fight. It's hard to explain. On one
hand, I wanna kill this stupid Footballhead for getting so cozy with me and watching me blubber like an
idiot, but on the other, I want to pull him close and kiss him like I should've up on roof. But which side is winning?
Arnold lets go of me with one arm. He puts his free hand under my chin and tilts my head up to meet his gaze.
I look away and become instantly facinated with a wall. Oh, I hate him! Why should I have to avert my eyes?
"Helga, look at me." he urges. And, stupid me, I do as he says. He's faint and blurred through my watery gaze,
but I can still sence his genuine concern. Naturally, this is Arnold, he's concerned about anyone and anything
that crosses his path. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't he have let me deal with my sham of a life
on my own instead of bringing me here to have a breakdown in his room in the middle of the night?
"You should have let me stay where I was." I sob to him hoarsly, voicing my thoughts. He had begun
to take a on a semi-recognisible shape to my eyes, and I watched his reaction. He looked at me strangly, and
brushed some of the hair that had fallen into my face away, tucking it behind my ear carefully,
"You know I couldn't do that, why would I?" he says to me. He was perfectly visable by now, still in his
normal clothes. I realised I was, too. He continues,
"Helga, you're my friend, you know that I'll always help you."
I looked at him solomly, thinking of how I felt right now, and who had made me feel that way. Him.
"Maybe you weren't helping." I say, pulling away from him, though I regreted doing so so much that it actually
caused pain. I know I can't really blame this on him. He doesn't know what's going on. He's just being
himself. He moves closer and pulls me back into his arms. I dig my feet into the carpet, to make sure I'm
not floating... stop it Helga! You mean nothing to him, remember?! He looks down at me,
"Why wasn't I? Helga, tell me." he whispers to me, sending shivers up and down my spine. I pick myself
up a little so that I was at his eye level. The sudden craving to tell him everything was becoming overwhelming,
and I prepared myself to tell him all he could hear,
"You've never felt what it's like to be alone." a lone tear slides down my cheek, and I brush it away scornfully,
"To be unnoticed by the people who should care about you most." I explain to him, and he looked down on me
warmly, though slightly sad,
"Helga, you're not alone--"
"Yes I am." I mumble to him. I hug him as tightly as I dare. AM I CRAZY!? Let go of him! Let go of him NOW!
"I must've done horrible things, Arnold, because it always comes back to me. That's why I'm so...I'm so..." my
voice breaks and I let out a whimper. God, what am I? A lost dog? SHUT UP HELGA! YOU SOUND
PATHEDIC! I try to scowl at him, glare at him, SOMETHING! But...nothing comes out. I guess that
answers my question on which side of my mind is winning.
"What, Helga?" He asks, looking into my eyes.
"So..." I breathe, and search my mind for what I thought of myself.
Finally, I find the right word,
"Worthless." I say.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I almost choke when I hear her say that and look at her closly. No, she's not telling the truth!
She is.
But, it isn't true! "No Helga, you're not," I tell her. Her eyes are still watery, and I have the urge to get rid of her
tears. I want to destroy anything that makes her sad. I just want to see her smile. She's hugging me closly, and
I suppose it should be painful, but I wouldn't trade this in for anything. I don't know what's going on. I should be
acting like her brother, her friend, in time like this. But for some reason, I can't seem to get over the fact of how...
amazing she is...I don't know. It's just that she's looking at me with so much saddness,
and all I want to do is find a way to assure her that everything will be alright,
"I must be," she replies. I try to get closer to her, but find that's not really possible, we're already as close as we can be.
"Helga," I whisper to her, "Look at yourself. You're talented, you're smart, you alway's there when people need you,
and, when you're not doing whatever 'mean' act you put up to the world, you're one of the most likeable people
I've ever met." I tilt my head in uncomphension, "How can you call yourself worthless?" She was silent.
That was supposed to make her feel better, and it was all true, every word. Except I had left out how
beautiful she is. I didn't want to say that, because I
still remember what happened when I did a few hours ago. I ran my fingers through her hair, feeling the texture
and watching the dim light play off its shine. So soft, there was no way this could be real. I remember that
she smelt wonderful on the roof, the scent was stronger now I was going through the mind-wracking task of
trying to figure out what it was. Vanilla maybe? No, it was sweeter. This is almost like being in a dream. I
feel...lightheaded, and it's not because of any soap or perfume of hers... What is this?! I've been trying to think
of the way I feel for so long, but I can't come up with anything! The strange jumps in my chest, the way I always
want to be close to her, the way my palms are sweating right now, the way I feel strangly calm...whole,
when I'm close to her. The way I love everything about Helga!
Hang on a minute...There's a simpler way of saying that, I'm sure there is...
Let's see...The way I love everything about Helga...
"Do you mean that, Arnold?"
I love Everything about HELGA?!
"Arnold?"
I LOVE HELGA?!?!
"ARNOLD?!" Helga's voice shouts to me, and I bolt back into the real world,
"Huh?" I mumble, looking at her. No, it isn't true. I don't LOVE her...do I? What does Love feel like?
I mean this kind of Love...Wait, why do I even care?! Maybe it's too late at night, I'm not thinking
rationally. How could I LOVE Helga G. Pataki?! Just because she's the most...
Snap OUT OF IT Arnold!
"Do you mean it?" she asks me again. Do I mean it? I don't know, this is different then what I felt for Ruth,
Summer, even Lila. I look at her, and I'm once again hit with the force of her electric eyes, peering at me from
underneeth her long, sweeping eyelashes. Her face is hidden under her thick gold curls. She smiled at me, and
I can swear she's blushing. Do I mean it?
"Yes, I do." I reply astonishedly. She thinks I'm talking about what I said about her before. But I'm not. She
rests her head on my shoulder again, and I get that dizzy, soaring feeling again, only now, I know why. Am I
going insane? No, I've just...fallen in Love with Helga. If Gerald were here right now, he'd tell me it's the same
thing. At least, I think it's Love. I don't have anything to compare it to. But I know it's strong, and it makes
you feel weak. And I don't think I've ever been as happy as I am right now. Yes, I do love her. And if I don't
love her, then I like her more then...anything else I can think of right now. But I would be even happier If she
wasn't still close to tears. I mentally kicked myself for not telling her what I thought of her before this happened.
Wait, I just remembered it! What I was trying to tell her before she fell asleep! I know what I was going to say!
"I think I love you." I whisper silently to myself. Helga looked up at me innocently and I broke into a sweat.
Had she heard me?
"What did you say, Arnold?" she asked curiously. I held my breath,
"You didn't hear me?"
She shook her head, and I was finally able to exhale. I'm glad she didn't hear, because I don't want her to know.
I mean, come on, this is Helga. Up until tonight, we were a hair away from being enemies. How can I tell her
that I love her now? She'd probably laugh in my face! Okay, maybe not, she's too nice for that, but she would
still turn me down. And I'm not sure if I could take that.
"Well, c'mon, what did you say?" She repeated, "I want to know."
Oh no, I have to think of a way to get out of this! Red Alert!
"No!" I say nervously, then compose myself. "I'd...I'd rather talk about you." I answer truthfully.
She bit her lip and frowned. Great, she's sad again. Arnold, can't you get anything right?!
"What's there to say?" she asked me, laughing sadly, "I'm ignored and looked over. No one see's me for who
I am, they just want to see the bully. So that's who I give them, because It's so much easier for them to
hate someone they don't know, isn't it?" she let out a faint sigh and I looked into her eyes, shining with tears.
Who did this to her? I'll make them pay for hurting her like this!
"Helga, no one hates you." I tell her
she scoffs quietly, "That's a lie, and you know it."
"No it--"
"It's this one huge act I have to put on everyday, and I just can't anymore!" she continued, inturpting me,
"Everyday, I always have to be the girl everyone wants to see. Criminey, I'm a trained preformer! And it's
just..it's just...." She blinked to keep her renewed tears from spilling. It didn't work, they flooded
her face anyways. I kept my arms around her tigthly as she sagged against me.
"It's my own fault that nobody loves me." she murmured to me. I invoulentarily gasp, forcing her to look at me.
"Don't say that!" I scold her, releasing one of my hands and wiping away her tears.
"It's TRUE." she persists miserably. I force my mouth into a determined line, even though I'm terrified by the fact
that this blameless girl--The girl I love-- thinks it's her fault that people hurt her,
"Helga, I never want you to say that again." I command her patiently, "I never want you to even think that
again. People DO love you, Helga. And you don't have to act the way anyone wants you to be. You're
not them, you don't have to make them happy. No one's asked you to preform for whatever....jerks that
expect you to be however they think you should act!" I finish with a glare to the sky, for whoever was
making Helga think this way. She sat there, wide-eyed from my outburst, and shakes her head wearily.
"Name one." she says finally, and I look at her questioningly,
"Name one what?" I ask,
"You said there are people who love me. Well, name one." and she looks at me, waiting for an answer.
Me! I love you! If she only knew! But how can I tell her? I want to, but there's this part of my mind that
KNOWS I'd just be setting myself up for Rejection.
"Your Parents." I answer automaticly, probably not the greatest example, and we both knew it.
"If they do they don't show it. Mirium's got her smoothies, and Bob's got his job. They don't know my age,
Heck, they don't even know my Birthday. Next." she returns boredly, acting like she didn't care. But she does.
"You're Sister." again, another automatic responce from me.
"She's more interested in getting me to be a little version of herself. As long as I stay quiet and she get's her
way, she couldn't care less. Next." she says cooly, her tone flat. Why is she trying to prove to me she doesn't feel?
"Phoebe." I try. Her best friend, she couldn't argue with that.
"Only likes me for protection. She's to shy to stand up to me, that's the only reason we're friends." Okay,
maybe she could. But what about me?! Come on Arnold, tell her!
"What about--"
"Look, Arnold." she cut in, her face now dry and emotionless, "I appriciate what you're trying to do, really.
But truth is truth, nobody..." she struggled for a second, but maintained an uncaring deminor, "...loves me.
It's really okay, I've had lots of time to get used to it. Just let me worry about myself, okay?" She let
go of me and got up off the bed. It actually...caused pain, not to have her there anymore.
"But what if someone does love you?" I say, standing up, ready to bring her close again, "What would
you do then?" she crosses her arms and shakes her head again,
"If anyone could, I'd like to meet them." and with that, she turns away, and climbs back onto the roof,
leaving me alone. I sunk down into the bed, lying my head down on the pillow. The same pillow she had used
hours before. I don't know what to do. How do I make her see? She doesn't have to put up an act with me.
I don't care if she's not tough and strong. I don't care if she can't put up a fight with everyone. I don't care
if she has to cry, just as long as it's still her. I look back on this night, and I suddenly find myself recieting
the lines of the poem she had written, at the begining of this,
"I weep by a fountain of blood and tears..." I say to the silence, "I breathe in the world of shattered
dreams. My tears are my soul, pushed back for so long. Let it out...Let it out."
I stare at the sky. Why can she only make people see herself on a piece of paper? Doesn't she know that
if she was just herself, people would see what I see in her?...No, maybe she doesn't. Maybe the poem's
are the only way she has. But why the mean act? Well, that's simple. She doesn't want to make herself look
vulnerable. To think she's spent all this time building up this wall around herself from the rest of the world. And
I've probably been one of the only people to ever get past it. I actually saw her cry. I don't think I can find
ANYONE who's actually seen her cry. But now's she's distanced herself again. Up on the roof, by herself.
What if she's cold? What if she's crying again? What if she needs someone to be there with her?! This is too
much. All because she doesn't want people to see how fragile she really is. She thinks that if she's cruel and
unkind, no one'll try and get close to her, and no one'll know what she's truly thinking, then nobody
will know all the damage they've done. So, when she's mean, it's just a way to keep people out of her life!
It's because of all these secrets she keeps to herself that are hurting her so much!
I shot up with a start.
Did I just get it?
Did I just find Helga's reason?
I went through my resoning again. Yes, it makes sence! I finally know! All she need's is a person to make
her feel loved, but at the same time she's pushing everyone away because she thinks no one can love her!
But...I love her.
I get off the bed and begin climbling up to the roof. I don't care what she thinks of me. She need's me. I need
her. And I understand her now. When I reach the roof, I see her immediatly. She's stading in the exact place
that we...kissed. I could almost slap myself now for pulling away from her. She looks at me as I shut the part
of the glass ceiling.
"Arnold?" she asks, unbielieving, like she think's I'll dissapear at any moment. My stomach does a backflip.
Okay, I've gotten this far, now it's all up to my bravery reserves. I run up to her quickly, and she looks at me
quizically. I must've gone up to roof to fast, because I'm breathing heavily. I wrap my arms around her waist,
while still trying to catch my breath,
"...Me." I tell her, and she looks even more confused. I can't help but smile. She's adorable when she's confused.
"Arnold, what do you--" I don't let her finish. I kiss her. The energy I felt that once made me want to back
away, now makes me want to stay there forever. She's warm, which offsets the cold night perfectly, and the
calm, yet exciting feeling washes over me again. And she has her arms around me, too. She's kissing me back.
For the first time in my life, I forget about everything else in the world.
And it's just me and Helga, here.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
HE'S KISSING ME!!! I can't breathe, I can't move. All I can do is kiss him back. I could never imagine
anyhthing like this, in all my dreams. Arnold, the heavenly, virtuous Arnold. I didn't kiss him, he kissed me.
It feels like I'm flying. I never want to come down. Finally, we gradually pulled away, breathing hard,
"Me..." Arnold repeats breathlessly, "...I love you."
I feel my eyes widen and my mouth drop open. Did he just say...
"Y-you..." I stammar. He chuckles,
"...Love you." he finishes with a sheepish smile spread across his face.
"And..." I say uncertainly. I can tell him, I can at last let him know!
"A-and?" he asks, a look of nevousness crossing him.
I smile brightly and giggle, reeling with radient thoughts of my wish that just came true,
"...And, I love you too!" I exclaim. Like it's some, freeing confession. That's because it is!
His flawless green eyes radiate the love I've been hoping from him for so long, and I throw my arms
around him quickly. I sighed peacefully, to caught up in us to care about anything else. He led me
back down to his room, where I lay back down on his bed, closing my eyes in supreme adore,
"I never thought tonight would go this way." I confess to him. I can feel him smile down at me,
"Neither did I." he admits. I feel his hand brush my cheek,
"No more hiding from people?" He says. It was more of a statement then a question.
"Arnold..." I begin warningly
he laughs, "Fine, at least from me, then."
I smile, suddenly very sleeply, "No, not from you." I say to him, curling myself into a blissful ball.
After a while, I realize he's still looking at me, and I grin softly, "Get a kick outta watching me fall asleep,
Footballhead?" I tease playfully, "Go, you need sleep too."
He gets up, still laughing, and turns off the light, going back to the couch,
"Sweet Dreams, Helga." he calls to me. But I'm already half asleep, and too tired to answer him back.
But Dreams? Who needs Dreams? I've got mine in the real world.
Arnold.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
..........
I open my eyes and wince at the bright light that pours into my room. It's Saturday morning. I hoist myself up
from the couch and rub my eyes, yawning as well. Couch? What am I doing on the couch? I hear a
gentel hum come from my bed and I look over to see what the cause of it is.
Helga?!
Last night suddenly came rushing back to my mind, filling my head with it's memories.
Helga!
I smiled and crept up to where she slept, hoping not to wake her. Her angelic look that I'd found the first
time while wathching her sleep is still notable. And with the sun shining down on her, refracting off her hair,
it gave her almost an ethreal glow. I placed a slow, light kiss on her cheek. I had to, it was too irresistable.
She woke up slowly, stretching her arms out and taking a deep breath,
"Arnold..." she breathes out contentedly,
"Yes?" I answer.
Her eyes flutter open and look at me with shock, "Arnold!" she gasps
I grin, "Who did you expect?"
Her eyes search the room, glazed over in panic. Then, she remember's last night's events, and holds
her hand to her heart, looking back at me,
"I thought I'd gone insane for a second there."
Huh, that's strange. Why would she say my name in her sleep if she didn't remember what happened last
night? Oh well, doesn't matter.
We went downstairs and ate breakfast. We didn't need to change, because we were both still in my clothes that
we had first changed into. It was only about 8:50 in the morning, but grandma was up, cooking and
frying things up with a coat of armour on. Today she was Joan of Arc. Helga smiled and asked her how the
Revolution was going. I just laughed. When Grandpa came down and saw me and Helga talking, he
got that funny gleam in his eye again and repeated 'I'm such a wily old coot' to himself a few times.
When Ernie and Mr. Hyunh showed up, they just took a long look at us, then winked at eachother.
We both blushed. Is it that obvious? After we were done, Grandma gave Helga her clothes. She changed
back into them, but left her hair down and the bow out of it. I walked Helga home then. I didn't actually
want her to go, but we both knew she'd have to go home sometime. As we're walking, I silently take
her hand, tracing the graceful, slender fingers as I had done before. She looks at me and giggles cheerfully,
not even metioning it, and her talking continues. It was almost disapointing when we reached her house.
Who am I kidding, it IS disapointing. We climb up the steps together and she looks at me,
"So..." she says shyly,
"So..." I say dreamily.
We stand there, not knowing what to do from here. Suddenly, Helga get a mischivious look in her eyes.
I smile unknowingly. What's she up to?
She smiled gleefully, and before I knew it, she was kissing me. My eyes widen, but quickly shut, my
brain informing my weakening knees to stay up and let me enjoy this moment. She pulls away happily,
leaving my scences in a whirl,
"Love ya', Arnold!" she says impishly, opening the already-unlocked door and closing it slowly.
I stumble down the steps, and look back to her house,
"Love you too, Helga." I say.
I walked back home in my own dream. It was still pretty early, and none of the gang was out yet.
If they had been, they would have come across a slightly dizzy-looking me. Head in the clouds,
lovestruck grin on my face. I somehow found my way back home and floated up the steps to my
room. When I got there, I absent-mindedly began to fold the clothes she had worn, when I felt
something in one of the jean pockets. I reach inside, curious as to what she would've put in there.
I look in my hand, and had to sit down quickly from surpurise.
I held there her hair ties, her Pink Bow...and a heart-shaped locket, the locket that I had mysteriously
found and Grandpa had mysteriously lost, with my picture it it. I looked into space and started laughing,
because I knew. Helga had intentionally left these things here. She meant for me to find them. She meant
for me to know.
She had loved me before I loved her.
And she KNEW I was going to rush right over to her
house again to ask her about it. Maybe that was the whole point why she'd kept it there.
...so I stepped back out of the house, making my way to Helga's once again, the locket in my hand. As
I did, I look up at the clear blue sky. You would've never known there was a storm last night from what a relaxing,
sunny morning it was now. I smile to myself as I take another look at her locket. Another one of her
secrets uncovered. But is it the last? I don't know, and I don't want to know, yet.
My smile widens, and I start running, saying a joyful 'Hello' to everyone I pass. I was in a mood that only
the girl you love can put you in. I was in a mood that people got in when they were getting closer to
solving the most important puzzle in thier lives. The one that matters most to them.
Maybe I don't fully understand Helga yet...but I'm sure going to have fun doing it!
~*~THE END!!!~*~
YES!!!! I AM FINISHED!!!! :::Bows::: Whew, that was tiring. See how long this is? See why it took me
so long to update? I'm a bit unsure of this ending, actually. Did I do anything wrong? I've got a lot of
other stories in my head, so don't condem me if you didn't like the way this one turned out. Yup guys,
I'm gonna ask you to REVIEW (Pretty Please?) But I also wanna get down on my hands and knees and
send out a big THANK YOU to everyone out there who's reviewed this story, and even sent me e-mail about it!
all the way back to the time when we all thought this thing would be two chapter's long! So look for my
new stories! There'll definitly be one coming called, "Dance with Me" (hehehe...I'm not hinting to the plot!)
And I hoped you liked my first Multi-parter!
Till soon (And don't think it won't be SOON, you can't get rid of me!)
Wishin' u,
Luv
Life
Luck
n' Lafta'
~*~C.D~*~
long, guys. My homeworks building up on me again :::Pouts::: Anyways, here goes, the last
chapter (and I hope you don't hate it) Of Understanding Helga...
Disclaimer- If I own Hey Arnold, then I've also gotta dance club hiding under my bed.
~*~Understanding Helga~*~
Chapter Six- Understanding Helga
I bury my face into my hands, hoping that he would leave me alone. Please, just make him go away. Without
warning, he sits down on the bed and puts his arms around me. I'm so dizzied by his presence that I feel like
I'm falling. I snap myself out of it. Yeah, Helga, this would be impressive IF he liked you. But I don't want to
move. I won't move. I don't care if he doesn't feel anything for me. I still love him, and I'm going to drain
every last drop of closness from this moment that I can. I rest my head on his shoulder and he smooths down
my hair. I want to look up at him, but the meer sight of his innocent face brings me to tears,
"Helga..." he whispers into my ear tenderly, like he would do for anyone, "What happened? What's wrong?"
I have to stop crying, he doesn't want to see this, this has to be uncomfortable for him. Besides, I'm Helga G.
Pataki! Crying is beneeth me! What's wrong with me?!
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." I sob into his neck, I can feel my tears falling from me onto him. Please let him forgive
me, I didn't mean to cause all this trouble for him...What am I on about? Helga LIVES to cause trouble
for Arnold. Oh, come on Helga! Suck it up, you braindead Brat!
"Shhh...you have nothing to be sorry for. Please, Helga, tell me, what's the matter?" he comforts, hugging my
tighter until I finally put my arms around his neck and hug him back. If only this didn't feel so good.
I let out a ragged sigh and spoke,
"Arnold...please, just... I don't want you to see me..." I break into tears again and pull myself closer to him.
"Helga, it's okay to cry...But Helga, I need to know why." I kept on crying, tears flooding down my red-hot
cheeks. My temples pound like a drum and my heart aches like never before, But I stay quiet.
There's something going on in my head. Some sort of power control fight. It's hard to explain. On one
hand, I wanna kill this stupid Footballhead for getting so cozy with me and watching me blubber like an
idiot, but on the other, I want to pull him close and kiss him like I should've up on roof. But which side is winning?
Arnold lets go of me with one arm. He puts his free hand under my chin and tilts my head up to meet his gaze.
I look away and become instantly facinated with a wall. Oh, I hate him! Why should I have to avert my eyes?
"Helga, look at me." he urges. And, stupid me, I do as he says. He's faint and blurred through my watery gaze,
but I can still sence his genuine concern. Naturally, this is Arnold, he's concerned about anyone and anything
that crosses his path. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't he have let me deal with my sham of a life
on my own instead of bringing me here to have a breakdown in his room in the middle of the night?
"You should have let me stay where I was." I sob to him hoarsly, voicing my thoughts. He had begun
to take a on a semi-recognisible shape to my eyes, and I watched his reaction. He looked at me strangly, and
brushed some of the hair that had fallen into my face away, tucking it behind my ear carefully,
"You know I couldn't do that, why would I?" he says to me. He was perfectly visable by now, still in his
normal clothes. I realised I was, too. He continues,
"Helga, you're my friend, you know that I'll always help you."
I looked at him solomly, thinking of how I felt right now, and who had made me feel that way. Him.
"Maybe you weren't helping." I say, pulling away from him, though I regreted doing so so much that it actually
caused pain. I know I can't really blame this on him. He doesn't know what's going on. He's just being
himself. He moves closer and pulls me back into his arms. I dig my feet into the carpet, to make sure I'm
not floating... stop it Helga! You mean nothing to him, remember?! He looks down at me,
"Why wasn't I? Helga, tell me." he whispers to me, sending shivers up and down my spine. I pick myself
up a little so that I was at his eye level. The sudden craving to tell him everything was becoming overwhelming,
and I prepared myself to tell him all he could hear,
"You've never felt what it's like to be alone." a lone tear slides down my cheek, and I brush it away scornfully,
"To be unnoticed by the people who should care about you most." I explain to him, and he looked down on me
warmly, though slightly sad,
"Helga, you're not alone--"
"Yes I am." I mumble to him. I hug him as tightly as I dare. AM I CRAZY!? Let go of him! Let go of him NOW!
"I must've done horrible things, Arnold, because it always comes back to me. That's why I'm so...I'm so..." my
voice breaks and I let out a whimper. God, what am I? A lost dog? SHUT UP HELGA! YOU SOUND
PATHEDIC! I try to scowl at him, glare at him, SOMETHING! But...nothing comes out. I guess that
answers my question on which side of my mind is winning.
"What, Helga?" He asks, looking into my eyes.
"So..." I breathe, and search my mind for what I thought of myself.
Finally, I find the right word,
"Worthless." I say.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I almost choke when I hear her say that and look at her closly. No, she's not telling the truth!
She is.
But, it isn't true! "No Helga, you're not," I tell her. Her eyes are still watery, and I have the urge to get rid of her
tears. I want to destroy anything that makes her sad. I just want to see her smile. She's hugging me closly, and
I suppose it should be painful, but I wouldn't trade this in for anything. I don't know what's going on. I should be
acting like her brother, her friend, in time like this. But for some reason, I can't seem to get over the fact of how...
amazing she is...I don't know. It's just that she's looking at me with so much saddness,
and all I want to do is find a way to assure her that everything will be alright,
"I must be," she replies. I try to get closer to her, but find that's not really possible, we're already as close as we can be.
"Helga," I whisper to her, "Look at yourself. You're talented, you're smart, you alway's there when people need you,
and, when you're not doing whatever 'mean' act you put up to the world, you're one of the most likeable people
I've ever met." I tilt my head in uncomphension, "How can you call yourself worthless?" She was silent.
That was supposed to make her feel better, and it was all true, every word. Except I had left out how
beautiful she is. I didn't want to say that, because I
still remember what happened when I did a few hours ago. I ran my fingers through her hair, feeling the texture
and watching the dim light play off its shine. So soft, there was no way this could be real. I remember that
she smelt wonderful on the roof, the scent was stronger now I was going through the mind-wracking task of
trying to figure out what it was. Vanilla maybe? No, it was sweeter. This is almost like being in a dream. I
feel...lightheaded, and it's not because of any soap or perfume of hers... What is this?! I've been trying to think
of the way I feel for so long, but I can't come up with anything! The strange jumps in my chest, the way I always
want to be close to her, the way my palms are sweating right now, the way I feel strangly calm...whole,
when I'm close to her. The way I love everything about Helga!
Hang on a minute...There's a simpler way of saying that, I'm sure there is...
Let's see...The way I love everything about Helga...
"Do you mean that, Arnold?"
I love Everything about HELGA?!
"Arnold?"
I LOVE HELGA?!?!
"ARNOLD?!" Helga's voice shouts to me, and I bolt back into the real world,
"Huh?" I mumble, looking at her. No, it isn't true. I don't LOVE her...do I? What does Love feel like?
I mean this kind of Love...Wait, why do I even care?! Maybe it's too late at night, I'm not thinking
rationally. How could I LOVE Helga G. Pataki?! Just because she's the most...
Snap OUT OF IT Arnold!
"Do you mean it?" she asks me again. Do I mean it? I don't know, this is different then what I felt for Ruth,
Summer, even Lila. I look at her, and I'm once again hit with the force of her electric eyes, peering at me from
underneeth her long, sweeping eyelashes. Her face is hidden under her thick gold curls. She smiled at me, and
I can swear she's blushing. Do I mean it?
"Yes, I do." I reply astonishedly. She thinks I'm talking about what I said about her before. But I'm not. She
rests her head on my shoulder again, and I get that dizzy, soaring feeling again, only now, I know why. Am I
going insane? No, I've just...fallen in Love with Helga. If Gerald were here right now, he'd tell me it's the same
thing. At least, I think it's Love. I don't have anything to compare it to. But I know it's strong, and it makes
you feel weak. And I don't think I've ever been as happy as I am right now. Yes, I do love her. And if I don't
love her, then I like her more then...anything else I can think of right now. But I would be even happier If she
wasn't still close to tears. I mentally kicked myself for not telling her what I thought of her before this happened.
Wait, I just remembered it! What I was trying to tell her before she fell asleep! I know what I was going to say!
"I think I love you." I whisper silently to myself. Helga looked up at me innocently and I broke into a sweat.
Had she heard me?
"What did you say, Arnold?" she asked curiously. I held my breath,
"You didn't hear me?"
She shook her head, and I was finally able to exhale. I'm glad she didn't hear, because I don't want her to know.
I mean, come on, this is Helga. Up until tonight, we were a hair away from being enemies. How can I tell her
that I love her now? She'd probably laugh in my face! Okay, maybe not, she's too nice for that, but she would
still turn me down. And I'm not sure if I could take that.
"Well, c'mon, what did you say?" She repeated, "I want to know."
Oh no, I have to think of a way to get out of this! Red Alert!
"No!" I say nervously, then compose myself. "I'd...I'd rather talk about you." I answer truthfully.
She bit her lip and frowned. Great, she's sad again. Arnold, can't you get anything right?!
"What's there to say?" she asked me, laughing sadly, "I'm ignored and looked over. No one see's me for who
I am, they just want to see the bully. So that's who I give them, because It's so much easier for them to
hate someone they don't know, isn't it?" she let out a faint sigh and I looked into her eyes, shining with tears.
Who did this to her? I'll make them pay for hurting her like this!
"Helga, no one hates you." I tell her
she scoffs quietly, "That's a lie, and you know it."
"No it--"
"It's this one huge act I have to put on everyday, and I just can't anymore!" she continued, inturpting me,
"Everyday, I always have to be the girl everyone wants to see. Criminey, I'm a trained preformer! And it's
just..it's just...." She blinked to keep her renewed tears from spilling. It didn't work, they flooded
her face anyways. I kept my arms around her tigthly as she sagged against me.
"It's my own fault that nobody loves me." she murmured to me. I invoulentarily gasp, forcing her to look at me.
"Don't say that!" I scold her, releasing one of my hands and wiping away her tears.
"It's TRUE." she persists miserably. I force my mouth into a determined line, even though I'm terrified by the fact
that this blameless girl--The girl I love-- thinks it's her fault that people hurt her,
"Helga, I never want you to say that again." I command her patiently, "I never want you to even think that
again. People DO love you, Helga. And you don't have to act the way anyone wants you to be. You're
not them, you don't have to make them happy. No one's asked you to preform for whatever....jerks that
expect you to be however they think you should act!" I finish with a glare to the sky, for whoever was
making Helga think this way. She sat there, wide-eyed from my outburst, and shakes her head wearily.
"Name one." she says finally, and I look at her questioningly,
"Name one what?" I ask,
"You said there are people who love me. Well, name one." and she looks at me, waiting for an answer.
Me! I love you! If she only knew! But how can I tell her? I want to, but there's this part of my mind that
KNOWS I'd just be setting myself up for Rejection.
"Your Parents." I answer automaticly, probably not the greatest example, and we both knew it.
"If they do they don't show it. Mirium's got her smoothies, and Bob's got his job. They don't know my age,
Heck, they don't even know my Birthday. Next." she returns boredly, acting like she didn't care. But she does.
"You're Sister." again, another automatic responce from me.
"She's more interested in getting me to be a little version of herself. As long as I stay quiet and she get's her
way, she couldn't care less. Next." she says cooly, her tone flat. Why is she trying to prove to me she doesn't feel?
"Phoebe." I try. Her best friend, she couldn't argue with that.
"Only likes me for protection. She's to shy to stand up to me, that's the only reason we're friends." Okay,
maybe she could. But what about me?! Come on Arnold, tell her!
"What about--"
"Look, Arnold." she cut in, her face now dry and emotionless, "I appriciate what you're trying to do, really.
But truth is truth, nobody..." she struggled for a second, but maintained an uncaring deminor, "...loves me.
It's really okay, I've had lots of time to get used to it. Just let me worry about myself, okay?" She let
go of me and got up off the bed. It actually...caused pain, not to have her there anymore.
"But what if someone does love you?" I say, standing up, ready to bring her close again, "What would
you do then?" she crosses her arms and shakes her head again,
"If anyone could, I'd like to meet them." and with that, she turns away, and climbs back onto the roof,
leaving me alone. I sunk down into the bed, lying my head down on the pillow. The same pillow she had used
hours before. I don't know what to do. How do I make her see? She doesn't have to put up an act with me.
I don't care if she's not tough and strong. I don't care if she can't put up a fight with everyone. I don't care
if she has to cry, just as long as it's still her. I look back on this night, and I suddenly find myself recieting
the lines of the poem she had written, at the begining of this,
"I weep by a fountain of blood and tears..." I say to the silence, "I breathe in the world of shattered
dreams. My tears are my soul, pushed back for so long. Let it out...Let it out."
I stare at the sky. Why can she only make people see herself on a piece of paper? Doesn't she know that
if she was just herself, people would see what I see in her?...No, maybe she doesn't. Maybe the poem's
are the only way she has. But why the mean act? Well, that's simple. She doesn't want to make herself look
vulnerable. To think she's spent all this time building up this wall around herself from the rest of the world. And
I've probably been one of the only people to ever get past it. I actually saw her cry. I don't think I can find
ANYONE who's actually seen her cry. But now's she's distanced herself again. Up on the roof, by herself.
What if she's cold? What if she's crying again? What if she needs someone to be there with her?! This is too
much. All because she doesn't want people to see how fragile she really is. She thinks that if she's cruel and
unkind, no one'll try and get close to her, and no one'll know what she's truly thinking, then nobody
will know all the damage they've done. So, when she's mean, it's just a way to keep people out of her life!
It's because of all these secrets she keeps to herself that are hurting her so much!
I shot up with a start.
Did I just get it?
Did I just find Helga's reason?
I went through my resoning again. Yes, it makes sence! I finally know! All she need's is a person to make
her feel loved, but at the same time she's pushing everyone away because she thinks no one can love her!
But...I love her.
I get off the bed and begin climbling up to the roof. I don't care what she thinks of me. She need's me. I need
her. And I understand her now. When I reach the roof, I see her immediatly. She's stading in the exact place
that we...kissed. I could almost slap myself now for pulling away from her. She looks at me as I shut the part
of the glass ceiling.
"Arnold?" she asks, unbielieving, like she think's I'll dissapear at any moment. My stomach does a backflip.
Okay, I've gotten this far, now it's all up to my bravery reserves. I run up to her quickly, and she looks at me
quizically. I must've gone up to roof to fast, because I'm breathing heavily. I wrap my arms around her waist,
while still trying to catch my breath,
"...Me." I tell her, and she looks even more confused. I can't help but smile. She's adorable when she's confused.
"Arnold, what do you--" I don't let her finish. I kiss her. The energy I felt that once made me want to back
away, now makes me want to stay there forever. She's warm, which offsets the cold night perfectly, and the
calm, yet exciting feeling washes over me again. And she has her arms around me, too. She's kissing me back.
For the first time in my life, I forget about everything else in the world.
And it's just me and Helga, here.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
HE'S KISSING ME!!! I can't breathe, I can't move. All I can do is kiss him back. I could never imagine
anyhthing like this, in all my dreams. Arnold, the heavenly, virtuous Arnold. I didn't kiss him, he kissed me.
It feels like I'm flying. I never want to come down. Finally, we gradually pulled away, breathing hard,
"Me..." Arnold repeats breathlessly, "...I love you."
I feel my eyes widen and my mouth drop open. Did he just say...
"Y-you..." I stammar. He chuckles,
"...Love you." he finishes with a sheepish smile spread across his face.
"And..." I say uncertainly. I can tell him, I can at last let him know!
"A-and?" he asks, a look of nevousness crossing him.
I smile brightly and giggle, reeling with radient thoughts of my wish that just came true,
"...And, I love you too!" I exclaim. Like it's some, freeing confession. That's because it is!
His flawless green eyes radiate the love I've been hoping from him for so long, and I throw my arms
around him quickly. I sighed peacefully, to caught up in us to care about anything else. He led me
back down to his room, where I lay back down on his bed, closing my eyes in supreme adore,
"I never thought tonight would go this way." I confess to him. I can feel him smile down at me,
"Neither did I." he admits. I feel his hand brush my cheek,
"No more hiding from people?" He says. It was more of a statement then a question.
"Arnold..." I begin warningly
he laughs, "Fine, at least from me, then."
I smile, suddenly very sleeply, "No, not from you." I say to him, curling myself into a blissful ball.
After a while, I realize he's still looking at me, and I grin softly, "Get a kick outta watching me fall asleep,
Footballhead?" I tease playfully, "Go, you need sleep too."
He gets up, still laughing, and turns off the light, going back to the couch,
"Sweet Dreams, Helga." he calls to me. But I'm already half asleep, and too tired to answer him back.
But Dreams? Who needs Dreams? I've got mine in the real world.
Arnold.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
..........
I open my eyes and wince at the bright light that pours into my room. It's Saturday morning. I hoist myself up
from the couch and rub my eyes, yawning as well. Couch? What am I doing on the couch? I hear a
gentel hum come from my bed and I look over to see what the cause of it is.
Helga?!
Last night suddenly came rushing back to my mind, filling my head with it's memories.
Helga!
I smiled and crept up to where she slept, hoping not to wake her. Her angelic look that I'd found the first
time while wathching her sleep is still notable. And with the sun shining down on her, refracting off her hair,
it gave her almost an ethreal glow. I placed a slow, light kiss on her cheek. I had to, it was too irresistable.
She woke up slowly, stretching her arms out and taking a deep breath,
"Arnold..." she breathes out contentedly,
"Yes?" I answer.
Her eyes flutter open and look at me with shock, "Arnold!" she gasps
I grin, "Who did you expect?"
Her eyes search the room, glazed over in panic. Then, she remember's last night's events, and holds
her hand to her heart, looking back at me,
"I thought I'd gone insane for a second there."
Huh, that's strange. Why would she say my name in her sleep if she didn't remember what happened last
night? Oh well, doesn't matter.
We went downstairs and ate breakfast. We didn't need to change, because we were both still in my clothes that
we had first changed into. It was only about 8:50 in the morning, but grandma was up, cooking and
frying things up with a coat of armour on. Today she was Joan of Arc. Helga smiled and asked her how the
Revolution was going. I just laughed. When Grandpa came down and saw me and Helga talking, he
got that funny gleam in his eye again and repeated 'I'm such a wily old coot' to himself a few times.
When Ernie and Mr. Hyunh showed up, they just took a long look at us, then winked at eachother.
We both blushed. Is it that obvious? After we were done, Grandma gave Helga her clothes. She changed
back into them, but left her hair down and the bow out of it. I walked Helga home then. I didn't actually
want her to go, but we both knew she'd have to go home sometime. As we're walking, I silently take
her hand, tracing the graceful, slender fingers as I had done before. She looks at me and giggles cheerfully,
not even metioning it, and her talking continues. It was almost disapointing when we reached her house.
Who am I kidding, it IS disapointing. We climb up the steps together and she looks at me,
"So..." she says shyly,
"So..." I say dreamily.
We stand there, not knowing what to do from here. Suddenly, Helga get a mischivious look in her eyes.
I smile unknowingly. What's she up to?
She smiled gleefully, and before I knew it, she was kissing me. My eyes widen, but quickly shut, my
brain informing my weakening knees to stay up and let me enjoy this moment. She pulls away happily,
leaving my scences in a whirl,
"Love ya', Arnold!" she says impishly, opening the already-unlocked door and closing it slowly.
I stumble down the steps, and look back to her house,
"Love you too, Helga." I say.
I walked back home in my own dream. It was still pretty early, and none of the gang was out yet.
If they had been, they would have come across a slightly dizzy-looking me. Head in the clouds,
lovestruck grin on my face. I somehow found my way back home and floated up the steps to my
room. When I got there, I absent-mindedly began to fold the clothes she had worn, when I felt
something in one of the jean pockets. I reach inside, curious as to what she would've put in there.
I look in my hand, and had to sit down quickly from surpurise.
I held there her hair ties, her Pink Bow...and a heart-shaped locket, the locket that I had mysteriously
found and Grandpa had mysteriously lost, with my picture it it. I looked into space and started laughing,
because I knew. Helga had intentionally left these things here. She meant for me to find them. She meant
for me to know.
She had loved me before I loved her.
And she KNEW I was going to rush right over to her
house again to ask her about it. Maybe that was the whole point why she'd kept it there.
...so I stepped back out of the house, making my way to Helga's once again, the locket in my hand. As
I did, I look up at the clear blue sky. You would've never known there was a storm last night from what a relaxing,
sunny morning it was now. I smile to myself as I take another look at her locket. Another one of her
secrets uncovered. But is it the last? I don't know, and I don't want to know, yet.
My smile widens, and I start running, saying a joyful 'Hello' to everyone I pass. I was in a mood that only
the girl you love can put you in. I was in a mood that people got in when they were getting closer to
solving the most important puzzle in thier lives. The one that matters most to them.
Maybe I don't fully understand Helga yet...but I'm sure going to have fun doing it!
~*~THE END!!!~*~
YES!!!! I AM FINISHED!!!! :::Bows::: Whew, that was tiring. See how long this is? See why it took me
so long to update? I'm a bit unsure of this ending, actually. Did I do anything wrong? I've got a lot of
other stories in my head, so don't condem me if you didn't like the way this one turned out. Yup guys,
I'm gonna ask you to REVIEW (Pretty Please?) But I also wanna get down on my hands and knees and
send out a big THANK YOU to everyone out there who's reviewed this story, and even sent me e-mail about it!
all the way back to the time when we all thought this thing would be two chapter's long! So look for my
new stories! There'll definitly be one coming called, "Dance with Me" (hehehe...I'm not hinting to the plot!)
And I hoped you liked my first Multi-parter!
Till soon (And don't think it won't be SOON, you can't get rid of me!)
Wishin' u,
Luv
Life
Luck
n' Lafta'
~*~C.D~*~
