Chapter 15 ~ Mirror to the Soul
Celena opened her eyes, and came out of the sudden sickness that overwhelmed her. She was standing in a big, long room, surrounded by mirrors on either side. The floor was made of a cold impervious stone. She took a careful step, and fell to the floor clasping her ears when it boomed throughout the room. Celena closed her eyes in fear, trying to make herself smaller, so that she wouldn't hear the impact of her footstep. All of a sudden, after the horrible noise ceased, she felt a soft hand on her shoulder. Celena looked up, her blue eyes wavering.
"Don't be afraid, it's just the effect. Step lighter next time." Dilandau told her kneeling down beside her.
"What is this place?" Celena asked as she stood up.
"I think it is called the Hall of Mirrors." Dilandau told her.
"The Hall of Mirrors? What are we supposed to do? I thought they would give me some potion, and then we would separate." Celena observed.
"I think I have to earn my body." Dilandau told her.
Celena looked up at him. His features were younger, lighter. His silver hair was brighter, and she guessed softer than before. His scar was gone, and his reddish eyes had a warm welcoming glow in them. Overall, he looked younger, but his age did not bring back the tormented confused person he was before. He looked so calm, almost like nothing was going to happen.
"What's wrong?" Dilandau asked when he felt Celena's staring gaze upon him.
"Nothing, you look younger." She told him.
Dilandau laughed. Her honesty always threw him off track. Not this time. "So do you. It's part of what Eunice said. I have to give 15 years of my life away, you have to give 15 years away, so that my body can form."
"You're right. What are we doing here? Everything's settled." Celena said.
"I don't know. I really don't know." Dilandau muttered.
"I don't like this place. It gives me the creeps." She confessed.
"Come on, we can do this together. No need to be afraid." Dilandau whispered in her ear. He slowly passed his hand over her shoulder, bringing her closer to him. Celena didn't protest.
Together, they took another step on the floor. This time, it didn't echo in the same booming way.
"Would you look at that!" Celena exclaimed.
"Odd!" Dilandau said taking a look in one of the nearby mirrors.
What he saw didn't please him the least bit.
~~~~
He was back on a floating fortress, the days before the first Destiny War. It was a training room, with a sparring mattress in the middle of the room, and various fighting dummies in the corners. He saw a young boy, of fifteen, violently sparring with another on the mattress. They were both wearing Zaibach uniforms.
"Ha, you're really doing bad today Miguel." A young Dilandau said in a cold voice.
"I'm sorry sir," the boy muttered.
Dilandau spun around, and pinned Miguel to the floor. "You'd be dead right now!" he yelled and hit the boy in his face.
"I'm sorry sir, I'll try better next time." He said.
~~~~
"Dilandau! Dilandau!" Celena's crystal voice brought him back to reality.
"Huh! What! I'm sorry, I was so heartless, you really did good!" Dilandau whispered.
"What? Dilandau, are you all right?" Celena asked.
"What?! Yeah! I'm all right. I think I understand the nature of the test. We have to face our inner demons, and face up to ourselves." He said.
"It all makes sense. The mirrors are portals to our past! We have to find the right exit!" Celena said.
"Yeah, let's go." Dilandau told her unenthusiastically.
"If the only way to get out of here is to face the demons of our past, then we must face the demons of our past." Celena told him.
"I just have one too many demons." Dilandau muttered.
"Listen, we all made mistakes, but if we're not like that now, we can say we're sorry." Celena told him.
Dilandau looked down on her, his red eyes going over all her young features. He looked into her blue and trusting eyes, and he didn't feel like giving up. She had risked her life to get him this far. To offer him a second chance at life, and he was hiding behind curtains of guilt. Was this any way to repay her for the wonderful service she did him? No, he would face them for Celena. He didn't know how to give up. Not so early in the game.
"Let's do this!" Dilandau called out.
Celena only nodded, a smile creeping to her lips. "He did learn something in these past 15 years. How not to give up. I'm proud." She thought.
Dilandau looked into another mirror.
~~~~
This time, they were raiding a village for Zaibach. It was a hot summer day, and the air was moist, and musty. His army had gathered the whole populace in the middle of the village. Most of the children were crying, while the adults and elders were quietly awaiting the disaster.
The young silver haired boy brought out his prized gun, and began to scorch the town. Mutters came from the group of people.
"Burn! Yes, burn!! Burn, burn, BURN!" he yelled in his anger. Watching the hard work of others burn, and crumble to ashes always made him feel better. It made him feel as if he had accomplished something. He had managed to destroy something that would have lasted for years to come. Animals were running all around the place, trying to get away from the fire. He spied a little furry dog slowly making his way through the street.
"Burn!" Dilandau yelled.
He aimed his flamethrower, and he scorched the poor animal.
"Noo! Fluffy!" A little girl yelled from the mound of people. "You murderer! How could you! That was fluffy!" she screamed through tears at Dilandau.
"Are you talking to me?" he asked proudly.
"Yeah, I'm talking to you! I hope the ground swallows you up!" she yelled.
"You'll be there to meet me!" he said through clenched teeth. With a smooth motion of the sword, he slit the little girl's throat. "Burn them all!" he ordered his army.
~~~~
"No! No! NOOOOO!" Dilandau yelled. He looked down on his hands, and they were stained with red blood. "Noo! I didn't want to do it! I didn't… I'm sorry!" he whispered.
"Dilandau! Dilandau! What's wrong?" Celena asked him. (She had not seen anything but her own reflection in the mirror)
"No, no, I… I killed her, and she was so little! So little. And I killed her! I'm a monster! I… I don't deserve to live!" Dilandau crumbled on his knees, staring at the blood pouring from his hands.
Celena wanted to say something. To say that that's not it, but her mouth was locked. She couldn't make a sound, and thus guessed that this was Dilandau's test. However, tears were running down her cheeks. She could feel his internal pain, like it was her own. She could feel his disgust at what he had done, and she could feel his remorse at the past.
"No, why! Why!" Dilandau asked.
"Because you are a monster!" A voice echoed behind him.
Dilandau quickly turned around.
"Who's there?" he yelled.
"Why, don't you remember me? I died for Zaibach! I died for you!" Miguel's voice said. His body began to contour out of a cloud of mist.
"You didn't die for me! I didn't make you die! I avenged your death! Those were Folken's orders!" Dilandau muttered.
"Always blaming others for your failure. Don't you know you should only speak nicely of the dead?" he asked.
"I, I didn't kill you!" Dilandau yelled.
"No, you did not. But all the times you hurt me, and you bossed me around! You don't deserve to live! You should die! You should perish! You're even hurting her! And I thought you didn't want to hurt her!" Miguel yelled, and pointed at Celena, who was staring wide eyed at everything.
"No! Celena! I, I don't want to hurt you!" Dilandau muttered.
"Well, you are hurting me! You've always hurt me, you murderer! How could you? How could you strip me away from my childhood! I hate you! I hate you!" she yelled.
"Celena! I…" Dilandau was speechless. All the accusations were all too true.
"I can't believe I kissed you!" she screamed. "I kissed a monster! That's what you are! A cold hearted, pyromaniac! Monster!" she screamed.
Dilandau was on the floor his red eyes welling up with unshed tears. "I can't believe this, I've even hurt you, and I've tried not to hurt you. I've changed, can't you see that?"
"You've killed so many people! You can't change! Nothing can ever change you! You'll always be a killer! Down to the deepest bone! In your heart of hearts you'll always have the killer instinct. So why do you deserve a body? So you can bring destruction upon Gaea again?" she asked coming up in front of him and kicking him hard.
Dilandau looked up, and his face brightened. That was not Celena. She would never say that. She was the one that wanted to give him a body. She was the one that encouraged him. She believed in him, and ever since he learned emotion, she had not accused him of the crimes of his past. She was the one that said that he could face his demons. This was just another part of his test. Dilandau stood up.
"Show your true face. You're not Celena! Who are you?" he demanded.
"Remember me master?" Zongi asked reverting to his original form that of a doppelganger.
"You!" Dilandau said.
"Yes me, remember how you mercilessly killed me?" Zongi asked.
"I'm sorry."
"No you're not! You're not sorry for any of the things you did in the past. It's all an act! You don't care about anyone, you don't care about life, all you want to do is take it. Like you took mine!" Zongi yelled.
"You're wrong!" Dilandau told him confidently.
"I don't think so!" Zongi said coldly.
Dilandau stared at his hands. They were redder than before.
"You're right. With all the crimes of my past I may not deserve to live, but I think another chance at life, to make things right is necessary. Only by fixing all of my past mistakes will I ever be able to find true peace. I'm sorry for everything I did, but I see now that sorry doesn't cut it. I've killed and wounded so many people, that I've lost count. I want a chance to make it right however. I deserve that much. A blind leap of faith is sometimes necessary!" Dilandau said, shakily. He got up, and stared his demons in the eyes. There was a whole bunch of people. All his victims. All the people that died because of his cruelty. "I wish I could give you your life back, but I can't. However, I shall strive to keep the peace from now on. Can you ever forgive me?" He said, and a few tears spilt down his cheeks.
Then, he slowly walked through the crowd, to the mirror. "I'm sorry little girl, I too wish the ground would swallow me up." He said.
"I forgive you, for all the people you have killed" She said. "You didn't know what you were doing, but I can see that you have changed." The waters of the mirror changed, and in front of Dilandau stood Celena.
"Come this way, your test is done." She said and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the mirror.
Dilandau woke up on a cold table. He brought his hands to his face, and then to his arms. He had a body! He had a body!
"Welcome back to this world, Dilandau Albatou." Eunice told him. "Come this way, we shall give you some clothes." She told him.
"Celena?" Dilandau asked.
Eunice shook her head. "She's still in the hall of mirrors."
"So I was right!"
'Yes, come this way." She showed him a door.
"I would like to come back here. Can I?" Dilandau asked.
"Of course." Eunice said.
"Thank you." Dilandau muttered. "See, it's not so hard to mutter words you've never muttered." He thought. "I hope Celena's ok."
~~~~
Celena watched Dilandau disappear into a mirror. He must have passed his test. She was glad. Now there was the question of her getting out of the place. She spun around, and noticed that the setting of the room had changed. Now, there was only one huge mirror on the ceiling of the room. The rest was stone.
"Get me out of here!" Celena said.
"Not so fast!" a voice came from up above. Then a figure appeared in front of her. Celena recognised it. It was her before she shed 15 years of her life. Dressed in a black robe, the figure looked tried by life. She lad long stringy silver hair.
"What is it?" Celena asked.
"Well, you gave him a body, are you sure it wasn't all just an act?" she asked.
"Yes!" Celena cried out.
"How do you know for sure?" her older self asked.
"Because. He wouldn't have passed if he wouldn't have been honest." Celena said.
"How do you know he passed? Maybe it was entirely your test? Things are very deceiving in the dream realm."
"I know ok?" Celena said stubbornly.
"Right, like all those times you just hid, and said you knew, but you didn't really. You're a coward you know? Tell me how you know!" the older woman demanded.
"Why do you care? Let's just say that when you… know someone, you learn to have faith in them!" Celena spat.
"Tell me, are you sure that you haven't freed the killer? The demon inside him?" the woman asked coming up to her and grabbing her wrists.
"Why wouldn't I be? In fifteen years he never tried to take over my body! He's been so kind and patient, and he's helped me overcome my fears! He's been my moral support, and I don't think he wants to fight anymore. He changed ok!" Celena tried to free herself from her alternate's grip, but she couldn't.
"You're wrong! He'll try to kill you now that you're unconscious!" she hissed.
"Never! I believe that he's changed! I…."
~~~~
Dilandau was watching Celena squirm on the table. Her face looked congested, and overall, she looked like she was in an immense struggle.
"Come on Celena! Wake up! I believe in you!" he said and took her hand in his squeezing it gently.
He looked at her, with that warm gaze. With those eyes he had watched her with for over fifteen years.
"Please wake up, for me." He begged silently. Her face had relaxed, and she was breathing calmly again. He looked at her lips, and thought of how much he'd like to place another kiss on there. Now that he was real, maybe he could tell her. Maybe. "And why not? Not like she would hear me now." He thought.
"Celena, I'm not afraid to tell you anymore. I love you. I've always loved you. For fifteen years I've constantly loved you. Please come back to me. I don't think I can make it in this world without you." He whispered, and placed a soft kiss on her rosy lips.
~~~~
"Get off me you wench! You're not me! I know what I'm feeling! I believe in Dilandau! Let me out of here! I want to see him!" she said and pushed the woman off her.
"You'll pay! No one does this to me! You still haven't proved your case Lady Celena. Maybe it's best you not return to him." The woman charged at her.
"You haven't heard me out! For years now I didn't want to accept it, I thought that maybe if I run, I won't have to deal with it. I'm not afraid anymore. Dilandau is a person, with feelings. He's always been one, and I fell in love with him." Celena said.
Her alternate stopped cold in her tracks.
"Sometimes it takes more courage and faith to believe in a love, and in a person than to give up on them. If it's something I taught Dilandau in fifteen years it's how not to give up. I'll cling on, and even if he's bad – which he is not - and teach him how to cherish life again. I need to get out of here, and you can't stop me!" Celena yelled.
"He doesn't love you. A brute like him doesn't know how to love." Her alternate said poisonously.
"I am aware of that, but if I can be even the smallest part of his life I'm happy. Now let me out of here! I want to go see Dilandau!" Celena yelled louder.
Her alternate faded at the powerful use of words. Behind her, Celena saw Dilandau's figure calling out to her. She happily ran to him, and wordlessly, he guided her out of the Hall of Mirrors.
Celena woke up on a cold table. She felt someone holding her hand, and she looked down, smiling peacefully. What she saw, made her grin even more. There, with his silver head resting on the table sat Dilandau. He had stayed with her all through her ordeal. Celena felt his hand wrapped around hers. She smiled, thinking that he had truly changed. Carefully, she tried to move without awaking him. It was his first time sleeping in his new body. She looked down, and saw that she had indeed youthened by fifteen years.
"Hey, you made it!" Dilandau said raising his head and staring into her eyes with his own.
"Yeah! I did." Celena smiled at him.
"I was so afraid!" he stood up and hugged her tightly.
"It's ok. So, how do you like it? We did it!" she shrieked.
"I'm just happy that you weren't hurt. I was afraid you would never come back to life." Dilandau said hugging her.
"Ooh, I didn't know you cared so much." Celena said with a mischievous smile.
"There's a lot you don't know." He said with an amused tone.
"Really?" Celena said, and made her way to the window to look out at the coming sunrise.
"Yes." Dilandau came behind her and hugged her from the back. He placed a few kisses down her neck. Celena laughed.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Well, what does it look like I'm doing?" he asked.
"I don't know." she smiled, and turned to face him. "What's going on? Is he trying to tell me something?" she wondered.
"Well, how about this. Is this convincing enough?" Dilandau asked and leaned over to kiss her.
Celena closed her eyes, and their lips met for the first time in real life. It wasn't a dream, and she felt the fire of passion in her break free and spread through her whole body. He kissed her hungrily, tracing the curves down her back. Dilandau felt, like many times before the sweetness of Celena's lips. He felt how the honeydew was spreading down the whole of his being, shocking every one of his senses. He had never guessed that a kiss could be so full of electricity, and fire. He felt like the brightest star in all the world. He loved her more than anything, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life by her side. He wanted to rid her of fears such as the booming thunder of the dark. He would make his sweet determined Celena unafraid once again. The sun rose over the grey cliffs, and by a hidden window, in a small room, two beings were finally sharing true loved.
Watching every motion
In my foolish lover's game
On this endless ocean
Finally lovers know no shame
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn around and say
Take my breath away
Take my breath away
Watching I keep waiting
Still anticipating love
Never hesitating
To become the fated ones
Turning and returning
To some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion
As you turn around and say
Take my breath away
Take my breath away
Through the hourglass I saw you
In time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed I called you
And turned to hear you say
If only for today I am unafraid
Take my breath away
Take my breath away
Well, depending on what you want to tell me." Celena told him after the kiss ended.
Dilandau laughed, and hugged her tightly. "I love you." He whispered in her ear.
"I know." she said and looked into his eyes, her own sparkling with delight. "I love you too." She added after a small pause. She placed a soft kiss on his lips.
"You do? I mean you do!" Dilandau breathed.
"Of course I love you stupid!" Celena said lovingly.
"Why would I not?" she asked.
"Well, for all I did, and…" Dilandau was about to add some more, when Celena kissed him, awakening the fire inside him.
"Tonight, we let go of our past. We came to terms with it, and we don't need to cling to it. We're new people. Enjoy that. You are forgiven Dilandau." She told him.
"You're right. No more remorse. Not today." He said and placed more butterfly kisses on her neck.
Celena laughed and stared outside. "What now?" she asked.
"Well, I know from the time when we were one, that you wanted to travel. I want to see the beauty of the world I almost destroyed. So how about we just travel around for a while." He suggested.
She looked at him, with sparkling eyes. "I would love that. We can see from there, but I would love to travel." She told him.
"Me too. But what about your brother. I mean, he would probably kill me if he ever saw me again. I remember our last encounter and do not want to repeat it. And the others, they would not believe I've changed, and you would have to explain why you're younger, and it would be a big mess." Dilandau stated.
"You're right. It would be, but I still want to travel. Allen will just have to accept the fact that I've finally grown up and can take care of myself. I'll just tell him I'm going back to the convent, to live out the rest of my life, as a travelling nun. No one, no matter who they are hurts nuns. He'll let me go, he knows I have no life and status anyhow. Then, we're free to do whatever we want with the years we've been given back." She smiled at him.
"And no one will know about me." Dilandau said.
"Yup, no one but me, and the High Order. We could get false identities and thus no one will ever know of Dilandau Albatou. Your name is still pretty famous, even after almost 23 years. There's countries that will pay to have you as their general and begin a war." She told him.
"No more fighting for me." Dilandau said.
"Well, is it a plan?" Celena asked.
"It's a plan." Dilandau said, and smiled down on his beloved. He wouldn't mind living as someone else. He knew that to her, he would always be Dilandau, and she would always be Celena to him. As long as they were together, he didn't care about many other things. He kissed her once again, now that their plans were made, all they needed was to take action.
For the rest of the day, they just enjoyed the nature, the wild, and their love, forever swearing loyalty to the other. It was clear that one was empty without the other.
