This is a fanfic, 'nuf said.
Give your comments at raiden_x_@hotmail.com
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Shinji's Odd Jobs
Another frigging Eva fanfic by Raiden_X_
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Prologue:
[Shin-chan's lovely suite]
*Groan! *
It was midnight and Shinji was busy sulking in his room.
It has been one of those days, when you don't want to wake up; everything fucks and everybody sucks. He really doesn't know why, but he wanted to justify; i.e. ripping someone's head off. All he could do right now is break human contact in the privacy of his own room.
In his ears, the scolding and the taunts are still fresh.
"Shinji, you're sync rate is very low! You should try harder!"
"Don't you dare take a peek at me, you Baka-hentai!"
"Shinji, you're grades are dropping! I need to see some improvement, you hear!"
"Baka-hentai! Make dinner NOW! It's Misato's turn and I don't want to die yet!"
"Pilot Ikari, you disappoint me…"
That last comment from his father sent his morale at it's all time low.
In times like this, his SDAT can't even soothe his throbbing anguish. His homework wasn't helping any.
Sirens blared suddenly.
"Aaargh! Great! Just great…" He spat out sarcastically. Standing up from his desk, his SDAT fell from his hands accidentally and landed on the floor with a big *Thud!*.
Meters of tape began spilling out and making knots.
Before the master of this dimension left, he slammed his head five more times on a wall in grief. there was a very worn-out grove on that spot.
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[Nerv headquarters]
"The enemy is heading towards Nerv HQ from the northeast region. You are to intercept this target when it arrives at the beach." Misato stated.
"This angel seemed
to have the same properties as the 3rd and the 7th
"Hai!" Asuka was ecstatic.
"Hai." Rei was just being Rei.
"Is
there something wrong, pilot?"
"No
sir..."
"Oh
yeah, I forgot! Since you
"Hai..."
"Serves you right, Baka!" Asuka taunted.
"........"
~~~~~~~~29 minutes later...
[Battlefield]
All three Evangelions laid sprawled at different areas of the battlefield. Unit 02 was thrown over at the sea, butt first. Unit 00 was sent crashing at a beach resort 49 miles away. Unit-01 was being used as a wrecking ball at the tall hotel buildings. Each Eva was being double teamed by a pairs of angels. 20 minutes ago they were on a roll into beating the crap out of this celestial conqueror, until it started making copies of itself.
Only Shinji was making any real progress right now, and he's getting beat up.
Asuka and Rei could still stand and fight, but they couldn't keep their enemies stay still for a few seconds. The pitch black darkness of the night didn't give them a chance at all.
The Third Child's offenders are keeping still, It's Shinji whose being thrown around. All he could afford right now is an occasional punch and jabs here and there because his knife was destroyed earlier.
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[Entry plug, Unit-01]
Shinji managed to run away from his torturers. He's now hiding under a pile of 'Holiday Inn' hotel rubble. the black pair of entities were walking around like monkeys, trying to find their toy.
"..............."
The com-link to the mobile headquarters was malfunctioning within the first few hits.
The internal battery supply alerted that he had only 5 minutes left.
His brain formulated two choices:
1)Wait here and let the life supports fade so that he could avoid being angel food, but 3rd impact would occur.
2)Stand up and die anyway. The others must be doing fine without me, I'm just a nuisance to them..
Either way, he dies.
*Sigh* he opened his bleary eyes once more.
"HMMM..." There was a murmur heard inside the cockpit.
He felt the familiar feeling of dread as Death checks in if he could claim his soul.
Just like that. Over there. The guy with this bad ass scythe floating menacingly before him.
"WHAT THE HELL!!!" The young Ikari screamed as he realized that the shrouded spirit was indeed his fears being solidified.
"..........."
"A...a...are you really Death?!"
"IT'S THE SCYTHE, ISN'T IT? THEY ALWAYS NOTICE THE SCYTHE. THE CURSED THING ALWAYS GIVES IT AWAY..." The dark figure did what appears to be what people call 'sulk'.
"Um... er... So, is it my time to go now?" Shinji has been looking forward to the afterlife ever since he joined Nerv. A chance to be with his mother again was worth all the pain he endured.
"MAYBE."
"E-excuse me?"
"I DON'T KNOW." Death attempted a shrug. Human stuff are very hard to simulate.
"Then, what are you doing here? You went all the way here to scare the shit out of me just for fun?!!!" The Third Child was getting all worked up right now.
"I JUST DROPPED BY TO SEE IF I COULD TAKE YOU NOW. "
"Wait a minute, are you saying that you don't know when I'll die?"
"YES AND NO."
"What do you mean?"
"EVERY MORTAL HAS A PREDESTINED APPOINTMENT, BUT WITH THIS CELESTIAL WAR OCCURRING IN YOUR DIMENSION, YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE'S APPOINTMENTS MIGHT BE PROCESSED EARLIER THAN ANTICIPATED." The shrouded figure held out a bony hand with an hourglass with Shinji's name written on a small plaque.. The sands were having fluctuations in gravity; It was either falling downwards or falling upwards.
"..............."
"HMMM... LOOKS LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TO DIE; THE OTHER PILOTS ARE IN DEEP PERIL..." The scythe wielder checked someone else's hourglass and faded out.
"Hey, wait! Take me instead!" Shinji cried out.
Being left alone again, he sobbed and cried out for his poor luck.
What am I saying? We're all going to die anyway! I could still rid of my pathetic life yet! He laughed hysterically.
Something suddenly snapped in his brain. Time seemed to stop.
But... Asuka, Rei and the others... His expression grew dark again
I-I... I can't let that happen! Pain and grief engulfed him as he clutched his head in agony.
Apparently, an Angel tripped over Unit-01's head.
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[Battlefield]
A pair of black titans stood petrified, staring at the beast that they have awakened with morbid fascination.
Not even the angels could see through the darkness of the night, but they were guided by the aura that each Evangelions emit. Right now, all of their senses focused on a pair of unholy green light that glowed viciously in the dark.
That roar. That blood-curdling howl that would make a tyrannosaurus blush. It echoed to the eclipse on the moon.
The entities that stood far away from the awful cry got alarmed. For even though they are cold blooded beast themselves, they knew fear. And nothing is more scary and horrible as a tormented soul seeking retribution and retaliation.
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[Entry plug, Unit-00]
Unit-00 was sprawled, bleeding LCL on the sand.
"Pilot Ikari?!" Rei managed to say. The familiar howl haunted her ears once more.
More shrieks from different owners were heard. It sounded like a mutant goat's death cry as it was being torn limb from limb, and the truth isn't really that far off.
From her end of the battlefield, the two identical angels left her for dead. A bigger threat to their victory has emerged, and it's presence needs to be eradicated immediately at any cost.
Unconsciousness overwhelmed the First Child as the entry plug got automatically ejected.
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[Entry plug, Unit-02]
Asuka may be all beat up, but defeat is something she disliked to accept. She knew that Rei was already retrieved by Nerv and and she's going to be next. She had to focus her brain to repel the ejection command. All the Second Child wants to do now is to die trying to destroy these cruel Angels, but that simple wish was being left not granted for her assailants have turned their backs to her and proceeded to another prey.
They were ignoring her.
All her troubles brought her nothing, not even an honorable demise.
"Come back here you Idiots!!!" Asuka willed her Eva into stabbing one of them with her broken progressive knife, and failed. But it's purpose to drive back the attention to her succeeded.
Unit-02 was back again on the wet sand in a split second. The angel stood on top of her Eva and was preparing to stab her with it's own spike lance.
"Kom, susser Todd." She says, staring at the pointy end defiantly.
The angel grinned maliciously.
Suddenly, Asuka's death was postponed. Instead, she stared shocked at the horrible scene before her. Her ex-killer died at the hands of a bleeding Unit-01.
The poor being got torn inside-out and let out a blood-curdling screech.
She fainted at the sight of that evil purple grin in front of her.
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[Entry plug, Unit-01]
The Third Child was trying to calm his breathing down. All that running and ripping flesh with his bare hands were taking it's toll on the poor lad.
I... I did it... I killed them all...
The boy lifted his hands and examined them. All he could see is the blood and gore his Evangelion has made.
"A murderer... that's all I am..."
~~~~~~~~The next day...
[Nerv HQ, Commander's office]
"I resign." the boy declared.
"Again, pilot?" Gendo seemed to be irritated.
"Yes..."
"Any particular reason?"
"I can't go on... I don't like to kill anymore."
The commander took off his glasses and and wiped them with the cloth from his pocket.
"Will this be permanent this time? I can't have you waste anymore valuable resources from sending a private train back to your foster home every time you decide to take a 'break' from your occupation.
"... I....I'm staying here in Tokyo-3."
"Hmmm?"
"I only wanted to quit this job. I wouldn't leave my friends yet."
"You do know that your stay in this city and all your expenses are paid by Nerv, am I correct?"
"Er... yeah."
"If you're leaving Nerv, then you will have to provide for yourself alone."
"..........."
Wearing his lens again, the commander initiated his patented 'steepled-hands on face maneuver(TM)'.
"I presume that this resignation request isn't permanent, is it pilot?"
"..........."
"Very well, since you couldn't make up your mind once again, I'm willing to make a deal. You will have two week's time to decide. After two weeks, you may either stay as a pilot of Nerv, or work in another occupation in the city. If you chose to leave Nerv, then the monthly pay for your accommodations in Major Katsuragi's residence will be terminated. You may also decide to stay there if you wish but you will have to provide the money to pay for the bills yourself. Do you understand?"
"......Yes sir." The younger Ikari was overwhelmed by the implied responsibility of living for himself.
"Do you wish to reconsider, like you always do?" His father taunted.
"No sir." The boy willed all his courage to accept his terms defiantly. He won't back down this time around.
"Very well. You are dismissed, pilot."
His son stood up left the dimly lit office.
Gendo was surprised at his offspring's unexpected behavior. Different feelings towards the boy emerged. Disappointment, curiosity and admiration were now focused at Shinji.
Pulling out a cell phone from his drawer, he sighed.
The old men would not like to hear this. I got to handle this carefully.
*Ring!*
*Ring!-*
{Sir?}
"The Third Child would be job hunting soon. See to it that he doesn't get hired."
~~~~~~~~A week passes by...
[Shin-chan's lovely suite]
The young Ikari drew another red line at the classified ads.
He was rejected by every occupation he signed for, even as a garbage man. Asuka keeps laughing at his poor luck. She teases him that he couldn't get a proper job without going to college like she had done. But the major rained on her parade once she mentioned that the she is still a minor also and couldn't receive legitimate occupation unless she would go for prostituting and such shady buisiness..
What the boy noticed during his quest is that the employers seemed nervous around him.
I didn't even tell them that I'm a pilot...
He has to find a job that could at least pay the rent at Misato's. The major disapproved of him leaving Nerv and all, but offered to let him stay in the apartment if he still wanted to resign. Shinji wouldn't hear any of it. The young Ikari wanted to at least find a job so he could stay and share paying the bills. He knew that his guardian's income wouldn't suffice if he freeloaded on her expense; most of her money goes on beer.
Maybe I could live here as a maid... He thought as he inspected his broken SDAT one more time.
Nah... Asuka would make it more of a living hell than it already is with Misato...
I fold... I have to apologize to father for this travesty. he crumpled his newspaper and stuffed it in the trash bin.
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[Misato's apartment, Living room]
The Second Child and the household penguin are watching TV. It was another boring day. The major was in the kitchen, finishing her reports and papers due signing.
*Knock, knock!*
Asuka's eyebrows furrowed.
*Knock, knock!*
Why would anybody knock when they could just ring the damn door bell-
*Knock, knock!*
"Shinji! Get the door!" She hollered.
-and what kind of a freak would be knocking with a chicken bones?
"For once Asuka, would you stop slaving around Shinji and answer the door already?" Misato said irritated from the kitchen.
"Oh, Shut up!" Asuka snapped back. Implied laziness in her part was not taken lightly by Asuka. She doesn't want to be compared with her guardian's lifestyle, but she couldn't call Misato lazy either if she wanted to live longer.
The red haired girl stud up gruffly and answered the door.
"What do want?" she yelled out at the visitor.
"I'M HERE FOR SHINJI IKARI." The tall shrouded figure spoke in gothic booming voice.
Asuka wasn't impressed.
"You dummkopfs! It isn't October, and there isn't any Halloween here in Japan!"
"...................?"
"Shinji! Your other stooges are here!"
"Touji and Kensuke? Send them in, please." The young Ikari called out from his room.
Asuka would have bashed Shinji's head in for ordering her like that, yet he did say please...
"Hey! careful with that thing, you almost sliced my head off!" The German pilot hit the back of Death's head. The huge scythe was laid down carefully to avoid further beatings from the feisty red-head.
Asuka seemed to have noticed that either Touji or Kensuke used a helmet for a head on their costume or the person being carried on top has a very hollow head.
"That's a cute costume you got there guys!" Misato said as she took a peek at what's going on. She noticed also that the scythe looks very real... but then again, maybe she had to much beer today.
If one would look microscopically, tiny air molecules and atoms were being sliced clean whenever the get near on the blade's edge.
After giving a big burp, she threw the can of Yebisu at the trash bin.
The Grimm Reaper floated swiftly towards Shinji's door.
*Knock, knock!*
"It's open." Said the boy from inside.
"HMMM... " doors were one of the things he still haven't fully understood yet. his bony arm seemed to get all jittery every time he hold a knob. Instead he just precipitated through the door like he always do.
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[Shin-chan's lovely suite]
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" The young Ikari yelled out in absolute terror. his face became pale as if he saw a ghost or something of that category.
"GOOD AFTERNOON TO YOU, MORTAL."
"I-It-It's you!" Shinji stuttered.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Asuka was laughing like an idiot from outside.
"The Idiot actually got scared at that crappy costume!" she said out loud. Misato can't help but join in the laughter.
"Wu-wha-what brings you here, sir?"
"I'VE HEARD THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A NEW OCCUPATION... "
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End of Prologue
Next Session 1: Death's new apprentice
Author's Jibah-Jaba:
This a new story I cooked up after reading the Discworld novels by Terry Prattchet,
(Mort, Soul Music, The Hogfather and Reaper man)
I know that I have been procrastinating too much with my other fics, but I got problems that I have to sort out first so please, bear with me.
Please send any comments or suggestions at raiden_x_@hotmail.com
See ya!
