Author's Note: Heh. Boy, is the taint of the Dark One on me now. This is a parody of Jurassic Park, with some minor adjustments to the Wheel of Time. Tell me if you like it. Flames shall be used as my Balefire practice targets.
Aes Sedai Park.
Characters
Dr. Allan Grant – Rand al'Thor
Dr. Ellie Sattler – Elayne Trakand
John Parker Hammond – Cadsuane Sedai
Eon Malcolm – Lan Mandragoran
The lawyerly guy – Galad Damodred
Lex and Timmy – Egwene al'Vere and Nynaeve al'Meara
Park Warden Robert Mulsoon – Moiraine Sedai
Arnold (the computer guy) – Uno
Dennis – Moghedien
The wind howled in the trees as the branches shook lightly, the darkness of night surrounding everything. Numerous lanterns decorated high posts and poles, giving off what little light they had.
Moiraine Damodred Sedai stood watching grimly as the *clank-clank* of the gears grated, slowing lifting the large wooden crate up and forward. Uneasiness filled her mind, but not a hint of it showed outwardly. Keeping her eyes trained on the crate, she watched as it slowly lowered and pressed against an opening in the building beside it.
Eyes shone brightly through the slats of the crate as a high-pitched hiss echoed through the night. The other women surrounding Moiraine took a step back, but she stood firm. She motioned the others to begin.
Six Aes Sedai surrounded the crate, ready and intent, as a seventh Sister carefully climbed on top of it. Reaching down, she hooked her fingers in the crate's cover, and slowly began sliding it open. Halfway done, however, something unexpected occurred.
The woman inside the crate suddenly rammed against the side, causing all the Aes Sedai to lose their sense of concentration. The Sister standing on the crate lost her balance and toppled to the ground. Chaos erupted as the Aes Sedai's shield failed. The captured woman struck out with the One Power, flailing in different directions, sometimes striking its target.
Moiraine acted quickly, leaping forward to grab the fallen Aes Sedai. Flows of Air suddenly grasped the Sister's ankles as she was lifted and pulled to the entrance of the crate. Moiraine grabbed her hand before she could be pulled inside, and managed to gasp out, "Shield her!" The other Aes Sedai tried to cut the woman in the crate from the True Source, but she was desperate.
Managing a better grip on her Sister's hand, Moiraine again shouted, "Shield her!"
"She's to powerful!" Yelled another Blue, striving to shield the deadly woman. Sweat glistened on their faces as they fought for control. Finally the shield was smashed into place and Moiraine quickly pulled her Sister to safety. Light help us…What have we done?
The hot wind blew in the Aiel Waste as Rand al'Thor straightened from where he crouched, knuckling the small of his back and sighing loudly. Rubbing his dragon-clad arms, he glanced around him.
Min, Elayne, and Aviendha all stood hunched over a chunk of rock, gently uncovering a small statue of a robed woman with a staff. They had been digging for days now, finding small angreals in the hard-packed dirt. A group of Maidens sat near them.
Making his way to the three women, Rand watched as Elayne held up the angreal, glinting in the sun. "Look, Rand! Another angreal. This one isn't as powerful as the one we found yesterday, but I think I might be able to use it!" Elayne said excitedly, facing Rand.
A small chuckle ran through the group of Maidens, and Elayne turned to them, bristling. "What's so funny? Sure, it's probably been since the breaking that these were used, but they'll still work. Why, these might've been used by the Forsaken! Or the Black Ajah!" She warned.
"That doesn't sound very scary!" The group of Maidens parted to reveal Olver, a scowl written on his face. "More like a bunch of stupid witches!"
Rand whistled through his teeth as Min whispered, "Oooh! He's done it now!" Aviendha nodded agreement. Elayne's face was perfectly blank. "A bunch of stupid witches, huh?" She began. Rand groaned as she continued.
"Well, Olver…let's just say you're being confronted by one of these 'stupid witches'. She looks like any other woman, but she is not. She walks toward you, slowly, no fear or caution in her walk. And you think she is not close enough to hurt you. And that's when the attack comes. Not physically, no, but in a way you cannot even see. She'll use the True Source to drown you with Water, or strike you with lightning. Or maybe she'll burn you to a smoldering pile of ashes with Fire. See, the point is, Olver, that you cannot even fight back. You are a boy, and you can't channel unless you want to go stark-raving mad. So let's ease up on the 'stupid witches,' alright?"
"O-okay," Stammered Olver, sweating profusely. Elayne smiled sweetly and walked away. Rand followed.
"Light, Elayne, whatcha tryin' to do? Give the boy a heart attack? Do you hate kids or something?"
"I don't hate all kids. Not really." Murmured Elayne.
Before Rand could speak again, goosebumps suddenly sprang on his arms and a chill ran through him. Elayne gasped as she felt saidar being channeled, and a strong wind suddenly buffeted the Waste. Small angreals scattered in the wind's fury.
Rand and Elayne raced down the hill, battered by the wind. "Cover the angreals!" Yelled Elayne as Rand sprinted to the tents, trying to find where the source came from. Pushing open a tent flap, he stared at the back of the woman inside.
"Who in the Light are you?!"
The woman turned to reveal an ageless face and steel gray hair tied in a bun. "Who am I?" She asked. "Why, I'm Cadsuane Sedai, Rand al'Thor! I needed to talk to you."
Elayne burst in, eyes narrowed. "Alright, who's the Light-blinded fool who—eep! Cadsuane Sedai!" She gave a start upon recognizing the woman.
"Hello, Elayne. I've been needing to talk to both of you. I have this island off the coast of Tanchico. Now I'm going to prattle on about all sorts of nonsense! But let's just skip that. Will you come with me to see my island for no apparent reason whatsoever, for let's say…a crap-load of money?"
"Sure!" They chorused, smiling.
Cutscene to a tavern room where Moghedien is sitting at a table with a bored expression. A man walks by, and Moghedien's eyes flashes as she waved him over. "Hey! Asmodean! I'm over here you blasted no-good excuse for a Forsakeeen! ASMOOOODEAN!" Mogedien called, loud enough for the whole inn and down the street to hear. Asmodean grimaced as he joined her.
"I told you not to use that name in public. I'm called Natael here." He growled.
"Hey! Hey!" Yelled Moghedien, jumping on the table, flailing her arms and pointing to 'Natael.' "We got the Forsaken Asmodean here! Asmodean!" People scream their lungs out and in a mass of breaking glass and snapping wood, flee for their lives.
"See? Nobody cares." Moghedien remarked, sitting back down. "What's with the harp? You look like a stupid gleeman!"
"Would you?… Let's just get down to business, alright?" Lifting a small chest, Asmodean presented it to Moghedien. "150 flies, and 100 more when you deliver the male sa'angreals. Remember, they have to be of use to me."
Snatching the chest away from Asmodean, Moghedien cuddled it and smiled. "They don't call me The Spider for nothing! How do I transport them? I need something inconspicuous."
"Here." Asmodean lifted a small cylinder that read in big bold letters: Male sa'angreal holder. (Warning: contents may result in continuous vomiting and voices in your head.) "They'll never even suspect."
Soon the gang was all ready to leave. Rand was surprised to learn that others were also coming along. Galad hawked along Elayne, having heard that Egwene might be there, and Lan also decided to go, having nothing better to do than fight a war he can't win.
"Are we all
ready?" Asked Cadsuane, glancing around. Opening herself to the True Source,
she wove a gateway. Herding them through, she said softly, "Welcome to my
island."
"What's so great about this place? It's just a dingie ol' island!" Whined Rand.
"Oh, you'll see soon enough, Rand al'Thor." Was Cadsuane's reply.
After walking awhile, the group reached a clearing with a huge towering trees, and a wide beautiful river.
"This is boring! When are we gonna see the…" Rand trailed off, mouth hanging open. Reaching over, he grabbed Elayne's head and turned it, shortly followed by a loud gasp. Galad gaped, amazed, and Lan continued his Stone Man impression, blinking to show his surprise. All stood in awe at the sight before them.
A woman in a misty dress strode not fifty paces from them, eyes on the landscape. Approaching a tree, she channeled the One Power. The tree in front of her heaved, splintering and groaning as it bent down far enough for the woman to pick a fruit before straightening.
"T-that's Graendal. What is this place?" Choked Rand.
"This is my island." Said Cadsuane. "Here, Damane's, Forsaken, and Black Ajah are kept, free to roam around at ease, with no fear of enemies. We keep them all in Ter'angreal pens that stop them from channeling. If they touch the fence, they are stilled. My friends! Welcome to Aes Sedai Park!"
"Hey look! There moving in herds!" Remarked Rand, pointing to a group of gray-clad women walking peacefully together.
"How in the Light did you do this, Cadsuan Sedai?" Asked Elayne, awed.
"I'm sorry Elayne. I can't show you. Due to the author's lack of space and time (and laziness), we must skip over that boring part! So let's just mosey on over to the Black Ajah pen, shall we?" Melodied Cadsuane.
"EIIIIIARRRRH!" A high-pitched shriek erupted from the bushes in the Black Ajah kennel. A shining white fence surrounded the area, cutting everyone inside it from the True Source.
"This is where the Black Ajah are kept. Unlike the Damane, they are very dangerous and aggressive." Explained Cadsuane.
The grating of gears suddenly screeched. A rope lifted slowly, hoisting something into the air. "What are they doing?" Asked Galad, looking at himself in the mirror.
"Feeding them." Was Cadsuane's short reply.
The Black Ajah's 'supper' rose into view, and Padan Fain writhed violently, straining to free his bonds. He froze, staring at Rand. "Is that you, al'Thor? It is! Nya ha! I've found you, my prey! Soon you shall feel my hate—" Fain was abruptly cut off as he was dropped into the Black Ajah's kennel. Dinner for the Black Ajah ensued.
"They should all be stilled," Moiraine Damodred stated, climbing the steps to the others.
"Hey Moiraine! I thought you were dead!" Chirped Rand.
"Quiet boy! I don't know you! Anyways, they use to kill each other, especially that Liandrin. She's the worst one. That' s why we have to feed them like that."
"Lunch anyone?" Queried Cadsuane as everyone simultaneously lost whatever they'd had for breakfast via the sight beforehand.
During lunch, no one really ate much, so Cadsuane decided to simply begin the tour. They all walked down the steps of the Center.
"Cadsuane Sedai!" Two voices chorused , and Egwene al'Vere and Nynaeve al'Meara raced up the steps to her.
"Hello children! You've finally arrived! I've been waiting—err…Nynaeve, I thought Timmy was a boy." Cadsuane said.
"Timmy is a boy. But the author was running out of characters! And Lan's here so I simply MUST be present!" Explained Nynaeve, as she suddenly disappeared for some 'private time' with Lan.
"Hey Egwene! Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?" Smirked Galad.
"Stuff it, Galad! I'm in love with your brother so buzz off!"
"I will yet win your heart, Egwene!" Yelled Galad. "Then you'll discover the real me! I just cover up my evil intentions by being a good-two-shoes all the time! Bwahahahaahahh!"
*Smack!* Elayne, tired of her half-brother, solved the problem with a handy plank-o'-wood.
"Let's continue the tour, shall we?" Smiled Cadsuane, oblivious to the prior activities.
As they all gathered outside, Nynaeve and Lan appeared, flushed and tousled, and after a slight scuffle, settled into the two horse-drawn carriages with Rand, Lan, and Elayne in one cart, and Nynaeve, Egwene, and Galad in the other. Cadsuane headed back inside the Center as the horses began the tour.
All eyes lifted as they confronted a huge gate with the ancient symbol of the Aes Sedai engraved on it. "Are we going to hit that?" Whispered Nynaeve, and was answered as the gate slowly swung open.
"Welcome to Aes Sedai Park. We are approaching the Damane Pen. Please keep your arms and legs inside the carriage at all times. Thank You." Cadsuane's voice streamed from the Ter'angreals embedded in the wagons front.
"Wow, Damanes!" Gushed Rand, straining his eyes for a view.
"I WON'T LET THEM COLLAR ME! NOT AGAIN!" Screamed Egwene, proceeding to run to the hills, but was stopped as Nynaeve smacked her soundly.
The wagons passed by without so much as a glimpse of a Damane. "Darn it! What's wrong?" Muttered Rand.
"Arg! The bloody goat-kissing Damane won't flaming come into burning view!" Cursed Uno, his one eye narrowing.
"Hmmm…hopefully the next one will show up." Murmured Cadsuane. "I wish Nynaeve was here. There is a storm nearby and she could tell me if it's heading toward us."
"We better bloody better hope it'll flaming go in another bloody direction." Swore Uno.
"Moghedien! Are the fences alright? I sense a disturbance in them. Moghedien!" Called Cadsuane.
"Yeah, yeah. They're fine." Said Moghedien, lazing at her desk. "What do you expect me to do? *cue sappy music* A Forsaken can only do so much! *sob!* You're so pushy, Cadsuane!"
"I don't give a hoot about your personal problems, Moghedien. Just keep an eye on the fences and—"
"Be quiet. All of you!" Interrupted Moiraine. "They're entering the Forsaken Pen."
Soon the wagons approached a huge pen, the white Ter'angreal fence gleaming in the sun. All the bushes were still as the carriages stopped in front of it.
"What's in this one?" Asked Elayne, gazing at the fence.
"This is the Forsaken Pen. Lanfear is inside." Said Cadsuane's voice.
"Auuuggghhhhh! Lanfear! Gemme outta here NOW!" Screeched Rand, clawing to get away.
"Calm down, Rand! She won't hurt you!" Comforted Elayne.
Five minutes later…
"Why isn't Lanfear coming? I'm boooored." Whined Rand.
"Quiet boy!" Snapped Cadsuane from the Ter'angreal. "We're going to try and lure her out."
The ground in the pen slowly opened as an object lifted to reveal…a cardboard cut-out of Rand.
"This will bring her like flies to a midden heap," Smirked Cadsuane, clearly satisfied. "For now, let's continue the tour."
The wagon's horses plodded steadily on. Conversation hummed through the air. Elayne scanned the envoirment, and gasped as she spotted something. Leaping from the wagon, she started through the undergrowth. Everyone stared, the followed, and soon came to a small clearing.
"Nya! What are they doing!?" Demanded Cadsuane, panicking. "Stop the horses!"
"I told you we should have put Air Flows to keep them in," Moiraine said matter-o'-factly.
"Moghedien! It's your job to fix this problem!" Snapped Cadsuane.
"Mmbl ahemina hemina wibbe later." Mumbled Moghedien. After reaching a Heero Yuy Deathglareä, she instead responded, "Why don't I just do it tomorrow, or…never? Okay! Fine! I'll fix it! Relax!" She insisted, sneaking a glance at the 'inconspicuous' item from Asmodean.
"How long until the boat leaves? " Hissed Moghedien, contacting Asmodean through a small Ter'angreal communicator in her pocket.
"Maybe half an hour. Make it!" He replied before the line broke.
"Cadsuane! That flaming storm is coming right bloody for us!" Reported Uno.
"Get everyone back to the wagons!" Ordered Cadsuane, as a crack of thunder echoed through the sky.
A gray-clad Damane lay on the ground, breathing heavily, eyes squeezed shut and sweat running down her face. An Aes Sedai kneeled by her. "It's alright!" She said as she spotted the group. "This Damane is sick, and I'm not good at Healing." She explained.
"Well, how about I stay here and keep you company while the others go back to the wagons because of the approaching storm for no apparent reason when Nynaeve could simply Heal that poor Damane before you could say 'NynaevejustHealedthatDamane!'?" Said Elayne.
"Sounds great!" Smiled the Aes Sedai. She and Elayne waved goodbye as the group started back to the wagons, followed by a roll of thunder.
"They're flaming going back to the bloody wagons, Cadsuane Sedai." Said Uno.
"Good. At least something is going right." Sighed Cadsuane.
"Hey guys, you want something to eat?" Uno and Cadsuane turned to see a fidgeting Moghedien. "I mean because I want some food, you know, like some angreals—I mean pringles! Because I'm getting hungry for some secret containers—I mean some fried potaters!…So you want any or what?" She finished, nervously wringing her hands.
"No." Was their short reply.
"Oh! And the fences will be acting weird, but don't worry, it's not like they aren't working or anything…alright?"
As soon as their heads turned away, Moghedien snatched up her male sa'angreal holder, and channeled a small trickle, disrupting the power to all the fences and lights n' such. She quickly rushed up the stairs, and arrived unnoticed to the male sa'angreal rooms. Easily getting inside, she quickly grabbed the small sa'angreals and put them in the container. "Fifteen minutes left…" She breathed, then hurriedly went in search of her horse.
The rain buffeted the roof of the carriages as the horses plodded continually forward. Rand sighed loudly. Lan just sat there, doing his Stone Man impression. Suddenly both carriages came to a stop. "Why did the horses stop?" Worried Rand.
"What's bloody happening?!" Shouted Uno.
"Something's happened to the Ter'angreal fences. They're reacting strangely," Murmured Cadsuane.
"Cadsuane!" Called Moiraine, running up. "I can't find Moghedien anywhere! She's the only one who can fix this!"
"Where did she go?" Whispered Cadsuane.
"The horses look scared." Lan said, finally moving. Indeed, the horses were rolling their eyes and whickering fearfully, stamping their feet nervously. A loud crash of thunder and a bolt of lightning considerably bigger than those before hit a nearby tree, and the two sets of horses bolted, ripping their reins and lines from the carriages and running into the darkness, leaving both wagons sitting there.
"I hope the women are alright," Said Lan as Rand eyed the nearby fence.
"We're near Lanfear's Pen." He whispered. Lan shrugged.
"Boo!"
"AAAUUUUGGH!" Screamed Nynaeve as Egwene jumped from behind the seat and scared the living daylights out of her. "Egwene! Don't scare me!"
"Hee hee…alright, I'm sorry." Said Egwene. She blinked as she felt a small twinge. Someone nearby was channeling, and coming closer. "Feel that?" She asked.
"M-maybe it's Cadsuane, or Elayne," Stammered Nynaeve. "Hey, where's the cardboard cut-out of Rand?"
"Aaaaaahhhh!" Screamed both girls and Galad as the cut-out dropped in front of them, ripped in half. The silhouette of a woman stood near the fence. Reaching out, her hand touched the fence.
"Gah! The fences aren't working!" Yelled Egwene.
"I'm outta here!" Cried Galad, jumping from the carriage and running into a nearby restroom.
"What a jerk! He left us!" Egwene said, clearly disgusted.
"Hey, where's Galad going?" Asked Rand, back in the other carriage.
"When you gotta go, you gotta go." Was Lan's reply, and both gave a start as the white Ter'angreal fence shuddered and snapped, crashing to the ground.
Lanfear stepped out, a smile on her face. She channeled freely now, forming lightning bolts that hit at random and streaked across the sky. "Hahahahaahha!" She threw back her head and laughed, oblivious of the driving rain.
Both Egwene and Nynaeve stared with wide eyes, breathing fast. "Quick! There has to be an angreal around here somewhere!" Said Egwene, channeling a ball of light into her hand.
"Don't!" Nynaeve's warning came to late, however, as Lanfear, who had been heading toward Rand and Lan's cart, sensed Egwene channeling and immediately started toward the other.
"Stop! Stop channeling!" Yelled Nynaeve.
"I'm sorry!" Cried Egwene.
Both women screamed as Flows of Air began crushing the carriage.
"Nynaeve!" Yelled Lan.
"We have to save them!" Said Rand, leaping from the carriage. The other carriage had already been flipped over and reduced to crushed pieces of wood. Nynaeve and Egwene's cries echoed throughout the night.
"Hey! Lanfear!" Hollered Rand, waving his arms. "Cut it out!"
"Is that you, Lews Therin?" Beamed Lanfear, getting starry eyed. "I'll win your love back! Come to me!" She cried, ignoring the now crushed carriage, and began walking toward Rand. Lan ran forward, sword flashing. Chaos erupted as Lan was hurled backwards by Lanfear, and one of her stray weaves struck the restroom where Galad was hiding, exposing him. "What?" Cried an outraged Lanfear. "You're not Lews Therin! Die!" A white bar of light shot from her hands as Galad was balefired out of existence.
"Woo-hoo!" Yelled a bruised and battered Egwene, pumping her fist in the air while being pulled from under the carriage by Rand.
"Alright! Once this night is done, I'll be knee-deep in flies!" Sang Moghedien, riding her horse. "*gasp!* I'm running out of time! Giddy-up Lugosi!"
Unfortunately for Moghy, she had taken a wrong turn and her horse stumbled in a hole and fell, spilling her from the saddle before scrambling away into the night.
"Lugosi! Get back here! Bloody horse!" Shrieked Moghedien. A small rustle sounded behind her, and she whirled around. "Okaaay…gotta get out of here…" She said, easing back. "Nyaaa!" She yelled as a woman suddenly popped into view.
The woman was dressed in gray and watched Moghedien intently, cocking her head slightly. "Go away, stupid! I don't have any treaties! I'm not your Master! So scram!" Yelled Moghedien, waving her arms.
The Damane giggled softly, lifting her hand, and in a blink of an eye, balefired Moghedien to the Pits of Doom before skipping back into the forest. Lightning cracked as the container of male sa'angreals was buried under feet of mud.
"I'm stuck!" Called Nynaeve from under the wreckage.
"Just hang on! We'll—" Rand began, but cut off as he noticed Lanfear returning. Grabbing Egwene, he quickly swung off the edge of a cliff with a Flow of Air, and gaped as he watched what was left of the carriage be pushed off the cliff by Lanfear, who thereafter stalked into the nearby forest, bellowing with rage.
Upon reaching the bottom of the cliff, Rand climbed up the tree where Nynaeve and the carriage had landed. Peering inside, he called softly, "Nynaeve? Are you okay?"
"Of course not, you wool-headed mule! I fell of a cliff for Creator's sake!" Snapped Nynaeve, climbing from the wreckage and making her way down the tree.
"Yup, she's fine."
"Nynaeve!" Egwene called happily, throwing her arms around the other woman.
Once the reunion was complete, they all began their long treck into the forest.
"Cadsuane!" Yelled Uno. "We can't bloody fix the flaming fences without bloody Moghedien, the Light burn her!"
"Arg! What did that Forsaken do?!" Cried Cadsuane, clearly upset. After visibly composing herself, she turned to Moiraine, who stood next to Elayne (she arrived earlier). "Listen, Moiraine, could you please go out into the dangerous outside to find and rescue Nynaeve and Egwene…and the others I suppose. Please?"
"What are you, nuts? The whole island is crawling with escaped and dangerous channeling women! You'd have to be crazy to go! Why, one step outside and you're dead! But since you asked so nicely, I'll do it!" Shouted Moiraine, and in he state of adrenaline, sprinted out the door to find Aldieb.
"Errr…maybe I should go with her." Said Elayne, following.
"WheeEEEOOOooo! What happened here?" Cried Moiraine as she stopped Aldieb at Lanfear's Pen. Only one carriage was seen, and there was rubble where the restroom once stood.
"Urgle…"
"Gah! What was that?" Yelped Elayne, climbing down from her horse and moving some pieces of wood. "Eep! It's Lan, Moiraine!"
Lan lay on his back, groaning in pain. His ankle had swelled beyond human possibility. "It sure is a good thing we conveniently brought along Mandarb!" Chirped Elayne.
"Ummm…I think this is part of Galad." Moiraine said grimly. "I'm really sorry, Elayne. I know he was your half-brother and…Elayne?!"
Elayne was to busy dancing the funky chicken and singing to herself. "Oh yeah! Galad's dead! I'm Galad! Hah! Get it, Moiraine? Galad! Glad! Ahahahahahaaa!" Chortled Elayne. "*gasp!* Look! The other carriage!
Climbing to the bottom of the cliff, the two took note that Rand, Egwene, and Nynaeve were all right and had set off into the forest.
(Back with Lan)
Lan sat in Mandarb's saddle, back straight and eyes searching. Due to his Warder bond, Lan had a sense that something bad was going to happen. "Does anyone feel that?" He asked himself. "Hey! Elayne! Moiraine! Let's go! Now! NOW!" He yelled as Moiraine and Elayne scrambled onto their horses, faces white. Someone was channeling.
*Cue Jaws Theme*
The trees behind them crashed down from Flows of Air as Lanfear leaped out, jaws snapping wildly. "Aiee! Giddyup!" Shouted Elayne as her horse began to run. Lanfear promptly began chasing them.
"Whoo! Lanfear can run fast!" Whistled Elayne. "Light! She's catching up!"
Moiraine channeled, trying to fend off Lanfear, and they struggled for a few moments. Moiraine booted her horse into hyperspeed, and the others followed suit, leaving Lanfear yelling in their dust.
"Well, since there's no better place to sleep, let's climb a tree!" Rand said cheerfully, gripping the branches of one.
"I hate trees…" Grumbled Nynaeve, but both she and Egwene followed.
"Hey Rand, what if Lanfear comes back while we're all asleep?" Egwene nervously asked upon reaching the top.
"Uhhh…I'll stay awake." Answered Rand.
"All night?"
"Yep, all…zzzzzz…." Snored Rand.
"Hey Nynaeve, wanna tell some jokes?" Chirped Egwene.
"…Fine."
"Knock! Knock!"
"…Who's there?"
"I am!"
"Go to sleep, Egwene!"
"Uh, Cadsuane, we have to shut down all the fences to get them working again." Said Uno.
Everyone stared at him. "Amazing. Not one curse in a whole sentence!" Gaped Cadsuane. Shaking herself, she quickly got down to business. "Alright. We have to shut down the fences. Well what are we waiting for? Move it!"
"Bloody okay!" Said Uno, going to the main switch that controlled all the Ter'angreals in the park. "Hold onto your flaming butts." Pitch black swallowed the light as Uno flipped the switch. Moiraine and Elayne channeled, forming balls of light to shine around the room. Squinting his one eye, Uno leaned forward to study the small jewel embedded into the switch. It blinked slowly, light and dark.
"Look! It bloody worked!"
"But all the fences and stuff are still off!" Declared Lan.
"I just bloody need to get to the flaming utility shed and bloody turn on the burning main Ter'angreal. Bloody easy." Uno said, walking out.
"Where's the utility shed?" Asked Elayne.
"It's in the Black Ajah Pen." Said Moiraine, expression stony.
"Ohhhh…tired…" Panted Egwene, trudging across the wide field with Rand and Nynaeve. The sun scorched down on them, dry as dust.
"W-water!" Gasped Nynaeve, in no better shape.
"Whatta bunch a' sissies!" Laughed Rand, walking easily. "I'm not tired at all! In fact, I bet I could run to those trees and before you could even—hey! Wazzat?"
A group of a dozen or so women sprinted across the field, heading right toward them. "Uhhh…Damanes." Gulped Nynaeve, beginning to run. "They're coming right for us! Run!"
They did just that. The trio reached a large log and hid behind it as the Damanes leaped from the log and ran on.
With a yell, the trees on the edge of the field crashed down and Lanfear ran out, shrieking fiercely, channeling. Fireballs darted toward the frightened Damanes as they scattered.
"Let's make like a tree!" Whispered Rand, crawling away, followed by the two women.
*Cue some corny sad music*
"Hey Cadsuane! Can I have some ice cream too?" Chirped Elayne.
"Sure thing! Have a seat, Elayne!" Smiled Cadsuane. "Now comes the time where you yell at me for being a inconsiderate person and such. Ready?"
"Ready!" Elayne began. "What under the Light has possessed you, woman? People are dying! …Well, Galad dying wasn't a bad thing, but that's completely besides the point! Anyway, all the people we love are out there! *Sob!*
"Once I had a flea circus. Don't ask me why, I just did, alright? Well, I thought that it wasn't very nice having all these people and enemies trying to kill you. I just wanted them to have a second chance…" Cadsuane trailed off.
"…Can I have some ice cream now?"
"Fine."
"Mmmmm! This ice cream is goooood!" Sang Elayne.
Moiraine, Elayne, Cadsuane, and Lan are all in a football huddle, making a plan because Uno hasn't returned yet.
"All right. Uno hasn't returned yet, so we're in this huddle making a plan." Said Moiraine.
"The author just said that in the caption! What gives?!" Said Elayne.
"Why, because some people never read captions, that's why! Anyway, I'm going to mosey on over to the Black Ajah Pen with Elayne here to get Uno and turn on the fences! Lan, you stay here with Cadsuane and give us directions! Let's go!" Yelled Moiraine.
Breaking the huddle, they all went in different directions.
"Light!" Said Moiraine, horrified. "The Black Ajah's loose!" What was left of the Black Ajah's fence was scattered over the ground.
"I can see the fence from here! We can make it," Breathed Elayne, peering through the bushes.
"No. We can't." Said Moiraine.
"Why not?" Whimpered Elayne.
"Because…we're being shielded." Moiraine said softly.
A bolt of fear ran through Elayne. Gently reaching for saidar, she almost let out a wail as a shield kept her from embracing the True Source.
"I can see them…" Whispered Moiraine. "When I say 'shikaka', you run like there's Darkhounds on your heels, all right?" After Elayne's nod, she readied herself. "Okaaay…shiskabob! Just checkin' your ears. Ssss…Shaw Shank Redemption! Almost got you that time. Okay, ready? Ssss…ChicaGO!" Elayne took off running through the trees.
The breath tore in Elayne's throat and her heart pounded in her chest. Her feet splashed in puddles and bushes whipped her face, but she continued to run. Reaching the shed, she ripped open the door and leaped inside.
Moiraine barely blinked as she crept through the forest, her eyes trained on the form of a woman not twenty paces in front of her. Just as she coiled herself to spring, two other women flashed at her sides. "Clever girl…"
Quickly activating her Ter'angreal communicator, Elayne gave a start as she realized she could channel again. "*Kkkkkkk* Cadsuane? Do you copy? Over! *Kkkkkk*"
"Yeah, yeah, I copy." Replied Cadsuane, on the other Ter'angreal.
"*Kkkkkkk* Where do I go? Over! *Kkkkkkk*"
"Stop saying over! And cut it out! Those *Kkkkkk* sound effects are annoying! Take a left."
Following Cadsuane's directions, Elayne slowly made her way deep inside the shed.
"Look! We're back at Lanfear's Pen! …Or at least another part of it." Declared Nynaeve, pointing at the tall fence.
"Let's see if it still works!" Said Rand, laying both hands on the fence. "AUUUGGHHHHH! I'VE BEEN GENTLLLLLLED!" He screeched, and cut off, hooting with laughter.
"That wasn't funny, Rand!" Yelled Egwene, and was followed by Nynaeve saying, "That was great!"
"Guess we should start climbing." Shrugged Rand, and they all began.
"Dead end! Cadsuane, you give bad directions!" Yelled Cadsuane.
"I do not! Why I ougtha—Elayne? It's Lan. Now listen. Just follow the yellow brick road!"
"That sounds easy enough!" Elayne said cheerfully, dancing along the yellow bricked pavement beneath her feet.
"Hey Nynaeve! Betcha I can climb faster than youuuuu!" Taunted Egwene.
"Oh, you better back off!" Retorted Nynaeve.
"Ladies! This isn't a competition!" Whined Rand.
"Ready? Go!" Both Egwene and Nynaeve scrambled up the fence as fast as they could.
"There it is!" Elayne cried triumphantly, dashing to the main Ter'angreal switch. "Now what?"
"There should be a big red button that says 'channel to close.' Channel into it." Replied Cadsuane.
"Alrighty!" Channeling a bit of saidar into the button, Elayne gave a start as bright lights suddenly shone, revealing a bunch of buttons that said 'Damane fence', etc. "All I have to do is push these and I'll be a hero!" Said Elayne as she began.
The Ter'angreal fence began emitting a high-pitched whine and flashing brightly. Egwene and Rand both looked up to watch Nynaeve, who was still descending.
"Nynaeve, jump!" Shouted Egwene.
"Are you crazy?! No way!" Yelled Nynaeve, hanging onto the fence for dear life.
"Don't worry, Egwene, I can handle this." Reassured Rand. "Hey, Nynaeve! Lan's down here!"
"Arrrgghhh!" Nynaeve leaped from the fence just as the power came back on.
"Hey Cadsuane! I think we're back in business!" Laughed Elayne, who had just finished flipping all the switches.
Suddenly the wall behind Elayne exploded and Joiya Byir crashed out, screeching loudly. "Ahhhhh!" Screamed Elayne, trying to weave a shield and run at the same time. She stopped abruptly. "Hey…I thought you were stilled!" She shouted.
"Uh…well…you see…bye!" Waved Joiya as she scurried away.
Shaking her head, Elayne turned to leave and stopped, a smile lighting her face. "Hey Uno!" She waved cheerily.
"Bloody hello! I was on my flaming way out!" Smiled Uno. (Author's Note: Come on, as if I'd kill Uno! He's so cool!)
Both Elayne and Uno skipped happily outside.
"Whoooo! Look! We made it!" Cheered Rand, climbing up the steps of the visitor Center and walking inside. "Now you ladies stay here as I bravely venture outside and find the others! Bye!"
"Wow! Look at all the food!" Gaped Egwene, stuffing her face along with Nynaeve.
"Elayne!"
Elayne's head snapped up at the sound of Rand's voice. Climbing to the top of the hill, Elayne gasped as she caught sight of Rand, who turned to look at her. "Run!" She breathed, sprinting to Rand and throwing herself on him.
"Oh Elayne! I missed you so much! Gimme a smooch!" Chirped Rand.
"We don't have time for that! Let's go save the others!" Said Elayne, dragging Rand behind her.
Egwene smiled at Nynaeve across the table as they feasted on the vast amount of food. Nynaeve returned the smile. Egwene averted her gaze to the food, but at the sudden clatter of a dropped fork, looked up again. Nynaeve was staring, wide eyed and trembling, behind Egwene's shoulder.
Egwene turned and gasped as the shadow of a woman with a multitude of braids that just screamed 'Black Ajah' slowly moved closer.
The door of the room slammed shut as Nynaeve and Egwene ran to the other end, hiding behind the long counter, clutching each other in fear.
Nynaeve risked a peek as she craned her neck to look at the door window. A doll-like face stared straight back at her, pouting lips curved into a smile that failed to touch her eyes.
With a strangled gasp, Nynaeve shot back behind the desk, shivering. "Who is it?" Egwene asked timidly. "It's the Black Ajah…Liandrin." Breathed Nynaeve. Egwene gave a frightened whimper.
"Are you sure the Black Ajah are loose?" Repeated Cadsuane.
"Yeah. But they can't get inside the center." Answered Elayne. "Unless they figured out how to open doors, or something like that. Ha! Open doors! Oh! That's a good one! Hee hee…"
The door latch clicked and swung open as Liandrin's curved fingers retreated from the door handle. Stepping inside, she lifted her head high and bellowed, "HEY! I NEED SOME HELP HERE!"
After a few moments, a woman with a white streak in her hair stepped inside. Rianna smiled as she and Liandrin slowly began walking down the room.
"Follow me," Whispered Nynaeve, and began to crawl behind the long counter on the opposite side of the Black Ajah. Pots and kitchen utensils abruptly clattered to the ground. Nynaeve and Egwene scrambled behind the second counter seconds before Liandrin's head poked out of the opening. Nynaeve crawled to the end of the counter and motioned for Egwene to follow. Egwene shook her head fiercely.
"Have they shielded us?" Thought Egwene. Just to test, Egwene channeled the tiniest trickle of saidar. However small, Liandrin and Rianna's heads turned right to where Egwene was hiding as if a ladle had fallen.
Egwene remained absolutely still as Liandrin stood not a pace from her. Trying to quiet her breathing, she desperately searched for a way to escape.
"Egwene!" Thought Nynaeve. "I have to help her." Anger flooded into her body. Nynaeve channeled, embracing saidar until she was filled with it's bright light, drawing Liandrin away from Egwene.
Liandrin's eyes locked on Nynaeve as she started forward. A weave shot out, seeking to shield her. Nynaeve brushed it aside easily. Nynaeve was the strongest Aes Sedai in the world when she was angry (It's true! She is!). And she was nothing short of angry at the moment. Weaving a shield, she pushed it into place, stopping Liandrin from channeling before wrapping her with Flows of Air.
Pushing herself to her feet, Egwene embraced the One Power and threw a weave of Fire at Rianna. Blocking the Fire, Rinna fought back. Finally Egwene sliced through a weaving and tied Rianna with Flows of Air, tying them off.
Nynaeve and Egwene dashed out of the room and down the hall as fast as they could. It was only a matter of time before the two Black Ajah worked their way through the weave and undo the knot.
The two women met up with Rand and Elayne, and they all quickly positioned themselves in the main room. Elayne had a small emergency angreal, just in case. "We have to figure out what's wrong!" Said Egwene as she began making a weave, trying to fix what Moghedien had disrupted.
"The door won't lock!" Wailed Rand, raising his head and finding himself face-to-face with Liandrin in the door window. The door crashed open and Rand and Elayne both pushed against it, straining to keep it closed. Elayne had dropped the angreal in a place where she could not reach it.
"Hurry, Egwene!" Urged Nynaeve as Egwene continued making the weave. "Almost…got it!" Egwene yelled triumphantly.
All the lights and Ter'angreal door locks n' such jolted back on as the lock clicked in place.
Cadsuane lay a blanket over Lan and blinked when her Ter'angreal communicator buzzed.
"H-hello?" She said hesistantly.
"Hiya, Cadsuane! How ya doin'? All the things are working and everyone's happy, so does that mean that this insane fanfic is over?" Said Rand.
"Of course not, boy!"
"Alrighty! Just make a gateway and come get us, okay? And—Ah! Liandrin's coming in the window!" The sounds of battle emitted through the communicator.
"Don't!" Shrieked Cadsuane.
Elayne discarded her angreal as she and the others pried open a ceiling grate and climbed inside. Liandrin leapt onto the table and watched as the ceiling made depressions as somebody crawled by.
Egwene screamed as Liandrin shoved the tile away beneath her, and almost fell to the ground before catching the edge of the ceiling in one hand. Rand quickly pulled her up before barely getting her leg out of the way of Liandrin's fireball.
Reaching an exit, they all climbed out to find a surprise. Shrieking, Rianna ran forward in a frenzy. "Jump!" Shouted Rand, doing so himself. All of them crashed to the floor.
"Owww…wieee…jeez…" Groaned Nynaeve, holding her backside.
"I thought there was supposed to be some bones or something…?" Grumbled Elayne.
"Well, you see, there was some bones…but now there aren't." Explained Rianna. "Uhhh…where were we again?"
"We were at the part where you were just about to kill us," Said Rand.
"Okay!" Rianna stalked forward, chuckling evilly. The group began to back up, but whirled around as Liandrin's laugh sounded behind them. Both began to advance.
There was nowhere to go. They were trapped on both sides by the Black Ajah. Just when all seemed hopeless…
With an exultant cry, Lanfear fell upon Liandrin, pummeling her with the One Power. Trying to help her fellow Black, Rianna rushed forward, battling Lanfear. While all three were preoccupied with each other, the gang rushed out unnoticed.
Cadsuane drew up the carriage just as they emerged outside, and they all climbed in. "Hey Cadsuane! Your park sucks!" Yelled Rand.
"I know…" Cadsuane muttered.
Back in the center, Lanfear had won the battle, and striking a deadly pose, bellowed her triumph as a banner written with "Aes Sedai Park" fluttered past.
Cadsuane hung back at the gateway, staring at her island. Egwene and Elayne were high-fiving each other, Rand was talking with Uno, and Nynaeve fussed over Lan's leg. Cadsuane tried to swallow the lump in her throat as her eyes gazed at her island longingly.
A hand patted her shoulder. Cadsuane turned around to face Rand, who smiled cheerfully. Cadsuane's spirits lifted as she returned the smile.
Everyone gave a startled gasp as Moiraine walked out of the woods. "Moiraine! I thought you were dead!" Cried Elayne.
"Of course not, child!" Chided Moiraine. "I mean, it's not like I come back from the dead or anything!" (I just heard rumors, so I'm foreshadowing).
"Well, let's get outta here!" Cadsuane said cheerily, and they all stepped through the gateway.
As soon as they were all off the island and through the gateway, the group heaved a sigh of relief. Rand turned his head slightly to watch as a group of birds flew by.
*Cue the pretty end music*
"Hey Rand, whyr'e you watching birds?" Asked Elayne.
"Beats me! Is the fanfic done NOW?"
"Yes it is!"
"Hurray!"
*Credits roll*
The End.
Ohhh….my aching fingers…well, how'd ya like it? I know I skipped a couple parts. And I couldn't really decide who should be Timmy and who should be Lex, so I sorta switched them again and again. Sorry. Tell me watcha think! Please?
