We, The Wounded




"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned..."

The tall blonde lowered his head, upon entering the cathedral. It was there, in the same place his best friend had taken his last breath, where Vash had decided to make his first confession. The red trench coat, red like the blood his friend had shed, billowed just a bit behind him as he made his first steps into the church. Vash's lips were pressed in a firm stoic line across his mouth after he silently spoke, as he headed down the aisle to the alter.

"So you took him here...?"

The tenor voice spilled slowly from his lips, like slow dripping molasses. Aquamarine oculates had already started to moisten, as he leaned his head back a bit. A few shards of lemon yellow spikes dared to cross into Vash's vision, though he paid no mind to them at all. A large hand was placed against the back of a pew, as he continued to speak.

"Nicholas...I never got to say goodbye to you. I know that sounds so corny..."

Vash almost laughed in spite of himself, and his situation. Long fingers traced the outline of the pew, as he sank himself into it slowly. Vash rested his elbows upon his knees, as he rested his chin into two upturned palms, his gaze fixated upon the large hanging crucifix in front of him.

"...I can honestly tell you that...you were the only one who I believe, really understood me. I would have much rather called you my brother, than him...."

The last word spoken was nearly spat from his lips like acid, like it burned his mouth at the very mention of his twin. His jaw tightened, as his eyelids slid closed for a moment. After a second or two, golden lashes graced his cheeks in a blink as he once again looked to the crucifix.

"Every cross I see reminds me of you, Nicholas. You have to know that. Your eyes are reflected into every child's vision I see, every act of kindness, and every bottle of whiskey....and in her. She loved you, you know. The big girl with the biggest heart really loved you. And I did too."

The hints of a smile touched the corners of Vash's lips, as a quiet laugh escaped him. He shifted his weight in the pew, his eyes still fixated upon the cross.

"Not like that, you sick fool. I meant as a person, a human, as a brother of life. And here I am, making my first confession. I'd much rather do it here....than in your stupid little portable one. I can't believe you sometimes..."

Vash's head was thrown back with that signature laughter, the one that drove Meryl to the brinks of insanity.

"I never forgot what you told me that one time...that everytime you look at me, you're reminded of everything you hate about yourself. I just wonder what exactly it was that you saw in me, Nick, that you hated so much. There was nothing to hate in you....your heart was full of greatness. I only wish you could be here with me, with us, now. You taught me so much, without really ever whispering a word."

The laughter had died down a bit prior, and Vash's head was hung forward, the smile soon fading into a stoic line. He was choking on the words now, being caught back in the tears that now flowed so freely from his eyes. A few moist droplets made trails down his cheeks, and splattered onto the floor beneath him. Long gloved fingers raised up to his face, to wipe a few away.

"Damn it, Nick. You didn't have to die....you DIDN'T!!"

Vash cried out the last word, loudly, and the sound of his own voice echoed throughout the church. His fists were bunched up into tight balls, as he slammed both of them to his sides onto the wooden pew.

"You were following my reasoning, you walked away from Chapel to appease me....I can't help but to blame myself for your death....hell, even Meryl asked me why you had to die. I couldn't give her an answer, Nick, I could only say I was sorry. I had forgiven you long before you ever shot Zazie, but I am begging for your forgiveness now..."

Vash's words haunted even himself as he picked himself up from the pew weakly, and stepped over to the alter. He dropped to both knees heavily, and rested his head upon the small step that led upwards. His face was buried into both hands now, as he continued to sob and speak almost incoherently.

"Please, Nick, please....forgive me. I,I....I don't know what to do. It seemed when you were here, there was always an open path for me to follow....now all I see is the dust in the desert. I feel like I am solely responsible for your death, and you....y,you died alone....I am so sorry.....oh God I am so sorry, Nick...."

Vash's sobs had taken complete control over him, and he couldn't hold any emotions in any longer. He had failed to hear the sound of another entering behind him, and wasn't aware that there was anyone even next to him.

"Mr. Vash....."

The voice was so familiar, so clear, like ringing church bells on a Sunday morning. A large hand, though soft and delicate, was placed onto Vash's head, long fingers gently brushing his hair away from his face.

"Wha....what......Millie...?"

Vash blinked wildly up to her, as he gently pulled himself away from the small step. He remained kneeling, not caring that Millie had caught him in this state.

"Mr. Vash, Mr. Wolfwood wouldn't want you like this. He cared about you, very much so. I think.....I think that he would have gladly given his life to protect you. He wasn't ready to leave yet....though we'll all see him again. I promise."

Millie smiled lightly down to the sorrow stricken blonde on his knees before her, as she still toyed with his hair. With her free hand, she'd lowered it to wipe away a few tears from his tear stained face. Without warning, and much to Millie's surprise, Vash had grabbed onto her from the waist, and sobbed onto her long coat. He buried his face into the material, as Millie gently dropped to both knees. She reached her arms out to him, to take him into them. She quietly "shhed" into his ear, rocking him gently back and forth like a child.

"Millie, I...I,I....am so sorry...I should be here f,for you....not the other way a,around....I can't help myself...please, forgive me."

"Mr. Vash....I made my peace with him already....I've said countless prayers that made it up to him in Heaven. I'm stronger than you may think! But please, Vash.....you have to let him go. None of this was your fault, honestly and truly. Don't think that way, this was his destiny, and you know yours. He confessed to me the night before.....he....anyways he told me that he thought of you like the brother he wished he'd always had. That perhaps, his life would have turned out differently if you were in it from the beginning. Now come on! You have work to do, Mr. Vash. You have to meet your destiny."

And Millie slowly stood, nearly dragging the poor Vash up to her with her strength. Vash was almost limp in her arms, as he looked down to her with amazement filling in aquamarine eyes.

"...Millie, thank you....I,I....don't know what else to say...."

And the tall brunette smiled brightly, her face showing her content. Millie seemed finally at peace, and with ease with the world. She then released Vash and turned to her side, picking up the massive cross draped in a tan cloth. The Punisher.

"Say you'll take this with you when you go! Nicholas would love for you to take it with you on your journey. It's heavy, because it's so full of mercy."

Millie winked to Vash then, as the blonde offered a weak smile to her. Only then did he raise a hand to wipe his tears away from his face, and took the cross upon his shoulder. Vash then headed down the aisle with Millie, but not before one last look over his shoulder to the cross.

"Love and peace, my brother. And may you go with God..."