Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men Evolution. This is just pointless insanity.
Will You Hang Up?
The phone rang at the Institute. "I'll get it!" Scott picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Hey is Kitty there?" A familiar voice asked.
"Alvers is that you?" Scott fumed.
"No this is a recording."
"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling here?" Scott fumed.
"Don't stop now, you're getting close to the record," Lance snapped.
"Why don't you listen to me? Are you deaf?" Scott snapped.
"What? I can't hear you!" Lance retorted. "Just put Kitty on the phone."
"I'd rather put you on a rocket to Mars!" Scott told him. "Wide empty space full of rocks. You'd feel right at home."
"Speaking of home, when are you going back to the dog pound?" Lance asked.
"That answer's so lame it needs crutches!"
"Speaking of crutches, how's the ongoing debate between you and Duncan," Lance sniggered. "Red's stood you up more times than a bowling pin!"
"Considering how many times you've struck out, I'm amazed they haven't put you in the Guinness book of world records. Under biggest loser."
"Sorry Shades I'm nowhere near your record!" Lance retorted.
"Speaking of records I heard yours is longer than Al Capone's!"
"They ought to lock you away for boring people to death!"
"Hey Lance, next time you're out shopping buy yourself a personality!"
"Where did you get yours? A dollar store? I'll bet you got change back."
"Speaking of change when are you gonna change your toothbrush? I can smell your breath over the phone."
"At least I don't have a body odor that wilts plants!"
"Yeah well I don't stink like you do on the battlefield!" Scott snapped.
" Watch your back Summers! Nobody makes a fool outta me!"
"Yeah you can do that all by yourself!" Scott smirked.
"Isn't it time you were annoying someone else?" Lance snapped.
"Normally I don't waste time with losers, but for you I'll make an exception!" Scott said.
"Scott!" Kitty shouted on the extension. "As much as I'd love to listen to you two insult each other all day, get off the phone!"
"You heard her!" Scott told Lance.
"She was talking to you Lamebrain!" Lance snarled.
"You Rockhead!" Scott retorted.
"X-Geek!"
"Brotherhood Geek!"
"Nerdo!"
"Dorkinator!"
"Geek Brain!"
"No Brain!"
"Brain Dead!"
"Dead Last Loser!"
"Ultimate Loser!"
"Double Loser!"
"Agggh!" Kitty hung up the phone. "I can't take it anymore!" She hid her head underneath her pillow to drown out their bickering.
"Loser infinity!!!" Both screamed at the same time and slammed the phone down. A few minutes later the phone rang again. "Hello?" Scott asked.
"Goodbye!" Lance snarled and hung up. He waited a minute and dialed again. "Hello?"
"This is a recording, we are not home right now. Leave a message at the beep. BEEP!" Scott shouted and slammed the phone down.
The phone rang again. Xavier wheeled himself down the hall. "Not again…"
"They're gonna be at it all day aren't they?" Jean came out asking.
Scott slammed the phone down. It rang again. He answered it saying. "The number you have reached has been permanently disconnected. Please go jump in a lake. Ha!" He slammed it down again.
"Oh yeah," Xavier put a hand to his head. "Jean get me some aspirin will you?"
