Declaimer: I do not own any final fantasy characters or merchandises. All copyright belonged to Squaresoft.
Desperate Sorrow
Chapter 1 - A survivor.
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"To be forgotten is worst then death." Freya Crescent.
I cover up the novel. This is my millionth time to read this book, the tale of two knights, which was written by Freya Creasent, who was a highly respected dragon knight billion centuries ago. I usually don't like historic readings, I always think they are old fashions but this book is special. I absolutely agreed with the line – To be forgotten is worst then death. Every time I come across this seven-word introduction, it brings me back to the time where I lost my soul.
Here it comes again……………………………………
I remember the night before my wedding.
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On the second floor balcony of Balamb Garden, I was staring at the endless dark ocean bathing in the golden moonlight. Under the gamier Leon lights, I looked at my silvery engage ring down on my right hand, which Seifer put it up for me. I relieved an aimless sigh.
"Whoa, a beautiful bride like you shouldn't be sighing, Quisty!" I followed the sound of paces that made by cowboy boots and caught the slim figure of our talented sniper. Irvine walked upon me with a grin on his charming face. I smiled back. "I saw you walked off after Seifer rushed out of the cafeteria. I just curious if you are all right." As he said, he leaned his body on the marble fences.
For my limited memories, I recorded that I had never really shared a one-to-one conversation with the ladies man. However, I did not feel distant. Or may be, we used to be great friends when we were at the orphanage, in which I could not remember. Anyway, I knew that he wanted to bring up the conversation but the only thing I wanted was a moment of peace. "I am fine." I said. I softly bit my lower lip. Then, I heard Irvine giggled and I turned my head to him.
"Fine?! Hell, your face totally betrayed you.!" Irvine picked a pack of cigarette from his pocket. "Do you mind?" He didn't wait for my answer and searched for his lighter. "Damn, where did I put it?"
"Forget it! Smoke is bad for you health." I suggested. He shrugged. I swigged my ring and fell into my own thought again.
Irvine grabbed my hand in his hand with black glove. "Everything will be fine. Selfie was nervous like you while we got married. Look, I understand that was a shock but I am sure Seifer knows what to do. He will make his way out."
Really, I didn't expect someone like him would comfort me, at that time. I nodded. "I hope so. But this time is different. It is so hard for him. I can't believe Fujin failed the mission and lost the mobility of her legs! When Raijin told us the whole story, I just wish it was only a dream. I don't think this is a good time for the marriage."
Irvine put all his weight on the fences; the strong wind blew his crimson hair up. He commented, "However, there is nothing you guys can do, right?! That accident happened. No one can change it. Even we postponed the ceremony, Fuijin still won't be able to walk on her legs again."
I bowed my head down. "Please stop saying that…………. probably you are right."
Irvine gave me a bear hug. "Everything will turn out all right." With that saying, he took a bottle of Champaign from his jacket and shaken it. "Why don't we forget all those things and celebrate for you last day being single."
I saw him pointing the neck of bottle to my direction and knew he's going to spill all over me. "Hey, no!" Irvine wrinkled, "Who cares?"
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The marriage ceremony was held in a decent Gothic church near Windhill. That was a place where matron believed I was being christened. Colored glass windows garnished the church. It was absolutely wonderful after Selfie planted hundred of rose brushes at the entrance.
Our sorceress was wearing a silvery gown, she's the first person greeted me. She was holding Squall's arm. I was glad to see the couple again after their left from Garden.
"You are stunning, Quisty!!" Rinoa screamed and held my hands. I smiled at her cheerful attitude. I wished I would like her, simple. "Thanks." Then, she hugged me tightly, which nearly choked me.
Squall frowned and patted her head. "Rin, you better let go, otherwise, Quisty will be strangled."
"Oops." Rinoa finally released me. "Sorry!"
I smiled. Then I heard Irvine's voice, "How's our ex-commander?" He punched Squall's chest. "Still fit, eh?!"
At the same time, the royal Deling choir that we hired started their performance. Rinoa walked in a circle around Irvine, "You are tanned again?" Irvine grinned, "Got nothing to do while there's no mission. Besides, tanned skin is more attractive to the ladies. (He shrugged) So, shall we let these ladies have a little chat, while we check on the groom?" As he said, he grabbed Squall's shoulder.
"Whatever" Squall replied.
Rinoa and I giggled. And we both said, "Yea, whatever!" Then, I led her to the bride's dressing room, where Selphie was busy on organizing everything.
**** An hour later ****
I was standing at the back of the hall with a bunch of roses in my trembling hands. I grabbed them tightly. In front of me was a long, red rug, which led the holy path to the priest. Seifer was standing at the front next to Squall. He was clothed throughout in a tight-fitting grey suit, excellent in quality. It showed to advantage the good shape of his figure. That's the man I admired, I murmured to myself. I was holding Cid's hand, who would walk me along the aisle, as the name of my stepfather.
Just before the choir started the mighty hymn, our last pair of guests arrived, just on time. The double door entrance was forced open by a strong push. As what we expected, an embarrassing Zell was appeared with his girlfriend, Danni in his hand. All the guests stared at the couple.
"Sorry man, we got caught up by the damn traffic." Zell explained. His hair was grown a few inches long and tight up by a rubber band. He changed and looked much mature with this new style.
The priest nodded and asked them to have a seat. Some of Zell's favorite students were waving to him. Zell smiled and led Danni to sit next to the Kinneas to the reserved seats at the front row. Selphie seemed extremely delighted to see Zell again after his long vacation.
Everything seemed sort out. Every guest turned his attention back to us. Under hundreds pair of eyes, I was so panic while we started to walk towards Seifer. I saw Squall was standing next to Seifer as the best man, he gave me an encouraging smile. When I walked past Fujin and Raijin, I saw their wishing through their eyes. I felt safe when I walked nearer to all my friends at the front row. Matron seemed so proud of me. Soon, Cid passed my hand onto Seifer's.
My heart was bounding vigorously. I saw Seifer's serious expression through my veil.
The priest asked his routine question, "Quisty Trepe, are you willing to marry Seifer Almasy? No matter what the future will be……"
I took a deep breath, told myself that this was definitely the man I wanted to spend my whole life with, and answered "Yes. I do."
The priest nodded, "Seifer Almasy, are you willing to marry Quisty Trepe?"
"Yes, I would like to." I heard it came from Seifer's mouth. I was so happy. I hugged him with my hands around his neck. I thought I was safe in his embrace now. We would have a peaceful life together.
However, "I am sorry Quisty………" Seifer continued. I released him and looked at him with confusion. He did not dare to face me until he spilt out his full sentence, "I would like to marry you but I don't think I can." Then we stared at each other.
"What are you talking about?!" I shouted. I lost my temper I believed. I felt my head was exploding. I felt sick.
Then I heard Irvine stood up and said, "Come on, Seifer. Don't play around. You are only kidding, right?" And some of Seifer's top rank students crapped and whistled, "Good act, Seifer!!"
I focused on Seifer. He bowed his head down. "I am sorry." Then, he threw the silky box with our wedding rings inside onto the ground. I saw the box hit the status and the rings falling out. With the sound of box breaking, the entire hall ended in silence. Whistles and crapping were stopped. Seifer ran towards Fujin and picked her up from the wheel chair.
"Seifer?!" Fujin inquired. I could see her confusion and surprise.
Seifer did not say anything but walked out of the church without another look to any of us.
I heard Squall, Irvine and Zell were all shouting, "Seifer." And I knew they would chase after him. I, on the other hand, did not do anything, except let my tears dropped. My body seemed so heavy suddenly. I approach to the statues, bent my body, and tried to pick up the rings, our wedding rings, but I did not think I made it. I believed I was fainted.
Everything was a mess. Included my heart.
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This part of story I didn't know, until Fujin told me many years later.
I believed Seifer was rushed out the church and got on the wedding car immediately. He drove off while still hearing his friends shouting and screaming for begging him to come back. Sadly, he did not follow that way.
For being the posse for so many years, Fujin for the first time did not catch Seifer's mind. She did not have any clue to his extraordinary action. She was tided up with seat belts. She saw Seifer's driving aimlessly, then she asked, "DESTINATION?"
Seifer replied after a long time, "I don't know."
For no reason, Fujin giggled. She did not think this is funny. However, this is the typical Seifer that she knew. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING?!"
"Yes, of course I do. I am getting you out of here and stay with you. I will take care of you."
Fujin was shocked at Seifer's insane idea. She looked at him. "NO KIDDING!!"
Seifer kept pushing the speed up, in order to avoid any chasing. Although the window was closed and they could not feel the wind, all the objects around them passed by in extreme speed. "This is serious. Once we get to somewhere save, with less population. Probably a village, I will buy a house. You don't have to worry, I have my check book and cards with me."
The surrounding views were changing from hills to sands. Fujin knew that they were heading south to the desert area. She felt the tension arose. She knew that she needed to talk to Seifer. This is not making any sense!
"Seifer……I think we should go back. Quistis is waiting for you…."
"NO!! Didn't you hear?! We broke up. I already said sorry to her."
"This is not right!! It is a wedding, not a stupid child's game. This is serious. You have to turn back!! She is waiting for you."
"No. Quistis doesn't need me. You do. She will take care of herself, I am sure. I will look after you."
"Ok, this is all about my legs, right?! I am telling you that I am not deadly disable that as if I could not look after myself!! I am on therapy and I still have the possibility to walk again. Don't talk to me as if I am a damn disable"
"This is not what I mean. Fuu, I love you. I want to take care of you for the rest of my life."
"NO, YOU ARE NOT. You love Quistis."
"Back to yesterday, I may still in love with her. But now, I don't. I love you."
"NO, YOU DON'T"
"I do."
"YOU DON'T"
"I said……."
"Seifer, LOOK OUT!!!!"
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For the entire day, I was resting in my dormitory after a general check up by Dr. Kadowaki
. For the first time in my whole life, I wished I would never awake again. Instead, my mind was kept so clear which avoid me to fall asleep. Gradually, the golden flame of the almighty solar totally disappeared behind the cloud. Therefore I ended up stared at the starless sky outside my window and thought about Seifer again and again. It seemed as if I would never fad up.
None of my friends dared to disturb me; they just let me to be alone. I knew the Treppies and the Almasy were probably fighting and arguing all around the Garden. I could hear their protest for the most afternoon. But I didn't care anymore. Why should I? My life already a mess, how could I concern about the others? I always believe everyone should have a destiny and mine was simply a happy marriage. How come I fail?
I started to cry again. I let my tear drained to its driest. I let go my compressed emotion. I wanted my body to be worn out of tireless. However, it seemed never give me a moment of peace. Irvine came in.
"Quisty, I am sorry to wake you up." He said as he closed the door. Then, he saw my reddish eyes. After he sat on my bed, he ran through my blonde hairs by his hand and rested on my forehead. "I am sorry."
I looked at his sorrow face. The usually flirty and talkative sniper wasn't so himself today. I immediately knew something even worst had happened. "What's it?"
The cowboy took a while to make his nerve ready. Even though it's only a short period of dead air between us, it had already greatly increased my fear. Irvine used his other hand to hold mine, strongly; "We found Seifer and Fujin at the M6 motorway on the way to Desert Kamber. Their car was crashed to a huge tree. As the tree was dying, it's very fragile, thus it fell by the force, onto the car."
"How are they?" I heard myself rushed out the question.
"We believe they tried to avoid the massive falling trunk, there were evidence of 'Float' magic used……………… They're badly injured. They're at the infirmary now."
"Oh god! I'm going to the infirmary!" I got up.
"Quisty, just a sec. You may not want to hear this. But I should tell you first before you pay your visit. Fujin was awoke, but we believe she has lost her memory. And Seifer, amm, he is still in coma. Sorry, we did our best." Irvine said in a quiet tone.
I heard myself dropped on my bed.
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Author's note: Here, Irvine and Quisty are good friends. Just that, so do not expect any romance between them.
