Disclaimer- Don't own them....... etc..... chapter
one......go..... find out.......get back here.
Personal note- Thanks Zev! Thanks to my beta reader
KL! Thanks to my nephew Julius, for giving me ideas
and making me laugh until I cried… you little devil
To all, sorry that I took for ever to write, just been
in shock for what happen on Sept. 11, 2001. My
prayers go out to everyone and all I can say is hang
in there. http://www.xgmc.com/911/ it is a great site
where people have posted poems and drawings for those
in NY.
Meaning of Life
By the untalented JOxER
Chapter 10
Lucas sat in his wheelchair, reviewing the past
three days. It had been three days since Jesse
was rushed to the PICU. On the second day, at 7:30 pm,
Jesse died. Jesse lost the battle with AIDS and just
died. Lucas had sunk into a state of depression.
He blamed himself for Jesse's death. The captain,
Dr. Westphalen, Ben and the hospital felt the
loss of kid. The captain and Dr. Westphalen assured
Lucas that it was not his fault - that Jesse had
pneumonia when he came into the hospital. Lucas hadn't
bought a word they said, he'd just played along so they
would stop bothering him about it.
Jesse was being cremated today at 5am, and there
was going to be a service at 6pm in the small room-sized
chapel inside the hospital. Lucas couldn't face all the
people that cared for Jesse; he felt that they everyone would
blame him for Jesse's death. But at the same time, he
had to go. He had to pay his last respects to his
friend. The captain had brought some dress pants and shirt.
Nathan helped Lucas get dress , then the captain had to
go and use the rest room. He was dressed up and was
waiting for the captain to take him to the church.
Nathan entered the room, all suited in funeral clothes,
and greeted Lucas before pushing the chair. They were
both silent on the way down to the church.
The room was small but there were a lot of people
there. The woman in Jesse's photograph was dressed in
black. The woman was Jesse's aunt. She stood in the
front row near a picture of Jesse, smiling and holding
up his cat, surrounded by flowers and a 'we'll miss you' sign.
It seemed that whole hospital staff was there. Dr. Westphalen
was already there, waiting for the Captain and Lucas
to show up. Ben was near Nurse Bay as she cried her eyes
out.
The ceremony began with some words from his aunt. She
told everyone that she was glad they were there and began
telling the story of the short life of Jesse Porter. Afterward,
Jesse's ashes were going to be spread on the beach. It was
where Jesse had always thought he belonged. Lucas tuned
her out; he kept thinking that Jesse's life wouldn't have been
short if it weren't for him. 'Jesse should have been able to
visit the beach, but now… he was dead and it was all my fault'
was all Lucas could think about. He didn't feel the captain
pushing him out of the room, and the Dr. Westphalen noticed
his mood. She gently taped on his shoulder, making the
kid jump. Lucas looked around and was shocked to see
that almost everyone was gone.
"Lucas, are you all right?" Dr. Westphalen asked the
spaced out teen. Lucas appeared to be too lost in his
thoughts to notice her, because he didn't respond.
She tried again, with a little more force.
"Yeah, can we go back to my room? I'm not feeling
too good," Lucas replied, as he lied to the doctor once
again. He wasn't fine at all; he was a murder and
didn't deserve to live.
Kristen placed her hand on his forehead. "You are
kind of hot, we'll give you some more antibiotics."
"Fine," Lucas sighed.
Kristen was shocked that he didn't protest the antibodiotics.
Something was eating him up. Kristen remembered the long
talk she'd had with Nathan about the way Lucas felt, but she
was certain that Lucas couldn't believe that. 'How could he
blame himself?' Kristen thought.
After exiting the chapel, they took the elevator and headed
towards Lucas' room. Lucas was very quiet during the ride,
and it also beginning to worry the captain. Nathan made a
mental note to talk to Lucas again once they were in his
room. Upon entering the room, there was someone waiting.
As Lucas looked up, he began to breath heavily, but quickly
calmed down; he didn't want to make a scene in front of
the captain.
"Hello, Lucas. I have been waiting to see you. How are
you, son?" Lawrence Wolenczak asked.
"H-Hi, Dad," Lucas sputtered, coughing a bit before
continuing. "Surprised to see you here, " he squeaked out.
"You know I have been busy..." Lawrence began, but was
interrupted by the captain.
"Yeah right, cut the bull, Lawrence. Lucas has been
here for a over 2 weeks and not once have you
bothered to visit him or even call. What the hell brings you
here now, visiting hours are over." Nathan felt his blood
pressure rise and tried to calm down.
"Don't you dare talk to me like that. We are not on
your ship, captain, and this is my son. Do you
understand, MY son. Not your concern."
"Not my concern... How dare you!! You made him my
concern when you left him on my ship!!!"
"Please, lets all calm down." Kristen stood in front
of the two men.
"Sorry, like I said before, I am here to see Lucas and
want to take him home." Lawrence turned to the boy and
smiled. "He needs to get out of this hospital and
back home, where he belongs." Lucas looked up at his
father again and the smile was still there. Lucas
grabbed hold of the chair's arm rest as he remembered
that smile. Not the kind of smile that meant
happiness, oh no, Lucas knew this smile all to well.
Lawrence had plans for him.
"What! You want to take him home, and for what, he
might get worse being all alone."
"Captain, that is what I am trying to explain. I took
time off work to spend time with my son. I'll see to it
that he is well taken care of." Lawrence quickly
turned to Lucas. "Don't you want to go home, Lucas?"
Lucas only looked at the man before him. He turned to
see the captain and the doctor also looking at him,
awaiting the answer. Lucas turned back to his father and
saw that his eyes were getting furious. "Y-yes."
Lucas couldn't help but answer the question the
way his father wanted.
The captain looked at Lucas with confusion and quickly
looked at his father. Lawrence put on the fake smile.
"I want him out tonight." He quickly reached for the
nurse's button. All three adults stood there in
silence
"What wrong, Lucas?" inquired Nurse Alex, who
broke the silence in the room.
"Nothing is wrong with him, nurse, I want to take my
son home."
"Sir?"
Alex was shocked to realize that Lucas even had a father.
No one from the hospital ever seen the famous Dr.
Wolenczak and, now, he wanted his son. Alex turned to
see the captain and could see the anger in his eyes. Then,
he turned to see Lucas, who was now pale. Alex could see
that his breathing was slightly heavy and his eyes were…
they were strange. This was not the happy teen he knew,
something was wrong with him. 'He seems scared… like the
eyes of a little girl who was admitted yesterday after being
beaten by her mother's boyfriend…No.. Not Lucas, not
this kid…' Alex began to stop his mind from overreacting.
"Nurse, did you hear me!" Dr. Wolenczak shouted,
interpreting Alex's thoughts.
"I can't..."
"Yes you can, I have legal guardianship of my son and
by hospital regulations, if a parent wants to check
out his child, he may do so, whenever he wants." The
nurse turned to the captain and doctor and gave them
an apologetic look. Lawrence was right, but the nurse was
determined to stall.
"If you could wait until morning...," Alex began.
"I want him home now!"
"Calm down, sir. I need to talk to the doctor."
"You do that, Nurse."
The nurse walked out of Lucas' room and was soon
replaced by a male doctor.
"Hello, I'm Doctor Stevens. What seems to be the
problem?"
"The problem, Doctor, is that I want my son home now, and
your nurse here is delaying me!"
"I am sorry, sir, but Lucas' regular doctor, Dr. Chambers,
ordered him to remain here for at least another week."
"I don't care what the doctor said, I am his father
and I know what is best for him. The best thing for
him is to be home. Home with me."
"Wait a minute, here..." Nathan began to say when he was
interrupted.
"No, you wait, this is none of your concern!"
"Look here, Wolenczak...you never cared for this boy,
you are his father by law but…"
"Please, gentlemen, calm down. I do agree with the
doctor that Lucas should say here until he is
healthier and ready to leave."
"Doctor Westphalen, I know what is best for my son and
I know this is best." Lawrence turned to Lucas again
and repeated his question. "Lucas, do you feel up to
it? Leaving this place and going home?"
"I...I..yes." Lucas replied, with resistance.
"Now, doctor, can you get the papers ready. I want my
son now!" The doctor simply looked at Lawrence, he'd
just won the battle.
"Yes, very well, Mr. Wolenczak, I will have…"
"Dr. Stevens, before I get all the paper work, I need
to check his vitals." The nurse hinted to the doctor of
the hospital's rules. The doctor stared at the nurse, until
he finally got it. This could work. The condition Lucas
was in… it could.
"Very well, go ahead, Nurse," Dr. Stevens agreed with
a smile.
"Why do you need to do that?" Dr. Wolenczak was
getting curious.
"You see, Dr. Wolenczak, if Lucas' vitals are perfectly
fine, then we can release him. If he has a fever or
something else, by law we have to keep him until he
reaches a healthy state."
"I don't care for that.."
"Look, Dr. Wolenczak, it is the law here, and there is
no way I can authorize Lucas' release if he's still
sick."
Lawrence only glared as the nurse took Lucas'
vitals. His blood pressure was a little high but in
the limits for release. His pulse was fine and
everything was going in Lawrence's favor. Until Alex
got to Lucas' temperature. Alex would never have thought
he'd be glad to see a kid have a temperature of 101.2.
Alex stood up and reported to the waiting doctor.
The doctor turned to face Dr. Wolenczak and tried to
hide his smile as he spoke.
"I am sorry, sir. He has a temperature of 101.2 and we
can't release him." The doctor stood tall as he spoke.
"Look, I took my time off from the World Power just to
pick up my boy today. I don't care what you have
to say, I will take my boy home." Lawrence pushed the
doctor out of his way and headed towards Lucas
wheelchair. The captain moved Lucas back and stood
protectively in front of him.
"Move out of my way, Captain!"
"Over my dead body"
"That can be arrange!" Lawrence was about to launch into
a fight when another person joined the captain.
"I recommend you leave this room, Dr. Wolenczak
or I'll have to call security." The Nurse stood next to
the captain as he spoke. Lawrence couldn't care less that
there were two people to tackle, but the word 'security'
was a threat. Lawrence raised his hand in a gesture of
defeat and left the room.
"I will be back tomorrow and I expect my son to be
ready by 10am," Lawrence said, as he exited the room.
Everyone in Lucas' room sighed.
"Thank you, Nurse Alex, I thought I was actually going
to fight him."
"No fighting in my hospital."
"Well, if you all will excuse me, I have patients to cure,"
Dr. Stevens said, as he, too, left the room. He got
nods of thanks from the captain and Kristen. Alex
turned to Lucas and told him he was going to give him
another run of antibiotics for his fever. Then, soon,
there were three people left in the room.
The captain was wheeling Lucas to his bed, ready to
help the kid onto the bed, when Lucas asked if he could
use the restroom first. The captain wheeled him to
the restroom and left the kid to do his business alone.
Lucas had no intention of using the toilet; all he
wanted to do was sit there, in privacy. Lucas knew
his father was coming back and this time, he could get
some help from people he knew and would have Lucas out
of there in no time. Lucas was terrified. He knew
his father had special plans for him. 'Dad never lets
things go, he…' Lucas started thinking and remembered
the last time Lawrence got his revenge…-
*****
Lucas was scared to death as he sat in the office of the
Toys-R-Us. The security guard had caught the little
6-year-old hiding in the video games' section after
the store was closed to customers. Manager Angel Ramirez
was shocked that the little kid was alone in the big store.
The security guard had asked the child why he was there.
Lucas had remained silent.
"All right, little one, I'm Angel Ramirez. I'm the big
cheese here at this Toys-R-Us. What is your name?"
Angel tried another approach, being around tons of kids
everyday, he knew the boy was scared and knew just how
to talk to kids.
"L-Lucas."
"All right, Lucas. How old are you? 15?"
"No, I'm only 6." Lucas laughed slightly at the
manager for saying his age was 15.
"Wow, only 6! I thought you were older, sure look it.
So, tell me Lucas, do you have a last name?"
"Wolenczak."
"Oh, that's a great, strong name. Lucas Wolenczak.
Like I said, my name is Angel. Please to meet you
young man," Angel said, as he shook Lucas' hand. "Do
you want something to drink?" Lucas shook his head, but
then nodded. He hadn't had anything to drink for hours.
"How's does a fruit punch suit you?" Lucas nodded
again and took the can. He nearly drowned himself
with the punch, and a small amount pour down his chin,
landing on his Scooby Doo shirt.
"Hey, little one, you were thirsty. So, what brings
you here? Wanted to keep me company?"
"N-no. I just love video games and…" Lucas was trying
to hide the real reason he was there. He was only 6,
but could fool anyone with his innocent looks and the
believable lies his father forced him to learn. " I
think I lost track of the time."
"Oh, here I was thinking you wanted to spend time with
me. My loss. Well, Lucas, I am going to have to call
your parents and tell them what happened. The
security guard has written a report and he needs their
signature.
"D-do you have to?" Lucas was getting scared.
"'Fraid so. But I bet your folks are going out of
their minds not being able to find you." Lucas
remained silent.
"So, can I have your number?" Lucas looked up at the
manager and hesitated. He started tug on his shirt, not
sure of what to do.
"Lucas? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's… my dad is going to ground me… he hates
my playing games here and… do you have to?" Lucas'
eyes were getting watery. He pushed the tears back.
"Oh, little one, it's not that bad. I think your father
will be grateful for having his sweet boy returned
to him. Now, don't cry…" Angel moved in to give the
boy a hug, but Lucas pushed him back.
"No, I'm okay. The number is 563-5282," Lucas blurted
out, glad that the manger didn't hug him. His back was
too swore already, and the hug would have made him cry
out in pain.
The manager talked to Lawrence and, within 10 minutes
of the call, the security man opened the double
doors for Dr. Wolenczak. He walked into the hidden
office and Lucas eyes widen at the sight of his
father.
"Hello, Lawrence Wolenczak, I'm Angel Ramirez. We
spoke on the phone.." Angel extended his hand and
shook Lawrence's hand firmly.
"Thank you so much for finding him. I was going
insane when I found out he wasn't in his room doing
his homework like he was supposed to...." Lawrence
eyed his son and back to the manager. Lawrence was
an expert when it came to appearances.
"That is quite all right. I have a little girl around
his age. One day my wife and I couldn't find her and,
for three hours, we searched everywhere. We found her
in the dog house sleeping next to her dog." Lawrence
could care less for the Ramirez's rugrat but he had to
play along and laugh at the story.
"Well, I think I should get my son home. Come
on, Lucas." Lawrence turned and smiled at Lucas.
Lucas squirmed under his father smile and slowly got
up.
"One last thing, Mr. Wolenczak."
"Yes?"
"You need to sign the guard's report on the finding of
Lucas Wolenczak in our store. Security and records'
things. It just states that you picked up the lost
boy." Angel shoved the papers in Lawrence face and
Lawrence began to sign his name. After three
signatures, everything was complete. Lawrence shook
Angel's hand again and wished him the best. Angel
waved his goodbye to Lucas and told him to come during
open hours. Lucas was walking in front of his father
as they exited the toy store. At the exit, Lucas
wanted to run. Lawrence saw his son prepare to run
and grabbed his arm hard.
"Lets go home. Now!" Lucas gave a small whimper as his
father dragged him to the car. He opened the front
door and threw Lucas inside. Lawrence put the child lock
on the door and locked it. Lucas tried opening the door, but
it was to no use, he was locked in. Lucas tried to make it to the
driver's side, but his father was already there. Lucas
quickly moved as far as he could from his father.
Lawrence turned on the car and, as soon they were far
from the Toys-R-Us, began to yell at his son.
"You little piece of nothing, what were you thinking?"
Lucas remained silent. "You think you can get away
from me? You think I will just give up and let you
have your way. Oh no, you ran like the piece of shit
you are." Lawrence turned to his son and grabbed his
hair. "Are you going to answer me!?" his grip was
strong, but Lucas was too scared to talk. Lawrence
grew impatient with his son and slammed his head on
the dashboard. He repeated the action over and over.
After what seemed like the10th blow, Lawrence began
to question his son again, but notice that Lucas was
unconscious. Lucas' head had swollen and was turning
colors. A small cut had formed and bled all over his
father's dashboard.
When Lucas awoke, he found himself in bed. He was
still wearing the clothes he'd on when he hid in the
toy store, but he was really sore. All he could
remember of what seemed like a dream was his father
slamming his head into the dashboard. He looked around
and saw that he was alone. He tried to get up, but was in
too much pain. Lucas only remembered getting kicked
in the back before he fled from his father. He could
only imagine what his father did when we was
unconscious. His ribs hurt and he lifted his shirt
to feel his chest. It was really painful just to touch
them, and he knew that they had to be broken, or at
least cracked. His back was hurting, but he was in too
much pain to do more. Lucas moved his legs only to
to be rewarded with more pain. He looked at his legs
and saw what was causing it. His legs had been cut
with something sharp. Not deep, but surface
cuts hurts more that the deep ones. Lucas started to lift
his head to get a better look when his head felt like it
was going to explode. He almost passed out, but still
noticed something on his nightstand. The note read 5
pm. Lucas didn't know what it meant, but didn't have the
chance to figure it out because he blacked out. Around
4:30, his father awoke him. Lucas looked
up and, still in pain, tried to move away from his
father. Lawrence held up an extension cord.
"Pl-lease, dad...don't"
"You ran, Lucas. You don't ever run from me. If you
ever run from me again, I will kill you."
"I'm sorry...Please don't."
"I know you're sorry, you're always sorry! I am going
to make sure you learn never to run from me again."
"I won't! I swear I will never.." but Lucas never got a
chance to finish his sentence as the cord hit Lucas
legs. Lucas gave out a small cry as his father
repeated his action.
"Promises, promises you never keep. You never learn,
do you?. I think I must beat it into you until I am
sure you know never to run from me again…"
********
Lucas sat in the bathroom as tears ran down his hot
cheeks. He remembered that the beating didn't stop
there. There were two weeks of beatings until his father
was satisfied he'd learned his lesson. Lucas never ran
from his father after that, well, until now. Now he'd
disobeyed his father, and he was warned that, this time,
Lucas would pay with his life. He began to cry harder,
but silently. He didn't want anyone to know. He
thought he should tell the captain about his father. But
Lucas quickly shot that idea down. 'Oh yeah, the
captain is going to think you're a freak and might
send you back home. Why would he want me around after
I tell him? He probably already hates me for being a
murderer, why not add to the list.' Lucas thought and
began to cry harder. He was truly alone. He got up
from the toilet and tried to wipe his tears away. It was no
use, they kept on falling. Lucas couldn't let the
captain or the doctor see him crying, 'it wound bring
more questions' Lucas thought. An idea popped in his
head, they wouldn't question him if he fell. Lucas
slowly sat himself on the floor and spotted an empty
bedpan. He got the pan and slammed in on the ground.
Nathan and Kristen began fixing Lucas' bed. They were
both shocked that Lawrence was there and more shocked
by his actions. They were silently contemplating everything
when they heard a loud crash. Nathan ran to
Lucas' restroom and opened the door. Kristen was not
too far behind. Nathan found Lucas on the floor
crying.
"Lucas, are you all right?"
"No…I fell..I hit my leg, it hurts." Lucas was still
crying but he was sure that the captain thought he was
crying because of the pain in his leg.
"It is okay, Lucas. Let me help you up." Nathan bent
down and help Lucas up and in the wheelchair. As
Nathan wheeled him out of the restroom, Kristen
insisted to examine his leg. Lucas agreed and grunted
whenever Kristen touched his casted leg. Kristen
found nothing wrong and asked Nathan to lay him on the
bed. He did and she began to examine his ribs. They
were okay and she was relieved that nothing was wrong with
Lucas.
"Well, nothing seems wrong with you. Everything okay?"
Kristen asked
"Yeah. Just tired…" a soft knock interrupted Lucas.
It was Alex with the antibiotics.
"Well, Kid, lets get you hooked up." Alex turned to see
the captain and Kristen. "And, you two, I'm sorry
but visiting hours are over and I have to ask for you
to leave."
"We're sorry, nurse, what time is it?"
"Past nine. I let you stay a little past the limit but I was
caught by my supervisor and he wants you two to leave."
"Thank you, Alex." Kristen patted the nurse shoulders.
"Yes, thank you. Let's go, Kristen. Lucas, see you
tomorrow. Goodnight, kiddo."
"Goodnight, Captain, Dr. Westphalen," Lucas said as
they went out the door.
--
Just outside the Lucas' room, Nathan couldn't hold his
anger inside anymore. He made sure he was far enough
so that the boy wouldn't hear him, and then exploded.
"I can't believe what Dr. Wolenczak wanted to do! He
doesn't care for Lucas! He..," he looked around and
found some of the staff looking at him.
"Nathan, calm down. Please, you might blow a vein.
Look, I know what he wants to do was very wrong but
we can't stop it. Lawrence is his father and we can't
do anything."
"That is what you think. The first thing I am going
to do is call Bill."
"What's he going to do."
"I don't know. I've never dealt with anything like this,
but I'm not letting Lucas leave this hospital with
Lawrence. Lucas could fall like he did right now and
Lawrence wouldn't even know it. He could brake
another bone and bleed to death and Lawrence would be
too busy in a meeting!"
--
Well, kid, your all drugged up. Goodnight, Lucas." Alex
said as he finished the IV.
Lucas turned and said goodnight to the nurse. When the
nurse was out of sight, Lucas leaned over and unhooked
the IV line of the antibiotics. He thought that the fever
was the only thing keeping him in the hospital. But that
was not a sure escape route. His father has connections,
he could order the hospital to hand Lucas over or even
get the staff fired or something. There was no escape
for Lucas. He sat up and began to cry again. It
was pointless; he was going to die tomorrow. He was
sure his father would get him and it won't take long
for his father to begin the torture. The torture that
would eventually kill him.
He kept thought for hours, that passed like minutes.
Lucas was then thinking of Jesse. He was thinking of his
huge smile and his serious problem with Jell-o. Lucas couldn't
help but laugh when he remembered Jesse. But that came
crashing down, too. Lucas began to think that Jesse would
still be smiling if it weren't for him. He was a cold-blooded
murderer! Lucas couldn't stand sitting in bed and
letting his fevered mind think anymore. All he wanted
was to end it all.
He grabbed hold of the near-by wheelchair and
lowered himself into it. Ripping the IV tubes from his arm, he
waited for it to stop bleeding and, then, wheeled himself
out of the room, making sure that he wasn't followed.
Lucas accidentally passed Jesse's room and couldn't help but
look inside. Everything was gone. There were no pictures on
the table. No clippings on the walls. No trash can full
of Jell-O packages. Just like that, everything was
gone. He was now more determine to end it all.
Lucas couldn't understand why life had been against
him from the start. The only way to save himself from
all the pain was to end it all himself. 'But how?' Lucas
thought. He considered many possibilities until one made
sense. He knew it would work. Lucas wheeled himself to
the elevator. He looked for the roof button but there was
none. It was only a two-story building. Lucas then
turned to the stairs. He opened the door and saw the
arrow labeled "Roof" pointing up the stairs. 'Oh boy,
thanks for making this hard' He spoke to the listener
from above and took in a deep breath as he stood up
from the chair. Leaving the chair outside the door, he
began to climb the stairs. By the third step, his
leg was beginning to throb. The pain was severe, but he
couldn't give up. Halfway there, he started thinking. On
reaching the door labeled roof, he quickly re-thought his
actions. He was sure he wanted to do this. The fever
inhibited his weary common sense, and Lucas couldn't
think of a reason not to go through with it.
He opened the door, feeling the cold air of the night
refreshing. Walking toward the edge of the building,
Lucas silently began to pray. He hoped that everyone
could forgive him for everything, for the stunt he
was about to pull, for screwing up so many times, for
killing Jesse… Nearing the edge, Lucas began to
cry.
"This is my only way out. This! It is not fair!"
Lucas began to shout at the listener above. "Why?
Huh? Answer me! Why? If you are so mighty, why did
you let this happen to me!!! I wish I was never born.
I've wish it so hard everyday of my life, and what have you
done? Nothing. Like always, I turned to you for help
and nothing. That is what you are nothing!!!." Lucas
looked down at the night street and spoke again to the
listener. "This is the only way, huh? Well…" Lucas
closed his eyes and was about ready to jump when a
noise from behind made him jump.
"Who's there?" Lucas turned around, but saw no one. He
turned back around and nearly had a heart attack as he
saw someone sitting on the ledge right in front of
him. He started to walk backwards upon seeing what
was right in front of him.
"No…no, it can't be…you're not real…I mean…no.."
"That is half true, Lucas. I am somewhat real. Not
like you're real, but I am really here and really talking
to you! Really, Lucas! Real, real, real!!!"
"No..I kil…your dead…" Lucas began to wipe his eyes to
make sure what he was seeing was true. "I know, it is
the fever, yeah… I'm just imagining you.."
"Yeah right, next thing you are going to tell me that
the Marlins beat my Yankees. By the way Lucas, the
Marlins lost to the Yankees, didn't they?!"
"It can't be.. Jesse, your dead!"
"Why do you have to tell me that, a 'nice to see you
again' would be nicer, Lucas." Jesse replied.
"I don't… there is no such thing as…ghosts"
"Ouch! Well, believe it!"
"Well, thanks for solving a mystery for me before I
die. See you later, Jesse." Lucas started to walk to
the edge, but Jesse stood in front of him.
"Wait a minute, Lucas. Why are you doing this?"
"It is the only way!"
"No, it is not. Why don't you trust the captain or the
doctor about your dad?"
"How did you know?" Jesse pointed to the sky above. "Fine
you know. If they ever knew, they would hate me and
send me away! Please, let me finish this!"
"Why do you think that? I am sure that the captain would
only want to help you out if you told him!"
"You are not going to change my mind. It's all made
up, I want it to be this way. Better be my hand than my
father's!"
"But why?!"
"I just told you, it is the only way. Now if you don't
mind."
"Wait… okay, fine. You still blame yourself for me
dying, well make it up to me!"
"What?"
"Why do you think I am here? The big guy wants to
grant you your wish."
"What?"
"Hello... 'I wish I was never born'. Please, let me
show you what the world would be like. You think
one-person can't change the world; believe me Lucas,
one-person can. Please, let me show you!"
"I.."
"You owe me that much!"
Lucas couldn't answer; he walked to the edge again and
began to argue inside his brain. He still wanted to
jump. He still wished he was never born. He knew
he owed Jesse, for pete's sake, Lucas killed him. He
was about to tell Jesse to do it when Jesse
started to walk towards him.
"Good!" Jesse said and pushed Lucas off the building.
Lucas began to scream, readying for the impact with
the ground. His last thoughts were of Darwin and the
Captain when he hit. He screamed so loud he thought
he'd made himself deaf, but then noticed he was laying
in a grassy field. Lucas got up and saw that he was still
in the hospital gown, but his leg was mysteriously healed.
He jumped when he felt someone tugging on his gown.
Jesse was dressed in overalls and stood in front of Lucas.
"All right, Lucas, let the tour began"
one......go..... find out.......get back here.
Personal note- Thanks Zev! Thanks to my beta reader
KL! Thanks to my nephew Julius, for giving me ideas
and making me laugh until I cried… you little devil
To all, sorry that I took for ever to write, just been
in shock for what happen on Sept. 11, 2001. My
prayers go out to everyone and all I can say is hang
in there. http://www.xgmc.com/911/ it is a great site
where people have posted poems and drawings for those
in NY.
Meaning of Life
By the untalented JOxER
Chapter 10
Lucas sat in his wheelchair, reviewing the past
three days. It had been three days since Jesse
was rushed to the PICU. On the second day, at 7:30 pm,
Jesse died. Jesse lost the battle with AIDS and just
died. Lucas had sunk into a state of depression.
He blamed himself for Jesse's death. The captain,
Dr. Westphalen, Ben and the hospital felt the
loss of kid. The captain and Dr. Westphalen assured
Lucas that it was not his fault - that Jesse had
pneumonia when he came into the hospital. Lucas hadn't
bought a word they said, he'd just played along so they
would stop bothering him about it.
Jesse was being cremated today at 5am, and there
was going to be a service at 6pm in the small room-sized
chapel inside the hospital. Lucas couldn't face all the
people that cared for Jesse; he felt that they everyone would
blame him for Jesse's death. But at the same time, he
had to go. He had to pay his last respects to his
friend. The captain had brought some dress pants and shirt.
Nathan helped Lucas get dress , then the captain had to
go and use the rest room. He was dressed up and was
waiting for the captain to take him to the church.
Nathan entered the room, all suited in funeral clothes,
and greeted Lucas before pushing the chair. They were
both silent on the way down to the church.
The room was small but there were a lot of people
there. The woman in Jesse's photograph was dressed in
black. The woman was Jesse's aunt. She stood in the
front row near a picture of Jesse, smiling and holding
up his cat, surrounded by flowers and a 'we'll miss you' sign.
It seemed that whole hospital staff was there. Dr. Westphalen
was already there, waiting for the Captain and Lucas
to show up. Ben was near Nurse Bay as she cried her eyes
out.
The ceremony began with some words from his aunt. She
told everyone that she was glad they were there and began
telling the story of the short life of Jesse Porter. Afterward,
Jesse's ashes were going to be spread on the beach. It was
where Jesse had always thought he belonged. Lucas tuned
her out; he kept thinking that Jesse's life wouldn't have been
short if it weren't for him. 'Jesse should have been able to
visit the beach, but now… he was dead and it was all my fault'
was all Lucas could think about. He didn't feel the captain
pushing him out of the room, and the Dr. Westphalen noticed
his mood. She gently taped on his shoulder, making the
kid jump. Lucas looked around and was shocked to see
that almost everyone was gone.
"Lucas, are you all right?" Dr. Westphalen asked the
spaced out teen. Lucas appeared to be too lost in his
thoughts to notice her, because he didn't respond.
She tried again, with a little more force.
"Yeah, can we go back to my room? I'm not feeling
too good," Lucas replied, as he lied to the doctor once
again. He wasn't fine at all; he was a murder and
didn't deserve to live.
Kristen placed her hand on his forehead. "You are
kind of hot, we'll give you some more antibiotics."
"Fine," Lucas sighed.
Kristen was shocked that he didn't protest the antibodiotics.
Something was eating him up. Kristen remembered the long
talk she'd had with Nathan about the way Lucas felt, but she
was certain that Lucas couldn't believe that. 'How could he
blame himself?' Kristen thought.
After exiting the chapel, they took the elevator and headed
towards Lucas' room. Lucas was very quiet during the ride,
and it also beginning to worry the captain. Nathan made a
mental note to talk to Lucas again once they were in his
room. Upon entering the room, there was someone waiting.
As Lucas looked up, he began to breath heavily, but quickly
calmed down; he didn't want to make a scene in front of
the captain.
"Hello, Lucas. I have been waiting to see you. How are
you, son?" Lawrence Wolenczak asked.
"H-Hi, Dad," Lucas sputtered, coughing a bit before
continuing. "Surprised to see you here, " he squeaked out.
"You know I have been busy..." Lawrence began, but was
interrupted by the captain.
"Yeah right, cut the bull, Lawrence. Lucas has been
here for a over 2 weeks and not once have you
bothered to visit him or even call. What the hell brings you
here now, visiting hours are over." Nathan felt his blood
pressure rise and tried to calm down.
"Don't you dare talk to me like that. We are not on
your ship, captain, and this is my son. Do you
understand, MY son. Not your concern."
"Not my concern... How dare you!! You made him my
concern when you left him on my ship!!!"
"Please, lets all calm down." Kristen stood in front
of the two men.
"Sorry, like I said before, I am here to see Lucas and
want to take him home." Lawrence turned to the boy and
smiled. "He needs to get out of this hospital and
back home, where he belongs." Lucas looked up at his
father again and the smile was still there. Lucas
grabbed hold of the chair's arm rest as he remembered
that smile. Not the kind of smile that meant
happiness, oh no, Lucas knew this smile all to well.
Lawrence had plans for him.
"What! You want to take him home, and for what, he
might get worse being all alone."
"Captain, that is what I am trying to explain. I took
time off work to spend time with my son. I'll see to it
that he is well taken care of." Lawrence quickly
turned to Lucas. "Don't you want to go home, Lucas?"
Lucas only looked at the man before him. He turned to
see the captain and the doctor also looking at him,
awaiting the answer. Lucas turned back to his father and
saw that his eyes were getting furious. "Y-yes."
Lucas couldn't help but answer the question the
way his father wanted.
The captain looked at Lucas with confusion and quickly
looked at his father. Lawrence put on the fake smile.
"I want him out tonight." He quickly reached for the
nurse's button. All three adults stood there in
silence
"What wrong, Lucas?" inquired Nurse Alex, who
broke the silence in the room.
"Nothing is wrong with him, nurse, I want to take my
son home."
"Sir?"
Alex was shocked to realize that Lucas even had a father.
No one from the hospital ever seen the famous Dr.
Wolenczak and, now, he wanted his son. Alex turned to
see the captain and could see the anger in his eyes. Then,
he turned to see Lucas, who was now pale. Alex could see
that his breathing was slightly heavy and his eyes were…
they were strange. This was not the happy teen he knew,
something was wrong with him. 'He seems scared… like the
eyes of a little girl who was admitted yesterday after being
beaten by her mother's boyfriend…No.. Not Lucas, not
this kid…' Alex began to stop his mind from overreacting.
"Nurse, did you hear me!" Dr. Wolenczak shouted,
interpreting Alex's thoughts.
"I can't..."
"Yes you can, I have legal guardianship of my son and
by hospital regulations, if a parent wants to check
out his child, he may do so, whenever he wants." The
nurse turned to the captain and doctor and gave them
an apologetic look. Lawrence was right, but the nurse was
determined to stall.
"If you could wait until morning...," Alex began.
"I want him home now!"
"Calm down, sir. I need to talk to the doctor."
"You do that, Nurse."
The nurse walked out of Lucas' room and was soon
replaced by a male doctor.
"Hello, I'm Doctor Stevens. What seems to be the
problem?"
"The problem, Doctor, is that I want my son home now, and
your nurse here is delaying me!"
"I am sorry, sir, but Lucas' regular doctor, Dr. Chambers,
ordered him to remain here for at least another week."
"I don't care what the doctor said, I am his father
and I know what is best for him. The best thing for
him is to be home. Home with me."
"Wait a minute, here..." Nathan began to say when he was
interrupted.
"No, you wait, this is none of your concern!"
"Look here, Wolenczak...you never cared for this boy,
you are his father by law but…"
"Please, gentlemen, calm down. I do agree with the
doctor that Lucas should say here until he is
healthier and ready to leave."
"Doctor Westphalen, I know what is best for my son and
I know this is best." Lawrence turned to Lucas again
and repeated his question. "Lucas, do you feel up to
it? Leaving this place and going home?"
"I...I..yes." Lucas replied, with resistance.
"Now, doctor, can you get the papers ready. I want my
son now!" The doctor simply looked at Lawrence, he'd
just won the battle.
"Yes, very well, Mr. Wolenczak, I will have…"
"Dr. Stevens, before I get all the paper work, I need
to check his vitals." The nurse hinted to the doctor of
the hospital's rules. The doctor stared at the nurse, until
he finally got it. This could work. The condition Lucas
was in… it could.
"Very well, go ahead, Nurse," Dr. Stevens agreed with
a smile.
"Why do you need to do that?" Dr. Wolenczak was
getting curious.
"You see, Dr. Wolenczak, if Lucas' vitals are perfectly
fine, then we can release him. If he has a fever or
something else, by law we have to keep him until he
reaches a healthy state."
"I don't care for that.."
"Look, Dr. Wolenczak, it is the law here, and there is
no way I can authorize Lucas' release if he's still
sick."
Lawrence only glared as the nurse took Lucas'
vitals. His blood pressure was a little high but in
the limits for release. His pulse was fine and
everything was going in Lawrence's favor. Until Alex
got to Lucas' temperature. Alex would never have thought
he'd be glad to see a kid have a temperature of 101.2.
Alex stood up and reported to the waiting doctor.
The doctor turned to face Dr. Wolenczak and tried to
hide his smile as he spoke.
"I am sorry, sir. He has a temperature of 101.2 and we
can't release him." The doctor stood tall as he spoke.
"Look, I took my time off from the World Power just to
pick up my boy today. I don't care what you have
to say, I will take my boy home." Lawrence pushed the
doctor out of his way and headed towards Lucas
wheelchair. The captain moved Lucas back and stood
protectively in front of him.
"Move out of my way, Captain!"
"Over my dead body"
"That can be arrange!" Lawrence was about to launch into
a fight when another person joined the captain.
"I recommend you leave this room, Dr. Wolenczak
or I'll have to call security." The Nurse stood next to
the captain as he spoke. Lawrence couldn't care less that
there were two people to tackle, but the word 'security'
was a threat. Lawrence raised his hand in a gesture of
defeat and left the room.
"I will be back tomorrow and I expect my son to be
ready by 10am," Lawrence said, as he exited the room.
Everyone in Lucas' room sighed.
"Thank you, Nurse Alex, I thought I was actually going
to fight him."
"No fighting in my hospital."
"Well, if you all will excuse me, I have patients to cure,"
Dr. Stevens said, as he, too, left the room. He got
nods of thanks from the captain and Kristen. Alex
turned to Lucas and told him he was going to give him
another run of antibiotics for his fever. Then, soon,
there were three people left in the room.
The captain was wheeling Lucas to his bed, ready to
help the kid onto the bed, when Lucas asked if he could
use the restroom first. The captain wheeled him to
the restroom and left the kid to do his business alone.
Lucas had no intention of using the toilet; all he
wanted to do was sit there, in privacy. Lucas knew
his father was coming back and this time, he could get
some help from people he knew and would have Lucas out
of there in no time. Lucas was terrified. He knew
his father had special plans for him. 'Dad never lets
things go, he…' Lucas started thinking and remembered
the last time Lawrence got his revenge…-
*****
Lucas was scared to death as he sat in the office of the
Toys-R-Us. The security guard had caught the little
6-year-old hiding in the video games' section after
the store was closed to customers. Manager Angel Ramirez
was shocked that the little kid was alone in the big store.
The security guard had asked the child why he was there.
Lucas had remained silent.
"All right, little one, I'm Angel Ramirez. I'm the big
cheese here at this Toys-R-Us. What is your name?"
Angel tried another approach, being around tons of kids
everyday, he knew the boy was scared and knew just how
to talk to kids.
"L-Lucas."
"All right, Lucas. How old are you? 15?"
"No, I'm only 6." Lucas laughed slightly at the
manager for saying his age was 15.
"Wow, only 6! I thought you were older, sure look it.
So, tell me Lucas, do you have a last name?"
"Wolenczak."
"Oh, that's a great, strong name. Lucas Wolenczak.
Like I said, my name is Angel. Please to meet you
young man," Angel said, as he shook Lucas' hand. "Do
you want something to drink?" Lucas shook his head, but
then nodded. He hadn't had anything to drink for hours.
"How's does a fruit punch suit you?" Lucas nodded
again and took the can. He nearly drowned himself
with the punch, and a small amount pour down his chin,
landing on his Scooby Doo shirt.
"Hey, little one, you were thirsty. So, what brings
you here? Wanted to keep me company?"
"N-no. I just love video games and…" Lucas was trying
to hide the real reason he was there. He was only 6,
but could fool anyone with his innocent looks and the
believable lies his father forced him to learn. " I
think I lost track of the time."
"Oh, here I was thinking you wanted to spend time with
me. My loss. Well, Lucas, I am going to have to call
your parents and tell them what happened. The
security guard has written a report and he needs their
signature.
"D-do you have to?" Lucas was getting scared.
"'Fraid so. But I bet your folks are going out of
their minds not being able to find you." Lucas
remained silent.
"So, can I have your number?" Lucas looked up at the
manager and hesitated. He started tug on his shirt, not
sure of what to do.
"Lucas? Are you okay?"
"Yeah, it's… my dad is going to ground me… he hates
my playing games here and… do you have to?" Lucas'
eyes were getting watery. He pushed the tears back.
"Oh, little one, it's not that bad. I think your father
will be grateful for having his sweet boy returned
to him. Now, don't cry…" Angel moved in to give the
boy a hug, but Lucas pushed him back.
"No, I'm okay. The number is 563-5282," Lucas blurted
out, glad that the manger didn't hug him. His back was
too swore already, and the hug would have made him cry
out in pain.
The manager talked to Lawrence and, within 10 minutes
of the call, the security man opened the double
doors for Dr. Wolenczak. He walked into the hidden
office and Lucas eyes widen at the sight of his
father.
"Hello, Lawrence Wolenczak, I'm Angel Ramirez. We
spoke on the phone.." Angel extended his hand and
shook Lawrence's hand firmly.
"Thank you so much for finding him. I was going
insane when I found out he wasn't in his room doing
his homework like he was supposed to...." Lawrence
eyed his son and back to the manager. Lawrence was
an expert when it came to appearances.
"That is quite all right. I have a little girl around
his age. One day my wife and I couldn't find her and,
for three hours, we searched everywhere. We found her
in the dog house sleeping next to her dog." Lawrence
could care less for the Ramirez's rugrat but he had to
play along and laugh at the story.
"Well, I think I should get my son home. Come
on, Lucas." Lawrence turned and smiled at Lucas.
Lucas squirmed under his father smile and slowly got
up.
"One last thing, Mr. Wolenczak."
"Yes?"
"You need to sign the guard's report on the finding of
Lucas Wolenczak in our store. Security and records'
things. It just states that you picked up the lost
boy." Angel shoved the papers in Lawrence face and
Lawrence began to sign his name. After three
signatures, everything was complete. Lawrence shook
Angel's hand again and wished him the best. Angel
waved his goodbye to Lucas and told him to come during
open hours. Lucas was walking in front of his father
as they exited the toy store. At the exit, Lucas
wanted to run. Lawrence saw his son prepare to run
and grabbed his arm hard.
"Lets go home. Now!" Lucas gave a small whimper as his
father dragged him to the car. He opened the front
door and threw Lucas inside. Lawrence put the child lock
on the door and locked it. Lucas tried opening the door, but
it was to no use, he was locked in. Lucas tried to make it to the
driver's side, but his father was already there. Lucas
quickly moved as far as he could from his father.
Lawrence turned on the car and, as soon they were far
from the Toys-R-Us, began to yell at his son.
"You little piece of nothing, what were you thinking?"
Lucas remained silent. "You think you can get away
from me? You think I will just give up and let you
have your way. Oh no, you ran like the piece of shit
you are." Lawrence turned to his son and grabbed his
hair. "Are you going to answer me!?" his grip was
strong, but Lucas was too scared to talk. Lawrence
grew impatient with his son and slammed his head on
the dashboard. He repeated the action over and over.
After what seemed like the10th blow, Lawrence began
to question his son again, but notice that Lucas was
unconscious. Lucas' head had swollen and was turning
colors. A small cut had formed and bled all over his
father's dashboard.
When Lucas awoke, he found himself in bed. He was
still wearing the clothes he'd on when he hid in the
toy store, but he was really sore. All he could
remember of what seemed like a dream was his father
slamming his head into the dashboard. He looked around
and saw that he was alone. He tried to get up, but was in
too much pain. Lucas only remembered getting kicked
in the back before he fled from his father. He could
only imagine what his father did when we was
unconscious. His ribs hurt and he lifted his shirt
to feel his chest. It was really painful just to touch
them, and he knew that they had to be broken, or at
least cracked. His back was hurting, but he was in too
much pain to do more. Lucas moved his legs only to
to be rewarded with more pain. He looked at his legs
and saw what was causing it. His legs had been cut
with something sharp. Not deep, but surface
cuts hurts more that the deep ones. Lucas started to lift
his head to get a better look when his head felt like it
was going to explode. He almost passed out, but still
noticed something on his nightstand. The note read 5
pm. Lucas didn't know what it meant, but didn't have the
chance to figure it out because he blacked out. Around
4:30, his father awoke him. Lucas looked
up and, still in pain, tried to move away from his
father. Lawrence held up an extension cord.
"Pl-lease, dad...don't"
"You ran, Lucas. You don't ever run from me. If you
ever run from me again, I will kill you."
"I'm sorry...Please don't."
"I know you're sorry, you're always sorry! I am going
to make sure you learn never to run from me again."
"I won't! I swear I will never.." but Lucas never got a
chance to finish his sentence as the cord hit Lucas
legs. Lucas gave out a small cry as his father
repeated his action.
"Promises, promises you never keep. You never learn,
do you?. I think I must beat it into you until I am
sure you know never to run from me again…"
********
Lucas sat in the bathroom as tears ran down his hot
cheeks. He remembered that the beating didn't stop
there. There were two weeks of beatings until his father
was satisfied he'd learned his lesson. Lucas never ran
from his father after that, well, until now. Now he'd
disobeyed his father, and he was warned that, this time,
Lucas would pay with his life. He began to cry harder,
but silently. He didn't want anyone to know. He
thought he should tell the captain about his father. But
Lucas quickly shot that idea down. 'Oh yeah, the
captain is going to think you're a freak and might
send you back home. Why would he want me around after
I tell him? He probably already hates me for being a
murderer, why not add to the list.' Lucas thought and
began to cry harder. He was truly alone. He got up
from the toilet and tried to wipe his tears away. It was no
use, they kept on falling. Lucas couldn't let the
captain or the doctor see him crying, 'it wound bring
more questions' Lucas thought. An idea popped in his
head, they wouldn't question him if he fell. Lucas
slowly sat himself on the floor and spotted an empty
bedpan. He got the pan and slammed in on the ground.
Nathan and Kristen began fixing Lucas' bed. They were
both shocked that Lawrence was there and more shocked
by his actions. They were silently contemplating everything
when they heard a loud crash. Nathan ran to
Lucas' restroom and opened the door. Kristen was not
too far behind. Nathan found Lucas on the floor
crying.
"Lucas, are you all right?"
"No…I fell..I hit my leg, it hurts." Lucas was still
crying but he was sure that the captain thought he was
crying because of the pain in his leg.
"It is okay, Lucas. Let me help you up." Nathan bent
down and help Lucas up and in the wheelchair. As
Nathan wheeled him out of the restroom, Kristen
insisted to examine his leg. Lucas agreed and grunted
whenever Kristen touched his casted leg. Kristen
found nothing wrong and asked Nathan to lay him on the
bed. He did and she began to examine his ribs. They
were okay and she was relieved that nothing was wrong with
Lucas.
"Well, nothing seems wrong with you. Everything okay?"
Kristen asked
"Yeah. Just tired…" a soft knock interrupted Lucas.
It was Alex with the antibiotics.
"Well, Kid, lets get you hooked up." Alex turned to see
the captain and Kristen. "And, you two, I'm sorry
but visiting hours are over and I have to ask for you
to leave."
"We're sorry, nurse, what time is it?"
"Past nine. I let you stay a little past the limit but I was
caught by my supervisor and he wants you two to leave."
"Thank you, Alex." Kristen patted the nurse shoulders.
"Yes, thank you. Let's go, Kristen. Lucas, see you
tomorrow. Goodnight, kiddo."
"Goodnight, Captain, Dr. Westphalen," Lucas said as
they went out the door.
--
Just outside the Lucas' room, Nathan couldn't hold his
anger inside anymore. He made sure he was far enough
so that the boy wouldn't hear him, and then exploded.
"I can't believe what Dr. Wolenczak wanted to do! He
doesn't care for Lucas! He..," he looked around and
found some of the staff looking at him.
"Nathan, calm down. Please, you might blow a vein.
Look, I know what he wants to do was very wrong but
we can't stop it. Lawrence is his father and we can't
do anything."
"That is what you think. The first thing I am going
to do is call Bill."
"What's he going to do."
"I don't know. I've never dealt with anything like this,
but I'm not letting Lucas leave this hospital with
Lawrence. Lucas could fall like he did right now and
Lawrence wouldn't even know it. He could brake
another bone and bleed to death and Lawrence would be
too busy in a meeting!"
--
Well, kid, your all drugged up. Goodnight, Lucas." Alex
said as he finished the IV.
Lucas turned and said goodnight to the nurse. When the
nurse was out of sight, Lucas leaned over and unhooked
the IV line of the antibiotics. He thought that the fever
was the only thing keeping him in the hospital. But that
was not a sure escape route. His father has connections,
he could order the hospital to hand Lucas over or even
get the staff fired or something. There was no escape
for Lucas. He sat up and began to cry again. It
was pointless; he was going to die tomorrow. He was
sure his father would get him and it won't take long
for his father to begin the torture. The torture that
would eventually kill him.
He kept thought for hours, that passed like minutes.
Lucas was then thinking of Jesse. He was thinking of his
huge smile and his serious problem with Jell-o. Lucas couldn't
help but laugh when he remembered Jesse. But that came
crashing down, too. Lucas began to think that Jesse would
still be smiling if it weren't for him. He was a cold-blooded
murderer! Lucas couldn't stand sitting in bed and
letting his fevered mind think anymore. All he wanted
was to end it all.
He grabbed hold of the near-by wheelchair and
lowered himself into it. Ripping the IV tubes from his arm, he
waited for it to stop bleeding and, then, wheeled himself
out of the room, making sure that he wasn't followed.
Lucas accidentally passed Jesse's room and couldn't help but
look inside. Everything was gone. There were no pictures on
the table. No clippings on the walls. No trash can full
of Jell-O packages. Just like that, everything was
gone. He was now more determine to end it all.
Lucas couldn't understand why life had been against
him from the start. The only way to save himself from
all the pain was to end it all himself. 'But how?' Lucas
thought. He considered many possibilities until one made
sense. He knew it would work. Lucas wheeled himself to
the elevator. He looked for the roof button but there was
none. It was only a two-story building. Lucas then
turned to the stairs. He opened the door and saw the
arrow labeled "Roof" pointing up the stairs. 'Oh boy,
thanks for making this hard' He spoke to the listener
from above and took in a deep breath as he stood up
from the chair. Leaving the chair outside the door, he
began to climb the stairs. By the third step, his
leg was beginning to throb. The pain was severe, but he
couldn't give up. Halfway there, he started thinking. On
reaching the door labeled roof, he quickly re-thought his
actions. He was sure he wanted to do this. The fever
inhibited his weary common sense, and Lucas couldn't
think of a reason not to go through with it.
He opened the door, feeling the cold air of the night
refreshing. Walking toward the edge of the building,
Lucas silently began to pray. He hoped that everyone
could forgive him for everything, for the stunt he
was about to pull, for screwing up so many times, for
killing Jesse… Nearing the edge, Lucas began to
cry.
"This is my only way out. This! It is not fair!"
Lucas began to shout at the listener above. "Why?
Huh? Answer me! Why? If you are so mighty, why did
you let this happen to me!!! I wish I was never born.
I've wish it so hard everyday of my life, and what have you
done? Nothing. Like always, I turned to you for help
and nothing. That is what you are nothing!!!." Lucas
looked down at the night street and spoke again to the
listener. "This is the only way, huh? Well…" Lucas
closed his eyes and was about ready to jump when a
noise from behind made him jump.
"Who's there?" Lucas turned around, but saw no one. He
turned back around and nearly had a heart attack as he
saw someone sitting on the ledge right in front of
him. He started to walk backwards upon seeing what
was right in front of him.
"No…no, it can't be…you're not real…I mean…no.."
"That is half true, Lucas. I am somewhat real. Not
like you're real, but I am really here and really talking
to you! Really, Lucas! Real, real, real!!!"
"No..I kil…your dead…" Lucas began to wipe his eyes to
make sure what he was seeing was true. "I know, it is
the fever, yeah… I'm just imagining you.."
"Yeah right, next thing you are going to tell me that
the Marlins beat my Yankees. By the way Lucas, the
Marlins lost to the Yankees, didn't they?!"
"It can't be.. Jesse, your dead!"
"Why do you have to tell me that, a 'nice to see you
again' would be nicer, Lucas." Jesse replied.
"I don't… there is no such thing as…ghosts"
"Ouch! Well, believe it!"
"Well, thanks for solving a mystery for me before I
die. See you later, Jesse." Lucas started to walk to
the edge, but Jesse stood in front of him.
"Wait a minute, Lucas. Why are you doing this?"
"It is the only way!"
"No, it is not. Why don't you trust the captain or the
doctor about your dad?"
"How did you know?" Jesse pointed to the sky above. "Fine
you know. If they ever knew, they would hate me and
send me away! Please, let me finish this!"
"Why do you think that? I am sure that the captain would
only want to help you out if you told him!"
"You are not going to change my mind. It's all made
up, I want it to be this way. Better be my hand than my
father's!"
"But why?!"
"I just told you, it is the only way. Now if you don't
mind."
"Wait… okay, fine. You still blame yourself for me
dying, well make it up to me!"
"What?"
"Why do you think I am here? The big guy wants to
grant you your wish."
"What?"
"Hello... 'I wish I was never born'. Please, let me
show you what the world would be like. You think
one-person can't change the world; believe me Lucas,
one-person can. Please, let me show you!"
"I.."
"You owe me that much!"
Lucas couldn't answer; he walked to the edge again and
began to argue inside his brain. He still wanted to
jump. He still wished he was never born. He knew
he owed Jesse, for pete's sake, Lucas killed him. He
was about to tell Jesse to do it when Jesse
started to walk towards him.
"Good!" Jesse said and pushed Lucas off the building.
Lucas began to scream, readying for the impact with
the ground. His last thoughts were of Darwin and the
Captain when he hit. He screamed so loud he thought
he'd made himself deaf, but then noticed he was laying
in a grassy field. Lucas got up and saw that he was still
in the hospital gown, but his leg was mysteriously healed.
He jumped when he felt someone tugging on his gown.
Jesse was dressed in overalls and stood in front of Lucas.
"All right, Lucas, let the tour began"
