TITLE: Addiction

AUTHOR: Drusilla

CLASSIFICATION: Poetry, Buffy's POV

PAIRING: Buffy/Spike in body, all alone in heart

DISCLAIMER: Not mine.

DISTRIBUTION: Want. Take. Have. (As long as you let me know where it's going and credit me, of course.)

SUMMARY: "Tell me you love me and I'll flee/ but hurt me,/ just a little more, /just a little harder, /And maybe I'll stay the night,/ and swim with you/ In your sea of silk/ In your pool of exhausted desperation."



ADDICTION

* * *


Your eyes, cold gems of blue azure,
restless, unadultered, unmarred.
Lay here with me, dearest,
In this barren grave
And let the walls tumble before you,
cascading falls of earth and death.

I try to scream
But my throat falls short,
my spirit is empty.

I wonder, sometimes,
whether it is I who is dead,
who is in the darkness,
where my nails carve into the night
talons raking the blackness.

The world is meaningless now
my consciousness oblivious
to all that encases me
Darkness unfolding,
it clings to me, needs me,
and finds me wanting.

Tell me you love me and I'll flee
but hurt me,
just a little more,
just a little harder,
And maybe I'll stay the night,
and swim with you
In your sea of silk
In your pool of exhausted desperation.

Your cold fingers,
smooth, fine flesh,
all too painful, all too fresh
But this is what I need
This bleeding
This urge
is what keeps my mind alive
and pushes away
any flicker of remembrance.

I hate you but
something so trivial
has no place in our hearts;
I am lost, but when I am with you
my body believes I am found.

There is no comfort in stone walls,
in candle-lit crypts,
But when your mouth finds mine,
I know, atleast,
that everything is black.

This is not love, and this is not affection.
This is killing each other with gentle touch,
peeling away everything left of our shadowed pasts.

And I know that when I'm with you
There is no reason,
There is no reality.

I know
It isn't fair, it isn't right
that I use you and your body,
but it doesn't matter, and
sometimes
you just can't care about anyone else.
Because to forget is rare,
and I'll take anything I can get.


* * *
(end)

* * *