What the f**k is "lol"?
Narrator: Cloud (our hero) had developed an unlikely habit…for someone like him. He had become infatuated with the Internet. After defeating Septhiroth the gang decided to retire to a small cottage in the mountains…they wish. No, they were living in a low rent, REALLY small, smelly, apartment building. If you want to know what I meant by smelly, whenever someone walked through the door into their apartment it smelled like someone just took a shit on the floor. Most of the time Red was accused for the smell. So, back to the story… Cloud had spent many hours each day working for "ShinRa burgers", flipping hamburger patties and dealing with asshole customers. Usually, this is how the conversations with the at pissed off customers went:
Customer: I don't need any shit from you! I want a damn hamburger!
Cloud: Yes, I understand that sir. But we have numbers. Do you want number 1, 2…
Customer: HAMBURGER!
Cloud: 3, 4…
Customer: DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
Cloud: 5, 6…
Customer: H-A-M-B-U-R-G-E-R
Cloud: 7, 8…
Customer behind pissed off customer: Can we move the line along please?
After that the pissed off customer would proceed to rip the other's head off…well it gets very complicated. Here's another interaction with customers that Cloud has to deal with: The customer with a 3-year-old kid
Mom: Okay, hi. Umm… we would like the number 4.
Cloud: Number 4 comin…
Kid: NO!
Mom: Well what DO you want dear?
Kid: NO!
Mom: Honey you have to tell me what you want to eat.
Kid: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Cloud: Would you like a Happy sack?
Kid: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Runs around fast food place, kicking, screaming and throwing things about.
Mom: No honey don't do…no honey…stop dear…
And last but certainly not least, the customer talking on the cell phone.
Customer: Talks on his phone for about 15 minutes.
Cloud: May I take you're order?
Customer: (On the cell phone) Yeah, better get those things in by Tuesday…no make that Monday.
Cloud: Sir, may I take you're order please?
Customer: Holds up hand in Cloud's face and continues talking on cell phone what are you talking about? The printer isn't busted I checked it… Talks louder I SAID I CHECKED IT YESTERDAY. YEAH, TELL BETTY I'LL BE THERE TOMMORROW.
Cloud: Sir, there are other people waiting.
Customer: Flips Cloud off JUST TELL HER TO GET THEM ON MY DESK… AND, I HAVE THAT OPERATION ON FRIDAY SO HOLD ALL OF MY APPOINTMENTS. YOU REMEMBER THE OPERATION? THE ONE WHERE I'M GOING TO GET MY TESTICLES LAMINATED?
Cloud: after waking up from the shock of the customer's operation he grabs phone from him Yeah hi, we have other people waiting in line and this ASSHOLE here keeps talking to you so, yeah, so SHUT THE FUCK UP. Okay? Hangs up
Narrator: I would think you would need something to console you after about 18 hours of that. So that's why Cloud bought a computer…now here is where our story begins…
Author: Umm, we're gonna do that in the next chapter.
Narrator: What? SHIT! I was all worked up for this shit…
Author: Sorry man. Next Chapter: Cloud's computer
Narrator: I'm supposed to say that!
Author: Pussy…
Narrator: Cloud (our hero) had developed an unlikely habit…for someone like him. He had become infatuated with the Internet. After defeating Septhiroth the gang decided to retire to a small cottage in the mountains…they wish. No, they were living in a low rent, REALLY small, smelly, apartment building. If you want to know what I meant by smelly, whenever someone walked through the door into their apartment it smelled like someone just took a shit on the floor. Most of the time Red was accused for the smell. So, back to the story… Cloud had spent many hours each day working for "ShinRa burgers", flipping hamburger patties and dealing with asshole customers. Usually, this is how the conversations with the at pissed off customers went:
Customer: I don't need any shit from you! I want a damn hamburger!
Cloud: Yes, I understand that sir. But we have numbers. Do you want number 1, 2…
Customer: HAMBURGER!
Cloud: 3, 4…
Customer: DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?
Cloud: 5, 6…
Customer: H-A-M-B-U-R-G-E-R
Cloud: 7, 8…
Customer behind pissed off customer: Can we move the line along please?
After that the pissed off customer would proceed to rip the other's head off…well it gets very complicated. Here's another interaction with customers that Cloud has to deal with: The customer with a 3-year-old kid
Mom: Okay, hi. Umm… we would like the number 4.
Cloud: Number 4 comin…
Kid: NO!
Mom: Well what DO you want dear?
Kid: NO!
Mom: Honey you have to tell me what you want to eat.
Kid: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Cloud: Would you like a Happy sack?
Kid: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Runs around fast food place, kicking, screaming and throwing things about.
Mom: No honey don't do…no honey…stop dear…
And last but certainly not least, the customer talking on the cell phone.
Customer: Talks on his phone for about 15 minutes.
Cloud: May I take you're order?
Customer: (On the cell phone) Yeah, better get those things in by Tuesday…no make that Monday.
Cloud: Sir, may I take you're order please?
Customer: Holds up hand in Cloud's face and continues talking on cell phone what are you talking about? The printer isn't busted I checked it… Talks louder I SAID I CHECKED IT YESTERDAY. YEAH, TELL BETTY I'LL BE THERE TOMMORROW.
Cloud: Sir, there are other people waiting.
Customer: Flips Cloud off JUST TELL HER TO GET THEM ON MY DESK… AND, I HAVE THAT OPERATION ON FRIDAY SO HOLD ALL OF MY APPOINTMENTS. YOU REMEMBER THE OPERATION? THE ONE WHERE I'M GOING TO GET MY TESTICLES LAMINATED?
Cloud: after waking up from the shock of the customer's operation he grabs phone from him Yeah hi, we have other people waiting in line and this ASSHOLE here keeps talking to you so, yeah, so SHUT THE FUCK UP. Okay? Hangs up
Narrator: I would think you would need something to console you after about 18 hours of that. So that's why Cloud bought a computer…now here is where our story begins…
Author: Umm, we're gonna do that in the next chapter.
Narrator: What? SHIT! I was all worked up for this shit…
Author: Sorry man. Next Chapter: Cloud's computer
Narrator: I'm supposed to say that!
Author: Pussy…
