I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
by NightsDawne


Chapter 3: Lost in This Moment

Quistis leaned over the balcony, watching the waves lap at the softly glowing base of the Garden. His fingertips touched hers as he leaned next to her and she felt a warm tingle pass over her skin, not pulling her hand back as she usually would have. She looked up at him slowly, the moonlight casting soft silver shadows across his delicately masculine features. "You're quiet tonight."

"Kinda hard ta think of anything ta say that wouldn't send ya runnin'." Irvine looked away, running a finger under his collar.

"Where would I run to?" Quistis tilted her head. He's not used to wearing shirts, she thought. I'm not used to him like this, either.

"Sure you'd find someplace." He smiled softly, looking back at her again.

"I'm still here, Irvine." She slid her fingers closer to his, letting them slide across his knuckles. Irvine looked down at their hands, turning his over slowly, then lifting her hand to his lips, his kiss only a soft whisper. Her shoulders trembled slightly. "You're so full of suprises. What else don't I know about you?"

He smiled softly, his eyes twinkling for a brief moment, full of secrets. "What do you wanna know? Ain't like ya ever asked before."

Quistis bit her lip. She hadn't, had she. None of them had. Irvine had just been Irvine. Up until quite recently she'd just assumed she had him figured out, a shallow and arrogant boy with one goal in life, to be the ultimate ladies' man. Then she had seen him angry, a fire of pain and passion in his eyes. Seen him bring Seifer back to them as if he always belonged there. Seen him bleeding, haunted agony in his eyes at the thought that his friends could be in danger. "You were a figure skater at Galbadia Garden. What else did you do?" It seemed a shallow question, but she was afraid to explore too deeply too quickly.

Irvine shrugged lightly. "I was Martine's errand boy. Took messages back and forth 'tween him and Rinoa's dad. Played guitar some, not the best. Wrote songs. Spent the rest of my time on the rifle range or on the ice.. and.."

Quistis nodded, pursing her lips slightly. "I know about that part."

"Yeah." He looked down, almost seeming ashamed of his past. He'd always acted so proud of it before, his badge of manhood, that he could get a woman in bed with just a smile and a well-placed line. Quistis touched his arm and he lifted his gaze to hers. "Guess I ain't so excitin' as my reputation makes me out, huh?"

"You're an exceptional combatant, an athlete, an accomplished dancer." She cringed inwardly. Why did she still sound like his instructor, giving him a critique?

"A SeeD, too, forgot that one." He turned back to the moonlight. "Don't stand out that much here. All of you are all of those things."

Quistis shook her head. "We all are different. We all bring something special. You're... you're our anchor, Irvine, our heart. You were right when you told me that you held us together. You got Squall to express himself, you told us who we were, you even made Seifer.. belong." She bit her lip again, wishing she could say it better, but when she looked to Irvine he was smiling.

"You really think that about me?"

"I do. You've got a gift for bringing people together, for making them think about more than themselves. I'm sorry we took you for granted."

"We?" His eyes were shining a bit.

"..I. I took you for granted, Irvine. I didn't realize until you left how much of a void you filled."

"I won't leave again. I'm sorry." He swallowed, looking away, that pain returning. She wanted to erase it, to comfort him with words like those he had used all those times when they were fighting the sorceress and each other, his soft insistances that would bring them together again, ease their personal issues with each other. She laid her hand on his back softly.

"Why did you go? It wasn't Zell, was it?"

He didn't answer for a moment, then shook his head slowly, his jaw tightening with some inner turmoil. "Nah. Wasn't the first time I've been decked by a guy for talkin' to the wrong girl."

"Was it me?" Quistis closed her eyes, not wanting to see a flash of pain that would tell her it was.

"No." She opened her eyes to see his head lowered, his hand against his cheek trying to hide brushing away a tear.

She laid her cheek against his arm. "Tell me, Irvine. I won't tell anyone else."

"Did your adopted parents love you?"

Quistis drew her head back, surprised by the question. Irvine had never been adopted, so how could it have anything to do with that? "My mother did, I think. My father..."

"Your father..?"

Quistis turned away, hugging her arms to her chest, not wanting to remember, wishing the memories were as fogged as those of the orphanage. "My father was... abusive." She could feel his eyes on her. "I came to the Garden to get away from him."

"He hit you?"

Quistis closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head. Why? Why could Irvine get her to talk about something she never talked about to anyone? Is this how it was with Squall, that he simply couldn't hide things from the rifleman who could make someone feel so safe revealing themselves to him? She felt his arms encircle her gently, pulling her to him, and didn't resist, falling against his chest and letting tears buried for years spill from her, the storm behind her eternal calm. Her shaking fingers curled around the stiff fabric of his jacket as he rubbed her back comfortingly. "I'm sorry, Quisty," he whispered against her hair. "I'd never let him hurt you again." She believed him without needing to analyze why, just knowing she could trust Irvine, that she was safe. She'd learned to protect herself, had forgotten she needed to be protected until it was offered so openly. The fear she'd held herself prisoner to fell from her shoulders like dead weight, leaving her floating in Irvine's secure embrace. It seemed hours that she sobbed against him, but his arms never left her, he never turned away as Squall had, not even knowing her pain but unable to open up to her, return her longing for love. When her tears were exhausted she looked up at him, wanting to thank him for just being there. The tears on his own cheeks tightened her throat.

"If I had a hankie I'd loan it to ya." His voice was soft but with an edge of hoarseness as he wiped her cheeks softly with his fingertips.

"I must look awful." She smiled a touch, returning the favor with her own trembling hands.

He shook his head. "Just as beautiful as always. More."

"How do you do it, Irvine?"

He looked at her questioningly. "Do what?"

"Make someone just open themselves to you. Make someone feel cared about?"

Irvine kissed her hair. "I do care, Quisty. Care so much it hurts. I've cared about you since the moment I saw ya in front of Galbadia Garden. Took me this long ta work up the courage ta be this close to ya, so it ain't like I'm that good at it."

"I must have been blind. I thought you just wanted another notch in your rifle butt." She swallowed, fear suddenly hitting her. "That's.. that's not what you want, is it?"

Irvine shook his head quickly, a flash of pain in his eyes. "No, Quisty. I could never do that to ya. I love you." The color drained from his face as he looked away. She could feel his heart beating. She laid her cheek against it, realizing that he'd never meant to say it, that it scared him, but she felt suddenly peaceful, comforted even more than before. She didn't bother to think about it, stopped herself from her habit of examining everything. She couldn't destroy the magic of this moment.

"I love you, too, Irvine. I love you."

I could stay lost in this moment forever
Where every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure