chapter 2

In My Mind - An Empty Void



disclaimer: I don't own anything from Gundam Wing or its creators. I am simply borrowing their characters to produce what I hope to be, a good fanfic. Please don't sue me!!!



A.N. - so, how did you like the prologue? Iffy? The story will reveal itself the more you read. But trust me, it won't take forever to complete. I promised myself that this would be one of my rare completed fics.



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She felt someone following her. In the shadows of clear daylight, she could feel eyes boring into her pale skin, and she could imagine them, sneering at this 'spoiled Princess'. Disgusted, she let out a light snort and kept walking, imagining eyes in the back of her head were keeping her safe.



Day suddenly turned to night and it became harshly cold. Breaking out of her walk, she started into a light jog and that burning sensation still remained in the back of her mind as she ran. Keeping on path, she ran for what seemed like days, turned out to be mere seconds as she realized that this was a dream.



Relena sat up in bed, a sheer blanket of perspiration stood out on her face and neck. Breathing heavily, she shook her head and got out of bed to get something to drink. Passing a digital clock, its bright red numbers glared an angry 'three AM'. Groaning softly, she let bare feet navigate from carpet to cold tile and move towards the fridge.



'I need something... milk. That should be good,' she thought as she pulled out the carton of milk.



Normally she wouldn't consume such a drink at this hour, but water didn't seem to cut it for her at this moment. She still has this lingering feeling from that weird dream. Something was holding her back, but from what?



Soon afterwards, she finished her drink and proceeded to the washroom to rinse her mouth our before going back to bed. Looking into the bathroom mirror, she saw how three days of insomnia wore away at her usually delicate features. Dark circles were clearly definite beneath her otherwise sparkling aqua eyes, and she hadn't smiled in days. To top that, she had been experiencing awful migraines, where sometimes the pain made her wish she had taken Heero's offer of shooting her those many years ago.



Shutting the light off, she dragged tired feet to her bed and let sleep take over once more.



Elsewhere



Heero tossed restlessly. He had always been a light sleeper, but this was ridiculous. He could hear a conversation between two lovers, he supposed. But they were on the sidewalk, whispering harsh words to each other, and here he was lying in bed on the twenty-fifth floor of the apartment building.



He knew it was the couple outside that were talking because he had pulled himself out of bed at an ungodly hour to see what the ruckus was. Drawing back the curtains, harsh moonlight met his eyes and he looked down to see wile gesturing hands and even a slap from the girl.



Softly growling, he walked back to his now cold bed and sat upon the sheets and comforter with his head in his hands. He had seen her last night. How much she cried, how he ached to be with her. Wishing he hadn't made things so complicated, he turned from her window and ran. This wasn't right. The empty void where his beating heart used to be, that gaping hole in his being where he felt he shared a soul with her. He lost her and every part of him with it.



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She was dreaming again. Somewhere, this place was familiar.



'I know this place. I've been here before, but why can't I remember?' she thought to herself.



Then it came to her, so amazingly fast that she had to squeeze her eyes shut. The memories of a time so long ago, it was almost alien to her. This was the same shuttle bay where Heero left Peacemillion and her with it. She remembered the space suits and the anticipation she felt when she thought he would allow her to go with him. But he did something even better. Heero let her know that he truly cared for her, and although he didn't speak it, his eyes said it loud and clear.



Tears began to form in her reverie and even in reality. As she lay there in her bed dreaming, tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. Flashes of light began resonating all around her and she knew that her dream had put itself into fast-forward. Closing her eyes, she heard voices and saw bright lights despite her shut eyes. Voices, fragments of conversations from the past.



"Omae o korosu..."



"Next time give it to me in person..."



Memories, voices flooded her senses, mind nearing overload, going faster, fast-forward from the past until she felt nauseous.



And then it was like someone hit the play button on the remote control.



"Heero, be careful. I, I need you to come back to me..."



Taking her trembling hands between his, he moved forwards until their noses were millimeters apart and spoke:



"I will always come back to you. No matter where I am, no matter how far, I'll always find my way back to you. Relena, you're my north star. I will always turn to you to find my way back," he said, as she began to weep softly.



Pulling her into his arms, he rocked her back and forth, hoping to soothe her tears and the throbbing ache that would soon befall her.



She sniffled and wiped her eyes as he slowly let her go. Voice no louder than a whisper, he left her with the only remaining words she could remember him say, the only important phrase he ever got close to.



"I care about you, and always will,"



Relena clasped a hand tightly over her mouth, praying to muffle out her sobs as the shuttle took off. Hair whipping about her, she sank to the ground and cried. He was so close to saying it, yet in some ways, he was so far from loving her.



The dream ended, leaving her breathless and teary. Gasping, she sat up in bed once again, but this time, she clutched her bent knees and just sat there in her bed, rocking back and forth, occasionally wiping tears from her face. Looking upwards, she closed her eyes and prayed, her last hope of getting him back.



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A.N. - ::hides:: how was this chapter??? I aimed for sap, but I could have overdone it... Oh well. Please review and let me know if this story is worth keeping up. Isn't Heero just such a sweetie in this fic? Man, I'd kill for a guy to tell me that. Haha, anyways, isn't it odd how at 2AM you're more alert and hyper than ever? Still, please be kind and review. Thanks! ^_^