Accessories

Blair Sandburg held on for dear life as Jim pulled another tight corner at 70 mph in midday traffic. They had gotten the call on the wire about a chase for a suspect as the brown Dodge went whizzing by. Jim had decided to join in the chase.

Blair closed his eyes as they jumped onto the sidewalk nearly running over a few pedestrians. This was really getting old. Someone needed to post a warning on Jim's truck: Warning! Dangerous to pedestrians!

***

"Jim, that was insane! You almost killed seven people!"

"Seven?! There weren't seven people and I didn't almost kill anybody."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really. You need a warning attached to you. Beware of entry to this vehicle. You could find yourself in the middle of a high speed chase!"

"Quit being melodramatic, Chief. Everything was fine."

Blair grunted his response and slipped into his green Volvo. He had a few errands to run before he was supposed to join up with Jim at the station to discuss one of their cases.

An hour later, Blair was walking down the aisle of a card shop, trying to find something to send to his cousin for his birthday when a bumper sticker caught his eye. An evil glint entered his eye as a plan started to form in his mind.

***

"Hey, Jim! I found the perfect thing for the truck! Everyone, gather round. You're gonna love this."

Jim glanced at his partner warily before closing the folder he had been looking through. When Blair suddenly came in the station bearing gifts with a greeting like that, it was never a good thing. He stood up cautiously as Blair approached his desk.

"What do you have, Chief?"

"Just open it! You'll love it."

Jim sighed and reluctantly accepted the brightly wrapped package. He gave his partner a questioning glance as he examined it with his senses. The package was about a foot wide, two feet long and half a foot deep. He could only imagine what his partner had found this time.

He carefully unfolded the wrapping paper and opened the box that he found inside only to come up against more tissue paper. Inside that he found a smaller box and a thin paper about the shape of a bumper sticker wrapped in tissue paper.

"What is this, Chief?"

"Just open it. It's not that bad. I promise." The accompanying grin did nothing to allay his worry.

He decided to open the box first and found a set of fuzzy dice in it.

"Very funny, Chief. Did you have to go through all of that for fuzzy dice?"

"That's not the best part! Open the other thing."

Jim picked up the 'bumper sticker' and examined it. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Jim! It's not gonna bite!"

At his partner's insistence, he tore off the tissue paper. Inside was a bumper sticker, as he had suspected. The message, however, was not.

If you don't like the way I drive

Then get off the sidewalk!

When the rest of Major Crimes saw what it said, the whole room burst out laughing. They all patted Sandburg on the back, telling him he was a genius. Even Simon got a chuckle out of it.

When Ellison exploded with a furious "Sandburg!" and Blair took off running followed closely by a not so pleased Sentinel, half of the Bull Pen was on their backs with tears in their eyes.