an: wai wai, I've been locked out of ffnet for a while. Plus an added BOW (block of writer's) has set this chapter back from when I would have liked to have it done. So sorry for the wait.
Chapter Four: Of Sidewalk Squabbles and Doorstep Dreams
Pan lightly traced her fingers along the wings of the small figurine that had been dropped off at her door the other day. Its wings were made of a wire frame and a transparent silk was draped over them while the rest of the form was made of glass. She glanced over at her typewriter. She had been writing all morning. Inspiration had flooded to her from that one little gift she got yesterday. Now she really wished that the person had left a name, that way she could thank him everyday. The little angel had given back her writing that had seemed to be locked up for such a long time. She had already typed 20 pages of work, and her fingers were tired, so she made up her mind to hit the streets for a little walk.
Pan stood in her washroom, giving her hair a brush. It was much easier to handle when short but sometimes Pan missed having it trail down her back, being able to style it in so many ways... having Trunks run his finger through it. Although her hair was short, it wasn't the way she had it as a small child, but from what she had seen in the old photo albums; it was actually more like Bulma's hair when the first sayian, Raditz, had come to earth. But that was over 40 years ago. She finished with her hair and checked her outfit. Today she wore baggy red overalls and a black turtle neck.
"Guess I can't get rid of black and red." She said to her reflection with a smile. She chose the overalls since she was in such a cheery mood, and the child-like clothing reflected it. She shoved her keys in her pocket, and locked the door, heading out into the sunny spring morning intending to throughly enjoy the rest of her day outside.
***
"Pan, you look in happy mood today." Marron commented on, taking a break from serving coffee to chat a bit with her friend. Marron was beginning to wonder what was up with Pan since she hadn't seen her since she left last time a bit upset, but she had waltzed in there all smiles and Marron couldn't help but wonder what was up.
"Thanks, I am." Pan said, smiling from ear to ear. Marron raised an eyebrow.
"Oh? Why don't you tell me."
"Well, you know how I was facing such a major writer's block?" Pan paused waiting for Marron to answer, which she did with a nod. "Well, today it was gone. Completely. I got so much work done, its just made me real happy."
"Pan that's great!" Marron exclaimed, all too happy for her friend. "How did you overcome it?"
"Oh, now this is the strange thing. Yesterday I found this gift on my doorstep."
"Well, that's not strange. You get things like that all the time don't you?"
"Well, ya, but this one was different. First off, I recognize the wrapping paper, although I can't remember where I've seen it from before. Anyway, it came with this little poem thing about forgiveness and a little angel figurine, which was gorgeous, and... well I guess it just really touched me."
"I see." Marron said with a grin. *Way to go Trunks. I knew it would get her.*
"Ya, so I put the angel by my desk, and the ideas just flowed."
"Uh huh. Did this card have a name?"
"No, unfortunately, it's a mystery."
"Oh. Well, maybe you'll get more clues later on. I have to get back to work. Great talking to you again, do you want anything?"
"What? Oh, no thanks. I'll just be on my way."
"Alright, good bye Pan." Marron said giving her friend and light hug before returning to her work. Pan straightened her overalls and headed towards the door.
*Today is such a good day. Nothing can ruin it.* Pan thought with a grin, opening the door and stepping out, when she walked right into a customer trying to step in.
"Oh, sorry sir." Pan muttered unaffected and not looking at who she had bumped into.
"We just keep running into each other, don't we Panny?" The man asked. Pan knew that voice well and looked up in dread.
"Hello Trunks." Pan said quietly and dodged under his arms, beginning to walk away, however Trunks dashed ahead of her, blocking her escape.
"Why do you keep running away from me? Don't you think you owe me an explanation?"
"Trunks, I don't want to talk about it."
"You don't want to talk about it." He said as if tossing the statement around. "Well, you better talk about it, because I want an explanation on why you up'd and left Pan."
"It wasn't working out."
"What wasn't working out? We were doing fine, no - great!" He looked down, and spoke more quietly. "Pan, what went wrong? Please tell me."
"I just don't feel for you in that way anymore."
"Don't give me that, how can you..."
"In fact I barely see you as a friend!" She shouted, her fears returning when she was around him.
"Then why'd you use the names? Why?"
"I... I don't know what you're talking about."
"The novel. Add P, S, and a T and flip 'em. Trunks and Panny." Trunks said in a cold voice. Immense fear shot through Pan's spine and her knees seemed to be losing their strength. How did he know? "Pan, please don't..."
"I hate you Trunks. And I'll hate you for the rest of my life!" She screamed before running away. Once again, avoiding the problem and running from her fears instead of facing them.
***
Pan slammed the door closed and ran into her living room where she collapsed onto the sofa. She clenched up her fists, and wound them tightly around the pillows.
"I hate that man. I hate him with a passion!" She yelled to herself, bitter unchecked tears streaming down her flushed cheeks. She curled her body up tightly as if trying to escape the tortures of her life, and wept. Each sob racked her body with such force that it felt like she was tearing her own body apart. Pan hadn't cried like this for a very long time if ever.
***
He walked up to her apartment, full of smiles, and ran a hand through his hair just to make sure it was in place. He was about to knock on the door to summon Pan out, but his attention was drawn to the floor. He looked down, and sitting right by the door was a package tied up in silver wrappings.
"My little Pan is always getting fan gifts." He said aloud but to himself. He bent down and picked it up so that he could deliver it to her. With the parcel safely latched underneath his arms, Zachary reached a hand up and was about to knock on the door when he heard it. Pan was crying. He was sure of it. The strong-willed, stubborn Pan was actually crying. Not bothering to knock, he opened the door, relieved to find it unlocked and dashed inside. He listened carefully and followed the sobs into the living room where he found Pan curled up crying. He placed the gift on the table before pulling he up into a hug.
"Trunks?" He heard her whisper with a sort of lisp due to her crying.
"I think you're out of it." He whispered softly. "It's me, Zach..." He said soothingly, stroking her hair. "Pan, what happened?" Pan pulled away from him and looked into his face.
"Zach? What are you doing here?" She asked, quickly whipping her eyes.
"Aren't I allowed to visit you? Your door was unlocked and I heard you crying. What's wrong?"
"None of your business, go away." She said coldly, turning away from him. Zach was upset at her tone and a little angry, but in fear of saying something regretful in her emotional state, he kept quiet.
*Now look what I've done... Zach is just trying to help me. This is all Trunks' fault... no. No - it's my fault. All of it. Everything is my fault...*
"Zach, I'm really sorry for biting your head off there. I'm just really... stressed."
"Pan, people don't break down like that when they're stressed." He said, stroking her arm a bit. "If you don't want to talk about, you don't have to." He said with a smile, before turning her face towards his own. He tilted her chin back and leaned in towards her slowly, giving her the chance to back away if she wanted to. Seeing as she was not, he quickened his pace and met her lips with his own. The kiss was quick and to the point. Pan and Zach were dating, so it's natural for them to be kissing, but it made Pan feel guilty inside.
Zach stood up quickly adding, "Just don't let it affect your writing." to his earlier statement of 'not talking about it'. He picked up the package he left on the table and dropped it in her lap. "From a fan." He simply said before walking out of the apartment, closing the door behind him, and leaving Pan all alone.
*It was more like he didn't want to talk about my problems. Trunks would have stayed. He would have pounded my worries out of me. What have I done?*
Pan felt more hot tears filling up in her eyes, but angrily brushed them away. She would not cry over him. Wether this 'him' was Trunks or Zach, she didn't know yet. She looked down at the package that Zach had dropped in her lap and smiled. It was the same silver wrapping paper from before which meant it was most likely from the same fan.
"I've seen this wrapping paper before. I know I have." She whispered aloud to herself. "Somewhere other than yesterday..." She thought about it for a few minutes, but nothing came to immediate mind, and since she didn't have a vast amount of self control, she went straight for the package. A similar typed note was attached which she read first;
Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back, or wondering
How it could be now, or might have been
Oh this I know, but still I can't find ways to let you go
I never had a dream come true
'Til the day that I found you**
"He's writing lyrics from songs..." Pan whispered to herself. And remembering from before, flipped the card over to see;
I still dream of you
Pan couldn't help but smile, and took the note to add to the other held up on her refrigerator by a few magnets. They stood in plain view so she could look at them whenever she walked by. Normally a fan's gift wouldn't touch her so, but these ones did, besides Pan had an inkling that they were from someone she knew, she just hadn't figured out who yet. Walking back to the living room, she opened the actual present to see another figurine. This seemed to be of the same angel girl, but this time she was curled up on the same rock with a content smile playing on her face. On the rock it read 'Dare to Dream'. She took it and placed it beside her other figurine and it was extremely obvious that they went hand in hand. This realization sent the gears in Pan's mind spinning.
With a press of a button, Pan was dialing up onto the internet to do a little investigating. She logged on to the shopping network and looked up figurines, but more specifically the two she had received via the door step. With the quickness of the web, in a matter of seconds the information she wanted was on her screen.
The set that she had received was in actuality only half of it. The entire set consisted of four figures. She glanced at the two names and chose the one she wanted to use. With a click on the icon, she found out that she could purchase one at the crystal store a few blocks away, and made up her mind to go as soon as she was done online.
"Well, with that out of the way, I just need to find some lyrics to go with it. My secret admirer will be in for a surprise." Pan said, already forgetting her little run in with Trunks. She logged onto a search engine and found some lyrics that had a connection to the figurine she would be buying. "I've never heard this song, so I don't know what it really sounds like, but I guess it'll do." She printed out the lyrics and set them beside her computer.
She then quickly logged off the internet, shut down her computer and any lights that were on and dashed outside. Making sure she had her keys, she quickly jogged down the streets with a goal in mind. She had to make it to the small crystal store before it closed for the day. She was going to buy the third angel in the set and leave it on her doorstep where hopefully her mysterious fan would pick it up.
As she entered the small shop, apparently making it in time before it shut down, she felt the eyes of the clerk turn towards her. She and the clerk were the only ones in the store, and Pan was a sight to see. Her eyes were still somewhat puffy from her crying, her hair was windblown due to the jog from her apartment, and she was wearing red overalls. Pan rushed over to the man at the cashier and smiled.
"Hi, I'm looking for something in particular..."
***
Everything was set. Pan had carefully wrapped the figurine she had purchased that day in the same silver wrapping paper. Since she had no idea where this person was getting it from, she just used the paper from the first day since she had been so careful with it. She attached the card to it, and she would put it outside when she left tonight. Zach had called up and said that he thought she should get her mind off things, and he had invited her to dinner. Pan agreed. She would place the package outside when she left to wait for him in the lobby.
Pan did a once over of her appearance in the mean time. She was once again attired in black and red. When she went to get dressed after her shower, she found it odd that she only ever wore those two colours, and doing an inspection of her closet she realized that was really all she owned except for her 'around the house' clothes that were an assortment of colours. She had put on a red sort of party dress that was low cut, sleeveless and flared out at her waist until her knees where it ended. Pan also had a fascination with scarfs so she had added a black one to the outfit since she didn't like having attention drawn to her chest. She had a silver watch on, and glancing at it now she knew she had to leave for the lobby or else she would be late.
Doing her routine check of the apartment, she flicked off the kitchen light after grabbing the present in her arms. Tucking her keys into her purse, she locked her door and placed the package gently down on the door step. Smiling at her work, she turned towards the elevator that would take her to the lobby where she would meet Zach, totally oblivious to the 'surprise' he had planned for her.
To be continued...
**(c) S Club 7, 'Never had a dream come true'
