6:30 PM 9/28/01
E-mail: lac31685@aol.com
By: Chuquita
Quote of the Week: -From "The Brak Show"
Thundercles: (singing) Three hams will fill him, three hams will fill him, why
don't you feed him--three hams!
Chuey's Corner:
Chuquita: Hi! Welcome to Part 3
Gohan: The last chapter of this story.
Chuquita: During the end of the last "Corner", I used my tradmark "Big Book of
Author Spells" to put a truth spell on Veggie so he'd be forced to tell the truth for
an entire 24 hours!
Goku: [hugging Veggie] And guess what! Veggie told me I'm his best buddy and that he loves
me---
Vegeta: I SAID "LIKE"! NOT "LOVE"!
Goku: [not paying attention] And that he's not a natural brunette and that sometimes he likes
to pretend that he's the ruler of the universe and he has little figurines that he pretends are
peasants but he's blasted them so many times they all look like little smokey mounds of plastic.
Vegeta: (hisses) Will you shut up!
Goku: And he thinks I'm a cutie! (grins stupidly)
Vegeta: (at a loss for words) I--
Audiance: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...
Goku: And that I have pretty eyes!
Audiance: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...
Goku: AND that I--
Vegeta: [slaps his hand over Goku's mouth] SHADDUP!! [turns to audiance, laughing nervously]
Don't listen to Bakarrot, he has no idea what he's saying! Why, he doesn't understand half the
words that come out of his third-class mouth.
Chuquita: (w/an evil smirk on her face) Oh I think he does, Mr. "Pretty Eyes"
Vegeta: [takes his hand off of Goku's mouth] (angry) I SHOULD SLUG YOU!!
Goku: (to audiance) And his toenails are painted pi--
Vegeta: [slaps his hand back over Goku's mouth] (glares at Chuquita) You know I'm starting to
wonder which one of us you REALLY put that truth spell on.
Gohan: (curiously) Are your toenails really painted pink, Vedge?
Vegeta: (embarassed) It was little Bura's idea. I had NOTHING to do with it; if that's what
you're insinuating.
Chuquita: (slyly) Sure you didn't Veggie.
Vegeta: YOU PUT THE STUPID SPELL ON ME REMEMBER! I CAN'T LIE!
Chuquita: ...oh yeah! (grins) Silly me.
Gohan: And now, part 3
Summary: And once again the day is saved..by who? After watching Gohan's many superhero antics on
the news, Veggie decides it's time to break out his old "Masked Avenger" costume and hog some of
the glory for himself--and surprisingly ends up saving the day even better than Gohan has. After
much gloating and boasting, Gohan snaps and Vegeta decides to put an end to the compitition with
a contest; the first one to perform the biggest superhero feat gets the town and the loser must
give-up crimefighting for good! Who will win? Who knows...
*************************************************************************************************
" *Slurp*, I can't let him win this, *slurp*, I've got to keep an eye on his every move,
*slurp*, oh man, this is insane! "
" Gohan, what are you doing? " Goten asked his brother as he waddled into the kitchen,
" It's 12:30 in the morning we're supposed to be sleeping. " he yawned.
" *slurp*, can't sleep now Goten, *slurp*, gotta stay awake, *slurp*, gotta get a head
start tommorow so I can, *slurp*, save the planet. " Gohan said, glancing around at the small
boy; Gohan's eyes bloodshot.
" What are you drinking--GASP! COFFEE! " Goten yelped, pointing at the mug in Gohan's
hands, " You know Mom doesn't allow us to drink coffee! " he looked over the kitchen table, which
was filled with empty coffee mugs.
" You don't understand Goten, *slurp*, I have to, I have to stay awake. I can't sleep
late or I might wake up to find out Vegeta's already taken over the world! "
" You mean Uncle Veggie? " Goten asked curiously, " Why would he want to do something
like that? "
" Because he's a kook, Goten. *slurp*, he's helplessly obsessed with becoming better than
'Kakarrot'. " Gohan said, sliding his now empty mug across the table.
" Who's Kakarrot, Gohan? "
" That's your "Uncle Veggie's" pet name for our dad. Our dad who's been DEAD for 7
years! " he pounded his fist on the table.
" But he's already better than 'Kakarrot', isn't he? " Goten said innocently as Gohan
gave him a shocked look.
" WHAT!? "
" I mean, at least he isn't dead too, right? "
" ... "
" ... "
" Yeah, well, "Uncle Veggie"'s mind got a little wacky after "Kakarrot" died, and that's
why I can't let him gain power over the town. " Gohan said, his hand now shaking from all the
caffeine flowing through his body.
" Is that why Uncle Veggie made his downstairs closet into a throne room? "
" Throne room? Goten? " Gohan looked down at him.
Goten smiled, " Me-n-Trunks go down there all the time. He has a throne and a crown &
this big fuzzy red-n-white robe that I like to play parachute with! "
" ... " Gohan stared at him, then hung his head & moaned, " Oh my God I can't believe
he's doing this! "
" And he has this weird dart board on the wall with this guy's picture on it who looks
just like me. " Goten added as Gohan paused.
" A..dart board...with a picture of someone who looks like you on it? " he murmured.
" Yeah, that's what I said. "
" Umm, this person, the one in the picture, doesn't happen to look, oh, say, about 25
years older than you? "
" Yes. Only he has a big dart in the middle of his forehead! " Goten pointed to his own
forehead. Gohan narrowed his eyes, then stood up, his hands clenched on the table.
" THAT'S IT! BEING JEALOUS OF ME I CAN UNDERSTAND! CALLING ME "KAKARROT" I CAN UNDERSTAND
! BUT MAKING A PICTURE OF TOUSSAN INTO A _DARTBOARD_....HOW DARE HE!!! " Gohan went SSJ2,
" Goten! " he ordered, " Get my Saiyaman watch, I'm going out on superhero patrol NOW! "
" But Gohan shouldn't you sleep first? "
" I don't need sleep, I had coffee. Mom drinks coffee all the time and she's oh-kay! "
Gohan exclaimed, his body shaking.
" Well...alright. " Goten shrugged, then left the room & returned with the watch. He
handed it to Gohan, who strapped it on & pressed the button, causing his superhero suit to
instantly appear on him.
" Up-up-up-up-up-up-up-and-away! " Gohan said quickly, the effect of the caffeine clearly
setting in. He rushed through the door & flew off. Goten stood in the doorway, watching the trail
left behind by his older brother.
" Something tells me this is gonna be a very strange day. "
" Just think Kaka-chan, after tommorow I, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL SAIYAJIN NO OUJI, will
be the official ruler of the town. " he said, sitting in his throne room & holding the little
plush Goku on his lap. The toy stared back at him with its oval-shaped button eyes, saying
nothing, " Did you know your spawn seems to think that I want to take over the world? What a
stupid idea. This planet isn't even fit for one of my minnions to rule over. "
" ... "
" You're right, I don't have any minnions, do I....well, you count. I guess. " he
answered, then patted the plushie on the head, got up off the throne & propped it onto the
cushion. Vegeta yawned.
" I've got to get some sleep, Kaka-chan. " he said, tired, as he slowly made his way
towards the steps that led up to his bedroom.
" ... "
" Why? Because I need to concerve my royal energy of course. " he smirked, chucking his
crown down the stairs, which landed on the throne next to the toy, " If I didn't, why I'd be
flying around all day like a zombie. And who wants to do that! "
" Ooh...I know you're out there. You're out there just waiting for me to slip up, well
I won't. " Gohan said, his eyes still bloodshot as he sat on the rooftop of one of the buildings,
" I can't let this happen. If I let him take the town I'd be letting every citizen, including
Dad, down. That just wouldn't be right. " Gohan shook his head, then glanced at his watch, which
read 5:03am. He yawned, " Ohhh, my head. " he rubbed his eyes, " I wish I had brought some
medicine with me. The pain is throbbing! " he glanced over at his watch a second time, " Maybe,
maybe I could just take a short nap. Yeah, a real...short...naa--- " Gohan yawned, then felt back
, sound asleep.
" *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* " Gohan lazily opened one eye to find himself laying on his side,
still on the roof.
" Ohhh, shutuuuuup. " he groaned, then reached to turn off the alarm & screamed, " 10:30!
IT CAN'T BE! " he lept to his feet, the sun now brightly shining in the sky, " OH NO! I FELL
ASLEEP! HOW COULD I! AND AFTER ALL THAT COFFEE! "
" Tsk, tsk, tsk, this isn't even a challange at all. " Gohan froze, then whipped around
to see the "Masked Avenger floating above him, holding a kitten under his arm, " For someone so
closely related to Kakarrot, I'm disappointed. "
" VEGETA!...how long have you been up! " Gohan demanded.
" Long enough to save the day about 2 dozen times, not including this cat here. " he
said pointing to the kitten. Vegeta glanced down at the little girl on the sidewalk.
" Oh THANK YOU MASKED AVENGER! " she clasped her hands together as Vegeta smiled at her,
then turned to Gohan & stuck his tongue out, then flew down & handed the cat to the girl.
" Just keep him inside from now on, oh-kay? " he said to the girl, who nodded, then blew
the Masked Avenger a kiss and ran off, " Heh, cute kid. "
" VEGETAAAAAAA!!!! " Gohan yelled down to him.
" WHAAAAAAAT! " Vegeta mimicked Gohan, a slight tinge of aggrivation in his voice.
" YOU JUST WAIT! I'M GONNA FIND SOMETHING THAT'LL MAKE THAT KITTEN RESCUE OF YOURS LOOK
LIKE...LIKE...LIKE A REALLY TERRIBLE JOB OF SUPERHEROICS! " he screamed at him.
" Sure you will bakarrot spawn. " Vegeta crossed his arms, " Like anything could make
those peasants love you more than me. They eat up that 'saving a helpless animal' bit. "
" Oh yeah, well I bet-- "
" HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!! "
" SOMEONE IN NEED! " Vegeta & Gohan shouted in unison.
" Look! It's Kakarrot! " Gohan yelled as Vegeta quickly whipped around.
" Kaka-chan? " Vegeta said, wide-eyed as he looked left, then right, " ....HEY! KAKARROT
ISN'T HERE! YOU IDIOT-- " he gasped to find Gohan was now gone, " Grrr...I'LL GET YOU!!!! "
" Let's hear it for the Great Saiyaman! "
" HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY! " the crowd of people on the bus Gohan was holding
above his head cheered. Gohan set the bus down and on its way. He smiled proudly, then felt a
tap on his shoulder & turned around to see Vegeta giving him death-glares.
" Hello KAKARROT. " he gritted through his teeth. Gohan sweatdropped.
" I just saved that bus from crashing into a taxi. " Gohan said in his superhero voice.
" Well, isn't that cute. " Vegeta snarled, then grabbed Gohan by the collar & pulled him
down to the ouji's height, " WELL IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO BEAT ME THEN YOU CAN GUESS AGAIN!"
" Uhhhh... " Gohan said, at a loss for words.
" YOU JUST WAIT! TRYING TO TRICK ME WITH A STUPID TRICK! THAT'S SO _UN_-KAKA-LIKE! " he
growled, " I'm starting to think you were adopted. "
" ADOPTED! YOU'RE CRAZY! "
" ME CRAZY! I'LL SHOW YOU YOU HALF-SAIYAJIN PEASANT SPAWN OF KAKARROT! "
" OH YEAH?! "
" _YEAH!_ "
" HELP! HELP! "
" WHOOSH "
" HOORAY! "
" HELP! MY SON IS TRAPPED IN THAT ELEVATOR! "
" ZIP! "
" YEA! "
" HELP! WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY MUTANT GOLDFISH! "
" WHOOSH "
" Oh THANK YOU! "'
" HELP! MY DOG IS CAUGHT IN THAT SEWAGE DRAIN! "
" ZIP "
" OH HOW CAN I EVER THANK YOU! "
" HELP! "
" HELP! "
" ____HELP_____!!!!! "
" Ohhhh, my body.... " the Masked Avenger moaned in pain as he leaned against the side
of one of the trees in the park.
" I think my legs just died... " the Great Saiyaman said, also worn out.
" How can such a small city have so many problems. " Vegeta said to Gohan, " It's not
logical! "
" Yeah, well neither is you being an alien prince from another planet but I never say
anything about it. " Gohan mumbled.
" Baka town...I'm wiped out... " Vegeta whined.
" Forget about it, " Gohan smiled, " At least, at least the town's safe now. We worked
so hard, nothing could POSSIBLY happen now. "
" ROAR!!! "
The two saiyajins watched a humongous pirana monster stomp downtown, breathing fire in
its wake.
Vegeta glared at Gohan, " You and your big mouth. "Nothing could POSSIBLY happen now",
sheesh. " he said, crossing his arms, " Oh well, I guess it's time for ME to go save the town,
eh? " he smirked, then tried to stand up, then fell back down again, moaning, " Ohhhh, too much
pain.. "
Gohan also attempted to get up, but had the same result.
" Don't you have any senzu seeds! " he asked Gohan, who sighed.
" No, I drank so much coffee I thought I wouldn't need that much extra energy. " he said
sadly, then perked up, " Do you have any-- "
" IF I DID I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO ASK YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE! " Vegeta shouted.
" But, but if we don't have any senzu seeds to eat, then we can't get up, and if we can't
get up, we can't save the town! " Gohan said, panicy.
" No crap, Sherlock. " Vegeta rolled his eyes.
" VEGETA! Those people are helpless back there! "
" Well, maybe they can get "Hercule" to save them instead. " Vegeta snickered.
" DON'T JOKE LIKE THAT! " Gohan said, then grabbed onto a nearby tree & used to hoist
himself up on his feet, " *whew*! " he heaved a sigh, " Vegeta, grab my hand, I'll help you up. "
" NO! You'll get you nasty Kako-germs all over me! "
" BUT WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER IF WE'RE GONNA STOP THAT MONSTER! "
Vegeta huffed, " Feh, like I'm going to work with someone who's related to Kakarrot, yeah
right. " he said. The two paused as something rushed past them, dropping something on the ground
on its way by.
" SENZU SEEDS! " Gohan said, overjoyed as he grabbed one of the beans & ate it, instantly
, his energy came back to him. Vegeta took several & swallowed them in one gulp, then got up &
grinned boastfully at Gohan, who rolled his eyes.
" Who was that? " Gohan said, baffled as he watched the trail of smoke left behind from
the runner who had dropped the seeds.
" Who cares! As soon as I defeat that monster it won't even matter. " Vegeta flew up,
" And neither will you. " he snickered, then zoomed off.
" Err, YOU CAN'T DO THIS! " Gohan said, then flew after him and back into the city.
" HOORAY! HOORAY! " the citizens cheered, all in awe of what had happened just as Gohan &
Vegeta made it to the town.
" What the heck are they cheering about? I haven't saved them yet! " Vegeta exclaimed as
they stood amidst the crowd.
" Wow! He was amazing wasn't he! "
" I couldn't believe it! He took out that creature within seconds! "
" Now that's what I call a real hero! "
" Umm, excuse me, " Gohan said, tapping on the shoulder of one of the citizens, " But, uh
, who are you talking about? "
" Why, the great hero who just saved us that's who! " the citizen answered.
" Well I KNOW THAT! _WHO_ IS HE! " Vegeta snapped.
" Oh, you mean the Saiyan Salmon? He's our new superhero! " the citizen smiled.
" The Saiyan what?? " Gohan said, confused as Vegeta stood there in shock.
" It can't be. It just CAN'T be! " Vegeta said, closing his eyes.
" OH LOOK! Here he is now! " another citizen shouted as Gohan turned around & gasped.
" Please, please don't let it be... " Vegeta prayed, then whipped around & opened his
eyes wide.
" HI EVERYBODY!!! " Goku said in a loud, yet cheery voice, wearing a peachish-pink fish
costume and holding the now-dead giant pirana monster over his back, " FEAR NOT GOOD CITIZENS,
and Veggie, I WILL MAKE SURE THIS FISH GOES TO A PLACE WHERE IT CAN NEVER BOTHER ANY OF YOU
AGAIN!--IN MY STOMACH! And with a little tartar sause this thing'll taste delicious! " he
grinned at them in a cheesy way.
Gohan & Vegeta continued gawking at the figure as all the other citizens burst into
cheers.
" Father? " Gohan trailed off, still unable to grasp Goku was there.
" But--but--but HOW! HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN! HOW CAN KAKARROT BE HERE! HOW CAN HE DO THIS
TO ME AND REMAIN SO CALM! " Vegeta cried, " I WAS COMPETING AGAINST HIS SPAWN--AND I HAD THE
ADVANTAGE! I WAS THE TOWN'S FAVORITE SUPERHERO! AND JUST WHEN I'M ABOUT TO STRIKE GOHAN'S
SUPERHERO CAREER DOWN INTO THE TOILET! WHEN I'M JUST ABOUT TO BECOME NUMBER ONE AT SOMETHING!
WHEN I'M JUST ABOUT TO GET THE RESPECT AND THE LOYALTY AND THE LOVE AND THE WORSHIP THAT I,
AS THE SAIYAJIN PRINCE SO RIGHTFULLY DESERVE....Kakarrot shows up and steals my glory away
from me. " he said bitterly, " It'll always be that way. I'll never escape him, I'll never be
number one, EVEN WHEN HE'S IN OTHER WORLD HE STILL FINDS A WAY TO TAUNT MY SOUL!!!! WHY! WHY!
WHY KAKARROT! WHY!!! " he howled down on his knees, beating his fists against the ground.
" Because it's my job. " Goku answered Vegeta, staring at him curiously.
" I KNOW IT'S YOUR JOB BAKAYARO! YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT! "
" No, no, remember when I told way back in the beginning of Part 2 that I've been doing
part-time jobs for free-days here on Earth? "
" Yes Kakarrot, I remember. " Vegeta said in a tired voice.
" Well, meet my new temporary part-time job! Fish Superhero! You know, answer B). " Goku
explained happily, then rubbed Vegeta on the head, " I think I've been doing a pretty good job
so far, huh! "
" Yeah Dad, amazing! " Gohan smiled, staring at the huge fish monster.
Goku nodded, " Thanks! But I'm only gonna be doing this for a couple days anyway. "
" So, this, "salmon", thing, is only temporary? " Vegeta inquired suspicously.
" YUP! " Goku grinned, then snapped his fingers, " HEY! I just got a great idea! Let's
go back to the park! We can roast the fish and eat it there! It'll be fun! "
" REALLY DAD? " Gohan said excitedly.
" Uh-huh! " Goku said, then turned to the crowd, " ANYONE WHO WANTS FISH FOLLOW ME! " he
shouted, then flew off w/Gohan, the crowd running after them, leaving Vegeta standing alone in
the middle of the street.
" WAIT STOP! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING! " he screamed at the crowd, " _I'M_ THE
HERO! NOT KAKARROT! I SAVED YOU WORTHLESS IDIOTS FROM FLOODS! AND FIRES! I STOPPED YOUR THIEVES
AND BURGLARS AND I EVEN SAVED THAT STUPID CAT FROM THAT TREE! "
A little boy stopped & looked over his shoulder at him, " We're going back to the park
with our NEW hero. "
" But, WHAT ABOUT _ME_!! " Vegeta shouted.
" Oh, you're old news. Here, superheroes are like fads, you're new, then you're in, then
you're out. And YOU are out. " he pointed at Vegeta, " The Saiyan Salmon's our hero NOW. " he
smirked then ran off.
Vegeta glared at the boy, wondering if he should throw a ki-blast at him. He decided
against it, then hung his head, depressed. Vegeta sighed, then felt a tug on his pant leg &
looked down to see the little girl who had told Gohan before about the gift shop. She smiled up
at him admirably, still wearing her Masked Avenger t-shirt.
She hugged his leg, then looked up at Vegeta, " Everybody needs a hero, " she whispered
to him, then smiled, " and you're still mine. "
" ... " Vegeta stared down at her, his mouth hanging open. He thought for a moment,
" Uhhh...thank you. " he stammered. The little girl let go of his leg, then skipped off, " Hey?
Where're you going? "
" To the park! " she answered.
" So you're deserting me too, eh? "
" Nope! " the little girl smiled, " I just like fish! Goodbye Masked Avenger! " she waved
to him, then disappeared into the woods that led to the park.
Vegeta paused for a second, then smiled proudly and laughed, " AHH HA HA! DID YOU SEE
THAT ONE, KAKARROT! " he shouted up at the sky, " YOU DIDN'T DEFEAT ME AFTER ALL! IF THAT LITTLE
KID STILL BELIEVES IN ME THAT MEANS YOU DIDN'T WIN OVER THE _WHOLE_ TOWN! HAHA! IN YOUR FACE
BAKAYARO! " he boasted. Then took off the black bandana he had over his eyes, " Even a small
victory over you is sweet. And if this is how a small victory feels, then just think how
entoxicating it will be WHEN I DEFEAT YOU IN BATTLE! " Vegeta said, pulling off his red cape, " I
think I'm going to have to limit this crimefighting of mine. I have more important things to do,
and I have to train to defeat you. HAHA! YOU JUST WAIT KAKARROT! HAVE YOUR FUN PLAYING FISH-MAN
NOW! I'LL JUST BECOME STRONGER THAN YOU! Heh, yeah. You just wait... "
*************************************************************************************************
12:24 PM 10/6/01
THE END
Goku: Hmm, wow. Veggie was a little more in-character in that one then most of our
stories.
Chuquita: Yeah, well, for some reason he tends to do that whenever I have him starring opposite
anybody other than you. It's harder to exaggerate him when his
most-hated-enemy/big-buddy/mindless-obsession isn't playing such a big role.
Goku: Ohh.
Vegeta: [thumbing through Chu's "Big Book of Author Spells" for a cure to the "Tattletale" spell]
Goku: [pointing to Veggie] Should he be doing that?
Chuquita: Doing what?
Goku: I mean, is he allowed to do that?
Chuquita: [glances over at Veggie, who's reading down the column for a cure] AHH! (angrily)
VEGGIE!
Vegeta: [looks up] What? [looks down at the book, then sweatdrops] [grins cheesily up at Chu]
Heh, oh, this. I was just, umm, I happened to notice the pages in your book were bent and I was
trying to, umm, un-bend them. (big cheesy smile)
Chuquita: [grabs the book out of Veggie's hands] (glaring) Sure you were. [flips through her
book]
Goku: (excited) OOHEY! What're you gonna do to Veggie now!
Chuquita: Hmm, I dunno. So far we've changed him into an idiot, turned his hair pink, driven
him temporarily insane, changed him into our servant, had him wash your feet, changed his outfit
into a pink ballerina costume, turned him into a plush-toy, turned him into a baby---and then
Chi-Chi made him our butler, and there's that "Tattletale" spell I put one him a couple Corner's
ago and...and I think that's about it.
Goku: Wow, that's a lotta stuff. Is it all in order?
Chuquita: Mmm...I think so. [still flipping through the pages] This is I can't think of any
more spells that'll teach him a lesson for what he just did. (sadly) But I couldn't have used up
all the good ones already.. (brightens up) HEY! [points to one spell] This one's perfect!
Goku: OOH! LEMMIE SEE! [zips over to her, Vegeta standing behind them, shifting uncomfortably]
Chuquita: Ahh, here it is, the "Double-Dare" spell. It's just like the Tattletale one, only this
one's the physical version.
Goku: You mean like when you made Veggie our servant?
Chuquita: No, not really. That spell just made him tend to our every whim. With this one it's
not so much cleaning after us. It's more like, if I ordered him to do a little dance for us the
spell would force him to do so. He'll have control over his mind, just not his body.
Goku: COOoOoOooOoOOoOoOOl! I wanna see Veggie to a little Veggie dance!
Vegeta: (angrily) I DO NOT DANCE!
Chuquita: [zaps Veggie] (smirking) You do now.
E-mail: lac31685@aol.com
By: Chuquita
Quote of the Week: -From "The Brak Show"
Thundercles: (singing) Three hams will fill him, three hams will fill him, why
don't you feed him--three hams!
Chuey's Corner:
Chuquita: Hi! Welcome to Part 3
Gohan: The last chapter of this story.
Chuquita: During the end of the last "Corner", I used my tradmark "Big Book of
Author Spells" to put a truth spell on Veggie so he'd be forced to tell the truth for
an entire 24 hours!
Goku: [hugging Veggie] And guess what! Veggie told me I'm his best buddy and that he loves
me---
Vegeta: I SAID "LIKE"! NOT "LOVE"!
Goku: [not paying attention] And that he's not a natural brunette and that sometimes he likes
to pretend that he's the ruler of the universe and he has little figurines that he pretends are
peasants but he's blasted them so many times they all look like little smokey mounds of plastic.
Vegeta: (hisses) Will you shut up!
Goku: And he thinks I'm a cutie! (grins stupidly)
Vegeta: (at a loss for words) I--
Audiance: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...
Goku: And that I have pretty eyes!
Audiance: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...
Goku: AND that I--
Vegeta: [slaps his hand over Goku's mouth] SHADDUP!! [turns to audiance, laughing nervously]
Don't listen to Bakarrot, he has no idea what he's saying! Why, he doesn't understand half the
words that come out of his third-class mouth.
Chuquita: (w/an evil smirk on her face) Oh I think he does, Mr. "Pretty Eyes"
Vegeta: [takes his hand off of Goku's mouth] (angry) I SHOULD SLUG YOU!!
Goku: (to audiance) And his toenails are painted pi--
Vegeta: [slaps his hand back over Goku's mouth] (glares at Chuquita) You know I'm starting to
wonder which one of us you REALLY put that truth spell on.
Gohan: (curiously) Are your toenails really painted pink, Vedge?
Vegeta: (embarassed) It was little Bura's idea. I had NOTHING to do with it; if that's what
you're insinuating.
Chuquita: (slyly) Sure you didn't Veggie.
Vegeta: YOU PUT THE STUPID SPELL ON ME REMEMBER! I CAN'T LIE!
Chuquita: ...oh yeah! (grins) Silly me.
Gohan: And now, part 3
Summary: And once again the day is saved..by who? After watching Gohan's many superhero antics on
the news, Veggie decides it's time to break out his old "Masked Avenger" costume and hog some of
the glory for himself--and surprisingly ends up saving the day even better than Gohan has. After
much gloating and boasting, Gohan snaps and Vegeta decides to put an end to the compitition with
a contest; the first one to perform the biggest superhero feat gets the town and the loser must
give-up crimefighting for good! Who will win? Who knows...
*************************************************************************************************
" *Slurp*, I can't let him win this, *slurp*, I've got to keep an eye on his every move,
*slurp*, oh man, this is insane! "
" Gohan, what are you doing? " Goten asked his brother as he waddled into the kitchen,
" It's 12:30 in the morning we're supposed to be sleeping. " he yawned.
" *slurp*, can't sleep now Goten, *slurp*, gotta stay awake, *slurp*, gotta get a head
start tommorow so I can, *slurp*, save the planet. " Gohan said, glancing around at the small
boy; Gohan's eyes bloodshot.
" What are you drinking--GASP! COFFEE! " Goten yelped, pointing at the mug in Gohan's
hands, " You know Mom doesn't allow us to drink coffee! " he looked over the kitchen table, which
was filled with empty coffee mugs.
" You don't understand Goten, *slurp*, I have to, I have to stay awake. I can't sleep
late or I might wake up to find out Vegeta's already taken over the world! "
" You mean Uncle Veggie? " Goten asked curiously, " Why would he want to do something
like that? "
" Because he's a kook, Goten. *slurp*, he's helplessly obsessed with becoming better than
'Kakarrot'. " Gohan said, sliding his now empty mug across the table.
" Who's Kakarrot, Gohan? "
" That's your "Uncle Veggie's" pet name for our dad. Our dad who's been DEAD for 7
years! " he pounded his fist on the table.
" But he's already better than 'Kakarrot', isn't he? " Goten said innocently as Gohan
gave him a shocked look.
" WHAT!? "
" I mean, at least he isn't dead too, right? "
" ... "
" ... "
" Yeah, well, "Uncle Veggie"'s mind got a little wacky after "Kakarrot" died, and that's
why I can't let him gain power over the town. " Gohan said, his hand now shaking from all the
caffeine flowing through his body.
" Is that why Uncle Veggie made his downstairs closet into a throne room? "
" Throne room? Goten? " Gohan looked down at him.
Goten smiled, " Me-n-Trunks go down there all the time. He has a throne and a crown &
this big fuzzy red-n-white robe that I like to play parachute with! "
" ... " Gohan stared at him, then hung his head & moaned, " Oh my God I can't believe
he's doing this! "
" And he has this weird dart board on the wall with this guy's picture on it who looks
just like me. " Goten added as Gohan paused.
" A..dart board...with a picture of someone who looks like you on it? " he murmured.
" Yeah, that's what I said. "
" Umm, this person, the one in the picture, doesn't happen to look, oh, say, about 25
years older than you? "
" Yes. Only he has a big dart in the middle of his forehead! " Goten pointed to his own
forehead. Gohan narrowed his eyes, then stood up, his hands clenched on the table.
" THAT'S IT! BEING JEALOUS OF ME I CAN UNDERSTAND! CALLING ME "KAKARROT" I CAN UNDERSTAND
! BUT MAKING A PICTURE OF TOUSSAN INTO A _DARTBOARD_....HOW DARE HE!!! " Gohan went SSJ2,
" Goten! " he ordered, " Get my Saiyaman watch, I'm going out on superhero patrol NOW! "
" But Gohan shouldn't you sleep first? "
" I don't need sleep, I had coffee. Mom drinks coffee all the time and she's oh-kay! "
Gohan exclaimed, his body shaking.
" Well...alright. " Goten shrugged, then left the room & returned with the watch. He
handed it to Gohan, who strapped it on & pressed the button, causing his superhero suit to
instantly appear on him.
" Up-up-up-up-up-up-up-and-away! " Gohan said quickly, the effect of the caffeine clearly
setting in. He rushed through the door & flew off. Goten stood in the doorway, watching the trail
left behind by his older brother.
" Something tells me this is gonna be a very strange day. "
" Just think Kaka-chan, after tommorow I, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL SAIYAJIN NO OUJI, will
be the official ruler of the town. " he said, sitting in his throne room & holding the little
plush Goku on his lap. The toy stared back at him with its oval-shaped button eyes, saying
nothing, " Did you know your spawn seems to think that I want to take over the world? What a
stupid idea. This planet isn't even fit for one of my minnions to rule over. "
" ... "
" You're right, I don't have any minnions, do I....well, you count. I guess. " he
answered, then patted the plushie on the head, got up off the throne & propped it onto the
cushion. Vegeta yawned.
" I've got to get some sleep, Kaka-chan. " he said, tired, as he slowly made his way
towards the steps that led up to his bedroom.
" ... "
" Why? Because I need to concerve my royal energy of course. " he smirked, chucking his
crown down the stairs, which landed on the throne next to the toy, " If I didn't, why I'd be
flying around all day like a zombie. And who wants to do that! "
" Ooh...I know you're out there. You're out there just waiting for me to slip up, well
I won't. " Gohan said, his eyes still bloodshot as he sat on the rooftop of one of the buildings,
" I can't let this happen. If I let him take the town I'd be letting every citizen, including
Dad, down. That just wouldn't be right. " Gohan shook his head, then glanced at his watch, which
read 5:03am. He yawned, " Ohhh, my head. " he rubbed his eyes, " I wish I had brought some
medicine with me. The pain is throbbing! " he glanced over at his watch a second time, " Maybe,
maybe I could just take a short nap. Yeah, a real...short...naa--- " Gohan yawned, then felt back
, sound asleep.
" *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* " Gohan lazily opened one eye to find himself laying on his side,
still on the roof.
" Ohhh, shutuuuuup. " he groaned, then reached to turn off the alarm & screamed, " 10:30!
IT CAN'T BE! " he lept to his feet, the sun now brightly shining in the sky, " OH NO! I FELL
ASLEEP! HOW COULD I! AND AFTER ALL THAT COFFEE! "
" Tsk, tsk, tsk, this isn't even a challange at all. " Gohan froze, then whipped around
to see the "Masked Avenger floating above him, holding a kitten under his arm, " For someone so
closely related to Kakarrot, I'm disappointed. "
" VEGETA!...how long have you been up! " Gohan demanded.
" Long enough to save the day about 2 dozen times, not including this cat here. " he
said pointing to the kitten. Vegeta glanced down at the little girl on the sidewalk.
" Oh THANK YOU MASKED AVENGER! " she clasped her hands together as Vegeta smiled at her,
then turned to Gohan & stuck his tongue out, then flew down & handed the cat to the girl.
" Just keep him inside from now on, oh-kay? " he said to the girl, who nodded, then blew
the Masked Avenger a kiss and ran off, " Heh, cute kid. "
" VEGETAAAAAAA!!!! " Gohan yelled down to him.
" WHAAAAAAAT! " Vegeta mimicked Gohan, a slight tinge of aggrivation in his voice.
" YOU JUST WAIT! I'M GONNA FIND SOMETHING THAT'LL MAKE THAT KITTEN RESCUE OF YOURS LOOK
LIKE...LIKE...LIKE A REALLY TERRIBLE JOB OF SUPERHEROICS! " he screamed at him.
" Sure you will bakarrot spawn. " Vegeta crossed his arms, " Like anything could make
those peasants love you more than me. They eat up that 'saving a helpless animal' bit. "
" Oh yeah, well I bet-- "
" HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!! "
" SOMEONE IN NEED! " Vegeta & Gohan shouted in unison.
" Look! It's Kakarrot! " Gohan yelled as Vegeta quickly whipped around.
" Kaka-chan? " Vegeta said, wide-eyed as he looked left, then right, " ....HEY! KAKARROT
ISN'T HERE! YOU IDIOT-- " he gasped to find Gohan was now gone, " Grrr...I'LL GET YOU!!!! "
" Let's hear it for the Great Saiyaman! "
" HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY! " the crowd of people on the bus Gohan was holding
above his head cheered. Gohan set the bus down and on its way. He smiled proudly, then felt a
tap on his shoulder & turned around to see Vegeta giving him death-glares.
" Hello KAKARROT. " he gritted through his teeth. Gohan sweatdropped.
" I just saved that bus from crashing into a taxi. " Gohan said in his superhero voice.
" Well, isn't that cute. " Vegeta snarled, then grabbed Gohan by the collar & pulled him
down to the ouji's height, " WELL IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO BEAT ME THEN YOU CAN GUESS AGAIN!"
" Uhhhh... " Gohan said, at a loss for words.
" YOU JUST WAIT! TRYING TO TRICK ME WITH A STUPID TRICK! THAT'S SO _UN_-KAKA-LIKE! " he
growled, " I'm starting to think you were adopted. "
" ADOPTED! YOU'RE CRAZY! "
" ME CRAZY! I'LL SHOW YOU YOU HALF-SAIYAJIN PEASANT SPAWN OF KAKARROT! "
" OH YEAH?! "
" _YEAH!_ "
" HELP! HELP! "
" WHOOSH "
" HOORAY! "
" HELP! MY SON IS TRAPPED IN THAT ELEVATOR! "
" ZIP! "
" YEA! "
" HELP! WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY MUTANT GOLDFISH! "
" WHOOSH "
" Oh THANK YOU! "'
" HELP! MY DOG IS CAUGHT IN THAT SEWAGE DRAIN! "
" ZIP "
" OH HOW CAN I EVER THANK YOU! "
" HELP! "
" HELP! "
" ____HELP_____!!!!! "
" Ohhhh, my body.... " the Masked Avenger moaned in pain as he leaned against the side
of one of the trees in the park.
" I think my legs just died... " the Great Saiyaman said, also worn out.
" How can such a small city have so many problems. " Vegeta said to Gohan, " It's not
logical! "
" Yeah, well neither is you being an alien prince from another planet but I never say
anything about it. " Gohan mumbled.
" Baka town...I'm wiped out... " Vegeta whined.
" Forget about it, " Gohan smiled, " At least, at least the town's safe now. We worked
so hard, nothing could POSSIBLY happen now. "
" ROAR!!! "
The two saiyajins watched a humongous pirana monster stomp downtown, breathing fire in
its wake.
Vegeta glared at Gohan, " You and your big mouth. "Nothing could POSSIBLY happen now",
sheesh. " he said, crossing his arms, " Oh well, I guess it's time for ME to go save the town,
eh? " he smirked, then tried to stand up, then fell back down again, moaning, " Ohhhh, too much
pain.. "
Gohan also attempted to get up, but had the same result.
" Don't you have any senzu seeds! " he asked Gohan, who sighed.
" No, I drank so much coffee I thought I wouldn't need that much extra energy. " he said
sadly, then perked up, " Do you have any-- "
" IF I DID I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO ASK YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE! " Vegeta shouted.
" But, but if we don't have any senzu seeds to eat, then we can't get up, and if we can't
get up, we can't save the town! " Gohan said, panicy.
" No crap, Sherlock. " Vegeta rolled his eyes.
" VEGETA! Those people are helpless back there! "
" Well, maybe they can get "Hercule" to save them instead. " Vegeta snickered.
" DON'T JOKE LIKE THAT! " Gohan said, then grabbed onto a nearby tree & used to hoist
himself up on his feet, " *whew*! " he heaved a sigh, " Vegeta, grab my hand, I'll help you up. "
" NO! You'll get you nasty Kako-germs all over me! "
" BUT WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER IF WE'RE GONNA STOP THAT MONSTER! "
Vegeta huffed, " Feh, like I'm going to work with someone who's related to Kakarrot, yeah
right. " he said. The two paused as something rushed past them, dropping something on the ground
on its way by.
" SENZU SEEDS! " Gohan said, overjoyed as he grabbed one of the beans & ate it, instantly
, his energy came back to him. Vegeta took several & swallowed them in one gulp, then got up &
grinned boastfully at Gohan, who rolled his eyes.
" Who was that? " Gohan said, baffled as he watched the trail of smoke left behind from
the runner who had dropped the seeds.
" Who cares! As soon as I defeat that monster it won't even matter. " Vegeta flew up,
" And neither will you. " he snickered, then zoomed off.
" Err, YOU CAN'T DO THIS! " Gohan said, then flew after him and back into the city.
" HOORAY! HOORAY! " the citizens cheered, all in awe of what had happened just as Gohan &
Vegeta made it to the town.
" What the heck are they cheering about? I haven't saved them yet! " Vegeta exclaimed as
they stood amidst the crowd.
" Wow! He was amazing wasn't he! "
" I couldn't believe it! He took out that creature within seconds! "
" Now that's what I call a real hero! "
" Umm, excuse me, " Gohan said, tapping on the shoulder of one of the citizens, " But, uh
, who are you talking about? "
" Why, the great hero who just saved us that's who! " the citizen answered.
" Well I KNOW THAT! _WHO_ IS HE! " Vegeta snapped.
" Oh, you mean the Saiyan Salmon? He's our new superhero! " the citizen smiled.
" The Saiyan what?? " Gohan said, confused as Vegeta stood there in shock.
" It can't be. It just CAN'T be! " Vegeta said, closing his eyes.
" OH LOOK! Here he is now! " another citizen shouted as Gohan turned around & gasped.
" Please, please don't let it be... " Vegeta prayed, then whipped around & opened his
eyes wide.
" HI EVERYBODY!!! " Goku said in a loud, yet cheery voice, wearing a peachish-pink fish
costume and holding the now-dead giant pirana monster over his back, " FEAR NOT GOOD CITIZENS,
and Veggie, I WILL MAKE SURE THIS FISH GOES TO A PLACE WHERE IT CAN NEVER BOTHER ANY OF YOU
AGAIN!--IN MY STOMACH! And with a little tartar sause this thing'll taste delicious! " he
grinned at them in a cheesy way.
Gohan & Vegeta continued gawking at the figure as all the other citizens burst into
cheers.
" Father? " Gohan trailed off, still unable to grasp Goku was there.
" But--but--but HOW! HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN! HOW CAN KAKARROT BE HERE! HOW CAN HE DO THIS
TO ME AND REMAIN SO CALM! " Vegeta cried, " I WAS COMPETING AGAINST HIS SPAWN--AND I HAD THE
ADVANTAGE! I WAS THE TOWN'S FAVORITE SUPERHERO! AND JUST WHEN I'M ABOUT TO STRIKE GOHAN'S
SUPERHERO CAREER DOWN INTO THE TOILET! WHEN I'M JUST ABOUT TO BECOME NUMBER ONE AT SOMETHING!
WHEN I'M JUST ABOUT TO GET THE RESPECT AND THE LOYALTY AND THE LOVE AND THE WORSHIP THAT I,
AS THE SAIYAJIN PRINCE SO RIGHTFULLY DESERVE....Kakarrot shows up and steals my glory away
from me. " he said bitterly, " It'll always be that way. I'll never escape him, I'll never be
number one, EVEN WHEN HE'S IN OTHER WORLD HE STILL FINDS A WAY TO TAUNT MY SOUL!!!! WHY! WHY!
WHY KAKARROT! WHY!!! " he howled down on his knees, beating his fists against the ground.
" Because it's my job. " Goku answered Vegeta, staring at him curiously.
" I KNOW IT'S YOUR JOB BAKAYARO! YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT! "
" No, no, remember when I told way back in the beginning of Part 2 that I've been doing
part-time jobs for free-days here on Earth? "
" Yes Kakarrot, I remember. " Vegeta said in a tired voice.
" Well, meet my new temporary part-time job! Fish Superhero! You know, answer B). " Goku
explained happily, then rubbed Vegeta on the head, " I think I've been doing a pretty good job
so far, huh! "
" Yeah Dad, amazing! " Gohan smiled, staring at the huge fish monster.
Goku nodded, " Thanks! But I'm only gonna be doing this for a couple days anyway. "
" So, this, "salmon", thing, is only temporary? " Vegeta inquired suspicously.
" YUP! " Goku grinned, then snapped his fingers, " HEY! I just got a great idea! Let's
go back to the park! We can roast the fish and eat it there! It'll be fun! "
" REALLY DAD? " Gohan said excitedly.
" Uh-huh! " Goku said, then turned to the crowd, " ANYONE WHO WANTS FISH FOLLOW ME! " he
shouted, then flew off w/Gohan, the crowd running after them, leaving Vegeta standing alone in
the middle of the street.
" WAIT STOP! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING! " he screamed at the crowd, " _I'M_ THE
HERO! NOT KAKARROT! I SAVED YOU WORTHLESS IDIOTS FROM FLOODS! AND FIRES! I STOPPED YOUR THIEVES
AND BURGLARS AND I EVEN SAVED THAT STUPID CAT FROM THAT TREE! "
A little boy stopped & looked over his shoulder at him, " We're going back to the park
with our NEW hero. "
" But, WHAT ABOUT _ME_!! " Vegeta shouted.
" Oh, you're old news. Here, superheroes are like fads, you're new, then you're in, then
you're out. And YOU are out. " he pointed at Vegeta, " The Saiyan Salmon's our hero NOW. " he
smirked then ran off.
Vegeta glared at the boy, wondering if he should throw a ki-blast at him. He decided
against it, then hung his head, depressed. Vegeta sighed, then felt a tug on his pant leg &
looked down to see the little girl who had told Gohan before about the gift shop. She smiled up
at him admirably, still wearing her Masked Avenger t-shirt.
She hugged his leg, then looked up at Vegeta, " Everybody needs a hero, " she whispered
to him, then smiled, " and you're still mine. "
" ... " Vegeta stared down at her, his mouth hanging open. He thought for a moment,
" Uhhh...thank you. " he stammered. The little girl let go of his leg, then skipped off, " Hey?
Where're you going? "
" To the park! " she answered.
" So you're deserting me too, eh? "
" Nope! " the little girl smiled, " I just like fish! Goodbye Masked Avenger! " she waved
to him, then disappeared into the woods that led to the park.
Vegeta paused for a second, then smiled proudly and laughed, " AHH HA HA! DID YOU SEE
THAT ONE, KAKARROT! " he shouted up at the sky, " YOU DIDN'T DEFEAT ME AFTER ALL! IF THAT LITTLE
KID STILL BELIEVES IN ME THAT MEANS YOU DIDN'T WIN OVER THE _WHOLE_ TOWN! HAHA! IN YOUR FACE
BAKAYARO! " he boasted. Then took off the black bandana he had over his eyes, " Even a small
victory over you is sweet. And if this is how a small victory feels, then just think how
entoxicating it will be WHEN I DEFEAT YOU IN BATTLE! " Vegeta said, pulling off his red cape, " I
think I'm going to have to limit this crimefighting of mine. I have more important things to do,
and I have to train to defeat you. HAHA! YOU JUST WAIT KAKARROT! HAVE YOUR FUN PLAYING FISH-MAN
NOW! I'LL JUST BECOME STRONGER THAN YOU! Heh, yeah. You just wait... "
*************************************************************************************************
12:24 PM 10/6/01
THE END
Goku: Hmm, wow. Veggie was a little more in-character in that one then most of our
stories.
Chuquita: Yeah, well, for some reason he tends to do that whenever I have him starring opposite
anybody other than you. It's harder to exaggerate him when his
most-hated-enemy/big-buddy/mindless-obsession isn't playing such a big role.
Goku: Ohh.
Vegeta: [thumbing through Chu's "Big Book of Author Spells" for a cure to the "Tattletale" spell]
Goku: [pointing to Veggie] Should he be doing that?
Chuquita: Doing what?
Goku: I mean, is he allowed to do that?
Chuquita: [glances over at Veggie, who's reading down the column for a cure] AHH! (angrily)
VEGGIE!
Vegeta: [looks up] What? [looks down at the book, then sweatdrops] [grins cheesily up at Chu]
Heh, oh, this. I was just, umm, I happened to notice the pages in your book were bent and I was
trying to, umm, un-bend them. (big cheesy smile)
Chuquita: [grabs the book out of Veggie's hands] (glaring) Sure you were. [flips through her
book]
Goku: (excited) OOHEY! What're you gonna do to Veggie now!
Chuquita: Hmm, I dunno. So far we've changed him into an idiot, turned his hair pink, driven
him temporarily insane, changed him into our servant, had him wash your feet, changed his outfit
into a pink ballerina costume, turned him into a plush-toy, turned him into a baby---and then
Chi-Chi made him our butler, and there's that "Tattletale" spell I put one him a couple Corner's
ago and...and I think that's about it.
Goku: Wow, that's a lotta stuff. Is it all in order?
Chuquita: Mmm...I think so. [still flipping through the pages] This is I can't think of any
more spells that'll teach him a lesson for what he just did. (sadly) But I couldn't have used up
all the good ones already.. (brightens up) HEY! [points to one spell] This one's perfect!
Goku: OOH! LEMMIE SEE! [zips over to her, Vegeta standing behind them, shifting uncomfortably]
Chuquita: Ahh, here it is, the "Double-Dare" spell. It's just like the Tattletale one, only this
one's the physical version.
Goku: You mean like when you made Veggie our servant?
Chuquita: No, not really. That spell just made him tend to our every whim. With this one it's
not so much cleaning after us. It's more like, if I ordered him to do a little dance for us the
spell would force him to do so. He'll have control over his mind, just not his body.
Goku: COOoOoOooOoOOoOoOOl! I wanna see Veggie to a little Veggie dance!
Vegeta: (angrily) I DO NOT DANCE!
Chuquita: [zaps Veggie] (smirking) You do now.
