A/n & disclaimer: I heard this song a little while ago it's a new release
by J-Lo that screams Buffy and Spike soo..here it is! First things first,
Buffy and the her little friend I used in this fic does not belong to me!
(though I really wish Spike was.. hehe so for now, *imagines* Spike is real
*Spike pops up outta nowhere* AND I GET TO HAVE FUN FOR A LITTLE BIT) ...
however, Joss Whedon does .... so all a innocent (..sure...) fourteen year
old (like MOI ) could do is dream (that Spike is real and I get to have
fun like kick the crap outta DRUSILLA..hehe) and this is to prove my teach
of a teacher how well I write!...Yess Mrs. Barlongo! I write!....um.. okay
no flames please! R/R! and email me at: Lovely_Amara@yahoo.com
~
Ain't It Funny by: Azn
[Estoy loca enamorada de ti
It seemed to be like the perfect thing for you and me
It's so ironic you're what I had pictured you to be]
She closed her eyes and allowed the wind to play with her hair. Cold. Lonely. Her mind raced with thoughts and emotions she no longer could hold in or bear with. Endless pain. But that was her, always falling for the things that go bump in the night. It wasn't her fault, irregardless of their nature she loved them like a regular lover. Then, it struck her. HE was everything her child-dreams-of -a-perfect-guy would be.
Hastily opening her eyes, she gasped coming eye to eye, and a few inches away from his face.
"What are you doing here?" she snapped her true emotions again hiding behind a front like it usually does.
"Something I was going to ask you, slayer?" he diverted his eyes never leaving hers "so? are you gonna answer my question or are we going to have to stand here for hours and play stupid and stubborn?"
Buffy shifted her gaze away from his eyes. Afraid to get lost in them.
[But there are facts in our lives we can never change
Just tell me that you understand and feel the same]
"Nothing.." she lied her hair dancing wildly in the breeze.
"Nothing" Spike repeated, still watching her "so lets review, your out here in the bloody cold doing..Nothing? for quite a while, I thought you died by just standing there .. but really is that accomplishable?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Were you watching me, Spike?" Buffy asked annoyed, she stared at him. His eyes .. an unusual blue color was telling her something -perhaps secrets he could never tell a soul. But being Buffy, she chose not to listen.
"Maybe.. maybe not?" he dodged the answer he wanted to say. Yes I was he thought. Too bad Buffy couldn't read minds or she could have know how much he wanted her.
[This perfect romance that I've created in my mind
I'd live a thousand lives each one with you right by my side]
Buffy shrugged the thought of getting an answer. There was no way of finding out right now -maybe some other day or years when she grows out of the child games. Mutual feelings. That's all it was and will always be.
[But yet we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance
And so it seems like we'll never have the chance]
Running, she kept running as fast as her legs carried her. Fear, she felt took over and she was more confused in the situation than she ever was. She needed help, but it was only her and the unknown that chased her.
"Having fun?" she heard it sneer. It was close, not that far away from her.
Buffy closed her eyes hoping this was all another nightmare. It wasn't try as she might it could never be "don't run slayer .. face me, like the courageous bitch they say you are..." it cackled and Buffy's body was thrown across the ground, she winced as her body came in full contact with pain. Opening her eyes, what she saw shocked her -it was herself.
"Who are you?" she demanded, the unknown chuckled and Buffy watched as a full projection of herself grinned.
"I am you .." it said darkly "the part of you that you ignore. I long for happiness and love, Buffy and you can't fulfill that for me -for us" it grinned again "so I decided I do it on my own, but you see the world can't handle two Buffys so... I'm going to kill you, Sslowly..."
"Wha-?"
"That's right, kill you ... I don't want you alive anymore ... because I won't need you" it sneered as it grabbed Buffy by the neck and slammed her against a tree trunk. Buffy struggled and she tried her best to breathe. She maintained the small inhales and exhales, yet she knew inside her lungs and the rest of her body parts would not be able to work under her troubled conditions. Seeing the evil glint in her murderer's eyes Buffy braced herself as she was again thrown to the earthy ground.
"Die, Buffy Summers, Die..." it whispered harshly lashing out it's powers to her.
Buffy felt even more pain and the burden of her body increased. It felt as if she was going to die as the unknown lunged itself on top of her.
Spike, she thought, realizing he wasn't there and the fight she was in was between her and herself Buffy managed to kick the evil monstrosity off her.
"You not me..." Buffy growled "I'm more prettier than you..." she attacked with all her strength and dodged with ease. Her body moved like moving poetry. Every singled punch and kick were in motion and in set to a beat.
There was no way she was going to die. With things she haven't seen, and feelings haven't felt - no way. To never see her family, her friends, and Spike. Caught off guard by a familiar figure who entered himself onto the fight, she was sent to the ground.
"Are you okay there, Pet?" he asked dodging an attack from her evil half.
Buffy growled as she got up.
"Never better..." she replied as she watched Spike, who too was surprise to find another Buffy.
"Look, what we have here -another Slayer?" he joked, he knew it got to Buffy on account to the smack he received on his head "What?.. true isn't it? well, the brod looks hot.. I wonder if she interested?"
Buffy gave another smack at Spike's head as she threw a punch at her evil self.
"Were in the middle of something here and all you can think of is this other me?!" she yelled to spike as he dodged an attack from the evil Buffy.
Holding her into place, She reached down into her coat and pulled out a stake. Thrusting it into it's heart the evil Buffy turned to dust. Looking over her shoulder she saw Spike grinning.
[Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny
And you can't move on even though you try]
Buffy rose to her feet. It struck her again. Her other half mentioned how it was exactly like her, but when Buffy had stabbed it with her stake it dusted itself into ashes. Could that mean anything/ or at least tell her what she wanted the most? -yes it did.
" I didn't need your help Spike.." she looked at him, hiding her emotions again "why?"
Spike sighed.
[Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel
Oh I wish this could be real]
"Why?...does it always have to be a why?" he gave a big dramatic sigh "Why were you watching me? ... Why did you help me? ...Why Spike? Why?!" Spike caught Buffys's gaze "Slayer, did it ever occur to you in that brain of yours that sometimes .. I don't need you to ask me to help you, come to your aid, to watch you ... well?'
[Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life
And you don't want to face what's wrong or right]
Buffy shrugged her shoulders, she didn't know exactly just what to say. Spike read her face and saw it. He wasn't sure of it, but he saw it -a spark.
"Exactly..." he answered spinning his heels to walk away.
Buffy hesitated as she watched Spike leave.
"Spike.." she called out, Spike turned around and listened "Thank you"
Spike nodded and smiled.
"Slayer, your going to have to reward me something more than a thank you.." he replied disappearing into the night.
[Ain't it strange how fate can play a part
In the story of your heart]
Buffy stood dumbfounded. Sighing she gave up. Needless to say, she couldn't understand the depths and meaning of what Spike had mentioned to her. Retreating to her bedroom, where she engulfed into the meaningless dreams that rarely kept her happy, Buffy fell asleep unaware of the figure in her room that watched her. And as the morning dawned for a new day, he disappeared.
[Sometimes I think that a true love can never be
I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant to me]
"I don't get it, will?" she sighed at the redheaded girl "It's complicated"
Willow glanced at her friend. This wasn't the first time Buffy had fallen into a situation like this.
"I mean .. it's like I need him and half the day I all of a sudden spend my time thinking how stupid, and arrogant he is ..." Buffy groaned in confusion "This is messed up..."
Willow smiled.
"Don't worry, Buff" she patted her shoulder "The answer will come to you one way or another -but since were dealing with Spike here.." she paused "The answer will come to you someday..."
Buffy gave a short laugh.
[Life can be cruel in a way that I can't explain
And I don't think that I could face it all again]
Spike. This was Spike she was thinking of. Vampire, fangs -Why Spike? she retorted hitting her forehead medium softly with her fist. She had been patrolling for quite a while now, dusted a few vampires and yet, she had no destination in mind. Buffy gave a loud sigh, still pounding her head a bit harder this time. It felt as if she was dealing with Angel, again. Angel. She had loved him. She had killed him. End of story. But would it be like that? would Buffy kill Spike?
"Does your head hurt or you haven't felt anything yet?" a voiced asked -it was Spike.
"No, I'm attempting to pound my way through my head" Buffy replied, she felt uneasy now with Spike around. Silence fell.
[I barely know you but somehow I know what you're about
A deeper love I've found in you, and I no longer doubt]
Spike cleared his throat.
"I think we need to talk.." he answered breaking the silence that had been held for quite sometime now.
Buffy gave a laugh that ended quickly.
"No...I don't think we should.." she began to walk faster until a hand caught her and slowed her pace.
"Yes.. we do, Buffy"
He had called her by her name -he hadn't noticed it, but buffy did. Taking a deep breath she gave in and turned around.
"What about.." she whispered looking at her feet and the ground.
[You've touched my heart and it altered every plan I've made
And now I feel that I don't have to be afraid]
"I'm not down there, pet" he answered reaching for her chin to lift it to meet his eye "About us..."
Buffy held her breath as she felt his soft touch.
"There's nothing.." she answered turning away "Why should there be?"
Spike was angered and he it in.
"But there is..." he replied facing her "I know you feel it..."
[Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny
And you can't move on even though you try
Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel
Oh I wish this could be real]
"Feel what?..." Spike's eyes looked deep into hers searching for answers -searching for truth, But Buffy did her best for not showing it "I can't tell emotionally anymore .." Buffy paused, not wanting to bring Angel into the conversation.
"That there is something between us... you know Buffy your too scared to admit it.." he accused, Buffy stared at him.
"It's an illusion, Spike.." she told him, knowing he won't buy it "It'll pass"
"Pass?" he didn't buy it.
[Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life
And you don't want to face what's wrong or right
Ain't it strange how fate can play a part]
He stared at her hardly. How could she say she had no feelings for him when he could tell by just looking in her eyes. Lust fell from them and so did pain. She was scared. to open herself up then having to fall back down again. Her wounds from Angel did not heal just quite yet. And in time she will, and Spike was determined she will. But how could she stand there all banged up and pained and say there was no feelings for him -when it created more pain and a new wound.
"It can't go away.." Spike growled "The need to hold you, protect you, and love you can't and will never pass...."
Buffy looked at him.
"Why...I-I mean you have to..." she replied "You have to"
"It won't, Buffy" he stated as if it was his firm decision "I won't let it"
Buffy now glared at him, unaware of her actions she slapped him.
"Spike, you have too" she demanded as Spike retaliated and attacked her in response.
"Your quite hardheaded, Slayer" he retorted "I won't let it go because I love you.."
Glaring even harder, she punched him. Buffy's clenched fist meeting his stomach.
"The stop loving me.."
"It's not as easy as you think... when I think about you everyday, how your hair just falls into the right places making me want to brush it off, imagining how soft your lips could be, how so high superior you can be and at the same time look sexy doing it?! and then you expect me to let you go like that?, I don't think I can, Buffy..." he hovered over her.
[I locked away my heart
But you just set it free]
"It's hard... get it through your head, Slayer ... I love you ... I mean it -I really love you, Buffy"
Tears stream down her face, she couldn't take it.
"Get off me, Spike.." she whispered. Spike obeyed.
Getting up, she stared at him.
"I-I don't want this.. 'cause I know I can't take it. I've been thinking if this feeling is totally what it is or maybe something else. But whatever it is it's too much for me too hold any longer.....
[Emotions I felt held me back from what my life should be
I pushed you far away
And yet you stayed with me]
.... There were so many times I didn't want you with me, so many times I thought that by just killing you would make my problems go away... but it doesn't...it doesn't and I wonder why after all this time I mentioned I hated you, It still didn't keep you away... I want to believe what your eyes keep telling me .. but their just words that I'm getting tired of..... so now I'm standing here right in front of you and I'll ask you just what are you doing here for......."
Spike stepped forward and grabbed her shoulders.
"I'm just a guy in front of a girl asking her to love him...."he dodged.
And that was it, all she needed -no explanations, no questions WHY.
[I guess this means
That you and me were meant to be]
Spike forced his lips to hers, searching and at the same time inviting. Buffy accepted.
~
Ain't It Funny by: Azn
[Estoy loca enamorada de ti
It seemed to be like the perfect thing for you and me
It's so ironic you're what I had pictured you to be]
She closed her eyes and allowed the wind to play with her hair. Cold. Lonely. Her mind raced with thoughts and emotions she no longer could hold in or bear with. Endless pain. But that was her, always falling for the things that go bump in the night. It wasn't her fault, irregardless of their nature she loved them like a regular lover. Then, it struck her. HE was everything her child-dreams-of -a-perfect-guy would be.
Hastily opening her eyes, she gasped coming eye to eye, and a few inches away from his face.
"What are you doing here?" she snapped her true emotions again hiding behind a front like it usually does.
"Something I was going to ask you, slayer?" he diverted his eyes never leaving hers "so? are you gonna answer my question or are we going to have to stand here for hours and play stupid and stubborn?"
Buffy shifted her gaze away from his eyes. Afraid to get lost in them.
[But there are facts in our lives we can never change
Just tell me that you understand and feel the same]
"Nothing.." she lied her hair dancing wildly in the breeze.
"Nothing" Spike repeated, still watching her "so lets review, your out here in the bloody cold doing..Nothing? for quite a while, I thought you died by just standing there .. but really is that accomplishable?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Were you watching me, Spike?" Buffy asked annoyed, she stared at him. His eyes .. an unusual blue color was telling her something -perhaps secrets he could never tell a soul. But being Buffy, she chose not to listen.
"Maybe.. maybe not?" he dodged the answer he wanted to say. Yes I was he thought. Too bad Buffy couldn't read minds or she could have know how much he wanted her.
[This perfect romance that I've created in my mind
I'd live a thousand lives each one with you right by my side]
Buffy shrugged the thought of getting an answer. There was no way of finding out right now -maybe some other day or years when she grows out of the child games. Mutual feelings. That's all it was and will always be.
[But yet we find ourselves in a less than perfect circumstance
And so it seems like we'll never have the chance]
Running, she kept running as fast as her legs carried her. Fear, she felt took over and she was more confused in the situation than she ever was. She needed help, but it was only her and the unknown that chased her.
"Having fun?" she heard it sneer. It was close, not that far away from her.
Buffy closed her eyes hoping this was all another nightmare. It wasn't try as she might it could never be "don't run slayer .. face me, like the courageous bitch they say you are..." it cackled and Buffy's body was thrown across the ground, she winced as her body came in full contact with pain. Opening her eyes, what she saw shocked her -it was herself.
"Who are you?" she demanded, the unknown chuckled and Buffy watched as a full projection of herself grinned.
"I am you .." it said darkly "the part of you that you ignore. I long for happiness and love, Buffy and you can't fulfill that for me -for us" it grinned again "so I decided I do it on my own, but you see the world can't handle two Buffys so... I'm going to kill you, Sslowly..."
"Wha-?"
"That's right, kill you ... I don't want you alive anymore ... because I won't need you" it sneered as it grabbed Buffy by the neck and slammed her against a tree trunk. Buffy struggled and she tried her best to breathe. She maintained the small inhales and exhales, yet she knew inside her lungs and the rest of her body parts would not be able to work under her troubled conditions. Seeing the evil glint in her murderer's eyes Buffy braced herself as she was again thrown to the earthy ground.
"Die, Buffy Summers, Die..." it whispered harshly lashing out it's powers to her.
Buffy felt even more pain and the burden of her body increased. It felt as if she was going to die as the unknown lunged itself on top of her.
Spike, she thought, realizing he wasn't there and the fight she was in was between her and herself Buffy managed to kick the evil monstrosity off her.
"You not me..." Buffy growled "I'm more prettier than you..." she attacked with all her strength and dodged with ease. Her body moved like moving poetry. Every singled punch and kick were in motion and in set to a beat.
There was no way she was going to die. With things she haven't seen, and feelings haven't felt - no way. To never see her family, her friends, and Spike. Caught off guard by a familiar figure who entered himself onto the fight, she was sent to the ground.
"Are you okay there, Pet?" he asked dodging an attack from her evil half.
Buffy growled as she got up.
"Never better..." she replied as she watched Spike, who too was surprise to find another Buffy.
"Look, what we have here -another Slayer?" he joked, he knew it got to Buffy on account to the smack he received on his head "What?.. true isn't it? well, the brod looks hot.. I wonder if she interested?"
Buffy gave another smack at Spike's head as she threw a punch at her evil self.
"Were in the middle of something here and all you can think of is this other me?!" she yelled to spike as he dodged an attack from the evil Buffy.
Holding her into place, She reached down into her coat and pulled out a stake. Thrusting it into it's heart the evil Buffy turned to dust. Looking over her shoulder she saw Spike grinning.
[Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny
And you can't move on even though you try]
Buffy rose to her feet. It struck her again. Her other half mentioned how it was exactly like her, but when Buffy had stabbed it with her stake it dusted itself into ashes. Could that mean anything/ or at least tell her what she wanted the most? -yes it did.
" I didn't need your help Spike.." she looked at him, hiding her emotions again "why?"
Spike sighed.
[Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel
Oh I wish this could be real]
"Why?...does it always have to be a why?" he gave a big dramatic sigh "Why were you watching me? ... Why did you help me? ...Why Spike? Why?!" Spike caught Buffys's gaze "Slayer, did it ever occur to you in that brain of yours that sometimes .. I don't need you to ask me to help you, come to your aid, to watch you ... well?'
[Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life
And you don't want to face what's wrong or right]
Buffy shrugged her shoulders, she didn't know exactly just what to say. Spike read her face and saw it. He wasn't sure of it, but he saw it -a spark.
"Exactly..." he answered spinning his heels to walk away.
Buffy hesitated as she watched Spike leave.
"Spike.." she called out, Spike turned around and listened "Thank you"
Spike nodded and smiled.
"Slayer, your going to have to reward me something more than a thank you.." he replied disappearing into the night.
[Ain't it strange how fate can play a part
In the story of your heart]
Buffy stood dumbfounded. Sighing she gave up. Needless to say, she couldn't understand the depths and meaning of what Spike had mentioned to her. Retreating to her bedroom, where she engulfed into the meaningless dreams that rarely kept her happy, Buffy fell asleep unaware of the figure in her room that watched her. And as the morning dawned for a new day, he disappeared.
[Sometimes I think that a true love can never be
I just believe that somehow it wasn't meant to me]
"I don't get it, will?" she sighed at the redheaded girl "It's complicated"
Willow glanced at her friend. This wasn't the first time Buffy had fallen into a situation like this.
"I mean .. it's like I need him and half the day I all of a sudden spend my time thinking how stupid, and arrogant he is ..." Buffy groaned in confusion "This is messed up..."
Willow smiled.
"Don't worry, Buff" she patted her shoulder "The answer will come to you one way or another -but since were dealing with Spike here.." she paused "The answer will come to you someday..."
Buffy gave a short laugh.
[Life can be cruel in a way that I can't explain
And I don't think that I could face it all again]
Spike. This was Spike she was thinking of. Vampire, fangs -Why Spike? she retorted hitting her forehead medium softly with her fist. She had been patrolling for quite a while now, dusted a few vampires and yet, she had no destination in mind. Buffy gave a loud sigh, still pounding her head a bit harder this time. It felt as if she was dealing with Angel, again. Angel. She had loved him. She had killed him. End of story. But would it be like that? would Buffy kill Spike?
"Does your head hurt or you haven't felt anything yet?" a voiced asked -it was Spike.
"No, I'm attempting to pound my way through my head" Buffy replied, she felt uneasy now with Spike around. Silence fell.
[I barely know you but somehow I know what you're about
A deeper love I've found in you, and I no longer doubt]
Spike cleared his throat.
"I think we need to talk.." he answered breaking the silence that had been held for quite sometime now.
Buffy gave a laugh that ended quickly.
"No...I don't think we should.." she began to walk faster until a hand caught her and slowed her pace.
"Yes.. we do, Buffy"
He had called her by her name -he hadn't noticed it, but buffy did. Taking a deep breath she gave in and turned around.
"What about.." she whispered looking at her feet and the ground.
[You've touched my heart and it altered every plan I've made
And now I feel that I don't have to be afraid]
"I'm not down there, pet" he answered reaching for her chin to lift it to meet his eye "About us..."
Buffy held her breath as she felt his soft touch.
"There's nothing.." she answered turning away "Why should there be?"
Spike was angered and he it in.
"But there is..." he replied facing her "I know you feel it..."
[Ain't it funny how some feelings you just can't deny
And you can't move on even though you try
Ain't it strange when you're feeling things you shouldn't feel
Oh I wish this could be real]
"Feel what?..." Spike's eyes looked deep into hers searching for answers -searching for truth, But Buffy did her best for not showing it "I can't tell emotionally anymore .." Buffy paused, not wanting to bring Angel into the conversation.
"That there is something between us... you know Buffy your too scared to admit it.." he accused, Buffy stared at him.
"It's an illusion, Spike.." she told him, knowing he won't buy it "It'll pass"
"Pass?" he didn't buy it.
[Ain't it funny how a moment could just change your life
And you don't want to face what's wrong or right
Ain't it strange how fate can play a part]
He stared at her hardly. How could she say she had no feelings for him when he could tell by just looking in her eyes. Lust fell from them and so did pain. She was scared. to open herself up then having to fall back down again. Her wounds from Angel did not heal just quite yet. And in time she will, and Spike was determined she will. But how could she stand there all banged up and pained and say there was no feelings for him -when it created more pain and a new wound.
"It can't go away.." Spike growled "The need to hold you, protect you, and love you can't and will never pass...."
Buffy looked at him.
"Why...I-I mean you have to..." she replied "You have to"
"It won't, Buffy" he stated as if it was his firm decision "I won't let it"
Buffy now glared at him, unaware of her actions she slapped him.
"Spike, you have too" she demanded as Spike retaliated and attacked her in response.
"Your quite hardheaded, Slayer" he retorted "I won't let it go because I love you.."
Glaring even harder, she punched him. Buffy's clenched fist meeting his stomach.
"The stop loving me.."
"It's not as easy as you think... when I think about you everyday, how your hair just falls into the right places making me want to brush it off, imagining how soft your lips could be, how so high superior you can be and at the same time look sexy doing it?! and then you expect me to let you go like that?, I don't think I can, Buffy..." he hovered over her.
[I locked away my heart
But you just set it free]
"It's hard... get it through your head, Slayer ... I love you ... I mean it -I really love you, Buffy"
Tears stream down her face, she couldn't take it.
"Get off me, Spike.." she whispered. Spike obeyed.
Getting up, she stared at him.
"I-I don't want this.. 'cause I know I can't take it. I've been thinking if this feeling is totally what it is or maybe something else. But whatever it is it's too much for me too hold any longer.....
[Emotions I felt held me back from what my life should be
I pushed you far away
And yet you stayed with me]
.... There were so many times I didn't want you with me, so many times I thought that by just killing you would make my problems go away... but it doesn't...it doesn't and I wonder why after all this time I mentioned I hated you, It still didn't keep you away... I want to believe what your eyes keep telling me .. but their just words that I'm getting tired of..... so now I'm standing here right in front of you and I'll ask you just what are you doing here for......."
Spike stepped forward and grabbed her shoulders.
"I'm just a guy in front of a girl asking her to love him...."he dodged.
And that was it, all she needed -no explanations, no questions WHY.
[I guess this means
That you and me were meant to be]
Spike forced his lips to hers, searching and at the same time inviting. Buffy accepted.
