Chapter 3

Josh stayed up all night, and didn't go down for breakfast the next morning either. He ignored the gnawing feeling of hunger, and drank some water to keep his head clear. So this was how it felt to be thirteen...It didn't feel much different. Another sip of water, as he watched the mist rise from the fields.

Then he saw her. His heart took a leap as he spotted a young girl, dressed in a white robe, making her way over the fields. Her shoulderlong brown hair moved a little, as if there was a wind moving around only her, because the few strands of mist that was left didn't move. And it was her! He knew it! He had to talk to her! Why she was here, and not in Downtown New York where he had last seen her, he didn't worry about. She was here, and he needed to talk to her. He jumped up, and held on to the windowsill a couple of seconds to steady his slightly wobbly knees, and then ran out of his room.

As he came towards the stairs, he noted something seemed to be going on down in the hall, but he didn't have time to wonder what it might be. He leapt down the stairs, taking two or three steps at the time, and he didn't see it untill it was to late.

There seemed to be redecorating going on, with Rogue in command, and most furniture had been moved, amongst them a small table. It had been temporarily placed directly in front of the stairs, leaving only a narrow passage where someone might get through, if they weren't running. Logan and Remy were lifting another table, and moving it around while joking and sighing as Rogue kept changing her mind. Josh could see it all as if in slow motion. There was a very beautiful vase on the table. It had longstemed creamcoloured roses in it. He tried to dodge to the side, but his hand touched the soft glass, it wobbled, and then - the crash came, just as he managed to stop. Time returned, and Josh stared at the glass on the floor. Then he slowly lifted his gaze, and froze, like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck.

'Hey, what do ya think you're doin'?!' Rogue flew towards Josh, or more correctly, towards the shattered pieces of glass on the floor. 'Jus' look at it, will ya! This one was my favourite, ya little...!' She knelt down at the floor and started to pick up the pieces, while she talked, but she was interupted by a very quiet voice. 'Cherie...stop dat.' She looked over her shoulder, and frowned at Remy. 'But will ya jus' look at it! He's runnin' down my new wase, and...' 'Dat's enough, Rogue. Look at 'im.' She looked up at Josh, and then blinked. 'What...? Remy, why does he look ...?'

Josh had pulled back, inside himself, where nothing could harm him. He couldn't feel oaths, hits or bruises in there. It was as if he went somewhere else, and left just his body to take whatever the punishment might be. His eyes were empty, and his fists were clenched, as well as his jaw. He was prepared for the hit or push he knew would come, but he wouldn't cry or scream. He even refused to tremble as he waited. But one thought he couldn't hide from. It echoed inside his mind. (Please, don't throw me out, please let me stay, I'll behave from now, I promise, just let me stay..) But he knew that it was to much to ask. He knew that he should count himself lucky if all he got now was a showe out the door and the sound of it slaming shut behind him.

'Go get a new vase for dose flowers, cherie...and y' go 'elp 'er, Logan.' They did as Remy said, for once without arguing, they just gave the pale Josh a worried look. Then they left him alone with the cajun thief in the hallway.

'Josh...y' make me disappointed...' Remys quiet voice moved something inside the void where Josh had fled. He fought to stand still and not run as Remy slowly walked over towards him, and knelt down at the shards, picking one up before he met Josh's gaze. 'W'at's dis?' he asked, and held up the shard. Josh suprised himself by answering, stuttering and stumbling over the words, 'I...it's broken, Remy...sir, I..I'll fix it...I'll pay for it...' (Oh, please, let me stay, don't throw me out, please...) A hand landed on his shoulder, and Remy looked sad, as Josh flinched. ''tis a -thin'-, Josh. A thin' dat can be replaced.' But he removed his hand.

Josh couldn't bring himself to believe what he heard. 'Bu..but I broke it...' he said, amazed that he could even talk when those eyes met his gaze. Remy shook his head. 'Did y' mean t' break it?' Josh shook his head furiously. 'Non? Den why are y' affraid, Josh?' And Josh knew that his hope was broken. The real pain wouldn't come from being thrown out, it would come earlier, when Remy hit him. That was when he would break down.

'Please...I just saw her...and...I needed to talk to her before...she went away....' His voice faded when he realised how stupid he did sound. Running through the house just because he saw a girl outside? Remy tilted his head, and frowned. 'Y' saw someone y' know here? And hurried, because y' thoug't she'd disappear?' Josh nodded slowly, and looked down. 'I'm sorry...I'm thoughtless, I'm just thinking of myself and shouldn't have ran, I should have followed the rules...' He couldn't stop himself. He'd call himself anything, just as long as they let him stay. Remy held up a hand, with the palm against him, and Josh silenced instantly as he tensed. 'Oh, merde! Woul' y' stop dat! Noone's gonna hit ya'!' Remy snapped, and then shook his head as Josh opened his mouth to appologize. 'Non, I'm sorry...' He drew his breath and then patted on the step next to him. 'Won't y' come 'ere, homme? Sit down...If Kitty's still 't de lake, I bet she don't wan' any visitor right now.' A strange smile played over the older mans lips, and Josh froze all over inside. 'I...I think I'll stand here...sir...' The smile on Remys lips faded, as he seemed to understand. Josh blushed, and aimed his gaze towards the wall. 'I'll...go back...I'm sorry...' he mumbled, and then he ran past Gambit where he sat on the stairs, and left more than one unanswered question hanging behind him.