11/22/01: ff.net doesn't like me, or something. I couldn't upload this chapter for the longest time! Well, it's here now, and that's all that matters.

My Muse said this chapter was too short, but then again, about three of her chapters equal one of mine. I think she was just noting that it isn't as long as my others. This one is definitely PG-13 for what happens toward the end. Enjoy!

Episode 9:

Dealing With the Pain

Usagi stared out her window with her head resting on her folded arms. It was raining, but she didn't notice. All she noticed was a severe depression deep within her.

She had killed. That was the only thought running through her mind. Every once in a while, tears ran down her cheeks, but she didn't even move to wipe them away. Every fiber of her being told her that she deserved the same fate she dealt that poor soldier.

A part of her mind that wasn't stricken with grief - a very small part - was able to wonder about the fact that the body didn't disappear, as did every previous enemy since she had crossed paths with Luna. The corpse had remained on Minako's front lawn until the authorities came to deal with it. The Senshi came up with a story for Minako to give the police while Jeff and Mamoru laid false tracks for the cops to find.

That was another thing Usagi felt guilty for. She had endangered the secret identities of the Senshi. Another set of tears ran down her face at the thought. These, she did wipe away. She tried to get her mind off of it by focusing on something else.

Outside, she saw Jeff sitting under a tree. He was completely dry, as was the patch of ground he had been sitting on for the past few hours. The rain didn't even touch him.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Jeff shifted to a different sitting position against the tree in Usagi's yard. Despite sitting on his ass for four hours and watching Usagi stare out her window, he still felt fresh because of the rain. It recharged him. He was getting terribly bored, though. Using a little of his control over the Storm to keep him dry kept a little of his interest, but the monotony was getting to him. He couldn't give up his post, though. As Royal Protector, he had to keep watch over the Princess.

He stood and walked away from the tree, into the rain. He stopped using his power and let the raindrops hit him. He smiled as they hit his face, luxuriating in the caress of the Storm. He felt like laughing. This was almost as good as the feeling he got when he was with Ami.

Looking up to the sky, he noticed Usagi still staring out her window. He realized this rain wasn't a rain for pleasure. It was one of sorrow. Using his power again, he was dry and the raindrops seemed to ignore him again. Resuming his post beneath the tree, he prayed that Usagi would feel better soon.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Rei switched her umbrella to her other hand and rang Usagi's doorbell. While she waited for an answer, she looked back at Jeff, who was still under the tree. Jeff saw her looking at him and nodded in acknowledgement.

Rei knew why he was there and she knew how he felt, otherwise she wouldn't be here, but sometimes he acted too creepy for her tastes. Even the way the rain seemed to ignore him was creepy.

"Hello, Rei," a voice from behind her made her jump and spin around. She felt a little silly when she noticed Usagi's mother standing at the door.

"Hello, Mrs. Tsukino," said Rei.

"You're here to see Usagi, aren't you?" asked Ikuko Tsukino. Her face was a mask of concern. She moved aside to let Rei inside as she continued talking. "I've been so worried about her. I've never seen her like this. The other girls have visited, too. They didn't seem to help at all. In fact, they seemed a little more depressed after they left, as if Usagi had worked on them, or something." She glanced out the window. "I wonder about that boy. I know he's a friend and all, but why is he staying out there?" Ikuko put a finger to her lips as she thought of something. "He looks like that famous violinist, Michiru Kaiou, doesn't he?"
Rei nearly tripped. Of course, he did. They were twins! She started to point that out, but stopped. Just as she was about to speak, she had looked out the window, and Jeff shook his head at her. For some reason, he didn't want her to tell Mrs. Tsukino about his relation to Michiru. Rei wasn't particularly freaked out about the fact that he knew. She knew that the Ruby had to be here, somewhere, and that it probably told him about the conversation.

"Is Usagi in her room?" asked Rei.

"Yes," replied Ikuko, "Go right up. I hope you can help her."

* * * * * * * * * * *

The first time Usagi heard the knock at the door, she didn't answer. She didn't answer the second or third knock, either. Finally, the person at the door just came in, anyway. Rei crossed the room to sit next to her friend. She looked at Usagi for a while, seeing if she'd react to her presence in any way. There was evidence of the other's visits surrounding her: a bundle of food from Makoto which was oddly untouched, a book from Ami, Minako's hairbrush. Everything in the room, including the three items, held a sense of surrender, as if they had picked up on the mood of the room's occupant and given up. Nothing that they could do would bring Usagi out of her depression and Rei was beginning to feel the same.

"What? You're not going to try to cheer me up?" The sudden, sarcastic tone made Rei jump. In the silence, she hadn't expected Usagi to speak. Rei noticed that Usagi hadn't moved at all. It was hard to believe that she had, in fact, done anything.

"I'm just here," Rei said very carefully, "to listen, if you want me too."

"Well, you're going to be waiting for a long time." Usagi stuffed her head in the crook of her arm. Her shoulders began moving rhythmically and Rei knew she started crying. Or maybe she continued to cry? She wasn't sure.

"That's ok, I can wait."

Rei ended up waiting a long time. Usagi just sat there and cried.

"Usagi," Rei had to say something. The silence was driving her insane. "It's been a week since," Rei hesitated. She couldn't mention the fight that had caused Usagi's depression, "Since you've been out of your room. We worry about you, Usagi. We need our princess."

"Who is 'we'?" said Usagi, refusing to lift her head.

"Your friends. We care about you."

At that moment, Rei heard voices outside Usagi's door.

"...and that young man outside looks so much like you, Ms. Kaiou..."

This caused Rei a moment of confusion. Ikuko must be talking to Michiru, which meant that Haruka was here, too. Why were they here?

The door swung open and revealed that Rei was correct. Silhouetted by the light from the hallway, Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaiou stood in the doorway, as if they, of all people, were unsure of what to do next.

"Hello," said Michiru.

"We came to see how our kitten was doing," said Haruka. Rei looked back to Usagi, who still hadn't moved. When Rei didn't say anything, Haruka and Michiru moved to Usagi's side.

"Hello, Princess," said Haruka, "How are you feeling?" Usagi looked up at her with a red-eyed 'How-do-you-think-I-feel?' look on her face.

"You shouldn't be so sad," said Michiru, "You did what you had to do." Usagi put her head back down and cried audibly, this time.

"Why did you say that?!" yelled Rei. She was surprised at herself for acting this way towards the two Outer Senshi, but she continued, nonetheless. "We've been trying to help her forget and here you two come and throw it in her face again!"

"She needs to accept it, Rei," said Haruka, angrily. "If she doesn't get back on her feet soon, we're all lost."

"We're fighting a war, here," said Michiru, a good deal more calmly, "We need her now."

"Get out." Haruka, Michiru, and Rei all looked at Usagi with shocked expressions on their faces. "Get out, all of you!" she screamed at them, fighting to hold back tears. "I've seen too much violence, I don't need to see my friends fighting each other, too!" She got up and began forcing them towards the door. They didn't go without protest, but they didn't resist, either.

Having cleared the room, she locked the door and went back to her spot on the floor. Luna came down from the bed where she had silently witnessed the whole thing. She climbed into Usagi's lap and Usagi clutched her like a doll, just for something to hold onto while she cried.

"Everything will be all right, Usagi," Luna said, "Everything will be all right."

* * * * * * * * * * *

Haruka and Michiru left almost immediately, stopping only to say goodbye to Mrs. Tsukino. Rei lingered a moment to speak to Jeff.

"Why didn't you want me to tell Mrs. Tsukino that you and Michiru are related?"

"Privacy," he replied, "Both of us would appreciate if no one knew I was Michiru's brother. You know, people would be bugging me for her autograph or getting her to agree to an interview, or something."

Rei was about to say how silly that was when a beautiful, cherry red car pulled up in front of the house. Mamoru got out and approached Rei and Jeff. He was dressed completely in black, from his neat, clean shoes to his dripping wet umbrella.

"You two can leave now, " he said as he walked up, "I'll take care of Usagi."

Jeff hesitated. He didn't want to leave his post. Considering that Mamoru was here, she was sufficiently protected, so he left, still using that creepy effect that let him avoid using an umbrella.

"You, too, Rei."

"Oh, um, right," Rei replied, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Rei. Go ahead."

"Why do you want us to leave?"

Mamoru smiled, "Isn't it all right for a man to want to be alone with his girlfriend?"

"Oh, all right," said Rei with a smile, "Just make her feel better, OK?"

Mamoru nodded, "That's what I'm here for."

* * * * * * * * * *
As Mamoru made his way up the stairs, he had a run in with a small, pink haired UFO that seemed to materialize out of nowhere and latch onto him with a force he knew that only two people in the world could muster,

"Hi, ChibiUsa," he said.

"Hi, Mamoru!" said ChibiUsa with a grin on her face. The grin soon faded, though, "Mamoru, can you help Usagi?"

"Of course, I can," he said. He knelt down so he could be at her eye level, "but I need a little privacy. So," he pulled some money out of his pocket and folded it into ChibiUsa's little hands. "Why don't you, Shingo, and your Ikuko-mama go out for lunch or something, OK?"

"Thank you, Mamoru!" ChibiUsa tore off down the hallway towards the stairs, but before she got there, she stopped and turned around. "Please help her, Mamoru." With that, she went off to collect the rest of her family.

Mamoru approached Usagi's door and knocked. No answer. He knocked again and got a similar result. When he tried to open the door, he found it was locked.

'She must be feeling bad if she's locked herself up like this,' he thought.

Just as he was about to call out and ask her to open, the door seemed to open all by itself. Mamoru was confused for a moment, then he looked down. Luna was standing there with the Ruby floating just above her right shoulder. he wasn't going to ask how they managed to open the door by themselves. He knew he wasn't going to get an answer anyway.

"Usagi's in there," said Luna. Then, she left with the Ruby floating silently behind her. Mamoru didn't know how, but they knew he wanted to be alone with her.

Opening the door, Mamoru found that the room was very dark. He thought it was quite fitting, considering Usagi's state of mind. She was still curled in a ball and staring out the window.

"Mamo-chan." Her voice was small and choked, as if holding back tears. Mamoru knelt down beside her.

"I'm right here, Usako."

"Mamo-chan, it hurts. I can't stand it any longer." For a moment, Mamoru was afraid that Usagi might want to kill herself, but he knew better than that. She knew killing wasn't an answer to killing.

"We'll get through this," he said.

"We?" she asked. She sounded angry. This is what Mamoru wanted to be alone for. If she started yelling or throwing things, he wanted to make sure he was the only target. "We?! Mamoru, you have no idea! Me, Mamoru. I killed him, and I have to deal with the pain." Usagi was right up in his face. She wasn't outwardly angry. In fact, her expression showed nothing but depression. She rested her head on his chest and continued.

"Everyone has tried to help me, but they just end up reminding me of why I need to be helped. They never say it, of course, but just the fact that they're here, and the look in their eyes...it hurts too much. Mamo-chan," Usagi raised her head and looked into his eyes. He had the feeling that something he didn't expect was going to happen, and he wasn't sure what it was, either. "I need to feel something other than pain."

Usagi reached up, entwined her arms around his neck and kissed him. She pushed him down onto the floor and he was surprised at how strong she could be when she wanted to be. He wasn't entirely sure when she started tearing at his clothes, but when she did, he found that he didn't care.

* * * * * * * * * * *

All across Tokyo, the Sailor Senshi paused in their daily tasks for a moment to wonder what the hell they just felt. It was like a release of energy, as if someone were celebrating, then it was gone. All of them could have swore it was the Silver and Golden Crystals reacting to something, but the sensation was gone too quick to tell. Everyone just shrugged and went back to whatever they were doing. Everyone except Rei. She stared of into the distance a bit longer. To her, it seemed that, for a moment, the two Crystals were one.

"It must be my imagination," she said to no one in particular and she went back to her chores.

* * * * * * * * * * *

On the wall, an old clock ticked. His officers often wondered why he chose to keep such an antiquity when he could have one of the latest wrist-chronometers that could keep the exact galactic time, every time, without having to be wound every once in a while like that old clock did.

Usually, Parthos explained himself by saying he liked old things or that the clock held sentimental value. In actuality, it was neither. The clock was there to remind him. The continuous tick, tick, tick kept him aware that time was not infinite.

"Time is never infinite, old boy," Parthos said to himself. "But with this," he held up what seemed to be a small wristwatch, "maybe Time will work for me instead of against me."

Putting the device back down on the table, he threw his head back and laughed.

AN: You like? I hope you do. Please tell me what you think and I promise to write chapter ten very soon. Until next time.

Prince Neptune