Chapter 5

'Love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care,

But for another gives its ease, and builds a Heaven in Hells despair.'

from 'The clod and the Pebble', by William Blake

He was back in his room, and sat in the window, looking out on the lawn. The others were playing some ballgame, and every now and then they cheered, laughed, joked... He didn't feel outside, or shut out. In fact, Jean had asked him to join, but he hadn't felt like moving around. It would feel to much like being on the run again. He just wanted to watch, and learn about this place.

As she caught another pass, Rouge turned her face towards the walls, and her gaze caught a face in one of the windows. Josh was watching them. She turned towards Remy, and sighed a little. 'Ya know, even if he said he wanted to be alone, Ah feel sorry for him.' she said, and Remy nodded empathically. 'Oui. Can't be easy to be him, ne?' Rogue shruged. 'It ain't easy to be any o' us, swamprat.' With that, she passed him the ball and flew to the other end of the imagined plan. Storm gave her competition enough, so noone complained about her advantage as air-borne. And the game continued.

Days later, he even joined them for dinner. He'd been eating in his room, and Jean said that they all understood, but he had realised that he needed to join them. Not only at meals, but in activity. He had a need to move now, to exercise. The last few years had been nothing but exercise, from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep. Even in his sleep, he'd been training, thinking and dreaming about things he needed to learn. Rest was well enough, but now he wanted to earn it. He even felt safe enough now to walk down the stairs by himself. Dressed in his 'better' clothes, the black polo and the pair of not so thorn jeans, he entered the kitchen, smiling uncertainly. They looked up from whatever they were doing, and Jean smiled at him. He felt warm all over by that smile, and her reaction gave him courage enough to look around and try to smile back. 'Hello everyone.' he said quietly, and then slipped sliently into an empty chair. It was almost as if they'd been expecting him. The conversation took speed again, and there was smiles and laughter. He hadn't seen or heard them in a very long time, and it felt good to make their aquintance again. He even joined the laughter as a food fight started, and Xavier ended up with mashed potato in his face - courtesy to Ororo.

Back in his room, he thought about this new turn of his life, and looked around. If he was going to stay, perhaps it was time that he took up on the offer of help with decorating his room...